Guado guardians! This makes me happy. It's nice to see them in another role, as allies of Yevon and Spira. The game pretty much uses them as generic baddies, and if I remember correctly they don't fare too well in X-2, so it's much appreciated. Erna may be the strongest character in this piece, and the best developed. The observation that the newly-converted Guado would be the most fanatical is very apt. I like the way she fights with the Ronso, too.
Ginnem is a bit harder grasp, as a character, although I can't quite put my finger on why. She feels generic, almost, relaxed yet serious, maternal but not old. I think she's just a little too perfect. It doesn't hurt the story--she dies, after all--but I can't help but think that it would be richer if she had a little bit of an edge on her.
I wouldn't complain about the lack of Lulu in this story. Even where she isn't physically present, this is about her. Knowing what happens, it was helpful to see Ginnem and her other guardians. I do like her bookishness and uncertainty. That earnestness translates well into the seriousness of an older, more self-assured woman. In a couple years, will she still want to teach magic in Bevelle?
Lots of nice language here. Lulu's comparing the Malboro against Chappu's breath is funny, and metaphor involving Yuna and the moth is simply lovely. I was a bit surprised by the ending, because I'd expected the continue through to Ginnem's death, but it was very powerful. We already know what happens. I didn't need to see her die to feel it.
I guess that not a lot happens to this chapter, in terms of plot, but it had a lot of weight. I enjoyed reading this. It's a moment in time, and in fic like this, that's very valuable.