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Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling
The Serpent Society is owned by Marvel Comics.

Chapter 2: Nun fetish

With a ‘whooshing’ sound, Sidewinder and Black Mamba appeared in the secret facility that served as a base of operations for one of the Red Skull’s subsidiaries. It had been the quickest one the Serpent Society could find on such short notice.

‘’Now stick to the plan. I don’t need you getting hurt,’’ admonished Sidewinder. ‘’Just keep things quiet until I’ve gotten us all in.’’

‘’I will, darling,’’ said Black Mamba, as she gave Sidewinder’s mask a kiss.

Sidewinder blushed beneath his mask as he teleported away and returned with Bushmaster.

Bushmaster took up a position guarding Black Mamba as she scanned for minds that she could distract with her mutant power until they’d all arrived.

‘’Mamba, look out!’’ yelled Bushmaster as, he threw his body between her and the hulking form that came round the corner.

When Anaconda appeared, with Sidewinder, she said: ‘’Why aren’t you using power to distract him?’’

‘’I can’t feel his mind,’’ replied Black Mamba. ‘’I think he’s some kind of robot!’’

‘’A little help here!’’ called out Bushmaster as the Sleeper robot began slamming him against the wall by the tail that replaced the quadriplegic’s legs.

‘’Guess I have to do this myself,’’ grumbled Anaconda, as her arms stretched forward to wrap around one of the arms of the ten-foot-tall robot.

The Sleeper robot began slamming them both against the walls, as it had Bushmaster’s tail in one hand and Anaconda wrapped around the other arm.

‘’Well, well, what do we have here?’’ asked a woman dressed like a kinky nun.

‘’I’ve got her!’’ declared Asp, as Sidewinder teleported her in.

A bolt of electricity shot out of Asp’s hand paralyzing the kinky nun.

‘’Not her, get the robot,’’ shouted Bushmaster as the Sleeper robot slammed him into the wall again.

‘’I can’t!’’ protested Asp. ‘’I’ll get you and ‘conda too!’’

‘’Let go Anaconda!’’ demanded Cobra when he appeared. ‘’If I can hand Thor, I can certainly handle a clunky robot!’’

Just then, another nun appeared around the corner, this one with bird claws instead of hands.

‘’You hurt Sister Beauty! Now I’ll show you why I’m called Sister Pain!’’ said the bird-like nun, as she charged Asp.

‘’Don’t worry I’ve got her!’’ said Anaconda as she extended one of her arms to wrap around Asp’s attacker.

Cobra had taken Anaconda’s place in keeping the sleeper occupied by first wrapping around the Sleeper’s free arm. When the Sleeper tried to bash Cobra against the wall, the robot found that the Cobra had moved onto its’ back. When the Sleeper robot tried slamming its’ back against the wall, Cobra was suddenly wrapped around its’ leg. As a result, the Sleeper Robot was beating itself up, trying to get the fast and flexible supervillain off of it. In the confusion, the robot let go of Bushmaster, who slithered away from the robot’s reach.

Then, yet another nun came on to the scene.

‘’I’ve got her!’’ declared Black Mamba as she began using her Darkforce illusionary powers to attack Sister Death.

When Diamondback and Sidewinder appeared on the scene, she took stock of the situation and picked her opponent. Now they were all here. (Cottonmouth had stayed at the Serpent Citadel to watch Hiss)

‘’Cobra, every one, get clear!’’ shouted Diamondback as she pulled out an explosive diamond.

Everyone knew to get clear of the vengeful mother wielding explosives. Cobra leaped away from the Sleeper as Diamondback threw an explosive filled diamond at the robot. The blast broke a hole in the armor of the robot, but it was still advancing.

‘’Thanks, Diamondback, that’s just what I needed!’’ said Bushmaster as he reached into the guts of the robot and pulled out a bunch of wires.

The Sleeper Robot slumped forward, deactivated.

‘’Let’s make sure,’’ said Cobra as he squirted a dose of acid in the hole in the robot’s chest.

‘’WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?’’ shouted yet another nun as she came on the scene.

Sidewinder appeared behind her and hit her on the head, knocking her unconscious.

‘’Okay, we’ve made our kill, let’s get out of here!’’ said Sidewinder.

‘’But we’ve got them at our mercy!’’ protested Anaconda.

‘’˝The Red Skull killed one of ours. Now we’ve killed one of his. Don’t get greedy Blache. It will end up getting you killed,’’ admonished Sidewinder.

‘’Yes, who knows, how many more of his minions are lurking about,’’ agreed Black Mamba. ‘’I’ve never even heard of these people before. Who knew that the Red Skull had a nun fetish?’’


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They were stranded by the side of the road. Diamondback’s frustration grew as she paced back and forth trying to get her cell phone to work. Her ward, Hiss, was playing by the road side. She had been taking him for his twice weekly training session with the Taskmaster when the car’s engine dies abruptly. She tried calling for help but her mobile phone wasn’t working either.

‘’Fucking piece of Shit!’’ yelled Diamondback, as she threw her phone away. Mobile phones were a relatively new technology and the bulky things hadn’t been perfected yet. But the greater problem was that every since he’d been attacked, technology had been intermittently failing around young Larry.

‘’You said a dirty word, mom!’’ accused Larry.

‘’Sorry honey’’ apologized Diamondback, as the phone rang.

Diamondback ran to retrieve the phone from the mud where she’d tossed it.

‘’Hello? Hello?’’ said Diamondback.


‘’Diamondback, this is the Taskmaster,’’ said the caller. ‘’I was wondering why you have arrived yet for Hiss’ lesson?’’

‘’Sorry Taskmaster, Hiss was attacked a few days ago,’’ replied Diamond back. ‘’Ever since then, anything electrical keeps malfunctioning around him. We were on our way to see you when the car malfunctioned.’’

‘’I see,’’ said the Taskmaster. ‘’Tell me where you are. I’ll send someone to pick you up.’’

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After the helicopter had brought them to the Taskmaster’s school with Hiss dangling from a basket, suspended by a long cable below the helicopter, the Taskmaster began his examination of Hiss.

‘’I’m afraid we were mistaken about the nature of Hisses powers,’’ reported the Taskmaster. ‘’He’s not a mutant, he’s a mystic. It is his magic that is disrupting everything electrical around him. I’m going to have to bring in an outside consultant.’’

This was not at all unusual. The Taskmaster often brought in members of the supervillain community to help train his favorite student. One week it would be Batroc, to help teach Savant foot fighting, another week it might be Oddball, to help teach throwing accuracy. Diamondback never ceased to be amazed at how exactly the Taskmaster could accurately duplicate and analyze the skills of these guest teachers. He’s take what other’s did without thinking and break it down into a series of exercises that Hiss could learn more easily.

‘’What we need is someone versed in both technology and the Mystic Arts,’’ continued the Taskmaster. ‘’I’m going to contact the Latverian embassy and see if I can get Dr. Doom to help.’’

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‘’I’m sorry, boss, but the Sleeper is broken beyond repair,’’ said Machinesmith. ‘’I mean I could make a new robot and put its’ shell over it. But that acid really did a number on the guts.’’

‘’I see,’’ fumed the Red Skull. ‘’Those blasted Serpents have attacked us for no reason and deprived me of a valuable resource! That was the last of the Sleepers. The scientist who made him is long dead. It’s irreplaceable! I think it’s time I reigned in this Serpent Society and brought them under my control. Crossbones, get the Secret Empire’s soldiers prepared for a jail break!’’

‘’Who we gonna’ spring, Boss?’’ asked Crossbones.

‘’The Viper,’’ replied the Red Skull.

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After the Latverian VTOL plane landed at the Taskmaster’s school, a familiar armored figure stepped out. As he came closer, the trio couldn’t believe what they were seeing.

‘’Dr, Doom, thank you for coming on such short notice,’’ greeted the Taskmaster.

‘’Forgive me, Lord Doom,’’ said Diamondback, ‘’but I expected you to be a little . . . taller.’’

‘’He’s just a kid!’’ exclaimed Hiss.

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Author’s note:

Some of you are probably wondering what’s going on. In late 1980’s, there was a storyline written by Steve Englehart, where Dr. Doom had a near death experience. In order to save himself, he transferred his consciousness into someone who had been nearby when he ‘died’. While he was in hiding gathering his resources for a comeback, the Doombots got impatient and programmed Doom’s ward, Kristoff with the memories of Dr. Doom. Now there were two Dr. Dooms! When the two Dr. Dooms confronted each other, the Doombots decided that Kristoff was the Real Dr. Doom! So Dr. Doom in a 10-year-old body ruled Latveria. While Dr. Doom in an Adult’s body, was plotting his downfall and requiting others onto his team, like the Hulk. This could have been a great epic story.

Unfortunately, Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter left Marvel and the new EiC, Tom DeFalco, was not as friendly to Englehart. The storyline was abandoned and eventually ret-coned away. (Can anyone explain to me how ‘Janeless ‘ is an obscene adjective?)

But I can’t help wondering what if . . .