Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto

Modern Naruto

by WaterDemon918 1 review

So unoriginal, and yet...

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Gaara,Hinata,Kiba,Naruto,Temari - Warnings: [?] - Published: 2008-06-22 - Updated: 2008-06-22 - 1908 words

*WD918: It’s been done more times than I can count, but I’m gonna do it again ANYWAY!

Kiba: She just says that ‘cause she has no originality.

WD918: Well, Kiba, maybe I should make you a flaming gay, then you can comment on my originality!


WD918: Just do the disclaimer, and I’ll forgive you.

Kiba: WaterDemon918 owns NOTHING! NOTHING, I SAY!!!!*

Sorry for the stupidity, here’s the story. P.S. See if you can understand the not-so-subtle cameo!

“Oi, Mitch….Mitch….FUCKING SISTER!”

The sound of a gun cocking warns me I should get up. Leaping out of bed, I fall face down on the floor, right at my brother’s feet.

“I realize I’m the ultimate lord and master, but I don’t believe you have time for groveling, since you’re going to be late for school,” my brother snickers, resting his pistol on his shoulder.

“Dammit, Ichi-Nii…wait, WHAT?!” I don’t bother acknowledging whatever he replied, because I quickly throw on some random clothes, tie up my hair, and run out the door. It’s my first day of school, and I never make a good impression. Running at top speed, I think about my new school. I’m a couple years younger than my brother, who’s in his third year of high school. Just starting, I want to make sure I have a clean slate, so I decided against going to my brother’s school. Panting, I realize that this school is still within his jurisdiction, but I don’t care, I like my brother being so protective.

Arriving at the school, I make a beeline for my class. I nearly killed a few people still loitering in the halls; one in particular was a red-head, who looked blank-faced. I mean no emotion at all. His face stuck in my head as I slid into the classroom just as the bell rang.

One thing I advise: never be the last one to class. All the seats suck. I got stuck with some punk behind me, a pink-haired prep beside, a geek in front, and a blonde dumbass to the other side. The punk and the dumbass were joking around as the first teacher of the day walked in.

“Everyone, shut up and sit down!” she roared menacingly at the class. Small and proud was the only way to describe her. Her black hair was tied back in a high ponytail, and her boobs were bigger than one would expect. “I’m your English teacher. My name is Anko-Sensei,” she stressed the honorific, “I don’t like you, you don’t like me, get over it.” With that, she launched into the lesson. Our first assignment, introduce ourselves in English. She went down the rows, when Pinkie, as I had dubbed her, stood I actually began to listen. Her English was schoolbook-type. No slang or customary idioms.

“My name is Sakura Haruno. I am fifteen years old. I like cute things. I hope we can be friends.”

“Yeah, I hope we can be friends too,” the punk whispered pervishly to the blonde, who snickered.

Ignoring them, I decided Pinkie was in need of a good old fashioned liberation. She was quite the teacher’s pet. Anko-Sensei thought so too.

“Very good,” she said, scribbling a grade, or notes, or whatever, “but a bit standard. Try to learn to use the language the way you use Japanese, fluidly.” A few more people went before the geek, but I didn’t pay attention to him either. Next it was my turn. Standing, I announced:

“The name is Mitch Hiruma. Don’t call me ‘Hiruma-San,’ that is my brother. I like a lot, dislike a lot, and as far as I’m concerned, I am the one person you never tick off.” I sat back down. I think some people were frightened. So much for a clean slate.

“Good flowing use of the language, try less sarcasm and you might get a better grade,” Anko-Sensei murmured, scribbling away. Those were definitely notes. Punk was up next. I realized that he had red triangle tattoos on his cheeks. I’m surprised they allowed that, while this is a relaxed school (no uniforms, thank god), I didn’t think they were that lenient.

“My name is Kiba Inunozuka, and I,” he paused dramatically, “am the unyielding lord and master! You shall all bow before me!” I couldn’t wait for the moron to meet my brother. Anko-Sensei peered at him skeptically. I didn’t listen to her review, because I was wondering how to set it up so that I could have him and Ichi-Nii meet. After awhile it was the dumbass’s turn.

“My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I am going to become the Prime Minister!” I nearly died. I don’t think he knows what that job entailed exactly, but I can see how he and Inunozuka get along. They both even have cheek tattoos! (Naruto’s are whiskers!) Anko-Sensei looks as if she’s asking the gods why she ended up with all the weirdoes first thing in the morning. I personally feel sorry for her.

Grinning at the remnants of my spaz attack, I refocused on what the next person said. She was tall and chesty, with sandy hair in four ponytails. She reminded me slightly of the red-head I’d seen earlier. She looked cool.

“I’m Temari Subaku. I wish to remind everyone that in real life, silence is consent.” Odd, I always thought it was obedience. That must come from my raising, though. Shifting happily, I realized I might get a friend after all. The rest of Class 1-D announced their existences to the rest of the class. The only other one that caught my attention was a shy navy-haired girl with beautiful lavender eyes. She spoke quietly.

“M-m-my name i-is Hinata H-h-hyuuga, nice to m-m-m-meet you.” She sat down quickly. I like her too.

The rest of the morning passes quickly, from Anko-Sensei to a black-haired woman with blood red eyes named Kurenai-Sensei, followed by a man with most of his face covered, a kind black eye, and white hair known as Kakashi-Sensei.

At lunch time, I sauntered over to Hinata. When she noticed me, she cowered in her chair. I grinned widely, showing off my mildly sharp teeth.

I look a little like my brother. Same body type (minus the hints of boobs on his part), and similar features like teeth, ears, and personality. The difference is I’m milder. My ears, while pointy, are not so long. My teeth, while scary, are not so sharp. And my personality, while dominating, is not so violent. I also have the same shade of black haire Hiruma had before he dyed it. Hinata did not know my brother, so I was evil incarnate to her.

“Sorry if I scared you, I actually wanted to ask you something!” I stood next to her chair, I have personal space issues, I guess.
“W-w-w-what?” She stuttered, frightened.

“Will you be my friend?” I asked innocently. Hinata was dumbfounded.

“Um, s-sure?”

“Yay!” I cheered happily. “I should reintroduce myself. I’m Mitch!” After that, we hit it off. By the end of lunch I had my first best friend who wasn’t related to me.

Next we had the mandatory gym class. I dreaded this. Unlike my brother, I didn’t have a natural inclination towards sports. Plus, the teacher was creepy. He had a bowl-cut hairstyle and a green spandex suit that revealed more than I ever needed to see. As an added bonus, he was overly obsessed with ‘youth’ and ‘youthfulness’. I would have to get Ichi-Nii to check him out, if he hadn’t already.

Clinging to Hinata, I faked fear. “Ne, Hina-Chaan, our teacher’s creepy!” I wailed softly, hiding my face against her arm. Amazingly, she was only a few inches shorter than me. She giggled.

“Well, I’m sure the spandex doesn’t help, Mitchie-chan.” She had decided Mitch sounded too butch, so we compromised on ‘Mitchie’. “Just don’t picture him in his underwear, and you’ll be fine!” she teased, knowing I was a very visual person.

As I writhed in pain from the images in my mind, our teacher, Gai-Sensei, ordered a hundred laps on the track. I found that to be undeniable proof of his insanity. Hinata paled, she wasn’t athletic either, and hadn’t been shot at on a semi regular basis, so she was not as ‘in shape’ as I. I jogged next to her anyways. We talked and gossiped our way through gym, and I learned that Hina had a huge crush on Naruto. I found out when he and Kiba overlapped us, and slowed down to chat. Hina turned a strawberry red color, and I grinned evilly.

“Hey Hinata-Chan! What’s up?” Naruto grinned at her brightly. He had no idea.

“N-n-n-n-not m-m-m-m-much,” Hina stuttered out, trying desperately not to faint. Luckily, she succeeded. Kiba looked from her to me. To him, it seemed like Hina was dying from the running, whereas I wasn’t breaking a sweat.

“Hey, Mitch-San,” he spoke to me cautiously, which both pleased and irritated me. I was pleased I’d be able to keep trouble at bay, but unhappy that I still wouldn’t have many friends. I hoped it wouldn’t stay like this, even if he was a moron. I am naturally sociable. “I was wondering, is your brother THE Hiruma Youichi?” He seemed genuinely curious, not frightened at all.

“What if he is?” I asked, not wanting to chase away a potential friend, but still sounding cold. I was wary of my brother’s reputation.

“Nothin’, I was just wondering,” he replied lackadaisically, smiling a secret smile. Suddenly I realized I’d speeded up subconsciously. I slowed, waiting for Hina and Naru (as I’d decided to call him). Kiba slowed as well, staying in pace with me. Hina and Naru caught up, and we finished our 50 laps just in time for class to end (the guys finished the full 100, ‘cause they’d been racing). The day ended on a happy note after our final two periods with Iruka-Sensei, who taught Math and History.

At the end of the day Hina and I headed separate ways, since her house was on the rich side of town, whereas mine was a bootlegged hotel room from some hotel where Ichi-Nii had dirt on everyone. I never actually told anyone that.

When I got home, I began preparing the evening meal for myself and Ichi-Nii. I like to keep him out of the kitchen as much as possible. Let’s just say, everything has bullet holes from Nii-San’s last attempt at cooking. I clean, too. Not ‘cause Nii-san makes me, but ‘cause I just want to make his life that much easier. I hope he doesn’t freak when he finds out about the Gym teacher, though. But, then again, maybe I do.

*Mitch: I don’t think you know what ‘cameo’ means.

WD918: Yes I do!

Mitch: O rly? Then why does almost my entire life revolve around my brother? That’s not cameo!

WD918: O fine, whatever. Could you do the R&R for me?

Mitch: Please Rate & Review; she’s insecure about her work as it is.

WD918: Hey!*
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