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8. To Hunt

Sleep didn’t come at first. After I had slipped into the soft bed I couldn’t stop my mind from going over the strange way everyone had been acting. First was Jim. Before he had disappeared and left me on the ship, he was very helpful to me and he was all smiles and laughs—at least he was before he found out I was a woman. And the whole time he was praising his Miss Sandra Cox, but when he finally had the chance to talk to her he just sat and stared. And it wasn’t even an awed stare; no, it was just a dead stare—like he was analyzing a rock. For the rest of the night he didn’t even say another word to me.

Second, was Manheim. Why in the world did he have to be here of all places? Didn’t Nicholas know what Manheim did for a living? What were those looks he kept giving me? And what did that sinking feeling mean? Why did he talk to me so much during dinner and then was so neglectful afterwards? The one thing I had observed was that Manheim tried to keep Nicholas away from (or at least not alone with) any one of the ladies during the course of the evening.

And then there was Nicholas. What was up with him?! Coming to my room like that and asking all those weird questions about me and Manheim—there was definitely something going on that I didn’t know about.

But then it occurred to me that because I had just barely arrived at Harington, the matter could hardly have anything to do with me. I then fell into a slightly uncomfortable sleep.

*

The sun was barely shining above the trees when I stretched out the sleepiness from my limbs. My body wasn’t so sore today. It seemed as though my body hadn’t had a day’s rest from some kind of beating for a long while. I took my time trying to put on the layers of clothes Diana had left the night before. After a half hour I had finally achieved in making it look right, at least to me. (The whites were underneath and the pale yellow dress was on top—anymore complicated and it would be a hopeless cause.) I put my hair back in a ponytail and decided to go take a look around. The door opened with a screech and I looked out.

Silence.

I shut my door behind me and strolled quietly down the hall, admiring the paintings that hung in several places. A soft thudding noise came from behind me and I turned to see the fat calico rounding a corner sharply. It sprinted in my direction and dashed past me. I watched it race down the hallway and duck through an open doorway.

“Come back, little kitten!” I spun around just before a small girl ran into my leg. She toppled to the floor. “Ouch!”

“Are you alright?” I picked her up under her arms and set her on her feet. She stared fearfully at me, unable to say a word. I patted out the wrinkles in her dress while I shook my head.

“You shouldn’t run around corners so fast. It’s very dangerous you know.”

“I’m so s-sorry . . .” was all she managed to get out.

“And you really shouldn’t chase cats. They don’t like that.”

“Oh! You won’t tell Mrs. Sullivan, will you?” she cried.

“Of course not. But you don’t need to be so afraid, it’s not like you were doing anything bad.” She lowered her head as if I had just scolded her. I sighed and knelt next her. “What’s your name?”

“Alice. Alice Blaine.” She whispered.

“Blaine? So are you Anthony’s little sister?” Her head popped up at the mention of Anthony.

“Yes! Do you know him?”

“Yes, a little bit. We met yesterday.”

“Oh!” A large smile jumped onto her face. “Are you Miss Russel?”

“Yes, I am. How did you know?”

“Anthony told us—oh! Anthony!” Alice darted past me. I stood and watched her run to Anthony who had just come from the same direction that Alice had.

“There you are Alice! We’ve been searching everywhere for you. What have you been—Miss Russel!” Anthony said as he glanced up. “What are you doing up so early?”

“What do you mean? Isn’t everyone else up already?”

“No. The gentlemen went to bed very late and the ladies won’t be out for hours.”

“Then what about you?”

“Mother sent me up to bed early. But we wanted to have Alice’s party before the others woke.”

“Party? What’s it for?”

“It’s my birthday!” Alice jumped up and down excitedly. “Would you like to come? We’re going to play games and we were even able to have the cook make a cake just for us!”

“I’d love to come! Lead the way.” I smiled brightly and Alice skipped towards the nursery. Anthony walked next to me.

“Thank you so very much,” he said shyly. “You really aren’t obliged to do anything for my sister.”

“Of course not. I’m coming because I want to come. Kids are a lot more fun than grown ups are.” I kept my face forward while I stole a peek at Anthony. His head was bent unhappily. I smiled slyly.

“And if you’re thinking that I’m implying that you’re a kid, you thought right. Though, I included myself in that category, as well.”

He shook his head and laughed.

“You always manage to say the unexpected.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it? It means that you won’t be bored with me around.”

Alice was waiting excitedly in front of the nursery door. Once we stopped next to her she opened the door and shouted,

“Here I am!”

Anthony closed the door quickly behind us so that the shouts and singing that had suddenly erupted from the children in the room wouldn’t awaken anyone. Five children had surrounded Alice in a circle and were skipping around her while singing a birthday song. Anthony’s smile was ear to ear and he laughed as the children finished with a flourish. Hugs and kisses were given once the song had finished. One of the older girls looked up and gasped when she saw me. The others suddenly noticed me as well and became silent. Alice, noticing the sudden stillness came to the front of the group.

“I almost forgot! Everyone, this is Miss Russel!”

The silence was broken by gasps and giggles and sighs of relief.

“Isn’t she pretty? Just like Anthony said!”

I glanced at Anthony. He was blushing furiously and he was glaring at Alice.

“Was Anthony gossiping about me?” I teased. “That wasn’t very nice of him.”

“Oh, no!” Said one girl. “Everything he said was very good! He told us that you are very different from the others and he also said—”

I put my hands up.

“You don’t have to tell me everything. I was just joking and I’m sure Anthony isn’t the type to talk unkindly about people behind their back.” Anthony’s face was redder than the ripest cherry.

Alice then took my hand and told me that introductions needed to be made. She brought me to stand in front of each of them and she said their name. Alice had one other brother who had recently turned ten. His name was Michael. The other four children all belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan. The oldest, Sarah, was thirteen; then Peter, who was twelve; and then two eight-year old twins, Hannah and Catharine. Alice pointed out their old, little nurse, Kathy, who was napping in a corner.

“She’s always taking naps so we can play whenever we want. But today she gave us permission to have a real party for my birthday. Wasn’t that kind of her?”

“Yes it was. So what do you plan to do? Do you have a cake?”

“No.” Alice pouted. Anthony placed a hand on her shoulder.

“We were all too afraid to ask the cook without Lord Bryant’s consent. But we will be able to have extra sweeties brought up for us when the tea comes.”

“And what are you going to do till then?”

“Games!” They all cheered in unison.

It took me a few turns to get accustomed to each game and by the time I was used to one we would move on to the next one. After a while I began to mix the rules of all the games and had become so confused I couldn’t think. Once we had played all the games they could think of they turned to me.

“Do you know any games, Imari?” During the games the children had grown comfortable enough to use my first name.

I thought for a moment.

“Well, there is one . . .”

“Oh! Teach it to us, please!” After a bit of coaxing I was persuaded to teach them the game.

“Okay, so for this game you have to take turns between partners, so first, let’s pair up. It’s good if you have someone close to your height.” Hannah took Michael’s hand instantly, and giggled. Sarah and her brother Peter stood together while Alice latched happily on to Catharine. Anthony stood awkwardly to one side.

“Anthony you can be my partner.” I took his hand and led him to the center of the room. “Now make sure you have plenty of space. Now I’ll demonstrate what to do first and then we’ll all take turns. Okay, Anthony stand here. That’s right.” I went and stood directly behind him. “Anthony, do you trust me?”

“What?” He asked, surprised. He tried to look at me but I pushed his face away.

“No, you can’t look at me. Just answer the question.” The others giggled. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes?”

“Okay, then fall back without bending your knees.”

“But if you’re standing right behind me then we’ll both fall down.”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but—”

“Then do what I say. Fall back.”

Anthony swallowed and the children were watching us anxiously. I secured myself, waiting for him to fall back. He slowly tipped backwards and then lost his balance. He bent his knees to try and break his fall but my arms had caught him under the shoulders before he fell. The others gasped. I looked down at him and smiled.

“You didn’t trust me.” I let go and he hit the ground with a thud. “And that’s how you play the Trust game.” A few giggled and the rest clapped in amusement. The other pairs took turns playing while everyone else watched. Within a few minutes they were all laughing.

“It’s so scary!” Alice said. “I knew she would catch me, but I was so frightened!”

“Now, it’s your turn, Imari. You haven’t done it yet.”

“Oh, no. That’s alright.”

“You can do it! Don’t’ you trust Anthony?”

“Okay,” I said in defeat. I stood in the center of the room and waited for Anthony to place himself behind me.

“Do you trust me, Miss Russel?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Then fall back.” I spread my arms out and fell back—a little too quickly. Anthony tripped and we fell to the ground. Everyone burst out laughing.

“What was that?” I laughed.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to know.” A voice came from the doorway. Jim was standing with his hand on the doorknob, his knuckles turning whiter every second.

The children fell absolutely silent and left me as the only one still laughing. It seemed loud and awkward among the quieted bunch and my giggling died under Jim’s critical gaze. Anthony struggled to remove his legs from under me and I rolled over onto my knees to stand up.

“Can we help you, Jim?” I patted out the wrinkles in the gown and smiled sidelong at Anthony; he was no longer smiling.

“No. Sorry for the intrusion, but I had something that I thought you would care to see, but I see I’ve interrupted something far more important. Good day.” Jim stepped out sharply. I jumped to catch the door before he would shut it and said,

“Wait!”

Jim stopped and slightly turned his head to look down his nose at me.

“What?”

“I’m coming, just give me a second.” Jim folded his arms across his chest and turned away.

Why is he so angry? He’s acting so weird.

I looked back at the solemn group and smiled.

“Sorry, you guys. Don’t be sad okay? Keep playing games while you wait for your tea. I’m going to go with Jim. Have fun.” I softly shut the door behind me and waited for Jim.

“What? Is that all? No good-bye-kiss?” He said bitterly.

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

Jimmy shook his head and sighed. He turned to face me and tried to smile. “I want us to be friends.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“Well, yes, but, I don’t want anything to . . . to come between our friendship.”

“Like what?”

“Things such as—” he glanced back at the door and sighed. “Never mind it. I have something I want you to see that I think you will like. This way.” He pointed down the hallway and started in that direction. I followed curiously behind him. I still couldn’t make out a reason for the way he was acting. I was too afraid to ask what was bothering him because I felt that the reason had something to do with me. It took quite awhile before Jim finally stopped in front of a small, partially hidden door.

“Here it is.” He smiled.

“What is it?”

He only motioned with his head for me to go in. I slowly opened the door and stepped into a large room that extended up for two floors. Every wall was covered in bookshelves except the one opposite the door which had four long windows that went to the ceiling. The shelves were packed with different sizes of books, old and new. Every space was completely filled with some type of work. I stood awed at the size of the library.

“What do you think?” Jim stepped into the room and closed us in.

“It’s awesome! Your dad has so many.”

“Actually, most of them belong to me now.” I looked back at him surprised. “Lord Bryant doesn’t like to come here anymore.”

I furrowed my brows curiously. He stared back, as if trying to decide if he should say something or hold his tongue.

“But this is really amazing!” I said trying to change the topic. “I can see why you love to read when you have all of this around you. I bet you wish you could come here more often but I guess it’s hard to do that when you’re out on a ship all the time.” I was getting nervous so to crowd it out I tried talking. “You know you never told me how you ended up on that ship, not that it’s any of my business and I guess I didn’t tell you much about me either. Well, um, thank you for showing it to me. You probably want your privacy now so I’ll just be going.” I started for the door which Jim blocked with his arm.

“No, it’s quite alright. I have a few things to do and I’d be pleased if you could wait for me here. Will you do that for me?” His voice was sure and not a trace of anxiousness in it. Then why was I about to have a nervous break down?

“Uh-um, s-sure,” I stuttered. He smiled warmly.

“Thank you.”

He took a step back, gave a bow and left. I breathed deeply and held it—trying to stop my speeding heart beat. I smacked my hand against my chest and said,

“Oh, stop it already!”

I turned determinedly to the bookcases and gave myself the boring task of reading every title to clear my mind of Jimmy’s soft voice. I got through about two rows before my eyes started to droop. A fire was blazing in the fireplace and its heat mingled with the heat from the sun, making the room quite warm and relaxing. I slowly found my way to a pair of chairs sitting opposite each other with a table in the middle and plopped down in one. I saw a large book sitting on the tabletop and carefully opened the cover.

It was the family Bible. On the inside cover and cover page were written several names in succession and each had a birth and death date following them. I scrolled down to the last names expecting to find Jim’s but the last names were listed in this basic form:

Lord Fredrick Nicholas Bryant Married to Lady Ester M. Bryant
Children:
Lord Nicholas James Bryant and Lord Fredrick M. Bryant (Twins)

Twins?! Lord Bryant had a twin? The fact seemed very strange and eerie to me. There were no birth or death dates next to any of the more recent names which was just as strange to me; but I had discovered that even though Nicholas seemed not to like his son, he had given him part of his name. That counted for something, right?

A high whistle came from one of the windows making me jump. I looked over to it and saw a birdcage that was draped in a velvet covering. I gently placed the book back on the table without closing it and went eagerly to the cage. I slowly removed the drapery, uncovering a large, golden cage with a small, bright yellow bird. My heart swelled a bit at seeing something so happy. It jumped about the enclosure excitedly, tweeting and chirping with each bounce. I smiled brightly and whistled back a short, happy tune. A small box sat on the shelf next to the cage and I opened it. Inside was a collection of tiny seeds. I pinched a bit of the assortment and sprinkled it down on the bird. It pecked hungrily at the seeds and was silent. After setting the box back in its place I let out a long yawn and found my way back to the softness of the chair. It was big enough for me to pull my feet under me and I rested my head on the cushion. I drifted slowly into a dreamless sleep.

*


The sun cast long shadows through the windows signaling that the end of the day way near. I drowsily blinked my eyes and tried to focus my vision. In the chair opposite me I could make out a silhouette. I saw a pair of eyes watching me over a pair of folded hands. I shot up like a rocket when I saw that it was Captain Manheim. Blood rushed to my head, making me light-headed and I had to sit back on the chair.

“Are you not feeling well, Miss Russel?” he asked curiously.

“No, I was just startled, that’s all.” It was true enough. His face was definitely not the thing I wanted to see first thing after waking up. “I was just waiting for Jim to come back. I’m just surprised that he hasn’t come yet.”

“I believe he was here. I saw him leaving the room just an hour since and I was curious to see what he left behind. I don’t suppose he cared to disturb you from your sleep. Indeed, you seemed too peaceful.”

“Wait; did you just say you saw him leave an hour ago?”

“Yes.”

“And have you been sitting there since then?” I asked in unbelief.

“Yes.”

The heavy feeling filled my stomach again. I felt a strange urgency to get away before the weight became too much for me to move. I stood again no slower than the time before and staggered towards the door. I had to lean on the back of another chair when the dizziness rushed back.

“I wonder why you are always in such a hurry to leave my presence. Are you afraid of me?” His question was filled with honest interest and yet at the same time I felt a strong sense of resentment behind his tone. I decided to be bold and stay. I turned about to face him—he was still sitting.

“No, I’m not afraid of you. I just think you’re really weird.” I waited for his
response.

He stared back, fiercely for a split second and then his lips twitched in amusement.

“You think that’s funny?” I asked.

“I’m not certain that I entirely believe you,” he stood, “however, if that is so then my mind is much relieved on one score.” He noticed the open Bible on the table and glanced at me before slowly shutting it. “Things that feel fear are weak. I can not attach myself to something with such limitations.”

The bird tweeted happily upon finishing his supper and began a sweet song. Manheim’s head twitched in its direction. I hastily tried to change the subject, feeling suddenly anxious.

“Did the men hunt this morning?” I asked with a nervous glance towards the bird. He turned his attention slowly back to me.

“Yes.”

“Do you hunt often?”

He stared expressionless for a long while before one end of his mouth curled up. I didn’t stop to think about what it meant.

“Yes.”

“What is it that you hunt?”

He turned again to the bird. He approached the cage and watched the bird flutter about nervously.

“I hunt anything weak enough to be hunted. Things that feel fear, for example.” He opened the cage door and leisurely slid his hand in. The bird was jumping onto the sides trying to climb away from the outstretched hand. It chirped, terrified. Manheim’s hand snatched the bird and held it tight. I watched in stunned horror as he slowly tightened his grip. The bird writhed, bit, and pecked at his hand. I saw Manheim’s eyes flash before he pulled his hand angrily out of the cage taking the bird with it.

I rushed forward and grabbed his wrist. I held it as tightly as I could and looked Manheim straight in the face.

“Let it go.” I stressed each word with as much force as was in my grip. He watched me for a second then let the bird fall to the floor. I stooped to pick it up and held it to my chest. I glared at him when I saw that the bird was still breathing—barely. He was breathing heavily and his eyes searched mine.

“Maybe you are afraid of me.” He straightened his back and smoothed out his ruffled sleeves. I ignored his comment.

“I don’t think it’s weakness to feel fear, Manheim. But I do think that those who prey on the weak are the true weaklings. “

He watched me closely—dangerously. I stared defiantly back. He smirked.

“Perhaps.” He went for the door but before exiting he turned around. “You should be more cautious, Miss Russel. You may have just changed my mind.”

I fell to the floor once he had gone. I was shaking terribly.

“That was kinda scary, wasn’t it little fella?”