Categories > Books > Harry Potter
In the Christmas holidays Draco discovers a fellow student held captive in his home.
-1Cliche
Reviews
The Visitor
(#) red_jacobson 2008-06-25
I'll start this review by admitting that I did not read Deathly Hallows, I was so disgusted by what I was able to read of Half-Blood Prince that I didn't bother with reading the last book.
That being said, it seems that you were trying to say something about Draco's state of mind, but nothing really seemed to happen, there was a couple of brief conversations, but the characters didn't seem to change as a result of their interactions.
If you were going to continue this, I could see it being the springboard for Draco to develop something akin to a backbone, maybe try and break away from his father and Riddle, I don't know if he would succeed, but the fact that he would develop enough to try would say something interesting about the character.
RedAuthor's response
The fic was written for a Deathly Hallows missing moment challenge. As such, it represents something we didn't see in the novel - Luna's capture and what Draco's reaction to that might be.
It's supposed to be a character piece, rather than plotty.
And it's probably difficult for someone disgusted by HBP to like something written by someone who adored the last two books. Incompatible, if you will :)
Thanks for reading.The Visitor
(#) red_jacobson 2008-06-25
Thanks for responding, and knowing that it was part of the missing moments challenge helps the story make a lot more sense.
Just a suggestion, if you were to put that in the Author's Notes at the beginning of the story, it would help the readers understand what you were trying to accomplish, and thus, enjoy the story more. Just a thought.
By the way, on a technical writing level, it was a good job.
red
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