FicWad

Kate’s POV
Even though Pete said we would have a challenge the next day, he really meant reality show time, which meant next week. Gah, I’m so done with the lack of things to do around here. It was about 3:00 in the afternoon, and I was just sitting in the front of the house, reading ‘To Kill A Mockingbird,’ which I had found laying around somewhere. I was curled up quite comfortably when I felt someone watching me. I looked up, and Joe was chuckling at me.
“What?” I said, quite disturbed.
“I just never pictured you as the reading type. I guess there’s really nothing for you to do around here, is there?” He walked closer to me.
“No! There isn’t!” I groaned. I marked my place in the book and then set it down on my lap. “I would spend more time with Pete-but he’s always got whores attached to his hip. Or I would spend time with Jackelyn, but she’s always with Andy, and that’s awkward.” I sighed. “So the only thing left, is to read this book, which makes NO sense to me..”
“Didn’t you already have to read it in high school?” He asked me hesitantly.
“Oh, I didn’t quite graduate high school…”
“Oh, right, I remember, Pete told me.” He nodded.
I shrugged. “Pete. Does he hate me now?”
Joe was taken back by that statement. “No, how could he ever do that?”
“I don’t know. Usually every time someone figures out about what I used to be, they…tend to stay away from me after that.”
“Kate, we aren’t like that around here.”
“I’d like to believe that.”
Joe was silent for a couple minutes, then he looked up at me. “Pete would be insane to not like you, Kate, and you can believe that.”
I smiled slightly, and then looked back down at my book. I opened my mouth to say something, but a herd of girls came crowding down the stairs, and I snapped my mouth shut and wrinkled my eyebrows. Joe laughed, and then leaned down to my ear.
“Will you meet me in my room later tonight?” He whispered.
I looked at him curiously, and he leaned down to my ear again. “I mean, I just want to make sure your right for Pete.” He gushed. I smiled, and then nodded at him. He leaned down again, and whispered, “Then come to my room around, 1? So all the camera’s are turned off. I wouldn’t want to cause any problems.”
I nodded again. “1 o’clock on the dot, son.”
He smiled and walked back upstairs. I picked up my book and started reading again.

I was laying in my bed at about 12:50, listening to the snores of Sara, next to me. After she started talking a few minutes later, I decided it was time to go see Joe. I snuck out of my bed slowly, and then crept down the hallway. I was pretty sure I knew which one was Joe. He was the last in the hallway. I heard the floor squeak under me. I knocked three times lightly on his door. He answered a minute later and smiled at me.
“You’re early.” He whispered.
“Well, I hate being late.” I retorted. “Am I allowed to come in or what?”
“Yea, come in.”
I walked slowly into the room, with only a small lamp on for light. It wasn’t as fancy as Pete’s room, but I guess it wouldn’t matter because it wouldn’t be on camera. I sat down on the foot of his bed. He sat down next to me. He looked at me for a second, and then laughed.
“What’s funny?”
“I didn’t think you’d actually come.”
“I said I would.”
“Yea, but for most people, saying things and do them are two completely different things.”
“Not for me.”
He looked at me thoughtfully. “You’re not like a lot of other people, are you?”
“I try not to be. I find it boring.”
“As boring as reading a book?”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Fuck off, unless you can think of something else for me to do around here.”
“You could come talk to me.”
“What, you mean I can talk to you without sneaking out in the middle of the night?” I teased.
He rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything. So I just kept on going.
“Little Joe-Joe afraid of the camera?” I pinched his cheek.
“I’m not afraid of the camera.” He murmured.
“Then what are you afraid of?”
“Birds. Mullets. Flying. And Spiders.” He retorted. “Not the camera. I just usually have nothing of interest to say when the camera is on.”
“Ha, You’re afraid of flying?”
“Yes.”
“Big, Bad, Mr. Joe Trohman, is afraid of flying.”
“Yes. Isn’t that weird?”
“I’ve heard weirder.”
“Yea. You’re pretty fucking weird.” He gave me a playful shove on the shoulder.
“Oh, yea. And you’re pretty fucking stupid.” I shoved him back.
“Oh yea? Your have a weird head of hair.” He rubbed my head.
“Honestly, Joe, don’t talk about my hair. Look at your Joe-Fro! One night I’m just going to come in here and shave it off.”
“You shave my hair off, don’t be surprised to wake up with your hair turned blue.”
“Oh, I’ve had my hair blue before. I looked mighty fine, let me tell you.”
“Oh, I bet you did.” He smirked. I smacked him on his stomach. He grabbed my wrist, and examined where I had “Life Is Death” tattooed on it.
“Do you really believe this?” He muttered. I snapped my wrist away.
“Sometimes.”
“Why?”
“Because it is.”
“How?”
“How can I make it more crystal clear to you?” I snapped. “I got that tattoo years ago, and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“Would you care to elaborate?”
“You ask a whole lot of god damn questions, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. Why won’t you answer any of them?”
“Because I don’t want to tell you.” I snapped.
“You don’t trust me enough?”
“Not yet. Why are you so nosy?” I pushed my hair behind my ear.
“I’m not nosy, you just….make me curious.”
“How?”
“Now you’re asking a whole lot of questions.”
“Fuck off. Answer me.”
“Now, Now, Katie.”
“Kate. None of that Katie bullshit.”
“I’ll call you what I want Katie.” He smiled. “My room, my rules.”
“I can leave at anytime.”
“Then why don’t you?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why not?”
“Because it seems like you want me to leave.”
“I actually don’t. Your pretty entertaining.”
“Am I now?” I leaned back, shocked. “That’s great. I’ll be sure to put that on my next resume.”
Joe laughed. “What do you do, anyways?”
“I cut hair. And I save the world on occasion.”
Joe smiled. “Well, you sound like you have no time for a boyfriend.”
“I’ll make time. For the right boyfriend.” I looked over at the clock. It was close to 2:00.
“I’d better get to bed.”
“Oh, yea. Challenge tomorrow, right?”
I nodded. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck.”
I got up, and walked back down to the hallway and went to bed.

“KATE! KATE!” I woke up to Sara jumping on my bed.
“What?!” I groaned. I rolled over on my side so Sara would stop jumping.
“Pete wants us downstairs in five minutes!” She whined.
“And I want a golden pole shoved up your ass.” I muttered. “But that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.”
“C’MON KATE! IT’S A CHALLENGE! WE ARE LEAVING IN FIVE MINUTES!”
“FINE!” I screamed. I threw the covers off of me and grabbed a pair of my jeans off the floor. I slipped them on and then looked at Sara.
“Happy Now?”
She nodded, and we both went downstairs. We both got into the limo and started on our way, wherever we were going. It was only around five minutes away, and we got there within a few minutes. Everyone piled out of the limo, and we were somewhere really, weird.
A fucking park?
Why?
Pete was standing next to the entrance to the park, and he smiled.
“Hello Ladies.”
“Hey Pete.” We all sang.
“You’re probably wondering why we are in a park.” He started.
Well, no shit. Thanks for that update. Everyone nodded.
“Well, it just so happens a very special person’s birthday.” He continued. “And we will all be throwing him a birthday party. Do you want to know who’s birthday it is?”
“Yes.” All the girls said.
He smiled broadly. “Ok. Hemingway!” He called.
Pete’s dog, Hemingway, came bouncing towards him from the limo. He was slobbering everywhere, but Pete didn’t care. He leaned down to the dog and started rubbing his belly. All the girls were smiling.
“Hemingway’s birthday today. And I expect him the very best. So, you girls will be divided into two teams of seven, and the team that throws the best party, gets a group date with me.” Hemingway sat up, and his tongue rolled out of his head. Pete sat up, rubbed his hands together, and looked at all of us. “Okay, so the first group will be…Tiffany, Tori, Sara, Holly, Gretchen, Tammy, and Geena.” He nodded to them. You guys will have the first 2 hours for Hemmy’s party. Freda, Kathy, Kate, Mandy, Amanda, Kaya, and Raquel, you will have the second 2 hours. I expect you all to have games, food, and a present for him. He’s bringing friends as well, so plan this party as if you we’re planning it for yourself.”
So, I think it’s pretty stupid how I got put with the group that I didn’t know anyone in. Did Pete want me to lose?
“So get planning, the party start’s at 2.”
He nodded to us, grabbed Hemingway, and then walked back into the limo. I turned to my group.
“So we need people to take care of the present, the games, and the food. I guess we could divide into two groups of three and a group of one, because I think only one person needs to go get his present, right?”
All of them nodded at me, but didn’t say anything. I stood there for a minute, not really wanting to take charge. Eventually I got impatient.
“Freda, do you want to cook, plan, present?”
She looked at me, startled. “Um, plan the games.”
“Kathy?”
“Ummm.” Kathy sat there for a minute. “I think I’ll cook.”
“Mandy?”
“I want to cook.”
“Good. Amanda?”
“I want to plan.”
“Kaya?”
“I want to..cook.”
“Raquel?”
“I want to plan the games.”
I sighed. “So I guess this means I need to get his present. Now, out of the cooks, who is making the cake?”
Kaya, Kathy, and Mandy looked at each other.
“I WILL!” Said Kaya. I held back a laugh. Of course the stupidest bitch in that group wanted to make the cake. Fine with me.
“Um, ok. Then I’m going to go to the store..and I’ll be back soon to help?” I said, uncertain with what I was doing. I had no idea what to get a dog for a present. I grabbed my bag and then got into the limo, which took me to some pet-store. I walked into the smell of dog food and guppies, and tried to organize my thoughts. If I was the sweetest dog on the planet. What the fuck would I want for my birthday?
I skimmed the aisle carefully. There were a bunch of fucking shock collars and beds. I would be a super pissed dog if I got that for my birthday. I went down a couple more aisles, nothing. I could get him a collar made out of diamonds, but where’s the fun in that? Na, I had to get him something amazing. Something that he would love me for. Because, frankly, this is going to sounds weird, but if the dog doesn’t like you, the dude won’t. Don’t ask me why it happens, but it does. And I am not an animal person, so I need all the help I can get. I strolled down the aisle of the pet adoption, and stopped cold when I saw a bulldog.
What if I got Hemmy a girlfriend?
I mean, I’d be stoked. I bent down at the cage and read her profile.
Name: Luna
Age: 4 years
Gender: Female
I tilted my head slightly to get a better look. She was one of the cutest dog I’d ever seen, and I’m not a dog person. I felt like I was falling in love with this dog.
Whatever, if Hemingway didn’t want her, I would take her. An attendant walked by me, and I hit his leg when he passed.
“How can I help you?” He said, obviously annoyed.
“Um, What can I do about Pet Adoption?”
“For who?”
“Luna.” I gestured down towards her cage.
“Oh, Her? She’s a great girl. All trained up and what-not. I think you could easily adopt her today.”
“Ok then, I want her.” I snapped.
The attendant stepped back. “Let me go get the paperwork. Why don’t you look around, get some supplies for her?”
“Sure thing.” I said as he walked away. I walked down an aisle where I had been before, the one with a ton of collars. I looked at them carefully, attempting to pick out the perfect one. I stopped when I saw a pink and black polka dotted one. Perfect. You can never go wrong with polka dots. I picked up a black leash next to it. Then I got some bowls, for you know, food and stuff. And I finally got her a bed, with, amazingly, had “Luna” written on the side of it. I thought I’d done good. I walked back to Luna’s cage with all this stuff in my hand, with the attendant waiting.
“Just sign here, and take all your stuff to the check-out line.” I nodded and took the pen and signed it. Then I scrambled my way over there, and quickly checked out all my shit.
Then, I walked over to the cage, unlocked it, put Luna’s collar on, and attached the leash. We were set. I led her outside to the limo, and then we got in to go back to the park. Who knew what those lunatics were doing while I was away? We got there in less than five minutes, then me and Luna went into the house, where everyone was getting ready for Hem’s party. I put her bed and her food down in the corner of the kitchen, and then cleared my throat to get the attention of the people on my team. They all turned, looked at me, then looked down.
“You got a dog a dog.” Mandy said sarcastically.
“Yes. Isn’t Luna cute?”
“Why the fuck would he want a dog?” Kathy said.
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“I think she’s cute!” Kaya screeched. She turned back to the oven.
“Um, How’s the cake coming, Kaya?”
“Perfect!” She bragged. “I even added chocolate chips to the batter, to give it an extra flavor, and then I’m going to cute them out in little dog bones.” She danced around the kitchen. “You want to see.”
My jaw had dropped at that point. “So you’re saying you put chocolate, in a dogcake?”
She nodded and hummed to herself.
“Well, sweetie, that’s a good notion, but dog’s can’t eat chocolate.”
She stopped dancing, and stared at me. “What?”
“Hemingway, or any other dog at that party, cannot eat that cake.” I turned to Kathy and Mandy. “Please tell me you made some other food.”
“Oh, well.” Mandy started. “We made him some chocolate pudding, and brownies, and all sorts of other stuff.”
“Let me guess, do all of them have chocolate in them?”
They nodded, and I groaned. “What the hell is wrong with you three! Chocolate. Of all things, you decide to make a dog chocolate! Are you all fucking on your period or something. WHY DID YOU ALL MAKE CHOCOLATE?!”
“We thought the dogs would like it.” Kaya said innocently.
“Too bad they can’t eat it! Common sense here, please!” I ran over to the counter. “let’s see what we can make with what time we have left.”
“LADIES! YOUR PARTY IS STARTING IN FIVE MINUTES!” Patrick called to all of us. I groaned.
“Throw some animal crackers in a bag or something, and let’s come on.” I turned away. “Fucking dip shits” I muttered. “I hope the fucking games planners have something good.” I grabbed Luna and walked out the door.

“Thank god.” I muttered when Freda explained to me the games they had planned. Now, I personally, don’t know what the games were, but as long as they had them, I was ok. “Ok, well, I’m going to hide Luna, until we give presents, ok?”
“When are we serving food?” Freda asked.
“Whenever the assholes figure out when to give out the animal crackers.”
“Animal crackers? No cake?”
“Yes, no cake. Ask them how the fucked it up for me, will you?” I rolled my eyes and dragged Luna into the next room. I looked at her glumly. I knew we would have to stay in here for at least an hour. I didn’t want to leave her alone. Luna looked up at me, and cocked her head. An hour in here wouldn’t be so bad.

“Hey, Kate, Hemmy’s ready for his present!” Freda called into me.
“Ok, I’m coming.” I grabbed Luna’s leash and led her outside. All the girls were standing over Pete. Pete sat on the ground with Hemingway on his lap. Joe, Andy, and Patrick sat next to him. Pete’s eyes got wide when I lead Luna out, and Hemingway was obviously excited, because he ran right to her. I struggled to pull her over to Pete, so he could see her, but Hemingway just kept pulling me back. I sat down in front of Pete.
“Happy Birthday Hemingway! I got you a bitch!” I handed the leash to Pete and he smiled, and laughed. Hemingway came over to Luna and sniffed her for the first time, then proceeded to wag his tail. “Her name’s Luna. And if you don’t want her, I’ll take her, because I am in love with her.” Pete glanced at Hemingway, still smiling.
“I don’t think there’s a need for that. He seems to like her.”
“Would it be bad to say I’m a tad disappointed?” I asked. “Because I really wanted her for myself.”
Pete laughed. “Don’t be so sad-it could be our dog, does that make it better?”
I nodded slowly and smiled.
“But it’s truly the perfect gift, Kate. I could tell Hemmy was lonely.”
“Yea, well. Don’t think much of it. She’s here as his piece of ass, and if it grows into more they will have to discuss it.” I said curtly.
Pete laughed, and then leaned in and gave me a kiss. I grabbed the back of his neck and kissed back. I leaned back and looked at Luna. Then I looked at the girls, who were staring at me with envy.
“I guess now I have to decide what party was better, right?” Pete said, and everyone nodded. Pete sighed.
“Well, I loved the present from the second party, but you guys had no food. That was kind of a key ingredient in the party. So, I’m going to have to say that Party Number One wins the date with me tomorrow morning.”
All the girls on team one cheered, and I just looked at Luna.
“That’s what you get when you have dip shits on your team.” I sang. I sat down and petted Luna, who had since migrated toward Joe. Joe was holding his dog, Sokka, on his lap. The dog rubbed up against me until I sighed and petted it.
“I think she likes you.” Joe said softly.
“Well, isn’t that great?” I said, sounding bitter.
“I’m sorry you didn’t win.”
“Don’t be, I got a dog out of the deal.” I said, and then slowly got up, and headed to the limo to go back to the house.


Jackelyn’s POV


“I don’t care what you say Pete, the party I threw for Hemmy last year was ten times better than that shit.”

“Are you hatin’ on my women?” he asked in a voice that could only be described as it should have belonged to the little dude from the ‘Different Strokes’.

“Yezzir, cuz yo women be whack.” I said

He stared at me funny, “Travie’s going to be pissed when he finds out your taking his spot.”

“I’m ten times harder than him and GCH put together.”

A girl on the T.V. shrieked and Pete and I each jumped about 5 feet high. We looked at each other with huge eyes and started laughing.

“How did we forget about the movie?” he asked in between laughs.

“It was because we were reminiscing,: I said in an airy voice.

“And you know what else we forgot?” I asked.

He raised an eyebrow.

“Popcorn!” I said excitedly and brought it up into my lap.

“Where did you send the guys?” I asked

“I sent them to mingle with the girls, they aren’t as intimidating as you are.” he said.

“Ouch, I’m not a mega bitch.”

“AND! We haven’t had special Jackey Pete time!” he said pulling me close around the waist.

I squealed, “HEY, that tickles!” I said between short bursts of air. Now I was sitting in his lap and his head was resting on my shoulder.

I sighed, “I can’t believe we have been stuck in this crazy house for 3 weeks.”

“I know,” Pete said, “I thought having crazy fans was hard, but now I’m living with them.”

I gasped, “Is Peter hating on his women?”

He rolled his eyes, “I admit that some can be a little crazy.”

“I’m going a little crazy here too.” I said.

“Oh really?” he gasped dramatically.

“These cameras everywhere are driving me crazy.”

“Yeah, that can kind of get annoying.” he said.

“Seriously I’m just about to walk around the house naked so they can’t film me.”

“They’ll just pixelize it.”

“In the contract it said they would do that, but if were naked on purpose if were just chilling naked they can’t film it.”

“I think you should do that.” he stated

I rolled out of his lap and stretched out on the bed. “I’d get cold.”

“That is a good point.”

“And I think it would make things awkward.”

He shook his head and I rolled my eyes.

“Are there cameras in here?” I asked.

He laid on his stomach next to me.

“Not when the doors are closed. Why does my little Jack Rabbit want a repeat of when we were teenagers?” He said while pulling me closer but this time by ass.

“Now see there are some problems with that..”

“What would those be?”

“1. Your already dating about 14 girls.

2. We aren’t teenagers anymore.

3. I have a boyfriend who is one of your best friends.”

“And right now he would be like ‘PETE HANDS!’”

I laughed. “He would say that.”

“He shouldn’t be so jealous, I mean you guys have been dating for what? 6 years?”

“Yup 6 almost 7.”

“That’s insanse. If you guys full time lived together like in an apartment you would almost be considered married.”

“Woah, back it up. I am no where close to being married.”

“Your relationship has lasted longer than most marriages plus the time they dated.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I think you two crazy kids should settle down.”

“And I’m getting relationship advice from the guy who’s dating 14 girls on T.V.”

“Does someone have commitment issues?”

“Right, the person in the 6 year relationship has commitment issues.”

“You aren’t getting any younger.”

“Watch it I’m younger than you.”

“By a month.”

“Pete I’m just scared.”

“Why?”

“You and Ashlee seemed in love and ready for marriage and look how that turned out.”

“Jackey,” he said, “Me and Ash weren’t ready, or really in love. And we aren’t you and Andy.”

I looked at him skeptically.

“And you aren’t your parents.”

“How did you know I was thinking of them?” I asked.

“Because you got that look in your eyes you get when you think or talk about them.” he said seriously.

“Yeah well you would be a little pained if you got reminded at least twice a day you were a mistake.” I rested my head back on the pillow.

“Hey don’t think like that.” he said sitting up and scooting closer to me. “I know they said that because believe me I heard it. Oh were your parentals loud.”

“Mike and Sue sure knew how to project their voices.” I added.

“But back on subject.”

I rolled my eyes very dramatically.

“I think you need to work out your internal issues.” He stated.

“Wow, top notch advice.” I said putting my hand above my head symbolizing how ‘Great’ his advice was.

“Pete you don’t get that with marriage comes a house with a yard, and a house with a yard comes with a kids, then kids need pets, and people with kids, pets, and a house can’t go on tours. And Andy and I aren’t ready to give that life up yet.”

“Let me picture this, Jackey with a house that has a yard, some kittens, and a couple little Jackeys running around.” his thoughtful face quickly turned into gut bursting laugh.

“Hey, what’s so funny?” I asked

“I just pictured you with soccer mom hair.” he said and continued to laugh.

I ran my fingers down my excessively long hair.

“Aw, hell no. This shit was expensive. There is no way I’m going to cut it off.”

“Wow that was a good image.” he said wiping a tear from his eye. “But seriously I don’t care how old you got, I can’t see you with kids or a house with a yard. Pets yes, and they can come on tour.”

“Ugh, step off. I don’t want to get married.”

“You practically are.”

“Well I should get back to my ’husband’ than.” I said staring to get off the bed.

“NO!” he yelled grabbing my wrist. “I’LL BE BORED AND ALONE! DON’T LEAVE ME!”

“Get one of your hoes.” I argued

“But I miss you.” He pouted.

I stamped my foot, “I hate when you pout.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked.
I shook my head.

“YAY!”

“Only for a little bit!” I said pointing my finger. “I’m tired and Andy probably wondering where the fuck I am.”

“Alright,” he said, “One movie.”

“Are we going to actually watch this one?” I asked.

“Your going to want to watch this one.” he smiled.

“Wentz if it’s porn I will kick your ass.”

“Close.”

I raised an eyebrow.

He pushed the tape in. And my favorite movie of all time, besides The Nightmare Before Christmas, Chicago played.

“The best movie about the best city.”

“Dude Willamette is number one.” he said.

“PLEASE!” I yelled, “We spent more time in Chicago then little old Willamette.”

“Touché Jackelyn, Touché.”

Pete stood up and turned off the lights so we could get a better view of the television. Then made a running leap towards the bed and I could swear I flew a couple feet in the air. I gave him a look saying, ’Don’t you interrupt my movie.’

“I’ll be quiet for the rest,” he said submissively.

I focused my eyes on the television and yawned and that’s the last thing I remember before I heard A deep Scream…

The Next Morning

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Something yelled.

I jumped up.

“What? Where’s the fire?” My head moved around quickly and I didn’t know what the fuck is going on.

“Jackelyn I can’t believe you?”

“Who’s yelling at me?” I asked rubbing my head.

“Your boyfriend, ANDY!”

“Did I leave the gas stove on again?”

“No, we aren’t home. Your not even in our room.”

That’s when everything clicked. I fell asleep in Pete’s bedroom.

“Oh, shit.”

“Want to explain to me what’s going on?”

“Chill out man, we fell asleep watching Chicago.” Pete said. Most likely waking up from screaming Andy.

“Oh, how convenient.” he said pissy.

“Baby, I don’t even know why your freaking out NOTHING happened, it’s Pete.” I said trying to get him to come to his senses.

“I see how you two look at each other. Don’t think I’m stupid and don’t know what’s going on.”

“You really think I would cheat on you?” I asked calmly.

“I’ve always thought you’d pull a slut move like this.” he said bitterly. But as soon as he spoke those words he slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Dude, not cool.” Pete said. Eyes wide.

I stood up, “Now you look here,” I said fiercely, “I have given up a lot for you. I have never once been unfaithful or lied to you. So don’t you EVER think that just because you’re feeling a little insecure, you can call me a slut. So what, I’m spending time with some other people. If your feeling neglected tell me. Don’t become irrational and accuse me of being a slut.”

I walked past him and opened the doors from Pete’s room to the hallway to see a group of girls.

“What the fuck?” I asked, “Get out of my face.”

“Looks like someone else wants to be a contestant.” Tiffany sneered and a couple girls giggled.

I walked over to her and threw my arm back about to punch her when Kate caught my fist.

“Hey save it for the reunion it’ll be more fun than.” she said.

Tiffany’s eyes were the size of dinner plates and she looked frightened for her life. I lunged at her one last time and she squealed.

“Pussy.” I commented.

Kate led me back to my room and sat down in a chair. I flopped on my own bed, grabbed a pillow and screamed into it. She gave me a concerned look.

“Seriously, what the fuck was all of that?!?”she asked.

“Long story short, I was talking with Pete, we put in a movie and fell asleep, Andy comes in screaming like a crazy man, and calls me a slut.”

“He called you a slut and he’s experienced these chicks.” she asked amazed.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Why would he say something like that?” she asked now baffled.

“I think he feels neglected because usually I’m 100% Andy but now I’m talking to Pete a lot and you.”

“Sorry.” she said.

“It’s not your fault but Pete’s having a hard time with all this and I want to help him. And your just a cool chick and sometimes I need to just talk to a cool chick. And he just can’t comprehend that.”

“I think he’s on his period.”

“Or has the emotional security of a 12 year old girl.” I said hitting the bed repeatedly.

“Hey now, what did that bed do to you?” Kate asked.

“I don’t know, I’m frustrated.” I cried out, “Living in this house is giving me cabin fever and I’m going INSANE!”

“I feel you, trust me.” she said shaking her head, “I was reading the other day.”

“I like to read.” I said.

“Yeah, I don’t really, so it proves how boring this place can get.”

“Do you want to do something fun?” I asked.

“FUN?!? What is fun? Does such a thing exist,” Kate said as if she was some fanatical old woman.

“Yes, and it comes in the form of Douches.” I said.

“Douches?” she asked.

“Oh yeah,” I nodded, “Douches.”

“Douches as in spray up your vagina?”

I nodded.

“What did I get myself into?” she asked.

I threw an evil laugh in there just to freak her out some more.



A Couple Hours Later

“Dude, Douches are fun!” she exclaimed.

“I know.”

“Where did you get this idea from?” she asked.

“I did it when the boys had to leave for a European tour.”

“You filled their suit cases with douche bags?”

“Yes, that phone call was amazing.”

“What do we do with their clothes?” she asked looking at the multiple stacks of clothes practically taking over the room.

“Pool?” I asked.

“Your so mean!” she squealed, “I LOVE IT!”

We both started tossing thousands of articles of clothing into the pool from the window. Everything from tee shirts to sparkly dresses. We weren’t so horrible that we threw their necklaces and jewelry. By the time we were finished you couldn’t see the bottom of the pool.

I checked my imaginary watch, “Looks like it’s time for deliberation, hope the girls look nice.”

“Thanks for leaving me with the sharks!” she called after me.

Deliberation had to be the most awkward thing ever. Andy was quiet and kept the same pissed off face the whole time. I was short and didn’t put in as much input as usual. Pete tried to remain normal. Poor Joe and Patrick just stared at all of us with wide eyes. As soon as we were done I walked to my room to change for the elimination.

I straightened my hair and touched up my make up. I was looking through my closet and chose my gold tube dress with a flared skirt. I spent about five minutes trying to zip it up but my short arms were not helping me. I sighed in frustration and there was a soft knock on the door.

“Come in,” I yelled still trying to zip up my dress.

Andy walked in slowly and cleared his throat, “I just needed to get dressed.”

“That’s fine.” I said jumping up and attempting to zip myself again.

He grabbed a suit from our closet and started to change.

I jumped up, squealed and attempted to zip myself again and failed.

“Do you need some help with that?” he asked shyly.

“That’d be nice.” I smiled, turned my back and lifted up my hair.

He quickly zipped it up. And I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thanks.”

Someone pounded on the door.

“LET ME COME IN!” they shouted.

I was too surprised to say anything.

“Fuck it!”

All of the sudden Kate threw herself into mine and Andy’s room and slammed the door.

“Kate what’s wrong?” I asked.

Andy just kind of stared at her.

“They found out what we did.” she panted. “Cute dress.”

“Thanks!” I said, “How pissed are they?”

“MEGA!” was all she said. “They’re main complaint is they have no formal clothes to wear tonight.”

“Oh darn, I’m so sorry I didn’t consider their feelings.”

Kate laughed, “I really wish you could have seen their faces when all they had to wear was douches.”

“Jackelyn you didn’t.” Andy said.

“What?” I asked innocently.

“You pulled a ‘European Tour’ didn’t you?” he asked.

“Yes, but with a new twist. We threw their clothes in the pool.” smiling to myself.

“Don’t you think that was a little out of line?” he asked.

Kate opened her mouth.

“Something out of line is typical for a slut.” I shot at him

“Jackelyn, I said I was sorry.” he whined.

“Actually you didn’t.” I said.

“I don’t ever remember hearing an apology just a lot of name calling,” Kate added in.

“But I am sorry.” he said.

“Until you really mean that,” I said softly, “I think you should stay in the spare room.”

“If that’s how you feel.” he said. And left the room.

“Wow, your strong,” Kate said, “And these shoes are killer.” She held up my gold heels.

“Thanks,” I sighed.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe you guys aren’t right for each other.” she stated simply.

“But we’ve been through so much. And to throw something away over something so little after seven years.”

“You could just be hitting another rough patch.”

“What do you mean another?” I asked.

“Haven’t you guys fought before?”

I thought about it, “No.”

“OMG! There’s your problem! You guys need fights, It keeps shit balanced. If your just happy all the time sooner or later shit’s just gonna hit the fan. And be ten times worse than if you had a little fight about something earlier.”

“Makes sense.” I said.

“Take a break from him tonight and talk to him in the morning.”

“Good Idea.”

“Come on,” She said standing up, “Time to face the crazies.”

We walked down stairs and parted ways to go to our separate spots. I sat next to Joe and Kate stood next to Sarah, she seemed like the only one not pissed about her clothes. Shit, when was the bitch ever mad?

Pete came down and looked confused that all the girls weren’t dressed up besides Kate. I tuned out after that because the first elimination was interesting, the second was funny, but this one is just going to be boring.

I snapped back when Joe pinched my side.

“Geena I just don’t think we’ll work out.” Pete said.

“That’s ok.” she said nodding quickly.

They hugged and she walked out without making a scene.

“She was fun,” Joe whispered.

I laughed.

“Oh Jackey!” Pete called.

“Yeah, Yeah.” I said, “I’m getting your little coffee things.”

I put the tray in front of them and they each took one.

“You would think I was a fucking waitress,” I mumbled.

They all hit their glasses up and whooped. Then I headed upstairs to sleep by myself for the first time.