chuckle That's problem I well recognize from my own writing and why I try and get someone not at all involved with it to do a read-over and edit. It's an approach I learned "way back when" in college on papers (back when they were done on typewriters, not word processors ;) ) and it applies just as well to fanfic.
Author's response
i just finished my thesis, this past week i've jsut been throwing out chapters. and my beta is out of comission at the moment. when i get time i'll try to go back and fix many of the problems you pointed out. thanks.