FicWad

ok so i was bored. i'm not really into Naruto like i used to be, but this was in my head and i needed to get it out. i tried to make em a little crazy but i think i failed. miserably.

this is like to months old now so ya that too.
--

"He's g-gone, Naruto. Gone."

He looks up from his desk, papers strewn about haphazardly. "What the hell are you talking about, Sakura? I'm busy."

Sakura chokes back a sob, chest heaving in pain. "N-naruto, Sasuke...he's dead. H-h-he was in an acci-acci-"

He stands with the grace of a dreaming man. "What? Are you joking, Sakura? If you are, then that's really sick."

She shakes her head and blubbers something incomprehensible and Naruto starts to worry. "Okay, what do you mean Sasuke is dead?" Naruto can see her trembling and suddenly what he said echoes back and knocks him smack in the face. "Oh my god, are you serious? Sasuke? Dea-gone?"

With a final, wrenching sigh Sakura breaks and throws herself at Naruto, tears streaking her face. "This mm-morning. He w-was shot, oh god someone shot Sasuke, r-right in the middle of the goddamned street -" Naruto feels his knees weaken. Something twists his gut in a very uncomfortable way.

"How did you find this out? Are you sure? Who would shoot Sasuke?" In any other situation, Naruto would have laughed at his last statement but there is a picture in his head of Sasuke's brains blown out on the cool early asphalt. He is trying very hard to stay calm and manages to drag them both to the couch. Sakura clingclutchsmothers him on top of the old green sofa.

"The police c-called me," she hiccups, her face buried in Naruto's chest. "Kiba...he was first to the scene. He s-said that he shouldn't of been allowed there, he's a K-9 cop you know, but he t-told them it was personal and shit I can't believe..." Whatever she was saying was lost in a dry heave against Naruto's shirt.

Naruto closes his eyes and throws his head back against old musty cushions. "Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck." There are pings against the back of his eyelids and he will not cry, not here, not while Sakura needs him-

--

Sometime later when they feel like children and old men and the last step before the cliff, they make it to the table. Sakura grips her mug of coffee like it is the only thing keeping her sane and Naruto thinks it just might be. He can't handle sitting, can't handle the casualness of two people talking over drinks, and so he stands with his back pressed into his yellowing counter.

He spares a glance away from the steam rising from his tea and absorbs his house. The laminate kitchen floor is peeling, the trash is overflowing, and the T.V. is so dusty it is a wonder that they can even see the droning news anchor through it. All of a sudden a bitter, weary, almost-hysterical-but-already-past-that-line laugh forces its way out of his throat.

Sakura glares at him through bloodshot eyes. "What's so funny?" she tries to snap, though her voice cracks strangely.

"I...I was thinking about how Sasuke hated coming over here." Naruto smiles, a sad sweet twitch of his lips. "He always complained about how I never cleaned up. He said-he said one day my house would come alive and eat me for not taking care of it."

Giggling, Sakura leans her forehead on the cool tabletop. "He was a neat freak, wasn't he?" The past tense catches up to them and Sakura shatters again. This time Naruto doesn't move to catch her.

He is too busy falling, himself.

--

"Kiba, I need to see his body."

Kiba stoutly refuses, features scrunching in determination. "Uh-uh, Naruto. You're one of my best friends, but I can't do that for you."

Naruto looks around the busy police station, his eyes distant and thoughtless. His face has thinned already and he looks years older. Akumaru whines at Kiba's side.

"NO, Akumaru. I can't let him in there. He's not immediate family."

Balling his fists in frustration, Naruto glares viciously at Kiba, who refuses to look back. "Listen to me, Kiba," he hisses, his eyes flecked with red. The big dog whimpers and bumps against his partner. "I'm going to see Sasuke, one way or another. If you won't help me, I'll do it myself."

The brunette bites his lip and looks down at his dog's furry back. Shaking his head, he whispers, "I'm sorry, Naruto. It's not in my jurisdiction."

"Well, fuck your jurisdiction," Naruto shoots before spinning away. He is already halfway down the hallway before Kiba calls to him.

"Hey, Uzumaki!" Naruto freezes and turns back, his face hard.

Kiba sighs and glances up at him. "I, um. I think I can get you in there to see him."

Naruto nods grimly but doesn't smile. He watches impassively as Kiba walks away, finding the captain in the middle of the loud room. Something warm presses against the blonde's legs, and he is surprised to look down and see Akumaru. Absently he kneels and pets the dog, his eyes straying to where Kiba is pleading with his superior. After several terse minutes, Kiba makes his way back over.

"You can see him," he states wearily. Before Naruto can stand, however, Akumaru grabs his hand gently in his jaws. Naruto looks at the dog, into his eyes, and he almost starts to cry. Akumaru lets him go and trots obediently to silent Kiba's side.

Naruto follows Kiba through bustling corridors, deeper and deeper through a maze that quickly loses his attention. Thankfully the brunette does not try any small talk and after a quick, quiet infinity they have reached an airtight door. Naruto cannot bring himself to look through the long glass window into the room.

Kiba knocks on the door and it is quickly opened by an aproned, bespectacled young intern. Kiba pushes past him, gesturing vaguely to Naruto, and when the intern sees the blonde's dying face he stops sputtering about a dog in the morgue.

"Kiba Inuzuka, K-9 Forces," mutters the brunette. Clapping gloved hands, the intern practically squeals.

"Kiba? The Kiba, who tracked a man halfway across New York by his scent alone? The Kiba who has on his own found twenty-four bodies and seven missing kids? The Kiba who-"

"Yeah." Kiba replies sheepishly, blushing. "That's me." Naruto quirks an eyebrow curiously, annoyed and also very grateful for the stall before he has to see...see...

Akumaru growls warningly and Kiba instantly sobers up. "Um. We're here to see the body of Sasuke Uchiha."

"Oh. Right." Naruto watches with amazement as the kid nonchalantly walks over to the wall, hand gliding over locked doors carelessly. He finds the correct door and sticks his key in the lock.

The sound of the key twisting is a gunshot in the sudden silence and Naruto gulps. Kiba's eyes are wide as he looks at his friend.

"Naruto, I'm going to tell you this straight up," he starts as the morgue-boy waits patiently to pull out the corpse. "This is fucking weird, okay? The whole situation. And...whatever you see beneath that blanket, please promise me one thing." He doesn't bother waiting for a response. "Please...forget about Sasuke. For Sakura's sake, never say his name again. And for your sake, as well."

Naruto gazes at Kiba as though the brunette had sprouted an extra head. "I want to see him now." His voice is cold and ice-thin.

Whistling, the intern pulls out the slider that Sasuke rests on. A blanket covers the entire length of the corpse. Naruto throws out a hand to pull it off but pauses inches above the lump of Sasuke's head. Blue eyes cloud and darken. The intern turns away, his whistling long stopped, and Naruto draws back the cover with his breath held.

For a long time he can only stare, expressionless. Finally, as the cold of the room settles in his marrow, he cries.

--

It does not rain the day of Sasuke's funeral.

It is a blindingly gorgeous day, mockingly so. Naruto can fell sweat running down his spine beneath his layers of black tuxedo. 'Bastard makes me waste my money,' he thinks glumly, plucking at the crisp suit. Sakura wraps her arms around his, barely shivering.

An ant crawls onto his shoe and he fidgets loudly. The old woman next to him, some faceless stranger he knows Sasuke never knew, mistakes his twitching for a strange form of grieving and pats him gently on the arm. Naruto slows and gapes at her, but she has already turned away, sniffling. The blonde rolls his eyes and glares at the minister.

He never knew a eulogy could last over an hour, but apparently Sasuke Uchiha deserves speeches even in death. Naruto spends his time reminiscing and staring listlessly at the beautiful marble tombstone that graces Sasuke's final resting place. As the minister finishes with a prayer, he rouses himself and makes to leave.

Sakura grabs him. "Where are you going?" She whispers fiercely, eyes dull from crying. Naruto looks around and sees people glancing at him expectantly.

"Naruto Uzumaki?" The minister calls gently. Naruto arches his eyebrows. "It is known that you were the person closest to Mr. Uchiha, so it would be fitting for you to begin the final viewing."

Azure widen in shock and something close to anger. "Sakura," he mutters dangerously, but before he can protest she elbows him forward.

Naruto steps back up to Sasuke's grave with stiff legs and can feel tears threatening. "Yeah." he finally replies, too loud for the quiet graveyard. "I got something to say to the sonofabitch." A few gasps permeate the lead-laden air.

Squaring his shoulders, the blonde gives the freshly-turned earth in front of the tombstone a livid sneer. "Sasuke, you fucker, don't you dare come near me again. Ever." He spits on the grave marker eloquently and stalks off while Sakura faints to the hot, seething grass.

Naruto refuses to hesitate at the gates of the graveyard. He knows there is no body under that tombstone.

--

"No, that is no good. Look at all the mistakes you made - where has your grammar gone? Huh?"

The AC buzzes furiously from the window over his head. Naruto throws an old cup at it and it quiets. "But I tried, I really did," he mutters back to no one in particular, eyes fixated on his paperwork. "New system and all, and I have no idea how to format these papers..."

"Yes you do," he says again, face darkening in rage. "You read the manual a thousand times, stupid boy. Why can't you do this? It's so simple, even an idiot like you should be able to handle it."

With a sigh Naruto drops his head to his desk. The AC has reached a pitch that woulda burst Kiba's eardrums but Naruto can't bring himself to shut the damned thing off. It is boiling outside and even indoors the blonde feels like he is melting. “You have better things you could be doing,” he hisses at himself. He doesn’t know who he is arguing with but he is going crazy anyway. “The Boss has jobs for you, and you know it. You could go back. They loved you; punishment wouldn’t be that bad…”

He drags himself out of his chair and stumbles to the kitchen. Opening the freezer door, Naruto just lets the cool air rush over his flushed face. “Why is it so goddamned hot?” he mutters before answering himself. “You could fix that, you know. New windows, insulate the attic, replace the fuckin air conditioner. It wouldn’t be hard if you weren’t so lazy, you worthless piece of shit.”

“I agree.” Naruto stiffens and widens his eyes at the ice cream container sagging in the corner of the freezer. “That AC is how old now? Fifteen, twenty years?”

He closes the door with rough jerks of his arm. “Sasuke, I thought I told you to never come near me again.” He won’t turn around, won’t look at the apparition, at Death, at the ghost smirking from his kitchen counter.

Naruto doesn’t have to turn around, though. Sasuke turns him around himself, pale hands on the blonde’s hips, pulling him around until they are face-to-fucking-face. Dark eyes search blue, hungry lazy blank, snake eyes. Naruto shivers and can only look away.

“Miss me?” Sasuke whispers, slow and languid, and Naruto snaps. He throws fist after fist, snarling whenever his knuckles strike flesh, but the taller man dodges most of his attacks with amused ease.

The blonde slams into the stove when Sasuke sidesteps, and he leans there, eyes closed and breath hiked. “I’ll take that as a yes,” drawls Sasuke, just to be an ass, but Naruto doesn’t have any fight left. Instead he sinks to his yellowing old-rat floor.

“Why did you have to come back?” he whispers, body shaking. Sasuke sits down in front of him, his feet hitting the cabinets on either side of the blonde. He sneers.

“I always come back, don’t I?” Sasuke’s tone is bitter as he glares at Naruto. “No matter how hard I try, I end up here. With you.” Venom laces the air and Naruto chuckles sadly.

“Me, me. I’m too much for you, ain’t I, you bastard?” Naruto slips out between bared teeth. Sasuke growls and shoves forward, smashing his lips against the blonde’s.

Naruto hisses and bites the brunette back, savoring the blood that dribbles down their chins. Grabbing Naruto’s arms and pinning awkwardly against the cabinetry, Sasuke slides forward until he is straddling the blonde.

His shirt rucked up behind him, Naruto feels sweat slip down his stomach and shoves Sasuke away. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he shouts through bruised lips, hauling himself upright. Sasuke stands, a pretty red-blue welt under his jaw. “Where the fuck did that come fr-” But Sasuke is kissing him again and Naruto fights back with his mouth.

They lurch out of the kitchen, bodies interlocked and squirming. Sasuke finds himself slammed against the back of the couch. All dignity is lost. They are years younger, searching hands and questing teeth, nails raking each other’s skin and fingers ripping off shirts.

“You’re a traitor,” one of them whispers, though neither understands who said it. They both are. “You left, just up an’ left, in the middle of a job-”

Naruto loses a battle in his head - someone, a child, much more innocent begs him not to do this and something, an animal, kills that little boy. He thrusts his hands under the hem of the other man’s dark jeans, pinching and caressing any skin he can find. Sasuke groans against Naruto’s neck and bites, drawing blood.

They crash backwards even as they press closer. A vase falls, shatters, and Naruto collapses onto the shards with a whimpermoan. Sasuke tugs off both their pants and his pale knees cry against the disaster on the old tile. Grabbing a piece of ceramic, he slices it down Naruto’s exposed thigh, grinning with bloody lips as the blonde arches up against the pain.

Arms flailing for support, anything, Naruto finds Sasuke’s discarded jeans and grasps something hard. He knows just by the cold bite of metal what it is and brings it up to his head.

Sasuke pauses when Naruto puts the handgun up to his temple, the muzzle resting against his blonde hair. Naruto sneers at the brunette.

“What would you do?” he murmurs, voice husky and cracking. He leans up into Sasuke, their groins rubbing together. The gun is his, Naruto knows. He remembers every inch of her surface and she ain’t a virgin. “If I shot myself? Right now?”

Sasuke reaches out, kisses the gun, licks the edge where her icy maw merges with the blonde’s skull. “I’d say,” he begins, breath sighing over the blonde’s ear, “I’d say, thank you for doing my job for me.”

Before the blonde can grin and pull the trigger, the front door swings open. “I’m here, Naru-” Sakura’s voice dies when she sees what lies beyond the foyer. Sasuke, dead fucking gone Sasuke, lying on top of Naruto, both bleeding, almost naked, and a gun. She drops the groceries in her arms. The gun. Oh god, she thinks, oh Mary Jesus Joseph Naruto has a gun –

There are tears in her eyes as she looks at Sasuke, her mouth working but no sound coming to fill the silence. “N-naruto,” she finally manages, pleading with him. He grins, his lip swollen on the left side.

“Yeah, Sakura?” There’s a million things she should say – why is he alive, why is he here, did you take your pills, why are you two fucking in the living room – but instead she fixes her composure, turns around, and walks out the door, spilled groceries on the floor.

Naruto and Sasuke watch her leave, watch each other, say nothing. Sasuke can see the pill bottles on the floor, onetwothreefour different ones. The blonde laughs.

“You stole my girlfriend,” Sasuke comments, bewildered. “I leave for a few months and you son of a bitch, you have my girl.”

Naruto runs a hand up Sasuke’s spine, feeling the goose bumps. The air is stifling, heavy, angry. He smirks. “She makes a good fuck, you know? And you fucking stole my gun when you left. Do I even want to know where you went with it?”

Sasuke is getting hot and clammy all at once. The heat is frying his brain but doing nothing for his erection. Still he closes in on Naruto, trailing bite marks down his chest.

“Hey Sasuke?” Naruto queries. His eyes have failed, pupils dilating hugely. He accentuates every syllable with a careless wave of the gun. “We’re pretty fucked up, aren’t we?”

Sasuke smirks and pulls off Naruto’s boxers. With a growl Naruto tosses his gun aside and grabs Sasuke’s hips with bruising fingers.

The gun can wait for a little while, the blonde decides. He knows there are two bullets in the barrel.