FicWad

Going on tour with Fall Out Boy was not my idea of fun. Mainly because Andy is my brother and we are like oil and water. We've never gotten along, ever. As a teenager, I thought he was a total nerd and into his adult life I still find him a total nerd— and that's meant affectionately. I probably would have cut him slack over the fact that he's never held a steady girlfriend because of his nerdiness, but Andy has never been nice to me. He always has some kind of snide remark to snort at me, belittles me on every aspect of my life, and I really wish we weren't related.

So by now you must be asking yourself why I'm going on tour with my brother? I'm a model, and I'm taller than all of the members of Fall Out Boy combined. My manager said that this might boost my chance of getting bigger and hotter than Paris Hilton (he likes to stretch the truth, but a girl can dream, can't she? Oh, and it's not like I find Paris attractive as a woman or anything...). I really don't see this as an attempt to do any good for my career, but Andy depresses me, and a depressed model is not good because I like to turn to chocolate and ice cream. I think he maybe thinks that if I go on tour with them, I'll learn to patch things up with Andy now that we're older but I honestly know that it's not going to work. Ever. And honestly, I don't want to patch things up.

All six feet of me lithely moved through the airport, bags in hand. I could see Pete staring at Ashlee's stomach in the distance, Patrick fiddling with his BlackBerry, Andy looking pissed, and Joe's hair... Joe's hair... It frightened me. My hair was naturally curly, but I straighten it because it's currently not the look on the runway. "Hey guys!" I announced my approach, grinning brightly at everyone, mainly to show off my smile. I had my teeth brightened (just a little bit!), and it's shouldn't shock you to know that I know that I'm beautiful. My carmel colored hair was thrown over my shoulder and wrapped up in a Pucci head scarf and unfortunatley that was the only fashionable thing about me. I had flown comfortably in Lucky jeans and a Ralph Lauren shirt, but I still looked stunning. I always had to look my best; who knows when I could be photographed? Not to mention, what's up with girls that take one day off to look horrible for the rest of the 365 that they can look fabulous?

Ashlee's eyes moved to me as she raised her hand in acknowledgment and I could feel her envy. Don't get me wrong, I like Ashlee, but I knew that she wanted to be a model and look as fabulous as I did. I guess you could say we have a friendly rivalry. "Hey, Claire!" I heard Patrick and Pete chorus while Andy remained silent. "So good to see you!" I jogged up to them in my Coach shoes and grabbed them both in a hug with a kiss on the cheek. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah! "Oh my God, the baby!" I squealed and poked Ashlee's stomach, inwardly gloating on the fact that she would soon be fat. "Girl or boy?" I asked instantly, waiting for her response. "We dunno yet." Ashlee responded, a smile on her plastic lips.

And then my attention turned to Andy. I scowled at him, upset that he failed to notice me. Everyone seemed to sense the tension in the air, so Pete picked up the conversation. "I saw you in an ad for Victoria's Secret." Finally, someone is noticing me! "Oh, yeah... That." If it weren't for the fact that I was seven inches taller than Pete, we probably would have been flirting and Ashlee wouldn't be here. Or so I like to think. "Yeah, you looked amazing." Patrick hesitantly added. Ha, I don't need to even be told once.

"So, I'm ready to get out of her—" I was cut short by Patrick. "I brought you food." Thin is in, thin is in, thin is in. If you're not thin, you're fat. "Huh? ... Oh, I, uh, already ate. Big lunch!" I saw him give me a funny look at my lie (I'm getting good at those) and then Andy spoke his first words to me in one year. "She's a model, she can't eat, dumbass." I narrowed my eyes at him, just about ready to rip him a new asshole in my own defense more than all other models. "You do look kinda thin..." Patrick mumbled, readjusting one of those atrocious hats he always wears. Ashlee looked uncomfortable by the way she kept crossing and crossing her legs while Pete looked amused. He always found Andy/Claire fights hilarious. "Andy, I am not anorexic but I do restrict my diet more than the average person but unlike you I don't abuse drugs to stay thin!" I had more dignity than him. "What?! I am not a stoner, Joe is!" You see, when we're around each other Andy doesn't hesitate to insult everyone else if it means getting back at me. I don't know what his problem is.

"Oh, O.K." I scoffed, ignoring everyone's, not counting Pete's, discomfort. I could hear snickering, see Ashlee crossing her legs, Patrick pouting and Joe in his own world. "Wait... What about me? ... Andy you asshole!" Joe exclaimed and it was sort of a lazy exclamation at that. Andy ignored him and finally I gave into my urges and slapped him.

"What the hell?!" He screamed, standing up. I smirked at first but then was suddenly horrified at what I had done. "Claire! Talk about inappropriate response!" He shouted at me, taking a step closer to me. His height and mine gave me the advantage so I stayed put. "Whatever." Turning on my heel, I stared at Patrick who was quivering. "All of you, get up. Where's the bus?"

Author's Note: Hah, I love how vain Claire is XD