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Chapter Fifteen: Letters from Oblivion

In a man's letters his soul lies naked. Samuel Johnson

Kid-

What am I supposed to write to you? I feel so...why did you have to show up? Things were fine without you and now suddenly my life is turned upside down! I don't need a protector, I don't need anyone...I just want my old life back.

You said in your letter you love me, but...you don't even know me. If you loved me, you wouldn't be trying to take everything that's good in my life, my boyfriend, my friends...my life. How could you love me, and try to take everything from me?

I...I want you out of my head. I can't do this, I can't handle this.

Go away.

Kaito

--

Kaito-

Trust me when I say I would do anything in my power to grand you your wishes, my heart, but I can't, any more then you could vanish yourself away at another's request. I would do anything to take away the pain I cause you, please, my heart, believe me in that.

And I do love you, Kaito. You are my genesis, my beginning, the better part of everything I am. I am merely your shadow, the echo. My only role in your life, in any life is as your protection (and you do need my protection, Mr. Run Into Things Half Cocked Without Thought).

I know, that it's hard right now, my heart. I know that my very presence is tearing you apart, but please, I just want to help you. Do not think of it as losing something, but gaining something...someone. I know you better then anyone, better then even yourself, this could be an incredible relationship...if only you'll let me in.

Take care, my heart,

Kid

--

Kid-

How can you say that? That you want to help me, that you want to protect me, when the one I need the most protection from right now is you?

You are taking things from me, my friends, Saguru, even my life's goal. How...how can I trust you, when you hurt me so much?

Kaito

My heart-

I'm not taking those things intentionally. Saguru was...is...it's just sex, Kaito. What Saguru may or may not feel for me is not of my concern. I told him the ground rules when this dance started, and he's to blame if he developed anything beyond lust. Honestly, I would be happier if he simply loved you. It's a waste of emotion to care for me and you are far more deserving of his love.

I am in no way shape or form taking your friends, for they are yours. I have little interest in Aoko or Keiko, and you are not close to what is mine. Yes, I partake of their company, but trust me when I say that you are free to keep them as you will. The only reason that Aoko is pulling away from you is because of our profession. She can't accept it and that is understandable. I am sure, my heart, that if you give her time, she will come around. Be patient, as difficult as that is. I would try talking to her for you, but she keeps swinging that annoying mop at me.

Enjoy your date with Saguru-chan, I hear the park is lovely in the summer and Margret is a wonderful cook. Just don't do anything I would do! wink

Kid

--

You prat-

I can't believe you told Saguru that! I have never been so embarrassed in my life when he told me! I swear, I have no idea how someone so slutty came from my brain. Is sex all you think about? Well, besides theft of course, which reminds me, what possessed you to steal Ran-san's underwear?! I'm glad I'm so used to Aoko that I was able to dodge Conan's damn soccer balls. Someone really must keep him away from the sporting goods aisles.

I returned all of her underwear, anonymously of course, though she did blush rather nicely when she opened the package, in front of her father, which was just an added bonus. ...Okay, so it was a riot, but still, no more underwear, please.

I found your notes for the July fourth heist, you have entirely too much time on your hands if you're attempting to steal gems related to a holiday that has nothing to do with our culture...but it might be worth it just to see Nakamori blow a vein trying to figure everything out. Do you really think we...I..you...whatever can pull off three heists in one night? They're not even close to each other, location wise...

Kaito

--

My darling little one-

Of course we can! For we are Kaitou Kid and nothing is beyond our reach. I already have the route plotted out, a few hops and hopefully a good breeze and we should get them done before dawn, provided our dearest rivals don't cause too much of difficulty.

Mm, speaking of, I have to come up with a little...show to perform for our tiniest of tantei's. We really must do something to take him down a peg or three, he's getting entirely too big for his britches. I have taken care of him for the fourth at least, Ms. Yoshida is hosting a slumber party for the DB. Well, she will be, as soon as the idea is planted into her pretty little head. Such an adorable child.

Ta for now, Akako is attempting to read over my shoulder.

Kid

--

Pervert-

Please tell me you are not stalking the DB. That's just a whole new level of creepy. Security was bumped up around the white, apparently the little rich boy got an inkling that it might be a good idea to cover his bases as we got more active. I have the new security plans, but I have a feeling that they'll change the moment we make a new plan, the kid seems to be annoyingly bright, (no where near our level, though).

Kaito

--

My heart-

I do not 'stalk', I observe, and your insinuations are completely disgusting.

I have looked at the plans, but you are right, they have changed (again), I fear we might have to select a new white, it's taking too long to formulate a plan for this one. Pity though, it is a rather nice sized diamond.

Kid

--

Kid-

He called your name tonight, while we were sleeping.

I hate you so fucking much.

K.

--

My heart-

I am sorry.

Kid

--

Kid-

I don't want to hear it.

Kaito

--

Kaito-

Please speak with me...

Kid

--

So I think we should head north for the blue, then swing east for the red, the train heads that way and if we time it right we can pull a ride, then head south for the white, leaving us enough time to get through the new security..

Kaito

--

My heart-

I don't mean business, Kaito. I said I was sorry.

Kid

--

I think I found a work around for the security problem. As advanced as the new system is around the white, there's still a small flaw on the east wing of the house. It's on the back side, apparently rich boy didn't think we knew where the backyard is, I think if we work it just right, we can slip in with minimal fuss.

Kaito

--

My heart-

Kaito...

Kid

--

HE SAID YOUR NAME, CALLED IT OUT IN HIS SLEEP, CLEAR AS DAY! PROBABLY THINKS OF YOU AS WE'RE MAKING OUT AS WELL. I CAN'T BELIVE...I can't believe I'm jealous of someone that lives in my head.

How...I hate you. I hate you. Gods, it hurts so much and I can't even scream at you face to face.

Why couldn't you fall in lust with someone else?

Kaito

--

My heart-

Have you seen our sweet Saguru-chan? How could you ask me to desire anyone else? Besides, my heart, as much as we are separate...our desires are the same, and as such...besides, he has a nice ass.

A very...very nice ass. You should have seen him tonight, my heart. I have never seen a pair of slack that better cupped two perfect globes, highlighting them for one's perusal. Fuck, my heart, I have to get the security tapes for you to see, you will have never seen something like it.

I can't wait until Saguru-chan caves and takes you. So much better then any other toy we have had. He's so big, my heart, long and thick. Every horse joke whispered about in the locker room came no where near to the reality of having him inside you. Gods, my heart, he feels soo good, inside you, he reaches so deep, driving you insane.

And his taste...the sweetest ambrosia wrapped in a heavy package, thick as it slides along you tounge, so deep and full.

Gods, I have never bottomed for one of our toys as much as I have him. He makes me beg.

And a tip, my sweet, call him a slut. The effect is amusing as hell, his entire brain shuts down until he's a whimpering, needy thing. It's especially amusing if you whisper it in his ear during a meeting or other time in which he cannot easily escape. He will whimper and glare so prettily. I spent an entire dinner with his family, teasing him with the word...god he was so angry, so rough, incredible.

Mm, and do visit him in costume. He seems to have a fetish, for our uniform. Well, except the hat which he despises for some reason.

Trust me, my heart, once he gives in you will never want another. Though, until then, I think you might visit one of our toys, you need a release, my angel.

Kid

--

Kid-

You are a fucking evil, sadistic bastard. Do you know how many times I read your letter and had to hide away in my bedroom? Mum thinks I'm sick!

And I'm not visiting one of the others just to get off. I can wait for Saguru to get off his high horse...or should I say off you, considering how many times you seem to be fucking him.

Seriously though, how did such a whore come from my head? I'm surprised you get anything done, since all you seem to think about is Saguru's dick.

Kaito

--

My heart-

It's a nice dick.

But I do think of other things, my love. Such as you. Do you know how many nights I have laid nude in our bed, watching our body in the mirror, studying each expression, each pretty little gasp and moan.

I wonder, my sweet, would you look that beautiful, as my hands stroked your body? Would you sound the same, as we did when I was looking out from behind your eyes?

I wish I knew, my angel, what it would be like, to hold you in my arms, to kiss your trembling lips and caress your sweet body as you whimper into my mouth.

You are so beautiful, so pure. I wish I could come even close to being worthy enough to hold you, let alone spend eternity in your arms, our bodies joining. I can't believe how blessed I am, able to share your body, your mind.

Kid

--

Kid-

Why do you say such things? You act as if I am a god, descended from the heavens.

Kaito

--

My heart-

I have told you before, my sweet, you are everything to me. My love, my desire, my reason, my...world. Without you I am nothing, a mere shadow and illusion, you give me life.

I love you.

Kid

--

...why?

--

My heart-

Because you are perfection. Smart, beautiful, witty, wicked...you are...perfect.

Kid

--

Kid-

I..I'm sorry. For before.

Kaito

--

My heart-

Do not worry, my dearest one. I understand that it is hard, facing your world changing around you. I would never hold you anger against you, for you are entitled to it. Please, my love, never hold back your anger from me. I am strong enough to endure it, and willingly will if it would make you feel better. I only wish that I could offer you my flesh, so that you could bruise it, tear it, appease yourself in my pain.

Never hide your feelings or thoughts from me, no matter how painful you think they may be for me, how hurtful. I need desperately to hear them, please, my sweet.

I promise, nothing you ever say to me, will be held against you.

Kid

--

Kid-

I...what are you?

Kaito

--

My love-

What do you mean, my sweet?

Kid

--

Kid-

What are you to me? You speak as a lover and yet I've never even seen your face. You...what are you, please tell me.

Kaito

--

My love-

I am whatever you wish me to be. Your lover, your friend, your brother, you shadow, your illusion. It is all your choice as to who I am, my angel.

Kid

--

Kid-

I guess you are my family. But...my heart tells me that title is wrong. I...you know me, every detail, every mole, every scar, every painful, bitter memory. You...you're closer then any lover could be. I can feel you sometimes, when the night is quiet, tucked away in a corner of my mind, curled around me...

So what do I call you? I'm still so lost, my brother, my lover...my...friend.

Kaito

--

My heart-

I...I stared at your note for hours last night, unable to believe what you wrote. Do you remember the first moment your heart exploded? That first instance your love for someone over flowed, shattering every boundary of the physical body?

I can't believe how much our relationship has changed in just a month.

Kaito, my love, my heart...

I...

--

Kid-

You never finished your letter...it made me smile, to see the smooth, charming Kid at a loss. Thank you.

I have the final plans for the heist, I'll leave them in the cubby hole for you to look over again.

Kaito

TBC