well.......
it is a nice idea for a story! nothing horrible new or original soo far...
BUT the story is full of spelling errors which diminishes the reading fun. if english isn't your first language, you should look more often in a vocabulary-book or maybe ask friends to check a chapter before posting it...
i'm not natively speaking english but even i can see many faults in the chapters....
i hope you can fix that little problem, then i'm sure your story will be a great success