FicWad

I slid out of bed and threw on my robe. A quick search of the apartment confirmed my worst fear that Gerard was gone. It was after midnight. Where in the hell could he be? None of the answers I came up with were good. I went back to the bedroom, dressed quickly, then grabbed my phone and dialed his number. The call went to voice mail. Shit, now what? Okay, stay calm I told myself. I realized I needed to think about the baby. Getting stressed out was bad. I went to the kitchen to make some tea. My hands were shaking as I filled the teakettle.
“What are you doing?”
Shit, his voice made me drop the teakettle. “Gee” I launched myself into his arms.
“Laura, are you okay?” He stroked my back as he held me.
I stepped back, “Where were you?” Fuck, I could smell alcohol on him.
He gave me a puzzled look, “I couldn’t sleep. I went for a walk.”
“At this time of night?”
“Yeah.” He frowned, “I’m a big boy I can talk care of myself.”
I could tell he was getting angry. “Tell me the truth.” I said
“I couldn’t sleep. I went for a walk.” He repeated. “Why don’t you believe me?”
I took a deep breath, “Cause you smell like alcohol.”
He took a step back. “No, I don’t.”
“Yeah, you do.” I whispered. “Just tell me the truth, please.”
We stood staring at each other. The minutes ticked by, the silence in the room was deafening. Finally he simply turned and walked out of the kitchen. I followed him. “Please, stop.” I said blinking back tears.
He turned to me. “I promise you I didn’t drink.”
I wanted to believe him so much, “Okay.” I said slowly. “But there is something you’re not telling me.”
“I just couldn’t sleep, you know. So I took off. There’s a liquor store not far.” He moved over to the sofa and sat down heavily. “I bought a bottle of Jack. Oh fuck, my hands shook when I opened the bottle. I fucking hated myself. I spilled some of the shit as I raised the bottle. It spilled on my hoodie.” He looked up at me. “I didn’t fucking drink any.”
I moved to the sofa and kneeled down in front of him. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Cause I didn’t want you to know I’d almost fucked up again.” He looked down, “Cause I don’t want you to know I’m a stupid weak fuck.”
“No,” I laid my head on his legs, “You just proved how strong you are.”
“Oh fuck, Laura. I’m gonna fuck things up. I just know it.” His voice was filled with despair.
“No, you’re not.” I said. “I have complete faith in you.”
“But you just thought I’d been drinking.” He reminded me sadly.
“I had to ask. Because if you had I was gonna smack you.” I teased trying to lighten the mood.
He shook his head, “No, you really thought I had.”
Shit, how could I make him understand? “I knew earlier how badly you wanted a drink. I understand the pressure you’re under and I know that me being pregnant is fucking with your mind.”
“No, don’t say that.” He broke in. “It’s not.”
“Oh yeah, and it is and it’s understandable. But I’m proud at how you’re handling it. Still when I woke up alone and you hadn’t left a note it scared me. Fuck, you drank on our wedding night. I just want you to understand that if you do take a drink again it’s not gonna make me love you any less it’s just gonna make me try harder to help you.”
“I don’t deserve you.” He said looking away, “I really don’t. I don’t deserve this baby.”
“Okay once more, stop it.” I stood up. “I’ll not have the man I love, the father of my baby saying shit like that. You are a wonderful man. End of story.” Still he wouldn’t look at me. “Gerard, look at me.”
He slowly turned to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t make me get all pissy on your ass. You almost fell but you didn’t. Now lets go back to bed.” I put out my hand to help him up but he jerked and I landed on his lap. His arms surrounded me and he snuggled his lips into my neck. I could barely hear the words he said.
“I like the name Rachel.”

The next morning I awoke to the sound of my husband singing in the shower. I smiled listening to his voice. However, the words to the song were not familiar. I listened trying to make out all the words. By the time he came back into the bedroom still damp wearing only a towel I was crying.
“What’s wrong?” He crossed over to the bed and sat down next to me with a look of fear.
“Nothing.” I felt stupid.
“Do you feel bad?” He reached out and brushed the hair from my face.
“No.” I said, “I’m crying because of the song.”
He looked confused, “The song?” I saw understanding dawn in his eyes, “Oh the song I was singing in the shower?”
I nodded.
“Did you like it?”
Once more I could only nod.
He shook his head, “So you’re crying because you liked it?”
Damn man was making me sound like an idiot. I didn’t need any help in that department. “It was beautiful.” I finally muttered.
He leaned down and kissed my lips. “I wrote that for you.”
Oh shit, I started crying harder.
“Honey, stop.” He lay down next to me and took me in his arms, “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
I buried my head in the crook on his neck. “I’m just happy.”
“Me too.” He said. “So I had an idea. I’ve got to meet with Brian in an hour. Why don’t I leave you at Alicia’s and when I get back we’ll go for a drive. Just get away for the rest of the day.”
That sounded heavenly and I quickly agreed. He started to get up but I tightened my hold. “Gee?”
“Yeah?”
“When we get home tonight can it be a movie night?”
His fingers stroked my arm, “Have a movie in mind?”
I shook my head, “You pick the movie.”
He pursed his lips in thought, “Okay, let me think about it.” He smiled “Maybe I should just surprise you.”
I liked this kind of surprise. “Maybe you should.” I said hugging him tight.

“So what’s up between the brothers?” Alicia asked me as we sat down to catch up. The guys had just left for their meeting with Brian and I was happy just to sit and talk with my friend.
“What?”
“Yesterday when we were at your place Mikey was upset. He still won’t talk to me about it.”
“Oh.” I wondered how I was supposed to answer this. Had Mikey told her about the added security?
“Yeah, Oh.” She laughed. “Do you know what’s up?”
“Not really.” I answered. I was saved from saying more when my phone rang.
“Hey Laura.”
I smiled, “Jenny. How are you?”
“I’m out of the hospital but I just heard about Troy. What the fuck happened to him?”
“I’m not sure. I don’t think they’ve given out a cause of death. It usually takes a few days.”
“As fucked up as he was when he was at the hospital I’m guessing it’s drug related.” She said.
“Probably.” I agreed. I really didn’t want to talk about Troy. I wanted to forget all about the bad shit and just have a good day. “So how are you feeling?”
“Not bad. I’ve talked to the doctor and I should be able to go on the tour.”
“Really? Are you sure you should?”
She sighed, “I want to go. As much as I love my dad I don’t really get along all that well with his wife.”
“Oh, sorry.”
“And I miss the road.” She added.
I laughed, “Yeah, I do too.”
“Uh, Laura. I want to tell you something.”
“Okay.” I said slowly, “What?”
“The police where just here and they questioned me about Troy. I guess because I was one of the last people to talk to him.”
Oh shit I suddenly felt my good mood evaporating, “How did they know he’d visited you?”
“Carrie told them that when Troy called her he said he’d just been to the hospital to visit me.”
I noticed my hands were starting to shake. “What did they ask you?”
“They wanted to know why he had visited me and what he’d said.”
I closed my eyes. Oh shit, they would want to know about the envelope Troy had left. “What did you tell them?”
“I lied.” She whispered. “I told them he’d stopped by to see how I was and I did tell them he seemed really out of it.” She paused, “But I didn’t tell them he left something for Gerard.”
“Oh Jenny I don’t know what to say.” I felt relieved yet anxious she’d lied to the police.
“You don’t have to say anything. I just didn’t think you’d want Gerard brought into this. I hope I did the right thing.”
“Thank you.” I said. “You’re right we rather not have that mentioned.” My mind was racing. How would we have explained the drawing? The police would have wondered about the significance of it. They would have started to dig into Gee and Troy’s past.
“Hey, I’ve got to go.” Jenny said pulling me out of my thoughts. “I just wanted to tell you that.”
“Thanks again, Jenny.” I said feeling relived. “I’ll talk to you soon.”
We said our goodbye and I disconnected.
“What was that all about?” Alicia asked.
“Jenny just wanted to tell me she was out of the hospital and planning on getting back to work.” I said hoping she wouldn’t have any more questions.
Alicia gave me a sideways glance, “And?”
“And nothing.” I said. I hated to lie to her but what could I do? The less people knew about what was going on the better.
She seemed to decide not to push me on the matter. We moved on to other topics but still my mind stayed on Jenny’s call. I needed to tell Gerard what she’d done for us.

“I feel fucking bad she had to lie to the police but I can’t say I’m not grateful.” Gerard said as we sped out of the city.
“I agree.” I’d told him about the phone call as we left Mikey and Alicia’s.
Gerard reached over and took my hand in his, “So, lets just try to put all this shit out of our minds. I want to enjoy the day.”
I smiled at him, “I like your way of thinking.”
“Conner.” Gerard suddenly said.
I looked over at him, “What?”
My question was rewarded with a beautiful smile, “Conner. For a boy’s name?”
My heart soared listening to him speak about our unborn child. “Yeah, I like that name. I like it a lot.”
“Hey maybe we’ll get to use both names.” Gerard said with a huge smile. “Maybe we’re having twins.”
I looked at him like he’d just grown a second head, “Twins?”
He nodded, “Well maybe. Wouldn’t that be great?”
It was wonderful to see him in this kind of mood. He was so relaxed and happy. We stopped for lunch at a small out of the way restaurant and damn; it was so nice just being together. As we sat across the table holding hands I asked, “So come up with a movie yet?” As I asked this I lightly stroked the palm of his hand while I slipped off my shoe and ran my bare foot up his leg. The look on his face was priceless.
“Shit, woman. Stop that.” He whispered
“Why?” I smiled innocently. My foot slowly made its way to his crotch where my toes gently began the growing bulge I felt in his jeans.
“Cause I’m not gonna be able to stand up and walk out of here without embarrassing myself.” He said. I could see the desire in his eyes.
My toes continued to kneed, “Oh that’s too bad.” I purred.
“Shit, Laura. Really, you need to stop.” He whispered in a husky voice.
I looked around the restaurant. No one had even given us a second glance. We were seated in a secluded booth. “Gee, reached down and undo your jeans.” I whispered.
His eyes grew wide, “Oh fuck no.”
I laughed, “And why not?”
“We’re in a public place.” I could feel the bulge getting larger.
“Do it Baby.” I smiled, “No one can see and this is a fantasy of mine. I want to make you hard, I want to make you cum under this table.”
His eyes darted around. The tablecloth hid what was going on under the table and he knew it. “But the waitress will be here with our food soon.”
“Yeah, I know.” I said licking my lips. “That’s just part of the fun. I want to watch your face while I get you off and you try not to show what’s happening.” Shit, I was wet thinking about this. “Now do it. Reach down and slip out that cock.”
His eyes flashed with desire. “You are fucking something.” His breath caught as his hands grabbed the napkin off the table and spread it over his lap. He looked me directly in the eyes as he fumbled with his zipper.
I gave a small laugh, “I am fucking something.” I said as my toes felt the rock hard dick he’d released. “Oh yeah.” I whispered caressing him by brushing my foot along his length, “I really am.”