FicWad

I had liked this girl for about two years. I knew everything about her, as she knew everything about me. I never actually ever gathered the courage to tell her that I liked her, until one day. I gathered just enough to tell her how much I cared.
After school one sunny after noon, I waited for her outside the school gate, just as I always did. She walked up to me with her long wavy dark hair bouncing about everywhere. She quickly exclaimed that she just had the best day of her life today (And I thought it would soon just get better). She continued on talking, but it was not of clothing or shoes or even of music, but of how she liked this guy, and he finally asked her out today and she of course said yes to him. His name was Edwin. She continued on saying how they held hands and just did so much in just one little day. You could tell she just admired him. I just stood there taking it all in, just listening, and with every new word, my heart grew heavier and heavier. We finally began to walk, she just kept talking about how he’s sweet and nice and cute and describing every little detail about him. Finally, her house came up just on the left side of both of us. She smiled at me, waved goodbye and went inside. I felt just like collapsing to the floor and just beginning to cry when she left, but I tried my best not to show it and to just keep it in.
Next day, I waited for her afterschool (Like always) and she came out again. Smiling ear to ear as she walked up to me. As we began to walk she began talking about me about the time today that she had with her new boyfriend. How she held his hand all day, and how they shared there first kiss. Then all of sudden, I just could not take it anymore. Not a single word more of hearing her “great “times with another guy. If I did I felt as if I was about to burst into tears. I stopped her, put my arms over her shoulders and said that I have something important to tell her and I need to tell her immediately. We arrived at her house and sat down on her lime green couch that lied in her living room, side by side. I took and deep breathe and looked at her. I began to open my mouth, but no words came out. I began to feel my stomach grow tighter and tighter. I tried again and finally I spoke. I told her how I really liked her, how much I cared for her and that I just could not take anymore about hearing her with another guy. Then I told her I’m sorry. She just looked at me, then to the floor. She just sat there, staring at the floor, as if I told her the world was coming to and end. I thought that it was time for me to leave. I got up and began to walk out to the door, and then walked outside. She ran outside after me and called my name. I turned toward her, and said “Yes”?
She responded saying that she liked me too, and asked if she could be with both of us, both Edwin and I. I smiled at her and replied with a quick no. Turned back around and walked away. I did not see her for about another week; actually I tried not to, avoiding her every time I could, dodging eye-contact with her whenever she saw me. I was ashamed, trying to make her brake up with her boyfriend, and just wanted to hide beneath a rock. I stopped even waiting for her after school, every time I did see her, I would turn and walk the other way. I began thinking, maybe I should have just said yes, she would be both of ours and no one would get hurt. Then, maybe I would still have her. What was I thinking; she would never get with a guy like me. She was pretty, smart, and all around perfect, while I was just the complete opposite. Often, I looked at myself in the mirror to see the person staring back. I hated him, he was ugly, small, and nothing a girl would want.
One day, I went to my friend’s house and just sat outside on the swings that he had there. I stared and just looked at the sky. Watching the stars, and looking at what they make. Finally, she came. She sat on the swing beside me. She told me she had just broken up with her boyfriend. (I felt like leaping for joy at to what I heard. But my happiness was soon cut, ounce I looked at her face, what seemed as a sad face.) She couldn’t even look at me in the eyes; she just stared and stared at the floor between her feet, the same way as she did when I told her I liked her. Something was wrong; I hugged her close to me, and then walked inside my friend’s house. Then, as I sat on the couch inside, she soon followed and lay down on the floor between my feet, with her head under my own. I looked at her and just wondered if I was the reason for her sadness, for her pain. I looked at her eyes, as she looked at mine. She smiled, and I smiled back to her. I leaned my head forward and we kissed. I knew everything was perfect. Just like her.
I never believed in hope, I always though that thing comes and then they go. What is the point of HOPING for a specific thing? But “There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown hopeless about them”. As I kissed her that night I hoped it would never end, she taught me what hope was, and what it could be. “True hope is swift and flies with swallow’s wings; Kings it makes gods, and meaner creatures kings”, and then and there, I felt like a god.