FicWad

A/N: Again this was a little later than intended. But now its all done. I hope you like it even though it's a little shorter than usual. And yes I'm resuming the Reader response segment again.


Reader Response:
Kt: Writing Soap Operas? LOL That's not something I ever heard before. Seriously. If they ever asked me to do a soap opera staring a bunch of gay couples, I'd happily do it, but they'd probably fire me because it would end up X-rated. You flatter me so. I like you, lol.
Goshy: You know, just for you, I'm planning to make the next few chapters about the drag queens. I'll go more into them, and I'll even do another performance soon for you. And yes I was considering doing the other point of view in Eddie's for that reason. Because we don't know much about him yet... Well I do, but you don't.
Moonstar: Of course it will have a happy ending... I think. Well... maybe. But yes, I think he should run away with Eddie. Elope maybe. And live happily ever after. But ya know he won't because I'm too cruel to be that nice. As for the point of view, I intend to stay in the first person, but it will be someone else's POV, like Eddie or Ciel or Haley, or whoever everyone wants. And it will only be a one chapter things. Kind of like an extra, and after that chapter I won't be doing it again. So let me know who you'd like to see. And don't worry. There will be some good things happening to Ike... maybe next chapter.



IVORY

Chapter 10
Just Like Him

--

"You can't be serious."

"Dead serious."

Haley shook her head in disbelief, her eyes following my brush strokes on the canvas. She was sitting beside me as I painted. We were in class, but the professor was out for an important call, so she had pulled up a chair. She seemed utterly confused after I had told her my parents were splitting up. As far as everyone knows, my mom and dad had been happy together. But her own mother had been married and divorced over four times so I suspected she understood what I was going through.

When I had woken up that morning, the house was empty, leaving me to wait in worry all through the day before I'd find out what the hell was going on. It was still possible that my dad had been too drunk and was being over-dramatic. Maybe there was just a fight and he misinterpreted it. But it was so mind boggling how my life just became so chaotic in such a short time. That had been one hell of a bad Sunday, considering all that had happened.

"Well what are you going to do?" Haley asked, her black teased hair falling in her eyes, though she did nothing to avoid it. "I mean, are you going to have to go out on your own, or are you gonna get a job to help support your mom?"

I shook my head, feeling a bit of an oncoming headache. It seemed a little hotter in the class than usual, so maybe that was it. "If this is really happening it's my dad who will need support. My mom gets paid more than he does, and Becky is young enough to still get child support from dad. I guess I'll be going with him to live with my uncle on rue Mount Royal or something. I'm not entirely sure of the details. The problem is that I don't want to leave the neighborhood. It will be a longer commute to university and to see any of my friends." I frowned, thinking mostly about Mace. I wouldn't be able to just walk to his place anymore. Of course he had a car, but he wouldn't use it so regularly.

Her big brown eyes darted over at her friend Liz, who was at the other side of the room, painting something with a pentacle on it. Of course Liz's parents had gone through a divorce a couple years ago and even though she was living on her own by then, it had still bothered her a bit. It was hard to think that the two people you've thought would love each other forever just stopped... I wondered briefly, a bit of fear striking me, if maybe that's what happened to Mace's parents. Did they divorce and drive Eddie and Mace out of New York because of it? No now I was just being silly.

"Well," She frowned at me with concern. "You could always move out on your own, and Mace keeps talking about you moving in with him... Wait, are you ok? You're looking a little flushed there, pal."

"Huh?" I wiped my forehead with my hand, though I wasn't quite sweating, the motion still felt as though it could help... "No, no, I'm fine. Just a little hot. Now I can't move in with Mace because my dad said he wants me to go with him. Maybe he was a little drunk but even if he didn't mean it, I couldn't let him go alone during such a hard time. He probably feels like shit, ya know?"

She nodded as something else seemed to catch her attention. "Say, speaking of Mace, isn't that big-hunk-o'-man-meat speaking to our professor, his gay brother? Why does he keep looking at us?"

Shit. What the hell was Eddie doing at my classroom? Mace wasn't even anywhere near the art department. He'd have been off in environmental studies or something. I glanced up to see Eddie watching me from out in the hallway where he had apparently caught the prof. on her way back in. When the professor looked at me, I went back to painting as I prayed and prayed that I wouldn't have to go talk to him. I was still far too insulted by what he had said.

"I don't know. Maybe it's about Mace." I studied him for a moment from the corner of my eye, glancing in that direction whenever given the chance. He was looking considerably better than he did the previous night. He wore a navy blue suit with the blazer wide open and the tie untied, but there were no wrinkles and his posture was flawless. Even his hair was nice and neat.

I got up and moved between pairs of easels to get to the door. It felt as though the entire class of people were watching me move toward the infamous model. Most of them probably thought I was after an autograph or something.

Instead of approaching him like they had all expected, I didn't want anyone to think I was some sort of fanboy, so I walked right past Eddie, turning my back on him with great disrespect as I headed leisurely down the corridor. Feeling as though I was overheating, walking around might be good for me. Maybe I'd get a little fresh air. But I wanted them to see him come after me. I wanted them to know who was here for whom. It may have been none of their business, but I didn't want anyone to ever mistake me for someone who chased after people.

It was beginning to look like he wasn't going to follow me. Just before I turned the corner toward the stairs, he muttered something to my confused professor, and then started after me. A wave of relief hit me, as if I had been nervous that he wouldn't come after me. I was so pissed off that he actually thought I had tried to seduce everyone but I still wanted him to care about me. I even wanted him to continue being jealous as long as he didn't accuse me like that again.

"Ivory..." He spoke softly, though he wasn't close enough for me to want to respond. When I kept walking, he spoke louder with a little more annoyance adding an edge to his voice, "Ivory. Stop."

"No, you stop." I spun on my heel to face him. My blue eyes glared into his green irises. I didn't want to be mad at him when I looked at him. He was so enchanting and sweet in his cold, expressionless kind of way. Every time I looked at him, I remembered that time in the motel. Falling asleep in his arms... But still, I had to be mad at him. It was about pride and principles. "I've been going through too much, Eddie, and right now I could really use your support. After what happened, I can't go to Mace until we resolve a couple things, and Haley doesn't have a clue. It's so hard to handle all of this when it seems like everyone is just trying to add to it."

He remained quiet for a moment as if waiting to see if I had more to say before he closed the distance between us but didn't touch me. "You're too dramatic." He tried to look impatient but failed. For some reason I got the feeling that I could take as much time as I wanted and he'd still hear me out, but I didn't want to risk it. He nodded at me, willing me to carry on with what I wanted to say.

"You were wrong, ya know." I quieted down a bit, feeling a little pathetic and resentful about what I had to say. "I may have tried to... do something with Lachlan. That was my fault. But I never ever tried to seduce your brother. And I'm not some sort of slut. Sure I'm 21 and wanted to lose my virginity, but I didn't ask for this! You can't expect me to sit around doing nothing while I wait for you to decide whether to like me or not."

"He confessed that it was all his doing," Eddie told me. He paused briefly as he studied me. "I never said you were a slut. I was angry and jealous and overtired. Whatever it was that was said, I didn't mean it, and I apologize."

"Fuck you. I don't wanna forgive you. If I forgave you, I wouldn't have anyone stable to be angry at." I could feel a sudden panic coming over me. It wasn't exactly expected considering nothing had happened, but my whole body felt numb, and my breathing was growing more uneasy by the second as I stood there, reminded of all that had happened. Why couldn't I make sense of anything, and why couldn't I figure out what to do about Mace or Eddie or Lachlan or my parents or... or... "I just don't know what to do anymore. What the hell have I done wrong?"

He put a hand on my shoulder and led me toward the stairs where he sat down a couple steps up, and patted the space beside him. "Do about what?"

I sat down next to him, but didn't meet his gaze. Instead, I stared down at my hand, trying to breathe normally. Whenever I got panicked like that, I got dizzy and I hated that feeling. "About you and Mace and ... My parents divorce. Everything just got so complicated so fast. Yesterday my parents were as happy as can be, and now my dad's moving to Mount Royal and taking me with him. It'll be harder to fix everything if I'm farther away."

"It's not complicated. You're just thinking about everything at once and it's freaking you out." He reached out to nudge my chin with his hand, encouraging me to look at him. "Don't think about any of it until you're faced with it. Or at least, if you insist on worrying about something, choose one issue at a time."

Easier said than done. At that moment I was too panicked to really understand what he had suggested. I gazed at him with moist eyes and furrowed brows, appreciative of his being here and yet resentful that he couldn't relate to what I was going through. It was weird breaking down like that in front of him, but I couldn't stop myself. "I don't know what to do about any of it. It's all beyond my control. Everything is falling apart."

"No." He looked away in that I'm-too-hot-and-famous-to-play-with-over-dramatic-drag-queens kind of way. "Nothing is falling apart. It's simply changing. Things have to change when you make the decision to change your lifestyle, and that's what you did..."

I pushed his hand away and stood up. The stairs seemed to be spinning, and I knew what he said was true, but I still couldn't quite comprehend the words. They just wouldn't register. Maybe I was having some sort of semi-panic attack. Whatever it was, I was beginning to have trouble breathing. I tried to take a step away as I spoke, "I like you so much Eddie, but you're so frustrating."

He got up as well, and murmured something about sitting me back down before I faint. His voice was beginning to sound hollow and a little fuzzy, like bad reception on TV. Everything was becoming too loud, and the floor was coming closer then farther like waves. It was scary, and I pushed away from him in order to get away from the noise. Why was this happening? What was going wrong now? It occurred to me that maybe I was cursed. Then there was a hand on my forehead, and the noise said something about a temperature.

"I'm not so fragile that..." I trailed off, as I tried to get away, to prove that I didn't need anyone's help. I could handle it, and go back to class and paint. Then I could play a list game with Mace as we went home, assuming he'd wait for me like he usually did on Mondays. Then I'd go home and pack and everything would be fine because I could do things for myself. I wasn't a little old lady, or a paraplegic, or a child, but even if I was, I could still manage myself without help.

Two steps away from him, the floor came too close, but instead of hitting it, darkness swallowed me up...

--

"... No let him sleep."

"But I wanna turn on the TV."

"Becky, Go watch whatever it is you want in the basement. Ike has a fever, so he needs his rest."

"Why didn't you just get that guy to carry him up to his room? This is such a pain. Is he gonna be sleeping here all night? What if I want to have friends over?"

"I didn't want that queer in this house any longer than he had to be. It's bad enough he touched my baby boy to bring him home."

"Why can't Dad carry him to his room then?"

"He's not home yet."

There was a huff that bordered on a tantrum as stomps sounded out of the room and down nearby stairs. Rebecca had given in? I laid there, feeling a little too weak to open my eyes. Did mom say I had a fever? Well that would explain a couple things. I tried to move my hand when I got an itch on my forehead, but after raising it a couple inches, it suddenly seemed like too much work so I let it drop again. Slowly I opened my eyes, to see bits of light slipping through the blinds, and pooling on my legs. I was on the couch in the main room. Had Eddie brought me there? Well everyone knew he was gay because he was famous and out, and that was the only person that my mom knew of as "queer" as far as I knew.

Apparently it was still daylight. The clock on the wall above the stereo system said it was only 4:45 pm. As I waited for my body to wake up a bit more, I tried to go over what had happened. Had I fainted? Never before had a fever made me faint before I knew I was even sick. There had to be a mistake there. It couldn't be a fever, and even if it was, it had damn well better be over quickly. Mom was by the door, standing on a stool as she changed a light bulb. Her movements were stiff and sharp as she twisted it in, and it was obvious she was pissed about something. It wasn't the way she acted when someone just did something wrong. It was how she usually got when she felt betrayed.

"Mom," My voice came out surprisingly quiet, and even though there wasn't much noise in the room, I could even barely hear it. So I spoke again, trying to force a little more strength into it. "Mom, how did I get here?"

She waited and took a deep breath before turning to look at me. Maybe it was the fever but I could have sworn I saw resentment in that accusing glare. "You fainted at school. A doctor there who apparently examined you called me and said you were just stressed and it will pass after a day or two as long as you take care of yourself, but I know a fever when I see one. I don't know where that doctor was trained. And then that queer brought you home. That Lonneherr fag."

"Don't say that." Maybe it was whatever was wrong with me, but I couldn't put up with her talking about Eddie like that. She could say those hateful words to anyone else and I wouldn't dare speak up but when it came to him, it hurt too much to hear. "Eddie helped me. He brought me home in one piece, didn't he? He hasn't done anything wrong to you or me or anyone else, so it's very petty of you to say such hateful things about him behind his back."

She hopped off the stool and moved towards me. "How dare you call your own mother petty and hateful? Are you a little faggot too? Is that why you're defending him?"

I forced myself to sit up, feeling very foolishly challenging at that moment. I didn't want to fight with her, but I couldn't back down just yet. "I'm defending him because he didn't do anything to deserve this disrespect. He's my best friend's brother, and so I know just how good of a person he is. He would never say something bad about you behind your back no matter how justified it is."

"You ungrateful little brat!" Her hand whipped out and hit my jaw in a quick stinging slap.

My head jerked to the side, and I nearly fell off the couch. Luckily my reflexes had caught me, and I found myself clinging to the arm of the couch with my teeth clenched. I was surprised, but probably should have seen it coming. Maybe I even deserved it a bit. But that was how I felt. She was wrong to speak that way about people. Was it wrong of me to bring it up? She had never slapped me before. I had never even been spanked as a child. Though I always knew I didn't want to tell them the truth, it then became very apparent to me that she was not someone who would ever support me if she knew who I really was.

A little disoriented since my head was still fuzzy from my fever-like stress, I pushed myself off the couch and staggered a few steps as my mother watched silently. When I went toward the stairs, she followed behind me, demanding, "What are you doing? I didn't give you permission to turn your back on me!"

"I'm going to pack my stuff. Then I'm going to leave and I'll wait until dad is ready to take me to Uncle's before I come back. Then it will be the end of this, and you won't have to put up with your fag-defending son. For once I'm actually glad I agreed to go with him." It was true. She slapped all the guilt right out of me. I stumbled up the stairs, not wanting to hear any more from her. Unfortunately that was too much to ask.

"Fine. Abandon Rebecca and I. No son of mine would be so deceitful anyway. You get it from your father, that bastard! You're growing up just like him. Get out of my house!"

TBC... ... ...