Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > My Little Stray.
New chapter! Hay hay hay. Anyways. I'm in a mostly good mood. Other than the fact that I'm at my dad's right now everything is pretty dandy! =) I should have another update before the end of the week. =DD Good for me! Woopdy freaking doo snatches. So yeah. My little caffeine withdrawal things have stopped and I'm thinking clearly for the most part!
-Finch
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I stared down at Gerard and Donna in shock. Pitiful short wines erupted from Gerard's mouth. He held his mother close and sobbed dryly into her chest. I just stood there like a complete idiot, watching the tragedy I had caused. If only I hadn't fucking come outside. If only I hadn't fucking been in Gee's house. It was from that moment forth that I decided that Gerard would have been better off if he had never met me.
"Gerard..." I said quietly.
He couldn't hear me though. His sobs were soft now, but his body shook and convulsed madly. He and his mother were really close and I tore her away from him. What kind of horrible monster was I? What was I going to do now? At that moment I realized that Mikey was standing next to me. The same look of shock on his face. His voice trembled,
"M-mom?"
Mikey's eyes started watering. I was in a load of shit now.
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It had been a week since Donna was shot. Gerard and Mikey rarely came out of their rooms and their father spent most of his time out and about, signing papers or getting drunk off his ass. It wasn't like any of them to be like this. But then again what could you expect after the death of someone as wonderful as Donna? I had just been skulking around, sleeping mostly. Since there was no one around to notice much I started cutting myself. I wanted to punish myself for what I did to this family. It was all my damn fault that everyone was fucked up or dead. Everywhere I went I just seemed to ruin lives. I wanted to punish myself without killing myself, seeing as I still had a score to settle with Jay. After that I could finally rest in peace.
Mikey talked to me less than ever. In fact, he stayed completely silent when he was around me. I had to tell the police what had happened, but Gerard, Mikey, and their father didn't really know the whole story. I didn't mention being raped to the police. It's more embarassing than you think to be raped and have to tell someone. The only reason I told Gerard was... I guess... I love him. But I'm still really confused about that. Besides, he couldn't love me when he knows virtually nothing about me. Things don't just fall into place like that. In fact right now things are falling horribly out of place. And I'll say it again. It's my fucking fault. It's my fault! I deserve to be dead.
The funeral was the next day. I was attending. Maybe they thought I should go as some sort of punishment. I'll have to watch all of Donna's friends and family talk about how much they would miss her. Not to mention all the dirty glances I would most likely be recieving. But I deserved it all. I can't wait until Jay's dead and gone so I can just fucking die. I don't think Gerard would mind that much. Afterall he barely knew me, and I killed his mother. Within these past few days I had lost a lot of blood, and was looking rather pale, it was obvious even to me. Luckily no one else cared much so I could keep doing it.
I sat there organizing DVDs when I heard the door down the hall open. My hear skipped a beat. I heard a deep sigh. His breathing was so fucking recognizable. Gerard had finally woken up at three o' clock in the afternoon. His footsteps got closer and closer. I tried to keep organizing the DVDs but my mind scattered and I forgot what I was doing for a second. My hands stopped moving as he came into the room. My heartbeat was so loud, I could hear everthing so clearly as that moment. Gerard stood there, mere feet away from me, his hair all messy and his eyes tired and sad. He wore nothing but a black t-shirt and some plaid blue boxers. God how I would love to wake up to that.
"Frankie..." His voice was quiet and weak.
"We need to... talk." He uttered the words that I was dreading.
I stil I took a deep breathe in, then slowly let it out.
"I'll be back out in a second." He said softly.
I fell back onto the floor and rolled to my side. Staring the the hair fallen in my face. I played with it a little before sighing heavily. What in the world was I going to do with myself? What was I going to tell Gerard? I wonder if he wanted to talk to me about all the lies that he saw through. I wonder if he put the pieces together. I wonder if he could find it in his heart to believe the story I was going to tell him. At that moment I decided that I was going to tell him about my life. I was going to tell him everything about me and how I got here.
"Frank?" My thought were interrupted.
"Yeah." I said, standing myself up slowly.
Gerard was fully dressed in black with the exeption of a pair of white converse.
"Let's go for a drive."
And with that Gerard and I headed out the door.
-----
We had been driving for a while, but then again I wouldn't know seeing as I was asleep. I fell asleep to the music on the radio, not worrying where Gerard was taking me. He could be taking me to the middle of some forest to kill me for all I knew. No. Gerard wouldn't do that, even I knew that. I felt a cold hand on arm as the car came to a stop. We were at the beach. The sky was gray and the waves were menacing looking. Although I enjoyed the sunny days at the beach, I could appreciate the saddening days like this one too. Gerard was good at setting moods for things I had found.
"We're here." He said turning the car off.
Before opening the door he looked back at me with his glazed and amazingly hazel eyes. I gave a sad smirk and proceeded to open the door slowly. Gerard did the same. I stood and leaned agaist the car, my hands in my pockets trying to escape the cold air. I watched my breathe in the air in front of me, damn it was cold. Gerard made his way around the car and stood in front of me for a few seconds, waiting for me to look up at him. Eventually I caved in and looked into his beautiful eyes. I couldn't help but tear up.
"I'm so sorry Gerard." I whispered.
"Let's go for a walk." HE said without a reply.
He turned and walked down the old wooden stairs and onto the wet send below. I followed close behind, not wanting to lose sight of him and be stuck on the beach alone. The sand made a small crunching noise beneath my feet as I followed in Gerard's footsteps. He was taller than me and his strides were longer, so I kind of hopped along them. I came crashing into Gerard's body as he stopped and scanned along the ocean. He looked troubled, but who could blame him? He sat down in the sand and crossed his legs at his ankles, wrapping his arms around his knees loosely. I sat down next to him and leaned back into my palms, my legs sticking out straight in front of me.
"It wasn't your fault." Did I hear him correctly?
"What?" I whispered, almost in a scoff.
"It wasn't your fault Frankie." He told me, still staring off into the ocean.
"Gerard how was that not my fault?" I asked, tapping one shoe with the other.
"You weren't the one with the gun Frank. You weren't the one who put yourself in this situation." I held my tongue as not to interrupt him.
"Gerard, if I wasn't in your house. If I hadn't chose shelter there like a dumbass then Jay wouldn't have even followed us there! Your mom would still be alive..." I was completely shocked that Gerard didn't think that this was my fault.
Gerard looked in the other direction, down the beach. He let out a sigh before turning to actually look at me.
"I just can't let you take the blame. It's not right." He told me, a look a pure pain in his eyes.
It was one of those moments where you realize just how much someone cares for you. When you realize that they don't care about anything else, they just know that they love you and that they'll do anything for you. I had never received that look in my whole entire life, not even from my own parents. That was when I decided that I had to tell him everything that I had been hiding. For a moment I just sat there and stared at him, taking in the loving expression like it was the last time I might see it.
"Gerard... There's some things you need to know about me." I looked up into the cloudy sky, please don't rain.
Gerard just kept staring at me, waiting for me to continue.
"Since I've been living with you I've found out so much about you. You're all around... amazing I guess. I don't understand how someone like you could ever care at all about someone like me. Care about me enough to deny that their mother's own death wasn't my fault-" I stopped and thought for a second.
His mother was probably a touchy subject. I should stay away from that.
"Look. There's one thing that above all you should know about me." I stopped talking and looked out onto the ocean.
"That day when you met me in the coffee shop... I am-was... Homeless." I said it quietly like if he didn't here it he would let it slide.
"What?"
"I'm homeless Gerard! I'm a homeless piece of shit!" I curled my legs up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees, covering the back of my head with my forearms.
"And Jay." I lifted my head up but rested my elbows on my knees and my palms on my head.
I let the waves crash for a moment, I let myself have one last moment of serenity before everything went to hell.
"I met Jay right after I got kicked out of my house. He knew that I was in need of some money, so he said that he would give me regular money if I... did things for him." How shameful it was to admit that I was a whore. A homeless whore at the age of 18.
"That story I told you about him wasn't true... I was going to go over there for just a little bit. I was really looking forward to meeting you again. But when I got there Jay made me go farther than I wanted to. He did rape me. But that doesn't change the fact that I should be ashamed for ever agreeing to go over there." My eyes started to well.
I sniffled a few times, trying to hold back my stinging tears.
"I didn't have any other way of surviving Gerard..." I stopped once again.
"I should have just let myself die!" I almost screamed as I sunk back into my previous position.
I heard the sand rustle beside me, Gerard was moving. I bet he had had enough of me and was going back to the car. I sat for what seemed like an eternity, although it probably wasn't even five minutes when all of a sudden I hear.
"Frankie?"
I immediately looked up. Gerard was sitting in front of me cross-legged, waiting for me to look up at him. I could have sworn he was gone. I just stared at him for a few seconds, the tears streaming down my face as well as his. He slowly crawled towards me, putting his hands on my knees. I automatically let him get closer and closer. His body was in between my legs and I was now leaned back on my palms. Our eyes met for a few seconds before he took one last move and let our lips touch. He put one arm behind me, holding himself up. We slowly lowered onto the wet sand, his mouth pushing harder against mine and his weight slowly lowering onto my body. Another character trait of Gerard's, he was damn spontanious.
Our mouthes slowly opened, allowing our tongues to make contact. His body's pressure was surprisingly pleasing. I loved the pressence of him on top of me, his lips working against mine and his tongue dancing with my own. I had never been the best kisser, in fact, I had never made out with anyone. But, as they say, it just felt so right. Nothing but pleasure surged through my body. All of my sadness and regret washed away like the current before us. Just as I had started slipping away from the real world I felt a light drop of water on my forehead, and then another, and another. Finally Gerard and I parted, by this time his hair was dripping wet with rain. He loomed above me, holding himself up with his arms on either side of me. He looked down at me and smiled as the rain hit my face. I blinked away the raindrops as they blurred my vision. As I lifted myself up Gerard leaned back so he was sitting on heels. We both stood up quickly. My eyes wandered up into the dark gray skies. It was getting dark rather fast.
I looked back at Gerard who was doing the same thing, staring at the vast and gloomy skies. He looked at me casually. The raindrops once again blurred my vision so I rubbed my eyes with the tops of my hands and whiped away the rain. Gerard laughed and took as stpe toward me, grabbing both of my hands. He rested his head on top of mine for a few seconds before parting and staring down at me with his beautiful, raindrop covered face. I stood on my tip-toes as he pulled me in for a quick peck.
We ran all the way back to the car, laughing. I don't know why we were laughing, but it felt good. It felt good to laugh when you had stress on your shoulders, I could never forget that feeling. Gerard could make me feel happy like no one else ever could, I just didn't get it. Did I love him? I stood at the passenger door and waited for Gee to unlock the car. We both hopped in quickly and sat there, letting the water drip off of us and onto the leather. Gerard shook his head violently and flung water all over the seat, the windows, and me. I laughed and nudged him gently. He stared back at me with a weak smile,
"You're pretty with raindrops in your eyelashes, and you're really cute when you whipe them away too." His eyes held a hint of sadness, but they looked happy too.
"Is that why you were laughing?" I asked softly.
He nodded like a little kid,
"I couldn't help but laugh, you're just kind of... perfect."
"Gerard I'm not-" He covered my mouth with his hand.
"Don't try to tell me that I'm lying Frankie." He told me with a serious face.
His hand slid off my mouth and back to it's position on the steering wheel. He dug for his keys and started the car, the old engine rumbled for a second before it hummed the usual noise. I just stared at Gerard with a funny look on my face. He glanced at me a few times as we drove along. He finally looked at me as we stopped at a traffic light.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.
"I think that I love you. That's why." I told him plainly.
He just laughed. I frowned and stared at him sadly. Did he not love me back?
"That's funny, because I think I love you too, Frankie." He looked at me and smiled that sad smile again.
I just smiled like a goof and nuzzled into the seat to fall asleep, the noise of the traffic around us soothing me.
-------------
I woke up in an unfamiliar room. The dark red walls confusing me for a moment. I rolled onto my side to see the cluttered room before me. I realized after a few seconds that it was none other than Gerard's room. How did I get here anyways? I sat up and rubbed my head, man I had one heck of a headache. I scanned the room, searching for Gerard. I finally spotted him sitting on the floor, fiddling with some papers.
"Gerard?" He looked up at me, obviously startled.
"Frankie." He smiled weakly and stood up.
I watched as he made his way over to the bed. He sat before me, cross legged as I was. I stared at him with wide eyes, watching his every move. Gerard just look down at my hands that were loosely positioned on the bed in front of my legs. He gently touched the back of my hand and slowly turned my arm. I know looked down at my arm with him. I had forgotten all of the scars and partially healed cuts that I had left on my wrist. I let him examine my arm with a pained look in his eyes. He slid his hand onto my palm as I let my arm remain in the position Gerard had left it in. Without asking he slid his hands up onto my wrist, tracing a few of the cuts. It stung, but I didn't mind. His hand finally reached the top cut, it was diagnol and was, by far, the worst and least healed of the cuts. Then his hand ran straight back down my arm, off my hand, and back into his lap.
We both looked up at eachother at the same time. I gave him a sorrowful look. There were tears in his eyes. Beautiful, heartbreaking, tears. One by one they slowly dripped down his face. My hand reached up to brush away the tears. Everything was happening so fast right now, I just didn't know what to tell him. I deserved to be hurt like this. In my opinion he should be the one hurting me. Afterall, that's all that I was ever taught. Hurting was the best method of teaching. Or, maybe I should have learned that it was the worst. Gerard crawled forward and flopped down on the bed beside me, pulling me down with him. I watched him cry gently as we looked at eachother. I couldn't shed a tear for myself. I hasn't worth even a few tears yet I had already sobbed before him.
Both of us lay next to eachother, our bodies in the exact same position and facing eachother. I grabbed both of his hands in mine and smiled gently. I still had such a horrible headache. It was time to shut my eyes. Gerard and I slipped into a peaceful sleep.
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MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA. It's finally finished. Yes, I know, I'm the worst writer EVER. I can't even get my shitty chapters posted for god's sake! I've just been so busy lately that it seems I'm never on the computer anymore. In fact, I'm on the computer so little that every time I'm on I try to update this. I rarely have enough time though. Summer's been great so far! I'm leaving for Hawaii on Tuesday. : ) I get to go do some environmental work over there for a week. Yay! So yes. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEWWWWW!!! PLEASE. : D And thank you. I'll check and reply to my reviews upon my return I think. Bye babes!
-Finch
-Finch
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I stared down at Gerard and Donna in shock. Pitiful short wines erupted from Gerard's mouth. He held his mother close and sobbed dryly into her chest. I just stood there like a complete idiot, watching the tragedy I had caused. If only I hadn't fucking come outside. If only I hadn't fucking been in Gee's house. It was from that moment forth that I decided that Gerard would have been better off if he had never met me.
"Gerard..." I said quietly.
He couldn't hear me though. His sobs were soft now, but his body shook and convulsed madly. He and his mother were really close and I tore her away from him. What kind of horrible monster was I? What was I going to do now? At that moment I realized that Mikey was standing next to me. The same look of shock on his face. His voice trembled,
"M-mom?"
Mikey's eyes started watering. I was in a load of shit now.
----------
It had been a week since Donna was shot. Gerard and Mikey rarely came out of their rooms and their father spent most of his time out and about, signing papers or getting drunk off his ass. It wasn't like any of them to be like this. But then again what could you expect after the death of someone as wonderful as Donna? I had just been skulking around, sleeping mostly. Since there was no one around to notice much I started cutting myself. I wanted to punish myself for what I did to this family. It was all my damn fault that everyone was fucked up or dead. Everywhere I went I just seemed to ruin lives. I wanted to punish myself without killing myself, seeing as I still had a score to settle with Jay. After that I could finally rest in peace.
Mikey talked to me less than ever. In fact, he stayed completely silent when he was around me. I had to tell the police what had happened, but Gerard, Mikey, and their father didn't really know the whole story. I didn't mention being raped to the police. It's more embarassing than you think to be raped and have to tell someone. The only reason I told Gerard was... I guess... I love him. But I'm still really confused about that. Besides, he couldn't love me when he knows virtually nothing about me. Things don't just fall into place like that. In fact right now things are falling horribly out of place. And I'll say it again. It's my fucking fault. It's my fault! I deserve to be dead.
The funeral was the next day. I was attending. Maybe they thought I should go as some sort of punishment. I'll have to watch all of Donna's friends and family talk about how much they would miss her. Not to mention all the dirty glances I would most likely be recieving. But I deserved it all. I can't wait until Jay's dead and gone so I can just fucking die. I don't think Gerard would mind that much. Afterall he barely knew me, and I killed his mother. Within these past few days I had lost a lot of blood, and was looking rather pale, it was obvious even to me. Luckily no one else cared much so I could keep doing it.
I sat there organizing DVDs when I heard the door down the hall open. My hear skipped a beat. I heard a deep sigh. His breathing was so fucking recognizable. Gerard had finally woken up at three o' clock in the afternoon. His footsteps got closer and closer. I tried to keep organizing the DVDs but my mind scattered and I forgot what I was doing for a second. My hands stopped moving as he came into the room. My heartbeat was so loud, I could hear everthing so clearly as that moment. Gerard stood there, mere feet away from me, his hair all messy and his eyes tired and sad. He wore nothing but a black t-shirt and some plaid blue boxers. God how I would love to wake up to that.
"Frankie..." His voice was quiet and weak.
"We need to... talk." He uttered the words that I was dreading.
I stil I took a deep breathe in, then slowly let it out.
"I'll be back out in a second." He said softly.
I fell back onto the floor and rolled to my side. Staring the the hair fallen in my face. I played with it a little before sighing heavily. What in the world was I going to do with myself? What was I going to tell Gerard? I wonder if he wanted to talk to me about all the lies that he saw through. I wonder if he put the pieces together. I wonder if he could find it in his heart to believe the story I was going to tell him. At that moment I decided that I was going to tell him about my life. I was going to tell him everything about me and how I got here.
"Frank?" My thought were interrupted.
"Yeah." I said, standing myself up slowly.
Gerard was fully dressed in black with the exeption of a pair of white converse.
"Let's go for a drive."
And with that Gerard and I headed out the door.
-----
We had been driving for a while, but then again I wouldn't know seeing as I was asleep. I fell asleep to the music on the radio, not worrying where Gerard was taking me. He could be taking me to the middle of some forest to kill me for all I knew. No. Gerard wouldn't do that, even I knew that. I felt a cold hand on arm as the car came to a stop. We were at the beach. The sky was gray and the waves were menacing looking. Although I enjoyed the sunny days at the beach, I could appreciate the saddening days like this one too. Gerard was good at setting moods for things I had found.
"We're here." He said turning the car off.
Before opening the door he looked back at me with his glazed and amazingly hazel eyes. I gave a sad smirk and proceeded to open the door slowly. Gerard did the same. I stood and leaned agaist the car, my hands in my pockets trying to escape the cold air. I watched my breathe in the air in front of me, damn it was cold. Gerard made his way around the car and stood in front of me for a few seconds, waiting for me to look up at him. Eventually I caved in and looked into his beautiful eyes. I couldn't help but tear up.
"I'm so sorry Gerard." I whispered.
"Let's go for a walk." HE said without a reply.
He turned and walked down the old wooden stairs and onto the wet send below. I followed close behind, not wanting to lose sight of him and be stuck on the beach alone. The sand made a small crunching noise beneath my feet as I followed in Gerard's footsteps. He was taller than me and his strides were longer, so I kind of hopped along them. I came crashing into Gerard's body as he stopped and scanned along the ocean. He looked troubled, but who could blame him? He sat down in the sand and crossed his legs at his ankles, wrapping his arms around his knees loosely. I sat down next to him and leaned back into my palms, my legs sticking out straight in front of me.
"It wasn't your fault." Did I hear him correctly?
"What?" I whispered, almost in a scoff.
"It wasn't your fault Frankie." He told me, still staring off into the ocean.
"Gerard how was that not my fault?" I asked, tapping one shoe with the other.
"You weren't the one with the gun Frank. You weren't the one who put yourself in this situation." I held my tongue as not to interrupt him.
"Gerard, if I wasn't in your house. If I hadn't chose shelter there like a dumbass then Jay wouldn't have even followed us there! Your mom would still be alive..." I was completely shocked that Gerard didn't think that this was my fault.
Gerard looked in the other direction, down the beach. He let out a sigh before turning to actually look at me.
"I just can't let you take the blame. It's not right." He told me, a look a pure pain in his eyes.
It was one of those moments where you realize just how much someone cares for you. When you realize that they don't care about anything else, they just know that they love you and that they'll do anything for you. I had never received that look in my whole entire life, not even from my own parents. That was when I decided that I had to tell him everything that I had been hiding. For a moment I just sat there and stared at him, taking in the loving expression like it was the last time I might see it.
"Gerard... There's some things you need to know about me." I looked up into the cloudy sky, please don't rain.
Gerard just kept staring at me, waiting for me to continue.
"Since I've been living with you I've found out so much about you. You're all around... amazing I guess. I don't understand how someone like you could ever care at all about someone like me. Care about me enough to deny that their mother's own death wasn't my fault-" I stopped and thought for a second.
His mother was probably a touchy subject. I should stay away from that.
"Look. There's one thing that above all you should know about me." I stopped talking and looked out onto the ocean.
"That day when you met me in the coffee shop... I am-was... Homeless." I said it quietly like if he didn't here it he would let it slide.
"What?"
"I'm homeless Gerard! I'm a homeless piece of shit!" I curled my legs up to my chest and rested my forehead on my knees, covering the back of my head with my forearms.
"And Jay." I lifted my head up but rested my elbows on my knees and my palms on my head.
I let the waves crash for a moment, I let myself have one last moment of serenity before everything went to hell.
"I met Jay right after I got kicked out of my house. He knew that I was in need of some money, so he said that he would give me regular money if I... did things for him." How shameful it was to admit that I was a whore. A homeless whore at the age of 18.
"That story I told you about him wasn't true... I was going to go over there for just a little bit. I was really looking forward to meeting you again. But when I got there Jay made me go farther than I wanted to. He did rape me. But that doesn't change the fact that I should be ashamed for ever agreeing to go over there." My eyes started to well.
I sniffled a few times, trying to hold back my stinging tears.
"I didn't have any other way of surviving Gerard..." I stopped once again.
"I should have just let myself die!" I almost screamed as I sunk back into my previous position.
I heard the sand rustle beside me, Gerard was moving. I bet he had had enough of me and was going back to the car. I sat for what seemed like an eternity, although it probably wasn't even five minutes when all of a sudden I hear.
"Frankie?"
I immediately looked up. Gerard was sitting in front of me cross-legged, waiting for me to look up at him. I could have sworn he was gone. I just stared at him for a few seconds, the tears streaming down my face as well as his. He slowly crawled towards me, putting his hands on my knees. I automatically let him get closer and closer. His body was in between my legs and I was now leaned back on my palms. Our eyes met for a few seconds before he took one last move and let our lips touch. He put one arm behind me, holding himself up. We slowly lowered onto the wet sand, his mouth pushing harder against mine and his weight slowly lowering onto my body. Another character trait of Gerard's, he was damn spontanious.
Our mouthes slowly opened, allowing our tongues to make contact. His body's pressure was surprisingly pleasing. I loved the pressence of him on top of me, his lips working against mine and his tongue dancing with my own. I had never been the best kisser, in fact, I had never made out with anyone. But, as they say, it just felt so right. Nothing but pleasure surged through my body. All of my sadness and regret washed away like the current before us. Just as I had started slipping away from the real world I felt a light drop of water on my forehead, and then another, and another. Finally Gerard and I parted, by this time his hair was dripping wet with rain. He loomed above me, holding himself up with his arms on either side of me. He looked down at me and smiled as the rain hit my face. I blinked away the raindrops as they blurred my vision. As I lifted myself up Gerard leaned back so he was sitting on heels. We both stood up quickly. My eyes wandered up into the dark gray skies. It was getting dark rather fast.
I looked back at Gerard who was doing the same thing, staring at the vast and gloomy skies. He looked at me casually. The raindrops once again blurred my vision so I rubbed my eyes with the tops of my hands and whiped away the rain. Gerard laughed and took as stpe toward me, grabbing both of my hands. He rested his head on top of mine for a few seconds before parting and staring down at me with his beautiful, raindrop covered face. I stood on my tip-toes as he pulled me in for a quick peck.
We ran all the way back to the car, laughing. I don't know why we were laughing, but it felt good. It felt good to laugh when you had stress on your shoulders, I could never forget that feeling. Gerard could make me feel happy like no one else ever could, I just didn't get it. Did I love him? I stood at the passenger door and waited for Gee to unlock the car. We both hopped in quickly and sat there, letting the water drip off of us and onto the leather. Gerard shook his head violently and flung water all over the seat, the windows, and me. I laughed and nudged him gently. He stared back at me with a weak smile,
"You're pretty with raindrops in your eyelashes, and you're really cute when you whipe them away too." His eyes held a hint of sadness, but they looked happy too.
"Is that why you were laughing?" I asked softly.
He nodded like a little kid,
"I couldn't help but laugh, you're just kind of... perfect."
"Gerard I'm not-" He covered my mouth with his hand.
"Don't try to tell me that I'm lying Frankie." He told me with a serious face.
His hand slid off my mouth and back to it's position on the steering wheel. He dug for his keys and started the car, the old engine rumbled for a second before it hummed the usual noise. I just stared at Gerard with a funny look on my face. He glanced at me a few times as we drove along. He finally looked at me as we stopped at a traffic light.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.
"I think that I love you. That's why." I told him plainly.
He just laughed. I frowned and stared at him sadly. Did he not love me back?
"That's funny, because I think I love you too, Frankie." He looked at me and smiled that sad smile again.
I just smiled like a goof and nuzzled into the seat to fall asleep, the noise of the traffic around us soothing me.
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I woke up in an unfamiliar room. The dark red walls confusing me for a moment. I rolled onto my side to see the cluttered room before me. I realized after a few seconds that it was none other than Gerard's room. How did I get here anyways? I sat up and rubbed my head, man I had one heck of a headache. I scanned the room, searching for Gerard. I finally spotted him sitting on the floor, fiddling with some papers.
"Gerard?" He looked up at me, obviously startled.
"Frankie." He smiled weakly and stood up.
I watched as he made his way over to the bed. He sat before me, cross legged as I was. I stared at him with wide eyes, watching his every move. Gerard just look down at my hands that were loosely positioned on the bed in front of my legs. He gently touched the back of my hand and slowly turned my arm. I know looked down at my arm with him. I had forgotten all of the scars and partially healed cuts that I had left on my wrist. I let him examine my arm with a pained look in his eyes. He slid his hand onto my palm as I let my arm remain in the position Gerard had left it in. Without asking he slid his hands up onto my wrist, tracing a few of the cuts. It stung, but I didn't mind. His hand finally reached the top cut, it was diagnol and was, by far, the worst and least healed of the cuts. Then his hand ran straight back down my arm, off my hand, and back into his lap.
We both looked up at eachother at the same time. I gave him a sorrowful look. There were tears in his eyes. Beautiful, heartbreaking, tears. One by one they slowly dripped down his face. My hand reached up to brush away the tears. Everything was happening so fast right now, I just didn't know what to tell him. I deserved to be hurt like this. In my opinion he should be the one hurting me. Afterall, that's all that I was ever taught. Hurting was the best method of teaching. Or, maybe I should have learned that it was the worst. Gerard crawled forward and flopped down on the bed beside me, pulling me down with him. I watched him cry gently as we looked at eachother. I couldn't shed a tear for myself. I hasn't worth even a few tears yet I had already sobbed before him.
Both of us lay next to eachother, our bodies in the exact same position and facing eachother. I grabbed both of his hands in mine and smiled gently. I still had such a horrible headache. It was time to shut my eyes. Gerard and I slipped into a peaceful sleep.
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MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA. It's finally finished. Yes, I know, I'm the worst writer EVER. I can't even get my shitty chapters posted for god's sake! I've just been so busy lately that it seems I'm never on the computer anymore. In fact, I'm on the computer so little that every time I'm on I try to update this. I rarely have enough time though. Summer's been great so far! I'm leaving for Hawaii on Tuesday. : ) I get to go do some environmental work over there for a week. Yay! So yes. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEWWWWW!!! PLEASE. : D And thank you. I'll check and reply to my reviews upon my return I think. Bye babes!
-Finch
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