FicWad

Notes: A special thanks to Darth Animus, Claude and goldfishlover73 for always reading.

Chapter Eleven: Transcendent Madness

You know, a long time ago, being crazy meant something. Now a days, everyone’s crazy.

–Charles Manson

Once the panic attack had receded, Saguru escorted the still-trembling teen home, loaning him his jacket to shield him from the cool night air. Kaito had been silent the entire trip, trying to put facts and reality back together again.

He paused on the steps to his house, looking back. Guiltily, Saguru met those scared, unsure eyes.Without a word, Kaito turned and headed into the dark house, leaving Saguru staring after him.

The walk to his family's laboratory had been quick, the teenager too lost in his thoughts to pay much attention to anything going on around him. He keyed in his security code before heading down to the lab set aside for his personal use, grabbing his lab coat and a pair of vinyl gloves. He slipped the gloves on, pulling a wrapped bundle from his jacket pocket afterwards, setting it on a metal tray next to his laptop. He took a seat, staring at the glittering mass of gems and cold metal, still debating with himself over whetherthis was the right choice, the right move. Sighing deeply, he opened the top right drawer of his desk, pulling out a packet of sterile tweezers. He held the head piece carefully as he untangled the strands of dark brown hair caught in the various setting and links of the headdress, setting them in the shallow tray, carefully separating each strand.

That accomplished, he set aside the head piece and dragged his magnifying glass stand closer, blinking down through the large lens as he lifted each strand, studying them carefully, separating out the strands that still held the root material from the strands that were broken or sheared.

After studying the strands removed from the head piece, he selected one and dropped it into a plastic vial, adding in a clear mixture, before adding the vial, along with two controls to the centrifuge, pressing the start button. He watched as the collection of vials rotated back and forth, round and around, his mind traveling over the events of the evening, his head rotating slightly as he was lost in thought, following the visual cues of the rotating machine.

He didn't know what was going on, though he had his suspicions. It was...unbelievable to say the least, but there was only direction that all the evidence was pointing to. And no matter how impossible, evidence never lied.

He massaged a hand over his face, feeling dizzy and slightly nauseated, emotion and the long night catching up with him. Every movement he made drew even more exhaustion from him, but he had to finish. He had to know, even though, truthfully, he already did.

Jarred from his thoughts by the beep of the machine, he lifted the lid and removed the vial he wanted, flicking it open with his thumb as he grabbed a multi-step pipette, filling the eight tips with liquid from the vial before setting the now empty cup in the bio-hazard box. Grabbing a gel plate from the shelf, he carefully slid the tips of the pipette into the end, inserting the liquid, before attaching the electrodes and turning on the current.

He watched as the liquid was pulled through the gel, creating tiny bands across the gel, information laid out in a bar code. The bands started becoming familiar, falling into an expected pattern. He turned to his laptop, opening the screen. A few clicks later and he had open another bar code, studying the bands on Kid's DNA profile, before glancing back at Kaito's, still forming in the gel next to him.

Pushing away from the desk, he shook his head and stood, weaving his way to the coffee maker. Turning it on and watching the already set up grounds brew into a dark, rich liquid, he turned back towards the laptop, worrying at his lip. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with the results of this little test.

Honor demanded he turn over the results to Nakamori and the Task Force, but there was a part of him that wanted to forget about any results. That wanted to shy away from the truth and pretend it wasn't true.

So what did he go with? His instinct, his honor? Did he hand over the evidence condemning not only a friend but a lover as well? It would have been the culmination, the conclusion of his long career. He would be free to go home, to return to his every day life, putting Japan and its thieves behind him.

Or did he follow his heart?

He blinked, coming back into himself. His heart?! There was nothing relating to the heart in this...relationship. It was sex and fun, pure and simple.

He shook his head again, trying to dispel his thoughts, turning back to the coffee and grabbing a mug, pouring himself a cup, taking a long, deep breath of the bitter liquid, feeling his braincells waking up from the simple smell.

Coffee in hand, he returned to his desk, taking a sip of the coffee before setting it far away from his laptop. He unhooked the electrodes from the gel, before grabbing a pen and marking out the bands that created Kaito's DNA profile, carefully studying each tiny colour change to make sure he didn't miss a single band.

Turning back to his laptop he opened a fresh sample sheet and started inputting the numbers, double checking every so often with the gel to make sure they were lining up correctly. Sample done, he moved the new readout, laying it next to the known Kaitou Kid sample, staring at the matching dark and light gray bands.

He had known, for quite a while, that Kaito was in fact Kid, he had known it since shortly after meeting the teenager. But, now he had the evidence, the un-deniable truth that would stand up in any court in the world.

He wanted to throw up.

Resting his chin on his hand, sipping his coffee, he stared at the samples that seemed to be watching him back, waiting for his decision. Head or heart, honor or lust...friendship or betrayal?

He closed his eyes, feeling the exhaustion and emotion dragging down at him suddenly. He reached out, and hit a few keys on his laptop, before letting out a breath. Eyes slowly opening, he stared at the 'File Deleted' message before standing, draining his coffee and grabbing the gel tray and the few remaining samples of Kaito's hair he had isolated from the headdress.

He carried the samples over to the bio-hazard box, tossing first the hairs, then the gel and its tray into the box, shutting it, making sure the lock latched before adding it to the stack to be properly disposed of.

Returning to his laptop, he inserted a CD that started writing gibberish filled files to his hard drive, taking up available space before deleting themselves. As he watched the files obliterate traces of the deleted file, he wondered what the hell he was doing.

Why was he protecting the very thing he was so desperate to catch?

He massaged his uninjuredhand against his temple, feeling a headache forming just behind his left eye. Groaning, his casted hand reached out, seizing a glass beaker. He glanced at it, before launching it across the lab, watching as the beaker shattered against the freezer. The small moment of irrational anger was satisfied by the tinkling of the broken glass and he sat in his chair, turning to the laptop and setting about writing up a report of the night's heist, excluding the activities back at his house and completely fabricating how he got the headdress back.

--

Hope Diamond returns on statue in the Louvre!

--

Saguru was distracted from the screaming headline by a hand crumpling the top of his newspaper, pushing it down. He glanced up at the interruption, blinking as deep blue eyes met his.

"May I speak with you, Hakuba-kun?" Kaito asked, his voice back to its normal confident tone, though there was an undercurrent of worry and weariness.

Saguru nodded, folding his paper up and returning it to his bag before standing, gesturing for the other teen to follow him. He led Kaito to an empty classroom away from the crowd still filling the hallways before school started. Once Kaito entered the room, he shut the door behind them, leaning against it. He figured this was a conversation that would need a bit of privacy.

Kaito stared out the window across the room, gathering his thoughts for the conversation to come, left hand clenching and unclenching at his side. "Hakuba-kun, can you explain to me why I went to sleep in my bed five days ago, and woke up yesterday in yours?"

Saguru studied the back in front of him, turning over things in his mind, trying to decide what and how to tell Kaito what had happed in the past week. "I..." Saguru paused, running a hand through his hair. "What do you know of the disease known as Multiple Personality Disorder?"

"That it's a sham." Kaito said with an easy shrug. "A lie people tell to get away with sometimes horrific crimes. Some are better actors then others, but in the end, none of it's true. It spawned the rise in a disease known as Disassociative Identity Disorder which is more...believable."

Saguru raised an eyebrow at the answer, but was rather relived that Kaito knew a bit about the subject. "True, it is often used by criminals to get released or lighter sentences, but there are some cases proven to be...different." He took a seat on the teacher's desk, staring at the back of Kaito's head. "How long have you been suffering blackouts?"

Kaito turned sharply at the words, studying Saguru's face, his own expression shutting down into a blank mask. "A few weeks...maybe a month...why?"

Saguru took a breath, blowing it slowly through pursed lips, thoughts whirling faster then he could follow, trying to discover a way to put the words so that Kaito would LISTEN to him, really listen, and understand.

He stood, moving over to Kaito who visibly struggled not to step back. Saguru stopped a few inches from him, looking down at the face, so different, and yet such the same as the one Kid wore. It was amazing really, how someone's very personality and expression could change how they look.

He reached out, gently brushing his hand over Kaito's cheek, tilting his head up. He remembered, violently in fact, doing this to Kid not three days ago, staring down into those same eyes, watching them as if they held the secrets Saguru had ever wanted to know. But Kid had never looked at him with eyes so filled with turbulence and emotion. He had never inspired the feeling in Saguru to pull the thief close and hold him until the threatening tears vanished.

"Five days ago, therewas a Kaitou Kid heist," Saguru said and smiled at the shaking of Kaito's head, expecting the denial. "You can read the news reports, Kaito. But also, five days ago, Kaitou Kid was targeted by the group in the shadows that takes a liking to shooting thieves out of the sky. I was...caught in the crossfire, and ended up spending quite a bit of the evening and early morning in the company of the hunted thief." Kaito's body was trembling and Saguru stopped in his round about explanation to pull Kaito closer.

Kaito rested his face against Saguru's shoulder, clenching his hands tightly, struggling to gain control of his body again. His eyes squeezed shut tightly, blocking the confused and frustrated tears that wanted to escape. He twitched in Saguru's arms, as the detective started to speak again.

"Last night, I spent the evening at yet another heist, where once again, Kaitou Kid was targeted by gun-toting men who also destroyed the stage the thief had been standing on, in order to cause panic. Upon leaving the heist scene, I was in the company of the thief, up until you...came to in my bed. A thief, who not only looks like you, but has quite a few habits similar to yours."

"I'm not..." Kaito started, raising his head only to find Saguru's finger against his lips.

"No, you're not. At least, not any more." Saguru had to smile at the look of confusion on Kaito's face and he bent close, his lips barely touching the other teen's. "Unless you are just that good of an actor."

"What?" Kaito said, his voice dropping slightly, moving into a whisper as his eyes drifted shut for a moment before opening, moving his head back from Saguru's. "What do you mean?"

It took Saguru a moment to answer, he was still busy recording Kaito's reaction to his nearness. The teen was still in his arms, pressed close, and Saguru wasn't sure if that was because Kaito was in need of the comfort, it was familiar to his body (after all, Kid had spent quite a bit of time in Saguru's arms the past week), or something else. But that was to dissect later, right now, he needed to focus on Kaito and what was going on.

"Where is your card gun, Kaito?" he asked, rather suddenly to the teen.

Kaito reached into his waistband, under his uniform jacket and removed it, holding it up, confused. Saguru took the gun and placed it out of Kaito's reach before fully releasing the teen. He crossed the room, back to his book bag by the door, removing a folder.

"I have something to show you, but I need you to wait until I explaining, all right? Then you may panic.”

Kaito worried at his lip for a moment, before nodding, holding out his hand for the folder. Saguru handed it over and took a seat on the teacher's desk again, watching Kaito as the teen opened the folder and stared, open mouthed at the contents. It was two DNA samples, printed out side by side, the matching information a neon sign for even someone unskilled in reading the results.

"I tested it off your hair, trapped in the headdress I retrieved from you last night, it matched against a sample retrieved from a Kid heist quite a while ago, as well as the blood samples left before I arrived in Japan. This clearly indicates you were, at one time, Kaitou Kid. Now, said phantom thief is an expert actor. Accomplished in voice manipulation, ventriloquism, as well as the assuming of complete identities perfectly. So now there is a question. Knowing your identity and...history, are you acting, or do you really have no knowledge of what has been going on?"

Kaito stared at the paper in his hand, folder trembling as his hand started to. Small, wet droplets hit the page, smearing some of Saguru's notes that had been written in the blank space of the paper. He looked up at Saguru, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. He opened his mouth to speak before closing it. The folder slid from his hands as he stared blankly at the wall, unable to find words to speak. His thoughts were running over themselves in endless circles, fear and frustration warring for dominance over the other.

Everything was over. Saguru now had concrete information to give to the Task Force, had the very evidence Kaito had tried so hard to keep from them, the evidence needed to lock him away for a very long time.

It was all for nothing. All the games, all the tricks, all the running, all the heists. Nothing had been worth it. His goal was still un-accomplished, his father's murders still running the streets, murdering other innocent people. They would end up the winners, with Kaito locked away and Pandora just waiting for them to take.

And Kaito still had no idea what was going on, or what was happening to him.

Saguru could see the edges of a panic attack (or maybe simply just freaking out) starting in Kaito and he reached out, pulling the teen close, trapping him between his legs to hold him still as he brushed his thumbs over Kaito's cheeks, wiping away the tears. He couldn't tell you how he knew, but something deep inside him told him that this was real, that Kaito wasn't acting. He rested his hands on Kaito's cheek, forcing the boy's eyes to his, waiting until some spark of life came back to them.

"Relax, Kaito, breathe and calm down. You don't have to be scared," he said softly, keeping his tone even to keep Kaito from reacting instinctively. "You're not going to be arrested...at least, not unless you do something stupid."

"What is happening to me, Saguru? Tell me," Kaito whispered, trusting Saguru's words. His eyes closed, head tilting down until it rested on Saguru's shoulder, body still trembling with the fear and tears filling his body.

"There is no other way to explain this but to be blunt," Saguru started, combing his fingers through the brown strands tickling his cheek, resting his own head against Kaito's, hugging the teen close, wishing he could stop the trembles tormenting the boy, take away all the pain and fear he himself had caused him. "You suffer from multiple personalities, though as far as I can see, you only have two, yourself...and Kid."

Kaito wanted to deny it, to scoff and call Saguru an idiot. He didn't even believe in the supposed disease, so how could he be suffering from it?

But...wasn't that better? To be ill rather then insane, to have a reason, rather then questions? And it made a sort of sense. The blackouts the events happening that he had no knowledge of, the situations he found himself in when he 'woke up'. It even explained certain events in his past that had him confused. He had always brushed away the odd calmness, the shifting of mood and thoughts, the instinct to duck or turn that had felt almost like someone whispering in his ear.

But...if he...if he really was sick, if there was another...personality inside him...what did that mean for him? Where did he go from here?

And why the hell did he wake up, nearly naked, in Saguru's bed, with Saguru sucking on his skin?!

He could feel a pair of soft lips against his temple, placing the gentlest kiss Kaito could remember since he was a child and his parents tucked him in. He raised his head, looking up at Saguru, sniffling slightly from his crying jag. He raised a hand, wiping his eyes on his sleeve before closing his eyes, blocking the fresh wave of tears that wanted to fall. "Why?" he whispered softly, sniffling again. "Why me? Why now...why?"

"I don't know," Saguru said, his voice still soft and even, rubbing his hands lightly up and down Kaito's back. "I don't know why you or why now or why anything. But, I will help you find out. I promise. You're not alone in this, not now, nor ever. I am here and I know, that if you wanted, Aoko-kun would be here too."

Kaito gave another weak sniffle, before giving into the impulse, wrapping his arms around Saguru's neck and hugging him tightly, burring his face in Saguru's neck. "I'm scared," he whispered, feeling a weight being relieved at admitting it, yet ashamed that he had.

"I know," Saguru said, holding Kaito tightly, resting his head on Kaito's, kissing the brunette's head gently. "I know, and I'm scared to. I'm scared for what you're going through, and what's to come. But I know that you are strong enough to get through this, to move forward."

Kaito's arms tightened around Saguru for a moment, before loosening. Kaito pulled away from the hug, raising his head and wiping his eyes again from the tears that had started up again, before calming at Saguru's words. As his arm moved away from his eyes, they caught, and locked onto Saguru's, staring at the blond, almost as if truly seeing him.

Saguru had always been there, chasing him, taunting him, yelling at him, laughing with him, but Kaito had never really SEEN Saguru, not as a person, as someone other then an annoying detective, a tentative friend...a chance to be betrayed and turned in.

But now, Saguru was a person. He was a comfort, an ally, someone to lean on as his reality crumbled around him, to gather strength from as his his life became up rooted.

Kaito stared at Saguru, taking in the person he saw, the person holding him, calming him, and merged it with the two-dimensional reflection in his head, creating something new...something different and unique.

He raised his hand, resting it against Saguru's cheek, feeling the smooth skin, the faint roughness of an old scar, the warmth. It was a new thing, to touch Saguru's cheek, to feel everything that made up the blond's skin...and yet, there was a strange sense of memory, a tickle of deja vu that said this wasn't new, that his hand knew the feel of that cheek.

Had...Kid...touched Saguru like this? Had he stared into those golden eyes and wondered what secrets they held? Had he leaned in, tilting his head just so, before feeling a whole new sensation, of soft, warm lips pressed against his? Did Kid like the feeling? Did he get a tingle in his spine as those lips parted, a moist heat brushing over his own lips as Saguru breathed against them?

Kaito pulled away from Saguru's lips, licking his own as he watched the detective falter, trying to come back to the present. And it made Kaito wonder...if Saguru was thinking of him...or of Kid?

"What is he to you?" Kaito asked. His voice rang in his ears, oddly calm, detached... HIS voice. Not Kaito's. The voice of the poker-faced thief who'd somehow... somehow won over Saguru, despite... oh gods, it had been not-Kaito who'd broken Saguru's wrist, put him in the hospital, left a heist note embedded in the detective's door with a knife... and Kaito didn't even know if there was more.

"I...don't know," Saguru said honestly, running a hand through his hair. "It’s...confusing at best."

"What am I?" Kaito asked, his hands clenching slightly in Saguru's hair, blond strands held tight between his fingers.

"You are...Kaito," Saguru said simply. "My friend, my annoyance, my rival."

"What if...what if I...what if we..." Kaito started before trailing off to silence finally, unable to find the words to accurately portray what he wanted to ask.

"Whatever else, is for time to bring to us, Kaito." Saguru said, his hands falling to rest on Kaito's hips. "Right now, you don't need to worry about us or him or you or any of that. What happens, happens, and right now, we need to focus on you, and getting you better, or as better as you can get."

Kaito slid away from Saguru, his body stiffening, mask sliding back over his expression, hiding his thoughts and feeling from the blond. "So you don't want anything with me?" he questioned, his tone mild, as if he didn't care one way or the other, but just wanted confirmation.

Saguru sighed, the urge to roll his eyes striking him. He resisted the urge and stood, moving behind Kaito, stopping just short of touching him. "I never said that, Kaito. I said not to worry about it right now, there are more important matters at hand."

"Why can't this be at hand as well?" Kaito asked, turning to look at Saguru.

"Because these are things better left to happening, then discussing," Saguru said, smiling slightly. He leaned down, brushing his lips against Kaito's quickly before stepping away. "Now come on, we are late to class," he said, grabbing the forgotten folder and his book bag, waiting by the door.

Kaito stared after him before sighing and running his hand through his hair, confused at his own behavior over the matter, the feelings swamping him, and the...insistence that he pin Saguru into an answer. "Alright, let's go," he muttered, opening the door and stepping out into the hall.

--

Saguru was laying back on the couch in the den, watching the television drone on, some old comedy playing that was doing more to put him to sleep then to cause humor in him. He was reaching for the remote when a bell sounded though the house. Frowning, he turned to the clock before pushing himself off the couch, yawning as he padded to the door.

He first checked the side window, glancing out, his frown deepening as he saw Kaito leaning against the wall. The teenage boy looked exhausted, and Saguru wondered, briefly, if Kaito would fall over if the wall was removed.

He disarmed the security alarm before unlocking the door, opening it and stepping outside. "Kaito?"

Kaito rolled his head to the side, blinking at Saguru before pushing himself off the wall. "Hey, sorry to disturb you so late but..." He looked nervous, shifting slightly. "I was just wondering, if I could stay the night. Mom's got a date and...well, I don't feel comfortable staying home alone tonight."

Saguru studied the boy before moving from in front of the door, waving him in. "Come on in," he said, following Kaito, offering the boy a pair of house scruffs as he took the duffel bag from Kaito's shoulder.

Kaito could hear the television in the den and he looked even more nervous, glancing around. "I'm not intruding, am I?" he asked softly, relaxing a touch when Saguru shook his head.

"Mum and Dad are on a holiday and the housekeeper is off tonight. Actually I was going to turn in, but perhaps you'll provide better entertainment then a decades-old program," he said, smiling at Kaito. "Hungry or thirsty?"

"Thirsty," Kaito said, following Saguru through the den and into the spacious kitchen. He glanced around curiously at everything while Saguru poured them both soda's, grabbing a bowl of chips just in case.

The pair made their way back to the den, settling themselves on the sofa. Kaito accepted his glass, sipping from it as he got a good look at Saguru. He laughed, almost spitting out his soda as he finally connected what he saw with his brain.

Saguru looked at him curiously, taking a chip from the bowl. "What's so funny?"

"I've never seen you so...un-stuffed."

Saguru glanced down at his bare chest and jeans, colouring slightly as he remembered what he was wearing. "I don't wear suits when I'm lounging around the house," he said, embarrassed.

"Yes but...you have holes." Kaito said, a finger sliding through the worn hole in Saguru's jeans that had been giving glimpses of heart printed boxers as Saguru shifted. The probing finger wiggled more in, and Saguru made a noise in his throat, grabbing Kaito's wrist.

The hole in question had been rather high up on Saguru's thigh, and the wiggling finger wasn't very productive to an innocent evening. "Please stop poking at my holes," he said, removing Kaito's hand from his thigh.

Kaito smiled, laughter in his eyes as he took another drink from his soda. "So what are we watching?" he asked, staring curiously at the black and white show, tossing a chip into the air and catching it in his mouth.

"No idea, I just randomly picked a channel really," Saguru said with a shrug before offering the remote to Kaito. He leaned back on the couch, his legs hanging off so Kaito had space. It was nearing midnight and Saguru's mind was spiraling closer and closer to the pull of sleep. He shifted, trying to wake his brain up so he wouldn't drift off and leave Kaito alone. Not that he didn't trust the teen in his house, but it wasn't very hospitable when someone came, wanting companionship. "So your mum's on a date?" he asked by way of conversation, only realizing after the words were already out that it might not be a subject Kaito wished to talk about.

But Kaito just smiled, curling his legs up under him, making a slight face at the idea. "Yeah, some guy she met at work," he said, and it was obvious by his face he wasn't really thrilled with the guy.

Saguru shifted again, making more room for Kaito. "I didn't know your mother dated, she never seemed...interested," Saguru said for lack of a better word. Kuroba Mika had always seemed...the perfect house mother to him. Always there when they got there, ready with cookies and sodas, cleaning or cooking. The idea of her dating just didn't...fit in.

"She didn't before," Kaito said, turning to look at Saguru, finding him far more interesting then the television at the moment. "After dad...vanished, she focused on me. It wasn't until I was thirteen that she started dating." Kaito said. He drifted off as he took a sip before smiling fondly in memory. "I actually set her up on her first date, it was a complete fiasco but it showed her I'm okay with her seeing other men so it was okay. And I'm happy for her mostly, she needs someone more in her life then just me and the memory of dad."

"Admirable,”Saguru said, smiling at Kaito. He yawned deeply, his eyes closing for a moment. That's why, when a heavy weight shifted against him, he was rather surprised. He opened his eyes and looked down at the mess of brunette hair on his chest.

"Don't say anything," Kaito said softly. "Just...let me lay here."

Saguru shifted to bring his legs up onto the couch, wrapping an arm loosely around Kaito. "Lay there as long as you want," he said, brushing his hand through Kaito's hair before snuggling into the couch, fully prepared to sleep there as long as Kaito wanted.

It was dawn, when the housekeeper found them, still curled up on the couch, the television playing softly in the background. She smiled as she fetched a blanket from the cupboard, draping it over the pair snuggled together on the couch, brushing Saguru's hair from his face before going to start breakfast.

Saguru shifted as the light weight of the blanket settled across his face, nose twitching, wrinkling slightly from the feeling. He shifted, groaning softly as a heavy weight snuggled further against him, pinning him to the couch. Yawning deeply, he pushed the blanket down, following it with his eyes until it rested on a patch of rich brown hair. Smiling softly, he drew his free arm up, brushing it through the wild strands of Kaito's hair, gently petting the other teen, enjoying the feel of Kaito's breaths against his chest.

He shifted his hips under Kaito, adjusting himself to a more comfortable position, before giving another deep yawn, watching the sunrise as it played over the ceiling, lighting it up slowly, a beautiful, silent performance for the detective. The ceiling was a rich, golden colour when Saguru first felt Kaito stirring. He shifted his gaze down, watching as Kaito himself yawned, making a soft mewling sound. Blue eyes slowly fluttered, thick dark lashes uncovering and then hiding Kaito's eyes before they fully opened.

Kaito stretched, wincing as his wrist twisted, the velcro on his brace having come loose during the night. He sat up, stretching again, this time being careful of turning his wrist. He yelped slightly as his 'chair' suddenly shifted and he yawned, looking down at Saguru before smiling brightly. "Morning."

"Good Morning," Saguru said, sitting up himself, ignoring the fact that the action trapped Kaito between his legs in favor of gently grabbing Kaito's wrist, pulling off the loosened brace. He studied the wrist, gently moving his un-casted fingers over the curves of the wrist and thumb before replacing the brace, tightening it for Kaito, making sure the wrist was immobile. "When do you see the doctor again?" he asked as Kaito took his hand back.

"Next week, hopefully I'll be able to go without the brace."

"Doubt it," Saguru said, moving his legs from around Kaito, stretching himself. "Kid kept your brace too loose.”

"Dammit." Kaito said, sighing softly before forcing himself to brighten again, folding the blanket that had been covering them. Mentions of Kid brought everything back to Kaito, and while it was easier, in the cold light of morning to look at things rationally and intelligently, there was still an instinctive fear and urge to hide away from his problems until they went away. Those thoughts had tormented Kaito last night, curling around his brain, driving him to flee his empty house and seek comfort with someone. Especially someone who knew what was going on and wouldn't ask questions.

Saguru had been his only option and last night it had seemed like a brilliant idea, but now...now he had to question the wisdom of his choice. Saguru was not only the detective out to uncover every one of his secrets (thought it seemed as if he already knew most of them), but he was also Kid's...consort. The fear and nerves of just what Saguru wanted from him...with him, still plagued him. He had never been so unsure of anything in his life, and it was not a feeling he enjoyed in any form, but he couldn't seem to shake it.

Kaito jerked slightly as a hand touched his shoulder and her turned, looking at Saguru over his shoulder. He realized Saguru had been speaking, trying to get his attention and he coloured slightly, toying with the blanket for a moment before forcing his hands to still. "Sorry, got lost in my thoughts, what was that?"

"I asked if you were hungry?" Saguru questioned, looking curiously at Kaito, wondering what it was that had distracted the boy so much.

"Very much so," Kaito said, smiling. "I didn't have much dinner...fish night."

Saguru returned the smile and stood, giving a final stretch, studiously ignoring the way Kaito's eyes followed his waistband as it dipped down from the movement. "Then I suggest, we venture forth to the kitchen and see what awaits us" he said. "And on the way, I can give you a proper tour that I failed to do last night."

"Sounds adventurous.”Kaito said, laughing slightly. Saguru always made everything seem...different, then what it usually would. He stood, tossing the blanket aside, slipping back on the house scruffs Saguru had offered him the night before. The blond started for a hallway leading Kaito on a longer, more circular route then he had last night, gesturing to the various rooms they passed, pausing when Kaito showed an interest in exploring. They passed the main parlour, where his mother entertained in proper British fashion, past his father's study (a room which Kaito skirted widely, almost tripping Saguru in the process, the detective suspected his father's gun and handcuff collections might have something to do with the action), they ventured further on, Kaito inspecting the art gallery (and Saguru hovering over him), before passing the downstairs toilet, the linen closet, and of course, the doors leading to the servant's stairs.

Finally they made it into the kitchen, where the Hakuba's house keeper was preparing breakfast. Kaito watched in awe as the older woman bustled around the spacious room, seemingly managing twelve tasks at once. Saguru took a seat at the island, his tall body folding easily under the lip, resting his feet on the rungs of the barstool he rested on. He patted the seat next to him, before reaching out and seizing a handful of fresh strawberries from the glass jar in front of him. "Kaito, meet Margret, she's our hous keeper and general minder of all Hakubas. She's also the nanny of people that no longer need nannies. Margret, Kuroba Kaito, school mate."

"A pleasure to meet you," Kaito said, a bit of Kid's manners slipping over as he bowed to the woman before climbing onto the stool, helping himself to one of Saguru's strawberries.

"The pleasure is mine, Kuroba-kun,” Margret said with a smile, sliding glasses fresh orange juice to the boys. "Saguru-boy has told me a great deal about you."

"Oh really?" Kaito asked, raising an eyebrow at Saguru who simply smiled in reply, biting into a strawberry.

"Anyway, Baaya, what's for breakfast?" Saguru asked, leaning on his elbow, his chin resting against his cast. "Please tell me we're having something sweet..."

"You know you can't have sweets this early, and especially not until after your dentist appointment." Margret said, waving a spatula in Saguru's direction. She then turned back to the stove, flipping something inside it while reaching with her other hand, hitting the lever of the toaster, causing four pieces of toast to go flying up into the air. They were deftly caught as Margret turned towards the toaster, grabbing the butter in her other hand before setting to work on buttering the browned pieces of bread.

Kaito watched her go about it before turning to Saguru, raising his eyebrow again. "You know, she's rather scary in her efficiency," he said softly and Saguru nodded.

"Quite."

"Oh, Saguru-boy, the surgeon called, you have an appointment with him this Monday," Margret said, slicing the pieces of toast and putting the halves on two plates, adding scrambled eggs, hash browns, and a nice fruit medley to the plates. She then opened the oven, pulling out two separate pans, sliding a few slices of bacon onto one plate and some small, thin lengths of fish to the other. Kaito made a meeping sound, eying the fish warily up until the point the plate was placed in front of Saguru, letting out a sigh of relief that it wasn't meant for him.

Saguru smiled, reaching across Kaito for the ketchup, popping the cap and adding a bit of the thick red sauce to his hash browns. "Remember, I told Baaya about you, that includes certain...unique characteristics you have."

Kaito seized a lump of eggs, watching it for a moment before looking at Saguru, a hint of a smile on his face, his eyes dancing. "I don't know whether to hit you or thank you," he said, before popping the eggs into his mouth.

Saguru laughed and dug into his own breakfast, enjoying the companionable silence the boys were now sharing as they satisfied their growling stomaches, watching as Margret bustled around, cleaning up and snagging a few bites of her own breakfast.

"So," Kaito ventured after a few moments, absently pushing his fruit around his plate, occasionally stabbing a piece with a chopstick before returning to making abstract patterns with the syrup. "You're having surgery?" he ventured, wondering if it was too personal a question or not. The new level of their friendship made him uncertain on what was approachable and what wasn't.

"Mm," Saguru said, which was neither a yes or a no, but the only answer he could give with his mouthful. He swallowed, taking a drink of his juice before shrugging. "I do not know yet. It's a consultation about my wrist," he said, gesturing with his chopsticks to the cast before carefully breaking apart a new piece of the fish.

Kaito glanced at Saguru's wrist and swallowed thickly, a piece of bacon getting stuck in his throat. It was because of him, that Saguru had that cast. That Saguru was facing possible surgery. Okay so maybe not him, per say, but something inside him. Someone else, inside him. He wanted to apologize, to find a way to make it better, but he couldn't think of the words that would make everything alright.

Saguru watched the emotions that flickered through Kaito's eyes, faster then he could follow, and he frowned, reaching out and taking Kaito's empty hand, giving it a squeeze, distracting the other teen from his over working brain. "It's okay," he said softly, smiling at Kaito. "I promise, it's okay."

"But it's not," Kaito said softly, staring at his plate, though squeezing Saguru's hand tightly. "He...he did that to you, he put you in the hospital and who knows what else he's done. I'm...it scares me, Saguru. I never wanted to hurt anyone, not since...not since a long time ago. To think that...inside me, using me..."

"Kaito, hush," Saguru said softly, switching his casted hand to hold Kaito's, his healthy hand reaching up to stroke Kaito's hair. He glanced at Margret who tilted her head before nodding to Saguru's silent question, allowing the boy to speak without fear of someone else finding out about the conversation. Margret was loyal to the Hakubas but her loyalty to her young master was beyond anything else. His secrets were hers to keep no matter the situation. "What Kid has done, is doing or will do has no reflection on you, Kaito. You may have once been held accountable for his actions but not any longer. They are his crimes. I don't blame you for what he did to me, nor do I blame him, given the situation it occurred in."

"What do you mean, situation?" Kaito asked, focusing on that art of Saguru's words, the rest left to be examined later, though the first glance at them was relaxing Kaito, allowing his muscles to unclench and mind to stop whirling around like a hamster on speed.

"Well, I see it this way," Saguru said, finally seizing the piece of fish he had broke free of the whole, swirling it lightly in the air as he used his hand to gesture. "The attack upon my person, the only attack we know that Kid has actually performed occurred rather close to your and his separation. It must have been rather hard for him, to suddenly be thrust into the world. Such shocks generally upset a person's mental balance. I believe that Kid was reacting, instead of acting," he at the piece of fish he had been waving around, allowing Kaito to digest what he said.

"I spent a lot of time thinking about the events of that night while in the hospital," Saguru said softly, slowly tearing apart a piece of toast, watching as the crumbs and bits of bread fell onto his plate. "The Kid I met that night was...empty. There was nothing inside him. It was almost robotic, the way he acted. That's what first tickled my mind that something was very wrong. I'm used to looking into your eyes...his eyes, and seeing something looking back at me." He turned towards Kaito, who was staring at his own plate, eyes squeezed shut tightly. Reaching out, Saguru curled a finger under Kaito's chin, turning the other teen's face towards his, simply staring until Kaito's eyes slowly opened, blinking up at him. Saguru's thumb slipped up, brushing the skin just under Kaito's left eye. "What I see in your eyes, what I see in his eyes, the soul in those sapphire depths...it was missing. And that's why I can't blame you, nor him. Because he wasn't even there, the night my wrist was broken."

Kaito swallowed, his heart giving a jump as he stared up into Saguru's eyes, listening to the words the detective spoke, wondering what it all meant, and what Saguru meant by them. He wished, more then anything, that he could just...that he could speak to HIM. That he could talk with the thief that stole his face and figure this all out. That he could stop being terrified of himself.

"I..." Kaito started and coughed, lowering his gaze from Saguru's, unable to speak with those eyes staring at him. "I need a shower," he whispered, grasping at the first thing that came to him, setting his chopsticks aside and pushing his plate away.

Saguru nodded, releasing Kaito's chin, reaching for his orange juice. "Do you want me to show you where it is?" he asked before taking a sip, turning his gaze away from Kaito.

Kaito shook his head, sliding off the barstool. "I'm sure I can find it, if you don't mind me wondering around your house unescorted."

"It's fine," Saguru said with a small smile. "I have some extra clothes in my bedroom that might fit you if you want them, they should be in my dresser."

Kaito nodded and left the kitchen, his walk slow, hunched slightly, already lost to his own thoughts. Saguru watched him go from the corner of his eye before sighing, resting his chin on his hand again, absently picking at the rest of his fish. Margret watched him for a long, silent moment before moving, grabbing Kaito's plate and glass. "So you have discovered the face behind the smiling mask?"

"Quite," Saguru said, setting aside his chopsticks, pushing his plate towards the older woman, sipping his juice. "And all my theories were both correct, and very much wrong," he said, watching the orange coloured liquid in his glass. “Baaya, how do you know when you're in love?"

Margret paused in her scraping of Kaito's plate, turning the question over in her mind before giving a slight shrug. "It is different for everyone, Saguru-boy." She set the scrapedplate in the sink and leaned against it, turning so that she faced Saguru. "For me, it was when I knew that I could never imagine my life without Gregory in it. I know it sounds stupidly romantic, but it's true. He became my world. So long as he was by my side, I knew that I could endure anything, that I would have the strength to continue on no matter what faced us. And I knew, that no matter what we said to each other, or how many harsh words were passed, in the end, there was still us."

Saguru smiled softly, picturing the man that had been like a grandfather to him. He had only known Gregory Oldham for a handful of years, the elderly gentlemen having passed away when Saguru was five years old, but the memories Gregory had instilled in him left him fully believing what Margret said. He then frowned, staring at the counter, clutching his juice between both of his hands. "But, Baaya, what if...there are social disapproval with the relationship?"

"This isn't about the fact he's a boy, is it?" Margret said with a frown, turning back towards the sink and running the water, soaping up a sponge to begin the dishes. "I thought you came to terms with your sexuality years ago...or was that another little blond boy I found getting his first kiss with the gardener?"

Saguru blushed, coughing and trying to hide his embarrassment. "It's not that, Baaya. I'm completely comfortable being gay. It's more..." he coughed again, struggling to focus and find the words to put to the situation. "He's not exactly the most...acceptable of gentlemen."

"Ah," she said, smiling softly, giving Saguru a wink. "I did wonder why we spent more time flying across oceans then we did studying your Latin homework. So you think you might possibly have...romantic feelings for your little thief?"

"I might," Saguru said, blushing again, though a soft smile played over his lips as he thought of Kid. He didn't want to admit to it, to even really think of the possibility that he might have feelings of a stronger nature then simple teenage lust. But the fact were hard to ignore, especially every time he looked at Kaito's smiling face and he felt his heart give a flip.

"Saguru, my sweet boy," Margret said, smiling as she turned away from the dishes, drying off her hands before reaching out, gently touching Saguru's cheek, giving it the gentlest of pats. "Your heart knows no boundaries, don't let your mind cloud it with reason and limits. Love is a wonderful and glorious thing and should never be hampered. The same things I told you when you were thirteen stand now. Follow where your heart leads, never doubt it and never ignore it." She leaned over the counter, placing a kiss on Saguru's nose.

Saguru smiled, taking the words to heart as he did when he was younger. He had known Margret would understand, after all, when she had married her husband at seventeen, Gregory had been forty and already divorced. She had endured a lot, to be with him, and never let anyone, not even herself, tell her what was right or wrong.

"He means so much to me, Baaya. I don't know how or why or when...but...I know that it destroyed something in me to return to London after our first visit. To wake up, go to school, and not have him there..."

Margret slowed in the washing of the dishes, tilting her head towards Saguru as if that would help her to hear his words better. It was unusual, to hear him speak of someone in such a loving, awed tone. None of his other relationships had coloured his voice in such a manner, discussions of them had always been cool and collected, as in everything Saguru did. But this boy, this Kaito, had changed something inside her Saguru and it made her heart swell, to think of her baby boy, growing up and truly falling in love.

She rinsed the last dish, setting it in the rack to dry before turning and leaning on the island, sliding a cigarette from the pack resting by the fruit bowl, allowing Saguru to light it for her. "Then go after him, and never leave him again." She said with a smile. The pair went silent, enjoying each other's companionship, Saguru absently playing with the curls of smoke that drifted up from the cigarette. After a moment of silent though, Margret tapped some ashes into the crystal ashtray before catching Saguru's eye again. "From what I gather, something is going on with our dear lovebird," she said, raising an eyebrow in question.

Saguru nodded, abandoning childish play for the adult thoughts the statement brought. "He is...unwell, at the moment. And due to his peculiar circumstances, traditional methods of help are unavailable. I am unsure how to proceed."

Margret was silent, taking a thoughtful drag from the cigarette before clenching it between her teeth, moving around the island and out of the kitchen. Saguru watched her go, confused, about to get up and follow when the woman returned, carrying a large black binder he recognized as one of his father's set of research notes.

Margret set the binder on the island, setting her cigarette in the ashtray before opening the top of the binder, flipping through tabs quickly before finally stopping at a large set of notes. Saguru tilted his head, trying to read them before finally sliding off the barstool and moving around the island, standing next to Margret as he quickly scanned the first page. "Mental Illness and the Criminal Psyche?" he queried, looking up at Margret.

"Yes, your father spent two years studying Criminal Psychology at Saint Andrews a few years ago, this was when you were away at that school in France. Anyway, he was fascinated with the subject and did quite a bit of research on it and on various mental afflictions and what role they played in the criminal mind." She gave Saguru a half smile, winking at him. "I believe you yourself focus on it, given your catch phrase."

"Mm, I do at that. But then again, the mind in general fascinates me. Our reasons for our actions, our responses, our.."

"Yes, yes, I've heard the research many times," she said, waving him off. "Now, your father never studied any one illness in depth, at least, not to the level you would need, but he did perform meticulous research, and had contact with hundreds of experts in many fields of study," she said, flipping through the pages again before resting on one, her finger scanning down the page, eyes moving rapidly as she searched for what she needed before finally stopping on a name. "And one of those experts was in the field of Multiple Personality Syndrome and it's related diseases."She pushed the binder towards Saguru, finger still resting on the name. "And he just happens to reside in Tokyo," she added.

Saguru stared down at the page, wondering if the name printed so neatly in black and white would have the answers he and Kaito so desperately needed.