FicWad

I walk nervously through the automatic sliding doors.
I never liked this part, walking into the lobby I mean.

As I approach the nurse, who is always there when I come here, I wiggle my fingers around feverishly.
"I'm here to-"
"Go sit."

Scrunching up my face, I do as the old hag says.
I hate her. She has it in for me, I just know it.

I turn my back hesitantly and pick the seat that gives me the best shot of the hallway and the seat farthest away from the other people.

Out the corner of my eye, I inspect them.
From what my peripheral vision can allow me, I can see about six people. Dressed in the papery gowns that I've come to know so well are two. As for the rest of them it's hard to tell if they're "tourists" or not for they all sport the one look that's all the rage around here: vacancy.

Biting the corner of my lower lip, I continue to inconspicuously stare, but it doesn't last for long when after a good two minutes, one of my nonobservant friends snaps their head in my direction.

Quickly I advert my gaze to my fingers, that rest on my lap.
I really should stop doing that. One day, I'm gonna stare at the wrong person and they're gonna bash my eyes in. But until then......

I shift my weight in my seat as my ass starts to hurt. I've learned not to look at the clock that gladly makes it's presence known, and not to look at my watch, even though it's obsolete due to the fact I dropped it in my Icee last Tuesday.

A distinct ringing in my ears, kidnaps my befuddled attention. I know it's for me.

"Hey, you?"
Looking up at the nurse with at least seven different types of wrinkles on her face alone, I wait for her to give me my signal.

"Room 489."

Practically power-walking I make my way down the hallway and press all the up buttons next to the elevator.
Feeling my youth slip away, I frustratingly
kick at the dent in one of the metal doors until it slides open.

Stepping inside I hold my breath and press the fourth number going up. I never did like elevators. The way you feel every bump and that feeling you get in your chest as it rises higher and higher, faster and faster. For the fourth floor, it sure seems like a lengthy ride.

Stepping out and letting my breath go, I turn left and continue on walking. I know this floor as if it were my home. I come almost any chance I get seeing as I have so much extra time on my hands nowadays.

Approaching the tall white door, with the painted letters that pertain to me, I rap on the door with my knuckles.

No response.
You learn to grow with it though.

Opening the door, I close it behind me and blink a couple of times due to how bright the room is.

Here at Summer Palms, they believe, the brighter, the happier. If you ask me, I think that's just going to remind everyone here how cra- not right they are. Sorry, I had to stop myself. I can't say that word anymore.

Taking a seat in the white chair they have placed at the side of the occupied cot, I clear my throat to further make my presence known.

Not a stir.
This is normal, so I've learned to live with that too. There's lots of things I have to live with now.

I twist my face and reach my arm out, poking the spine of my host.

A cough.
That's different.

A smile creeps across my face.
A respond.
It may not seem like much to you, but to me, it's so much and more.

With my smile wide, and my rocking incessant, I finally open my mouth to speak. Though it comes out a hoarse whisper, I know I'm heard.



"Hi Ryan."