This is a cute story. Its different- Gerard being a bully! I dont get why back in one of the first chaps why they hid the cigarette butts in a bag. After all the trouble they make without caring its weird that they would care about that! You seem to be making G more like a joker type trouble maker and not really a feared bully. So far the only person he actually hurt was Bob. Theres a difference between being a bully and being a joker... all the kids are 'afraid' of him but Im not really sure why... Rarely bullies do things for others amusement. Jokers do though... and people dont fear jokers.. they only fear that they'll be part of the joke... The whole bleeding angel chap was weird too. It kinda came out of left field with no warning... You have G being all calm and confident and then to make him so weak with no reason given. ( yeah Matts leaving) but is that really enough to push him over the edge... Does G have a history of cutting? Mikey didnt seem surprised by it... That would make sense though... Maybe he was real depressed and Matt helped him and now hes falling back? I dunno. Youre not giving enough clues to the reader to go on... If G is getting depressed again is he gonna start lashing out randomly? That would make him more feared... hmmmm. I dont know Ive got to think about this a little more... Its a cute story... You could probably (pardon the expression)cut the cutting scene and make it just a light hearted story about a trouble making G at school... but if youre going for what youre summary says (Somethin like) a downward spiral then you need to clarify Gees frame of mind more. ----xoxo
Author's response
Gerard wished to be evil. He told me so. And I gave him cupcakes.
Yeah that never happened. But it would be funny.