I find it instertesting the way you write about the prejudices and squabbles that exist between the Ronso and the Guado.
I especially like the way that you point out the reason for the Guado's greater prejudice is that they are recent converts to the faith of Yevon.
I am amused by the way that Lulu second guesses herself so often around Ginnem. But I think too that Ginnem seems a little bit too smug about the fact that worldliness is the best way of learning, as if she is so certain that she knows more than Lulu.
I also find it very interesting and quite plausible the way that Lulu feels jealous about the way the older women only consult each other about their battle plans and routes of travel.
I also enjoy the sppeculations about Auron. I trhink he would be a little annoyed and a little amused to hear that rumour was painting him as a crazy recluse in a Gagazet cave. And people will gossip about their legends, so I like this touch a lot. It is also amusing the way that Lulu half believes the rumours to be true.
Erna and Ginnem's fight is rather interesting, over how aeons should be used.
I really like the way that Erna seems sensitive to the smell of the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth and I never actually thought of the cavern itself as the trial, but I am sure it is. I like the way that Lulu mimics Ginnem and the way that Ginnem is so forceful in her decisions. This has been another interesting chapter. Even though I know what is coming next, I am interested to see how you write it.
Nitpicking:
"Beyond the Calm Lands lies the frigid Mt. Gagazet, and beyond that the holy ruins of Zanarkand, over which the sun never rose." "Lies" should be "lay."
""I'd like to work in Bevelle. In the clergy. As a mentor in elemental magics." These are sentence fragments and can be joined by commas rather than periods.
"Lulu reeled an oppressive stench hit her, undeniable as a brick." Add "as" after "reeled."
"At Ginnem's command, the aeon made an impressive display of very effeciently finishing the fiend with a single overdrive that called forth the sulphurous center of Spira and catapulted the even the largest beats over the tallest tree-tops. Hellfire." A typo: "beats" should be "beasts." Also, I think it would be just as effective to connent Hellfire to the previous sentence with a comma, rather than separating it off as a sentence fragment.