Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Soul Purpose
29. Just Like My Favorite Scenes
The night’s show was over – well, it was over for Soul Purpose. My Chemical Romance was yet to show up. And backstage was a mess. People were tired. People were psyched up.
Defne wiped the sweat off her face and neck as her eyes wandered around the room, watching her friends.
Matt was hungrily gulping down water from a giant bottle as if he was on the brink of dying from dehydration. Chris was slowly approaching him with a mischievous grin on his young face. Realizing he was being watched, the guitarist winked at Defne before going through with his plan. He put his hand at the base of the drummer’s bottle and tipped it higher. Matt choked on the overflow of water. When he was finally able to move the bottle away, he raised his head and glared at the rhythm guitarist who was smiling at him angelically. The glare wasn’t effective though; he looked pretty funny with all the water running down his face, dropping onto his chest from his chin. Chris couldn’t resist any longer and erupted with laughter, causing all the heads in the room to snap in their direction.
Defne, too, laughed out loud at the sight. She doubled over when the drummer yelled something incoherent and emptied the rest of the bottle down the guitarist’s head. Chris shook his head to each side furiously, splashing water droplets all around the place like a wet dog. Then he punched Matt in the stomach lightly and took off in the direction of the restrooms.
Zack and Devon followed them, running, eager to watch the show. Defne was contemplating whether it would be worth barging in the men’s room or not when soft hands were placed on her shoulders, rubbing circles down her arms. She closed her eyes on instinct.
“You gonna watch the show?” murmured Gerard against her ear, his warm breath caressing her sensitive skin. She gave a tiny shiver and turned in his arms to face him.
He was all set for the stage. His skin was paler because of all that powder on his face, his eyelashes darker and fuller, if possible. And his hair… Defne wanted to touch it the moment she faced him. It looked so soft and yet she knew it hadn’t lost anything from its texture. Framing that beautiful angelic face like a dark dark mane. Sticking up in nearly every direction, tangling over his ears and daring her to run her hands through it.
She gripped onto the hem of his black leather jacket to keep her hands from playing with all that glorious and carefully styled hair. His hands traveled to her waist and pulled her closer to his body and she looked up at him curiously. Then she realized she never answered his question and chuckled in a low tone.
“I’ve got nothing better to do,” she whispered, grin still intact on her dainty red lips.
“Yeah?” the front-man asked, a playful lilt in his now husky voice.
She nodded wordlessly and finally one rebellious hand gained its freedom from Gerard’s jacket and moved to his hair. Her eyes got bigger and she restrained herself at the last moment.
Gerard giggled. That earnest high-pitched giggle he gave while letting tiny breaths out at the same time. The sound one might expect to hear from a 3 year old girl. Defne tried to hold her hormones back.
“Are you trying not to touch my hair?” he asked, twinkles in his eyes.
She glared at him half-heartedly and huffed, folding her arms under her breasts.
“Well, excuse me for trying not to ruin your stage-hair, which I might add, takes roughly about 45 minutes to be shaped into perfection like that.” She was pouting slightly.
Gerard raised a pointed eye brow at her.
“‘Shaped into perfection’, huh?” he asked with a dirty grin on his face.
Blood rushed to paint her full cheeks pink and she ducked her head shyly. The air had started to feel unbearably hot all of a sudden.
“Shut up!” she muttered.
He giggled once again and gathered her closer in his arms, then kissed the top of her head. She sighed into the embrace and unfolded her arms to wrap them around his body but he caught her hands in his, slowly brought them up and placed them on each side of his head gently. She raised her head to gaze up at him with enormous eyes and he smiled.
“It’s okay. You can mess with it. I’m sure the fans won’t mind me showing up on stage with bed hair.”
She chuckled and ran her fingers through the soft dark locks. She let out an unconscious loud sigh at the pleasant feeling. Gerard had to hold back another giggle at the sound of contentment that came from her mouth. He had never known someone so unconsciously vocal with her feelings before. And he had never known anyone so fond of his hair – hah, except maybe himself!
He dipped his head lower slowly and kissed her. Her hands suddenly tightened in his hair and she tugged at it softly, pulling his head down to get better access to his mouth. A tiny moan of instant gratification escaped her lips and resonated inside his mouth as he parted his lips for her. His hand at the back of her neck convulsed and his fingers slipped into her rich dark hair, mingling with the straight locks and keeping her head in place at the same time. His other hand was at the small of her back, massaging the base of her spine continuously, ripping the exhaustion of the stage from her body slowly.
He was backing her towards the wall he knew which was a few feet behind her when a pointed cough sounded in the air. For a moment, neither of them gave a damn about it and they kept on making out but then it came again. In the end Gerard gave one last heated tug at her bottom lip with his teeth and broke the kiss reluctantly. She still kept his head angled towards hers and placed tiny wet kisses along his jaw line as he turned to see who had coughed.
Of course it was Mikey who was grinning from ear to ear cruelly as his older brother shoot daggers at him.
“Since you got all that good luck and all, I think we’re ready to step on stage, don’t you think so?” he pointed out.
Gerard let out a little sigh as Defne peppered the side of his face with kisses but he still managed to pull a face at his brother.
“You’re just jealous,” he shoot back, smirking.
Mikey blinked deep dark sunken eyes at him. All that stage make up made the look even more intense.
“Me? Jealous?”
“Yepp!” exclaimed the front-man. “You’re jealous ‘cause you can’t kiss your girl right now.”
Even Defne had to admit that was a low blow. On the other hand, Gerard practically calling her “his girl” had a strange sort of calming effect on her. Even if he’d said it indirectly, she still felt a weird feeling that was close to pride but then again, she had never felt positively about a guy thinking he owned a girl. But maybe she didn’t feel that way right then because the way Gerard had said the words hadn’t made them sound possessive but rather affectionate. Yeah. Still, she stopped melting over Gerard for a split second and eyed the other Way brother. Mikey looked shocked for a moment and then he scoffed.
“Puh-lease…” he drawled out lazily, rolling his eyes in emphasis. “It’s not a crime to miss your fiancé. And I am so not jealous! I’ll be seeing Alicia soon. You talk to poor Frankie over there. He hasn’t seen his girl for months!”
Frank held up a tattooed hand in his signature fingerless skeleton glove and chimed in.
“Don’t get me involved in this stupid sibling scuffle. I’m warming up for the stage,” he said coolly.
The brothers both frowned at him before Gerard decided to pick up from where he had left.
“Well, Mikes, it’s payback time!” he said, grinning, “For all those times you made out with Alicia in front of poor lonely me.”
The front-man felt incredibly childish and stupid but that didn’t stop him from uttering the words, nonetheless. He just loved yanking Mikey’s chain. He wondered if all the big brothers or rather older siblings felt like that or if he was the only one who had these sadistic inclinations.
Mikey huffed this time and brushed some invisible dust from his left shoulder.
“Fair enough,” he stated solely and turned to walk down the hallway that led to the stage.
Gerard stared after him, still grinning slightly. He already knew he hadn’t upset his brother; they were just fooling around, both of them.
His band slowly started to follow his brother, with matching smirks on their faces. Bob turned back once to look over his shoulder and gave Gerard the thumbs up silently and Gerard chuckled in response.
He turned to Defne hurriedly and placed an open mouthed kiss on her lips that lasted for a second and then pulled back, licking his lips.
“You better blend in with the crowd back there if you’re gonna watch the show. You might like it better…” he slurred mysteriously and winked at her before jogging down the hallway to catch up with the others.
She blinked after his departing figure and shrugged. Jumping around in the crowd was always more fun and she had been getting kinda tired of watching people’s backs from backstage anyway. Though sometimes Gerard would blow her a kiss when he’d turn his back to the audience. She’d just smile.
So she walked into the men’s room in search of partners to dive into the crowd with her.
-----------
Over an hour later, Defne had signed autographs on various kids’ arms and palms and even on one’s collarbone. Devon had come along for the ride and he’d had his share of signing autographs along with being practically groped by a bunch of girls. A few of them had even kissed him. On the cheek of course.
And right now, they were jumping up and down and screaming the lyrics along with Gerard like good faithful fans. The front-man seemed to be extra naughty that night. He constantly touched himself and kept fucking moaning into the microphone, making hundreds of girls go crazy at the sounds. And at the sight. Defne didn’t know if it was for her benefit or he was just horny or if it was just to piss Mikey off once more. But she liked it. No, screw that. She loved it. He was groping himself, dammit! Slapping his ass and all. And that mouth, opening into that tiny “o” shape was the part which she loved most. She would have fanned herself if she thought it would do any good but oh, he was hot! She wanted to… she didn’t know what she wanted to do, actually. But she figured she’d let her body decide that once she got a good hold of him later that night.
Currently, Gerard had his right leg propped up on an amp at the front of the stage and was leaning his weight on that knee, singing to the crowd like a mad man. He’d occasionally catch Defne’s eyes and smirk at her or blow her a kiss but that was it. She didn’t need more to drive her wild, anyway.
When the song ended he stopped to even his breathing for a few moments. The crowd screamed and whistled and clapped manically. Then he raised his head and his eyes skimmed over all the people before him. He smiled and brought the microphone closer to his mouth.
“Thank you,” he whispered breathily into the mic. “Now… We haven’t played this song for sometime. Yeah, it’s been a fucking while,” he started, “So, how would you like something outta Bullets, huh?”
The venue erupted with cheers and screams.
He smirked at the response he got.
“Oh, good! So, yeah. This’s gonna sound fuckin’ cheesy as hell but I still wanna say it so I’m gonna say it.” His eyes met Defne’s once more.
“This one’s for… someone… someone really special.” He paused and whistles were heard. He chuckled a bit into the mic. “Yeah,” he stated solely, holding her gaze for a moment longer and licked his lips before mouthing “you”. He wasn’t even sure whether she could see it from that distance but he did it anyway.
And Frank finally entered the song with the softest tune as Ray played along the most innocent melody.
Gerard stared at the dark night sky and willed it to take him higher right before he got ready to sing the very first lines.
“Late dawns and early sunsets,” he began softly, his voice still managing to sound a bit otherworldly even without the sound tricks used on the record.
“Just like my favorite scenes
Then holding hands and life was perfect,
Just like up on the screen”
He held his hand out as if to hold someone’s hand while his voice rose slightly in pitch at those lines but it only hovered in the air as he continued singing. His eyes swept over Defne and she just gaped at him, awe evident on her face. She couldn’t believe he was singing for her. When she was able to shake herself out of it and smile softly, he had already moved onto the next lines, walking from one side of the stage to the other oh-so-very-slowly.
“And the whole time while always giving,
Counting your face among the living”
By the time he moved onto the next worse, Defne had started singing the lyrics along with him. She had already been elbowed by Devon, who had just smirked at her when she’d turned to look at him. After that she had eyes for only one person and that was that. She watched him like she’d never watched him before. His liquid movements and his pure voice. So graceful. So beautiful. So sad…
“Up and down escalators,
Pennies and colder fountains
Elevators and half price sales,
Trapped in by all these mountains”
His voice rose a bit again and gained that miserable quality. Ray was playing a matching haunting melody.
“Running away and hiding with you
I never thought they'd get me here
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite
I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight”
She almost felt it in her bones. On her body. Him holding her close. And tight. She could only sigh. She’d never felt anything resembling this, before. Maybe she’d never been in love before. Or maybe… It was just Gerard. He was Gerard. And he made her feel. Like no one else did. The very essence of that man…
And she knew she’d fight them all off too, just to be with him. Together, they’d never let anyone get them. Ever.
“But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts…”
His hand was shaped into a gun and he pressed the barrel against his head as he cried:
“to put this to your head...”
"But would anything matter if you're already dead?
And well should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...”
His voice caught at the word “trigger”.
“But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And would anything matter if you're already dead?”
His cries were a lot more desperate now. He started practically wailing and the music kept tensing up and up and upper still. Ray was playing faster. Frank was writhing on the floor. Bob was beating his drums furiously. Mikey’s head was hanging low.
”And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing”
“As your body remains,” he screamed and his pain-filled voice rang out in the venue.
Then he was lost.
It all broke down as the music started to descend. Breaking point.
“And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
And our memories defeat us,
And I'll end this to rest.”
”But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?”
He screamed out in a desperate plea and there were suddenly tears in Defne’s eyes. She didn’t know how they’d gotten there.
The music slowly began to cool down.
”And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But does anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,"
“And these words changing nothing
As your body remains…” he throated out, spitting all over the stage with a crazy look in his eyes.
He dropped to his knees as the sound of the music faded away and gave room to his voice to be heard more clearly. His head hung low, his sweat covered hair clung to his forehead and he breathed into the microphone, his eyes clenched shut.
“And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
But does anyone notice – ”
He tore out the words from his throat. Filled with so much pain and desperation. He opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he saw was her wide damp eyes and he blinked at them slowly. Crawled forward on his knees and one hand a bit and stared at her intensely.
“ – there's a corpse in this bed?” he ended the song with a long wail. He held her gaze for one more moment before throwing his head back and breathing freely as the crowd exploded.
People were crying. People were trying to hold themselves from crying. People were screaming.
It was amazing.
-----------
Later, when Defne was a bit out of the strange effect of the song, Devon leaned against her ear and whisper-shouted:
“You noticed he killed you at the end of the song, right?”
-----------
She didn’t know how she ran backstage that fast. She didn’t know if he’d been waiting for her. But he smiled sheepishly at her flaming eyes and scratched the back of his neck with one hand when he first saw her.
She didn’t run into his arms. No. She wasn’t that dramatic. Instead, she moved to sit down on the couch next to him and kept glancing between his eyes and her lap continuously. Until she placed a trembling hand on top of his and squeezed. By that time, the room had cleared out. They had so very sympathetic friends.
She finally steadied her gaze on his eyes and murmured in a low awe-filled voice.
“That was really intense.”
Gerard nodded silently, clamping his other hand on their intertwined hands.
“It was. I mean, for me too,” he breathed.
She beamed back at him and brought her free hand to hold his chin, to be able to look at his face forever. Then she slowly closed her eyes and parted her lips, leaning in. Gerard met her halfway. And they kissed.
-------------
Defne fumbled at the lock with the key-card as Gerard sucked on the nape of her neck, his body plastered against her back, his hands running up and down her body urgently. She cursed her way through the process and when it didn’t help, got ready to kick the door open.
Surprisingly, as if the thought had scared the stubborn door, the lock clicked open and a second later, it clicked shut again.
Gerard pressed Defne against the back of the hotel room door and this time started to suck on her collar bone as she desperately tried to hold onto his shoulders.
It was pitch dark and she couldn’t see anything but she could feel. Feel his mouth fastened to her soft skin. Feel his hands roaming over her body as if unsure where to settle and discover first. She could hear the wet sucking noises coming from his lips; she could hear his appreciative hums. She could feel him hard and wanting against her body. She could feel her hands trembling as they swept over his shoulders and down his back. She could feel his skin burning hot against her sensitive fingertips as her hands slipped under the hem of his t-shirt.
But still she wanted to see. To see that gorgeous pale body. To watch those elegant artist fingers as they touched her. To see those honey-coated eyes, to know if they ever got darker with passion.
“Gerard!” she gasped finally.
He flicked his tongue against her skin.
She panted and tried once more.
“Gerard!”
“Hmmmmm…” was all that came from the busy singer. He had moved onto the other side of her neck now and was sucking so hard that she knew there’d be a hickey on her neck tomorrow morning. And he was nipping at her soft skin with soft motions of his little teeth and she had to chuckle. Gerard apparently had an enormous vampire fetish. She could relate to that.
“The lights…” she managed.
“Hmmmmmmm…”
Finally she grabbed his head with her two hands and detached his mouth from her skin, bringing his head up to face him; except she couldn’t see anything. She fumbled to find his lips and planted a sloppy kiss on them once she did, then pulled back forcefully.
“I need to turn on the lights,” she muttered in explanation but he didn’t want to let her go. He grabbed her by the arm and didn’t have any trouble finding her lips and they both moaned into the kiss.
Until Defne pulled back once again and Gerard actually growled.
“I want to see you,” she stated and felt around in the dark to find the card-holding-thingy to place the card in. She gave a triumphant cry once she did and quickly put the key-card in its place and voila: The lights were on. Finally.
She turned around to look at Gerard. And yes. His eyes were darker.
She sighed loudly at the sight and made a move to go to him but he was quicker. He was suddenly in front of her. She grinned, tilting her head back. He took the hint and kissed her like a starved man. As if he’d been dead for years and he’d only just turned back from the other side. Hungry for a woman. No. Hungry for her. Only her.
She kept moving forward and finally backed him against a wall and he grunted at the collision of his back with the hard surface. She grabbed his hands and intertwined them with hers, bringing their joined limbs up over their heads and pressing her body more forcefully onto his. She could hear, no feel, his heart thumping excitedly against her breasts and it made her own heart jump with glee in its bone cage.
She wanted to crawl into his mouth. Move down his throat. Touch those vocal chords that produced sounds beyond every other beautiful sound she had ever heard. She kissed him with those intentions running in her veins. Corrupting her. Possessing her. She tasted the lingering scent of cigarettes in his mouth and the faint aroma of bitter chocolate he had probably eaten that night. She lapped at his mouth until they had to break the kiss to stay alive.
Their chests furiously moved up and down together, in an enchanting synchronized motion. Finally, Gerard broke the hold she had on his hands and trailed his fingertips down her pale arms to her shoulders and in the end, to her waist. He kneaded the soft flesh of her sides over the material of her shirt and she panted, struggling for proper breaths. Leaning forward, she licked his ear lobe and he shivered for her. His hands traveled upwards to the buttons of her black button-down shirt as she started sucking on his ear, all the while humming around the creamy flesh appreciatively.
His hands kept trembling as he stared at the skin he was slowly revealing inch by inch. Her deep desperate breaths made her soft white breasts rise up and down and he was hypnotized by the beauty of them. He blinked big hazel eyes and ducked his head to pepper kisses along her cleavage. She gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to hold on.
When he was finished with the buttons, he gently unhooked her arms from around his neck and slid her shirt down to the floor. He kept his hold on her hands and stared at her. Her dark hair fell freely to her now bare shoulders. Wonderfully dark in contrast with the paleness of her skin. They were so long that they could have covered her breasts. But her black bra was already doing the job. Gerard almost regretted not having gotten rid of the bra, too. He struggled to tear his eyes from her torso and fixated them on her face. Her lips were red and swollen from all that hungry kissing. And the look in her eyes… He could have sworn he saw flames in her irises.
Defne smiled at his awed expression and ducked her head shyly, tugging on his hand a little and taking a few steps back.
He shook his head and breathed out softly:
“So beautiful…”
She bit her lip and released his hands, turning her back and slowly making her way to the queen-sized bed. She shot him a look over her shoulder and smiled, whispering as she took in his disheveled appearance: “You are…”
Gerard’s eyes were almost as enormous as a gazelle’s as he stared with his mouth open then let out a soft “Oh…”
Defne gave a low continuous chuckle as she slowly crawled onto the bed. She had started to enjoy teasing him very much. After undoing the clasp of her bra she gathered her thick hair in one hand and threw it over one shoulder to give him a better view of her back and kept watching him over her other shoulder.
His face… the expression on that angelic face. She couldn’t keep herself from simpering. She just couldn’t wipe that stupid grin off her face. He had that inevitable effect on her nervous system. She could never get enough of just staring at him. At his face. With those high sculpted cheekbones and that little up-turned tip of his graceful nose. With his kiss-swollen pinkish lips and full cheeks. And with those gorgeously enormous color-changing eyes of his. With all that soft black hair curling around that pretty visage, stroking the sides of his neck with silken whispers. She gave a loud loud sigh and thought that if she looked at him forever, taking in every single detail there was to take… Then she would think such perfection could not have formed on its own. And maybe then, she could almost gain faith in a God. Almost.
“I had no idea you had a tattoo,” whispered Gerard breathily, slowly approaching her.
“Most people don’t. My hair always covers the upper part of it and my shirts cover the rest.”
Gerard’s eyes were focused on her back. On all that dark ink adorning it. She had a black and gray toned tattoo that covered her whole back. His artist side reveled in the beauty of it. He’d always adored Frank’s tattoos, too. Especially those graceful sparrows… And now. He had no words for the sight in front of him. He was only able to raise a hesitant finger to touch it.
A huge black tree covered most of her back. Its branches long and crooked, reaching out in every direction, ghosting over the round sweep of her shoulders. Strangely, it looked dead –there were no leaves in sight. In the background there were smoky mountains with a huge full moon above them. And right before where the tree’s multiple roots entered the dark ground, on her lower back, close to her hips, was a grave with a simple headstone. The whole picture was consuming but the most striking part of it was the figure of a woman trying to crawl out of the grave. The ground looked as if it was trying to eat her, devour her, swallow her down but she was struggling. Her head and one of her arms was completely out of the ground whereas her legs seemed to be still struggling to get out. Dark blood was gliding down her pale arms – she had torn her nails while trying to claw her way out. On the gravestone two words shone under the eerie light of the moon: “DIE NEVER”
Gerard’s fingertips trailed along the dead branches of the tree and he realized there were tiny blossoms at the lower branches closer to the grave. It seemed like everything was coming to life, somehow. Near a grave. He unconsciously smiled at the irony. Then he let his hands travel lower and lower. Caressing the stone. The grave. The girl. He kneeled carefully on the bed and planted a kiss on the head of the woman figure. Defne shivered. He smiled against her inked skin.
“I like this,” he muttered.
“Mmhhmmm” was the response he got. He smirked to himself and licked a clean long wet line all along her spine. She arched back and whimpered involuntarily: “Gerard!”
He moved to take off her already unclasped bra and she turned around to help him. At the same time she grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and tugged at it impatiently. He raised his arms and she got rid of his t-shirt. Then she lied back on the bed. Her hair spilt in every direction on the white sheets and they just stared at each other. For a long time. In silence.
Until Gerard’s voice sliced through that silence all of a sudden.
“I can’t help but be in love with you,” spilt from his lips without a thought. As if he was only talking to himself.
Her eyes glistened, her hand shot up to caress the side of his face and her chest shook with flooding emotions.
“Me neither.” She shook her head. “I love you.”
Then Gerard moved and straddled her waist, ducking his head down to once again claim her lips as his. She arched up to meet him and hissed heatedly as their naked upper bodies touched. Her hands kneaded the pale flesh of his torso as his cupped the softness of her breasts. She moaned as he kept teasing her and then she flipped them over in a swift movement when it became all too much to bear. Her hair swept his torso as she straightened herself to sit on his thighs and he groaned. She cupped him through his jeans and his hips jerked upwards.
“Uhhhhh! Defne…”
She grinned at his helpless voice and started licking his stomach. She lapped at his navel and dipped her tongue a little lower every time she passed by the waistband of his jeans. Until he tugged at them helplessly to get them off. Her fingers slipped under the fabric and he cried out. Then he suddenly flipped them over once again so he was on top.
“You’re… such a. Such a… tease…” he panted as his hands worked at the buttons of her jeans. She sucked in a breath as he peeled them of her legs slowly. Then she couldn’t take his incredible patience anymore and kicked them off the remaining way. He chuckled but still couldn’t help staring at her. Touching her. Kissing her. Everywhere. Everywhere he could reach.
In a blur of motions his jeans joined Defne’s on the ground. Their underwear followed.
Apparently, Gerard was a curser. He cursed and cursed and hung onto her hair for dear life as she lost control completely, losing her English and chanting incoherently in Turkish. She dug her black-painted nails into his sides and clamped her mouth on his neck as the sensation of him filling her got unbearable. So much that she could have turned into pure energy. Into a blinking, shining ball of light, floating in the night. Pure bliss.
And still he kept going. He kept screaming and crying out with her. Watched her head toss and turn. Then shoot up, catch his lips. Never let go. He fought the tightness of her. Now, he was close. Closer. He couldn’t… He had to. The slight pain in his back brought him back from the edge. Her nails. But the pain turned him on even more. He suddenly deepened the angle and hit something inside her. He could feel it, too. He placed one hand on her lower stomach and pressed, making her give a loud wild cry. And then she was everywhere. Her hair, her arms, her legs. Everywhere. Coming so intensely that she toppled him down into his own release. His hand felt the convulsions under her skin as he kept it placed tight on her belly. His cock felt the lingering contractions of her walls around him.
And he collapsed on top of her.
Sweaty. And. Breathy.
Drained. And. Spent.
Gratified. And. Loved.
It took her a long while to come down from her high. When she finally did, though, she brought a trembling hand to grasp the back of his head and turned his head up to face her, his chin resting on the valley between her breasts.
He blinked back heavy eyelids at her and she smiled, fluttering her own eyes to be able to see him properly.
“Seni seviyorum,” she murmured, her breath still catching a bit in her throat.
And Gerard understood. Even though he didn’t know one word in Turkish, he knew what she’d said. He kept his eyes on her dark orbs and placed a gentle kiss right over her heart before asking:
“And how do you say ‘I love you, too’, exactly?”
Her eyes sparkled as her smile grew even wider and she answered, her voice full of joy.
“‘Ben de seni seviyorum.’”
Gerard frowned a bit at the pronounciation but then gave her a dorky smile as he said the words.
“Ben de seni seviyorum.”
She giggled childishly and lifted her head up to kiss his forehead sweetly.
They fell asleep with Gerard’s head nestled between the comfy pillow of Defne’s breasts. Her heart beating against his cheek – reassuring him of her comforting presence. His knee between her legs. Her hands tangled in his hair. His breaths hitting her on the chest – warming her up from the inside.
So tangled in each other.
So close.
A/N: I seriously have no idea how these chapters turn out to be so freakishly long!
Hmmm, so... It's my first time writing something graphic like this so I'm not really sure if it's good or not. But I hope you like the chapter. With all the lovemaking and the song and all... I mean, yeah, I guess if there was gonna be a love song sung, it would have been Demolition Lovers but I thought it would be too cliche. Yet, I love the song and its poetic tragedy. But it might be a little overused. And the fact that Gerard wrote that love song for an actual "other" woman wouldn't fit so good I guess, so... And Early Sunsets is one of my countless favorite MCR songs so I chose it. It's somehow really really different from all of their other songs. With Gerard's distant otherworldly voice and those sweetest guitar riffs. So light and happy at the beginning but gets darker and darker to the end. Miserable. With desperate cries. I dunno. And one line I love: "There's no room in this hell. There's no room in the next."
Okay, now even the author's note is freakishly long so I'm stopping. Tell me what you think. Or I might die from feedbacklessness. Rate and/or review as usual. And my heart will flutter in its cage =P
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P.S. Also, anyone like the tattoo? Now that I've gone into the trouble of imagining and sketching all that, I might get it inked on my back sometime, who knows?
The night’s show was over – well, it was over for Soul Purpose. My Chemical Romance was yet to show up. And backstage was a mess. People were tired. People were psyched up.
Defne wiped the sweat off her face and neck as her eyes wandered around the room, watching her friends.
Matt was hungrily gulping down water from a giant bottle as if he was on the brink of dying from dehydration. Chris was slowly approaching him with a mischievous grin on his young face. Realizing he was being watched, the guitarist winked at Defne before going through with his plan. He put his hand at the base of the drummer’s bottle and tipped it higher. Matt choked on the overflow of water. When he was finally able to move the bottle away, he raised his head and glared at the rhythm guitarist who was smiling at him angelically. The glare wasn’t effective though; he looked pretty funny with all the water running down his face, dropping onto his chest from his chin. Chris couldn’t resist any longer and erupted with laughter, causing all the heads in the room to snap in their direction.
Defne, too, laughed out loud at the sight. She doubled over when the drummer yelled something incoherent and emptied the rest of the bottle down the guitarist’s head. Chris shook his head to each side furiously, splashing water droplets all around the place like a wet dog. Then he punched Matt in the stomach lightly and took off in the direction of the restrooms.
Zack and Devon followed them, running, eager to watch the show. Defne was contemplating whether it would be worth barging in the men’s room or not when soft hands were placed on her shoulders, rubbing circles down her arms. She closed her eyes on instinct.
“You gonna watch the show?” murmured Gerard against her ear, his warm breath caressing her sensitive skin. She gave a tiny shiver and turned in his arms to face him.
He was all set for the stage. His skin was paler because of all that powder on his face, his eyelashes darker and fuller, if possible. And his hair… Defne wanted to touch it the moment she faced him. It looked so soft and yet she knew it hadn’t lost anything from its texture. Framing that beautiful angelic face like a dark dark mane. Sticking up in nearly every direction, tangling over his ears and daring her to run her hands through it.
She gripped onto the hem of his black leather jacket to keep her hands from playing with all that glorious and carefully styled hair. His hands traveled to her waist and pulled her closer to his body and she looked up at him curiously. Then she realized she never answered his question and chuckled in a low tone.
“I’ve got nothing better to do,” she whispered, grin still intact on her dainty red lips.
“Yeah?” the front-man asked, a playful lilt in his now husky voice.
She nodded wordlessly and finally one rebellious hand gained its freedom from Gerard’s jacket and moved to his hair. Her eyes got bigger and she restrained herself at the last moment.
Gerard giggled. That earnest high-pitched giggle he gave while letting tiny breaths out at the same time. The sound one might expect to hear from a 3 year old girl. Defne tried to hold her hormones back.
“Are you trying not to touch my hair?” he asked, twinkles in his eyes.
She glared at him half-heartedly and huffed, folding her arms under her breasts.
“Well, excuse me for trying not to ruin your stage-hair, which I might add, takes roughly about 45 minutes to be shaped into perfection like that.” She was pouting slightly.
Gerard raised a pointed eye brow at her.
“‘Shaped into perfection’, huh?” he asked with a dirty grin on his face.
Blood rushed to paint her full cheeks pink and she ducked her head shyly. The air had started to feel unbearably hot all of a sudden.
“Shut up!” she muttered.
He giggled once again and gathered her closer in his arms, then kissed the top of her head. She sighed into the embrace and unfolded her arms to wrap them around his body but he caught her hands in his, slowly brought them up and placed them on each side of his head gently. She raised her head to gaze up at him with enormous eyes and he smiled.
“It’s okay. You can mess with it. I’m sure the fans won’t mind me showing up on stage with bed hair.”
She chuckled and ran her fingers through the soft dark locks. She let out an unconscious loud sigh at the pleasant feeling. Gerard had to hold back another giggle at the sound of contentment that came from her mouth. He had never known someone so unconsciously vocal with her feelings before. And he had never known anyone so fond of his hair – hah, except maybe himself!
He dipped his head lower slowly and kissed her. Her hands suddenly tightened in his hair and she tugged at it softly, pulling his head down to get better access to his mouth. A tiny moan of instant gratification escaped her lips and resonated inside his mouth as he parted his lips for her. His hand at the back of her neck convulsed and his fingers slipped into her rich dark hair, mingling with the straight locks and keeping her head in place at the same time. His other hand was at the small of her back, massaging the base of her spine continuously, ripping the exhaustion of the stage from her body slowly.
He was backing her towards the wall he knew which was a few feet behind her when a pointed cough sounded in the air. For a moment, neither of them gave a damn about it and they kept on making out but then it came again. In the end Gerard gave one last heated tug at her bottom lip with his teeth and broke the kiss reluctantly. She still kept his head angled towards hers and placed tiny wet kisses along his jaw line as he turned to see who had coughed.
Of course it was Mikey who was grinning from ear to ear cruelly as his older brother shoot daggers at him.
“Since you got all that good luck and all, I think we’re ready to step on stage, don’t you think so?” he pointed out.
Gerard let out a little sigh as Defne peppered the side of his face with kisses but he still managed to pull a face at his brother.
“You’re just jealous,” he shoot back, smirking.
Mikey blinked deep dark sunken eyes at him. All that stage make up made the look even more intense.
“Me? Jealous?”
“Yepp!” exclaimed the front-man. “You’re jealous ‘cause you can’t kiss your girl right now.”
Even Defne had to admit that was a low blow. On the other hand, Gerard practically calling her “his girl” had a strange sort of calming effect on her. Even if he’d said it indirectly, she still felt a weird feeling that was close to pride but then again, she had never felt positively about a guy thinking he owned a girl. But maybe she didn’t feel that way right then because the way Gerard had said the words hadn’t made them sound possessive but rather affectionate. Yeah. Still, she stopped melting over Gerard for a split second and eyed the other Way brother. Mikey looked shocked for a moment and then he scoffed.
“Puh-lease…” he drawled out lazily, rolling his eyes in emphasis. “It’s not a crime to miss your fiancé. And I am so not jealous! I’ll be seeing Alicia soon. You talk to poor Frankie over there. He hasn’t seen his girl for months!”
Frank held up a tattooed hand in his signature fingerless skeleton glove and chimed in.
“Don’t get me involved in this stupid sibling scuffle. I’m warming up for the stage,” he said coolly.
The brothers both frowned at him before Gerard decided to pick up from where he had left.
“Well, Mikes, it’s payback time!” he said, grinning, “For all those times you made out with Alicia in front of poor lonely me.”
The front-man felt incredibly childish and stupid but that didn’t stop him from uttering the words, nonetheless. He just loved yanking Mikey’s chain. He wondered if all the big brothers or rather older siblings felt like that or if he was the only one who had these sadistic inclinations.
Mikey huffed this time and brushed some invisible dust from his left shoulder.
“Fair enough,” he stated solely and turned to walk down the hallway that led to the stage.
Gerard stared after him, still grinning slightly. He already knew he hadn’t upset his brother; they were just fooling around, both of them.
His band slowly started to follow his brother, with matching smirks on their faces. Bob turned back once to look over his shoulder and gave Gerard the thumbs up silently and Gerard chuckled in response.
He turned to Defne hurriedly and placed an open mouthed kiss on her lips that lasted for a second and then pulled back, licking his lips.
“You better blend in with the crowd back there if you’re gonna watch the show. You might like it better…” he slurred mysteriously and winked at her before jogging down the hallway to catch up with the others.
She blinked after his departing figure and shrugged. Jumping around in the crowd was always more fun and she had been getting kinda tired of watching people’s backs from backstage anyway. Though sometimes Gerard would blow her a kiss when he’d turn his back to the audience. She’d just smile.
So she walked into the men’s room in search of partners to dive into the crowd with her.
-----------
Over an hour later, Defne had signed autographs on various kids’ arms and palms and even on one’s collarbone. Devon had come along for the ride and he’d had his share of signing autographs along with being practically groped by a bunch of girls. A few of them had even kissed him. On the cheek of course.
And right now, they were jumping up and down and screaming the lyrics along with Gerard like good faithful fans. The front-man seemed to be extra naughty that night. He constantly touched himself and kept fucking moaning into the microphone, making hundreds of girls go crazy at the sounds. And at the sight. Defne didn’t know if it was for her benefit or he was just horny or if it was just to piss Mikey off once more. But she liked it. No, screw that. She loved it. He was groping himself, dammit! Slapping his ass and all. And that mouth, opening into that tiny “o” shape was the part which she loved most. She would have fanned herself if she thought it would do any good but oh, he was hot! She wanted to… she didn’t know what she wanted to do, actually. But she figured she’d let her body decide that once she got a good hold of him later that night.
Currently, Gerard had his right leg propped up on an amp at the front of the stage and was leaning his weight on that knee, singing to the crowd like a mad man. He’d occasionally catch Defne’s eyes and smirk at her or blow her a kiss but that was it. She didn’t need more to drive her wild, anyway.
When the song ended he stopped to even his breathing for a few moments. The crowd screamed and whistled and clapped manically. Then he raised his head and his eyes skimmed over all the people before him. He smiled and brought the microphone closer to his mouth.
“Thank you,” he whispered breathily into the mic. “Now… We haven’t played this song for sometime. Yeah, it’s been a fucking while,” he started, “So, how would you like something outta Bullets, huh?”
The venue erupted with cheers and screams.
He smirked at the response he got.
“Oh, good! So, yeah. This’s gonna sound fuckin’ cheesy as hell but I still wanna say it so I’m gonna say it.” His eyes met Defne’s once more.
“This one’s for… someone… someone really special.” He paused and whistles were heard. He chuckled a bit into the mic. “Yeah,” he stated solely, holding her gaze for a moment longer and licked his lips before mouthing “you”. He wasn’t even sure whether she could see it from that distance but he did it anyway.
And Frank finally entered the song with the softest tune as Ray played along the most innocent melody.
Gerard stared at the dark night sky and willed it to take him higher right before he got ready to sing the very first lines.
“Late dawns and early sunsets,” he began softly, his voice still managing to sound a bit otherworldly even without the sound tricks used on the record.
“Just like my favorite scenes
Then holding hands and life was perfect,
Just like up on the screen”
He held his hand out as if to hold someone’s hand while his voice rose slightly in pitch at those lines but it only hovered in the air as he continued singing. His eyes swept over Defne and she just gaped at him, awe evident on her face. She couldn’t believe he was singing for her. When she was able to shake herself out of it and smile softly, he had already moved onto the next lines, walking from one side of the stage to the other oh-so-very-slowly.
“And the whole time while always giving,
Counting your face among the living”
By the time he moved onto the next worse, Defne had started singing the lyrics along with him. She had already been elbowed by Devon, who had just smirked at her when she’d turned to look at him. After that she had eyes for only one person and that was that. She watched him like she’d never watched him before. His liquid movements and his pure voice. So graceful. So beautiful. So sad…
“Up and down escalators,
Pennies and colder fountains
Elevators and half price sales,
Trapped in by all these mountains”
His voice rose a bit again and gained that miserable quality. Ray was playing a matching haunting melody.
“Running away and hiding with you
I never thought they'd get me here
Not knowing you'd change from just one bite
I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight”
She almost felt it in her bones. On her body. Him holding her close. And tight. She could only sigh. She’d never felt anything resembling this, before. Maybe she’d never been in love before. Or maybe… It was just Gerard. He was Gerard. And he made her feel. Like no one else did. The very essence of that man…
And she knew she’d fight them all off too, just to be with him. Together, they’d never let anyone get them. Ever.
“But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts…”
His hand was shaped into a gun and he pressed the barrel against his head as he cried:
“to put this to your head...”
"But would anything matter if you're already dead?
And well should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...”
His voice caught at the word “trigger”.
“But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?
And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
And would anything matter if you're already dead?”
His cries were a lot more desperate now. He started practically wailing and the music kept tensing up and up and upper still. Ray was playing faster. Frank was writhing on the floor. Bob was beating his drums furiously. Mikey’s head was hanging low.
”And now should I be shocked by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,
And these words changing nothing”
“As your body remains,” he screamed and his pain-filled voice rang out in the venue.
Then he was lost.
It all broke down as the music started to descend. Breaking point.
“And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
And our memories defeat us,
And I'll end this to rest.”
”But does anyone notice?
But does anyone care?”
He screamed out in a desperate plea and there were suddenly tears in Defne’s eyes. She didn’t know how they’d gotten there.
The music slowly began to cool down.
”And if I had the guts to put this to your head...
But does anything matter if you're already dead?
And should I be shocked now by the last thing you said?
Before I pull this trigger,
Your eyes vacant and stained...
And in saying you loved me,
Made things harder at best,"
“And these words changing nothing
As your body remains…” he throated out, spitting all over the stage with a crazy look in his eyes.
He dropped to his knees as the sound of the music faded away and gave room to his voice to be heard more clearly. His head hung low, his sweat covered hair clung to his forehead and he breathed into the microphone, his eyes clenched shut.
“And there's no room in this hell,
There's no room in the next,
But does anyone notice – ”
He tore out the words from his throat. Filled with so much pain and desperation. He opened his eyes slowly. The first thing he saw was her wide damp eyes and he blinked at them slowly. Crawled forward on his knees and one hand a bit and stared at her intensely.
“ – there's a corpse in this bed?” he ended the song with a long wail. He held her gaze for one more moment before throwing his head back and breathing freely as the crowd exploded.
People were crying. People were trying to hold themselves from crying. People were screaming.
It was amazing.
-----------
Later, when Defne was a bit out of the strange effect of the song, Devon leaned against her ear and whisper-shouted:
“You noticed he killed you at the end of the song, right?”
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She didn’t know how she ran backstage that fast. She didn’t know if he’d been waiting for her. But he smiled sheepishly at her flaming eyes and scratched the back of his neck with one hand when he first saw her.
She didn’t run into his arms. No. She wasn’t that dramatic. Instead, she moved to sit down on the couch next to him and kept glancing between his eyes and her lap continuously. Until she placed a trembling hand on top of his and squeezed. By that time, the room had cleared out. They had so very sympathetic friends.
She finally steadied her gaze on his eyes and murmured in a low awe-filled voice.
“That was really intense.”
Gerard nodded silently, clamping his other hand on their intertwined hands.
“It was. I mean, for me too,” he breathed.
She beamed back at him and brought her free hand to hold his chin, to be able to look at his face forever. Then she slowly closed her eyes and parted her lips, leaning in. Gerard met her halfway. And they kissed.
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Defne fumbled at the lock with the key-card as Gerard sucked on the nape of her neck, his body plastered against her back, his hands running up and down her body urgently. She cursed her way through the process and when it didn’t help, got ready to kick the door open.
Surprisingly, as if the thought had scared the stubborn door, the lock clicked open and a second later, it clicked shut again.
Gerard pressed Defne against the back of the hotel room door and this time started to suck on her collar bone as she desperately tried to hold onto his shoulders.
It was pitch dark and she couldn’t see anything but she could feel. Feel his mouth fastened to her soft skin. Feel his hands roaming over her body as if unsure where to settle and discover first. She could hear the wet sucking noises coming from his lips; she could hear his appreciative hums. She could feel him hard and wanting against her body. She could feel her hands trembling as they swept over his shoulders and down his back. She could feel his skin burning hot against her sensitive fingertips as her hands slipped under the hem of his t-shirt.
But still she wanted to see. To see that gorgeous pale body. To watch those elegant artist fingers as they touched her. To see those honey-coated eyes, to know if they ever got darker with passion.
“Gerard!” she gasped finally.
He flicked his tongue against her skin.
She panted and tried once more.
“Gerard!”
“Hmmmmm…” was all that came from the busy singer. He had moved onto the other side of her neck now and was sucking so hard that she knew there’d be a hickey on her neck tomorrow morning. And he was nipping at her soft skin with soft motions of his little teeth and she had to chuckle. Gerard apparently had an enormous vampire fetish. She could relate to that.
“The lights…” she managed.
“Hmmmmmmm…”
Finally she grabbed his head with her two hands and detached his mouth from her skin, bringing his head up to face him; except she couldn’t see anything. She fumbled to find his lips and planted a sloppy kiss on them once she did, then pulled back forcefully.
“I need to turn on the lights,” she muttered in explanation but he didn’t want to let her go. He grabbed her by the arm and didn’t have any trouble finding her lips and they both moaned into the kiss.
Until Defne pulled back once again and Gerard actually growled.
“I want to see you,” she stated and felt around in the dark to find the card-holding-thingy to place the card in. She gave a triumphant cry once she did and quickly put the key-card in its place and voila: The lights were on. Finally.
She turned around to look at Gerard. And yes. His eyes were darker.
She sighed loudly at the sight and made a move to go to him but he was quicker. He was suddenly in front of her. She grinned, tilting her head back. He took the hint and kissed her like a starved man. As if he’d been dead for years and he’d only just turned back from the other side. Hungry for a woman. No. Hungry for her. Only her.
She kept moving forward and finally backed him against a wall and he grunted at the collision of his back with the hard surface. She grabbed his hands and intertwined them with hers, bringing their joined limbs up over their heads and pressing her body more forcefully onto his. She could hear, no feel, his heart thumping excitedly against her breasts and it made her own heart jump with glee in its bone cage.
She wanted to crawl into his mouth. Move down his throat. Touch those vocal chords that produced sounds beyond every other beautiful sound she had ever heard. She kissed him with those intentions running in her veins. Corrupting her. Possessing her. She tasted the lingering scent of cigarettes in his mouth and the faint aroma of bitter chocolate he had probably eaten that night. She lapped at his mouth until they had to break the kiss to stay alive.
Their chests furiously moved up and down together, in an enchanting synchronized motion. Finally, Gerard broke the hold she had on his hands and trailed his fingertips down her pale arms to her shoulders and in the end, to her waist. He kneaded the soft flesh of her sides over the material of her shirt and she panted, struggling for proper breaths. Leaning forward, she licked his ear lobe and he shivered for her. His hands traveled upwards to the buttons of her black button-down shirt as she started sucking on his ear, all the while humming around the creamy flesh appreciatively.
His hands kept trembling as he stared at the skin he was slowly revealing inch by inch. Her deep desperate breaths made her soft white breasts rise up and down and he was hypnotized by the beauty of them. He blinked big hazel eyes and ducked his head to pepper kisses along her cleavage. She gasped and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to hold on.
When he was finished with the buttons, he gently unhooked her arms from around his neck and slid her shirt down to the floor. He kept his hold on her hands and stared at her. Her dark hair fell freely to her now bare shoulders. Wonderfully dark in contrast with the paleness of her skin. They were so long that they could have covered her breasts. But her black bra was already doing the job. Gerard almost regretted not having gotten rid of the bra, too. He struggled to tear his eyes from her torso and fixated them on her face. Her lips were red and swollen from all that hungry kissing. And the look in her eyes… He could have sworn he saw flames in her irises.
Defne smiled at his awed expression and ducked her head shyly, tugging on his hand a little and taking a few steps back.
He shook his head and breathed out softly:
“So beautiful…”
She bit her lip and released his hands, turning her back and slowly making her way to the queen-sized bed. She shot him a look over her shoulder and smiled, whispering as she took in his disheveled appearance: “You are…”
Gerard’s eyes were almost as enormous as a gazelle’s as he stared with his mouth open then let out a soft “Oh…”
Defne gave a low continuous chuckle as she slowly crawled onto the bed. She had started to enjoy teasing him very much. After undoing the clasp of her bra she gathered her thick hair in one hand and threw it over one shoulder to give him a better view of her back and kept watching him over her other shoulder.
His face… the expression on that angelic face. She couldn’t keep herself from simpering. She just couldn’t wipe that stupid grin off her face. He had that inevitable effect on her nervous system. She could never get enough of just staring at him. At his face. With those high sculpted cheekbones and that little up-turned tip of his graceful nose. With his kiss-swollen pinkish lips and full cheeks. And with those gorgeously enormous color-changing eyes of his. With all that soft black hair curling around that pretty visage, stroking the sides of his neck with silken whispers. She gave a loud loud sigh and thought that if she looked at him forever, taking in every single detail there was to take… Then she would think such perfection could not have formed on its own. And maybe then, she could almost gain faith in a God. Almost.
“I had no idea you had a tattoo,” whispered Gerard breathily, slowly approaching her.
“Most people don’t. My hair always covers the upper part of it and my shirts cover the rest.”
Gerard’s eyes were focused on her back. On all that dark ink adorning it. She had a black and gray toned tattoo that covered her whole back. His artist side reveled in the beauty of it. He’d always adored Frank’s tattoos, too. Especially those graceful sparrows… And now. He had no words for the sight in front of him. He was only able to raise a hesitant finger to touch it.
A huge black tree covered most of her back. Its branches long and crooked, reaching out in every direction, ghosting over the round sweep of her shoulders. Strangely, it looked dead –there were no leaves in sight. In the background there were smoky mountains with a huge full moon above them. And right before where the tree’s multiple roots entered the dark ground, on her lower back, close to her hips, was a grave with a simple headstone. The whole picture was consuming but the most striking part of it was the figure of a woman trying to crawl out of the grave. The ground looked as if it was trying to eat her, devour her, swallow her down but she was struggling. Her head and one of her arms was completely out of the ground whereas her legs seemed to be still struggling to get out. Dark blood was gliding down her pale arms – she had torn her nails while trying to claw her way out. On the gravestone two words shone under the eerie light of the moon: “DIE NEVER”
Gerard’s fingertips trailed along the dead branches of the tree and he realized there were tiny blossoms at the lower branches closer to the grave. It seemed like everything was coming to life, somehow. Near a grave. He unconsciously smiled at the irony. Then he let his hands travel lower and lower. Caressing the stone. The grave. The girl. He kneeled carefully on the bed and planted a kiss on the head of the woman figure. Defne shivered. He smiled against her inked skin.
“I like this,” he muttered.
“Mmhhmmm” was the response he got. He smirked to himself and licked a clean long wet line all along her spine. She arched back and whimpered involuntarily: “Gerard!”
He moved to take off her already unclasped bra and she turned around to help him. At the same time she grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and tugged at it impatiently. He raised his arms and she got rid of his t-shirt. Then she lied back on the bed. Her hair spilt in every direction on the white sheets and they just stared at each other. For a long time. In silence.
Until Gerard’s voice sliced through that silence all of a sudden.
“I can’t help but be in love with you,” spilt from his lips without a thought. As if he was only talking to himself.
Her eyes glistened, her hand shot up to caress the side of his face and her chest shook with flooding emotions.
“Me neither.” She shook her head. “I love you.”
Then Gerard moved and straddled her waist, ducking his head down to once again claim her lips as his. She arched up to meet him and hissed heatedly as their naked upper bodies touched. Her hands kneaded the pale flesh of his torso as his cupped the softness of her breasts. She moaned as he kept teasing her and then she flipped them over in a swift movement when it became all too much to bear. Her hair swept his torso as she straightened herself to sit on his thighs and he groaned. She cupped him through his jeans and his hips jerked upwards.
“Uhhhhh! Defne…”
She grinned at his helpless voice and started licking his stomach. She lapped at his navel and dipped her tongue a little lower every time she passed by the waistband of his jeans. Until he tugged at them helplessly to get them off. Her fingers slipped under the fabric and he cried out. Then he suddenly flipped them over once again so he was on top.
“You’re… such a. Such a… tease…” he panted as his hands worked at the buttons of her jeans. She sucked in a breath as he peeled them of her legs slowly. Then she couldn’t take his incredible patience anymore and kicked them off the remaining way. He chuckled but still couldn’t help staring at her. Touching her. Kissing her. Everywhere. Everywhere he could reach.
In a blur of motions his jeans joined Defne’s on the ground. Their underwear followed.
Apparently, Gerard was a curser. He cursed and cursed and hung onto her hair for dear life as she lost control completely, losing her English and chanting incoherently in Turkish. She dug her black-painted nails into his sides and clamped her mouth on his neck as the sensation of him filling her got unbearable. So much that she could have turned into pure energy. Into a blinking, shining ball of light, floating in the night. Pure bliss.
And still he kept going. He kept screaming and crying out with her. Watched her head toss and turn. Then shoot up, catch his lips. Never let go. He fought the tightness of her. Now, he was close. Closer. He couldn’t… He had to. The slight pain in his back brought him back from the edge. Her nails. But the pain turned him on even more. He suddenly deepened the angle and hit something inside her. He could feel it, too. He placed one hand on her lower stomach and pressed, making her give a loud wild cry. And then she was everywhere. Her hair, her arms, her legs. Everywhere. Coming so intensely that she toppled him down into his own release. His hand felt the convulsions under her skin as he kept it placed tight on her belly. His cock felt the lingering contractions of her walls around him.
And he collapsed on top of her.
Sweaty. And. Breathy.
Drained. And. Spent.
Gratified. And. Loved.
It took her a long while to come down from her high. When she finally did, though, she brought a trembling hand to grasp the back of his head and turned his head up to face her, his chin resting on the valley between her breasts.
He blinked back heavy eyelids at her and she smiled, fluttering her own eyes to be able to see him properly.
“Seni seviyorum,” she murmured, her breath still catching a bit in her throat.
And Gerard understood. Even though he didn’t know one word in Turkish, he knew what she’d said. He kept his eyes on her dark orbs and placed a gentle kiss right over her heart before asking:
“And how do you say ‘I love you, too’, exactly?”
Her eyes sparkled as her smile grew even wider and she answered, her voice full of joy.
“‘Ben de seni seviyorum.’”
Gerard frowned a bit at the pronounciation but then gave her a dorky smile as he said the words.
“Ben de seni seviyorum.”
She giggled childishly and lifted her head up to kiss his forehead sweetly.
They fell asleep with Gerard’s head nestled between the comfy pillow of Defne’s breasts. Her heart beating against his cheek – reassuring him of her comforting presence. His knee between her legs. Her hands tangled in his hair. His breaths hitting her on the chest – warming her up from the inside.
So tangled in each other.
So close.
A/N: I seriously have no idea how these chapters turn out to be so freakishly long!
Hmmm, so... It's my first time writing something graphic like this so I'm not really sure if it's good or not. But I hope you like the chapter. With all the lovemaking and the song and all... I mean, yeah, I guess if there was gonna be a love song sung, it would have been Demolition Lovers but I thought it would be too cliche. Yet, I love the song and its poetic tragedy. But it might be a little overused. And the fact that Gerard wrote that love song for an actual "other" woman wouldn't fit so good I guess, so... And Early Sunsets is one of my countless favorite MCR songs so I chose it. It's somehow really really different from all of their other songs. With Gerard's distant otherworldly voice and those sweetest guitar riffs. So light and happy at the beginning but gets darker and darker to the end. Miserable. With desperate cries. I dunno. And one line I love: "There's no room in this hell. There's no room in the next."
Okay, now even the author's note is freakishly long so I'm stopping. Tell me what you think. Or I might die from feedbacklessness. Rate and/or review as usual. And my heart will flutter in its cage =P
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P.S. Also, anyone like the tattoo? Now that I've gone into the trouble of imagining and sketching all that, I might get it inked on my back sometime, who knows?
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