Categories > Original > Fantasy > Funny Interview

chapter 2

by 44eternal 0 reviews

More questions, horoscopes, new clothes, very awkward closeups.

Category: Fantasy - Rating: G - Genres: Humor,Parody - Warnings: [!] - Published: 2008-07-10 - Updated: 2008-07-10 - 3373 words - Complete

0Unrated
PART 2 OF INTERVIEW WITH LESTAT!!


Thanks to Chrysanthenum B and Orchard of dark illusions for their nice reviews. I got Funny fic! TOBT (Body Thief) my fav book in the vampire Chronicles!

Most info may be made up for the fun of it because I couldn’t get to read the Vampire Lestat and QOTD. I base it on all the official sites that I have seen. Thanks to all the sites, Lily and the Rose, lumosetsuna.envy.nu. I saw a shrine that says Lestat is a Scorpio and more about him like birth order. Louis is supposed to be Pisces. This chapter is set after Blackwood Farm and Blood Canticle.

My interviews are related to my fiction Choices of Nature. Bianca is discussed in more detail there.





In the Rue Royale, Lestat is pacing up and down in my personal favourite suit with the golden seams and sequins (when he took Louis out for his first killing of the widow) His hair is loose.

Louis decked out in the bright green long suit, when he fed on Widow St Clair, ponytail. Bianca, red hair loose and falling down, is in a red cheongsam, mighty pissed at being made to wear a dress coz she’s a tomboy. It makes her look more feminine than in jeans. She has refused to makeup.


Lestat: (pissed) Another interview? You’re kidding. I’m not in the mood.

Louis: We still got many questions when you so rudely interrupted us. Now please, let us get it over with. You owe it to us.

Bianca: Yeah, Lestat. I won’t wear this thing anymore if you don’t talk to us.

Lestat: Blackmail now huh? All right all right, I will. My fans will see this anyway, so (turning on the famous Lioncourt charm) I shall oblige. I want to walk around. Can I ?

Louis: Yes but not making us dizzy. This will be a whoever- wants- to ask something session. No fixed rules.

Lestat: Cool! That means I get to ask questions too!

He sits on the window sill, waiting.


Louis: Lestat, you’re a Scorpio, November 7 right? Do you think you fit that cusp sign?

Lestat: Definitely, to a large extent. I’m charismatic, possessive of the people I love. I have very intense emotions inside waiting to spring loose. It says Scorpios do not yell. Um that one will be wrong, I usually yell when I’m mad. (grins) You Louis?

Louis: (thinking) I’m a Pisces, sign of the twin fishes. I can be pretty unstable and emotional. I hate confrontation and I wanna be a good person. I love art, poetry and music too, what Pisces love. I like being with friends. What else? Um I can feel very hurt at what people have done to me, even if they did not mean to.


Lestat: Bianca? You’re Sagittarius. Ok here it says------- you’re the sign with the centaur. The girls are tomboyish, fierce and loyal to friends. You have many boyfriends but don’t have any best friends.


Bianca: Uh huh. All true for me. Can I not wear this dress? I will die if people keep asking me to pose…. (both vampires laugh) Guys! I appeal to all who pity me! Help me! I ask for help not because I’m dying but I am---- of embarrassment.


Lestat: I have fine taste, cherie. Relax in the dress. It will grow fond of you.
Be patient mon cherie.
(Appears opposite them and walks in front of her, stroking her hair)

Bianca: I’m not appeased. That is true, that Sagittarius signs are hot tempered and easily get provoked.
Lestat kneels in front of her and looks deep into her eyes.

Louis: Hi. Don’t lose focus here! We’re doing a talk- show here!! HELLO!

Lestat and the girl stop. Glare at the serious Louis, spoil the fun man. Louis waves his pen.

Louis: Ahem. Lestat, how do you feel about suicide? Are you going to go to some desert and attempt to die again?

Lestat: Why should I? I think I’m happy being alive and myself. I wanted to die because I felt so sad. Sad that I have to live by feeding off mortals.

Bianca: Question here, tell us about David. He helped you in the Body Thief right?

Lestat: Yes. (smiles almost dreamily) He is a cute Briton. That’s why I Made him later. Though he dislikes me for doing that, I think he is better off young than 74 years old and dying. He wanted to go to Rio, in Brazil. If he died before doing that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. He was the only one who helped me during that challenging time.

Louis: Do you love David then?


Lestat: Yes. But presently only You, beautiful One.


Louis: (shy and swallowing) Sheez. Don’t be mushy, we must be objective.

Lestat: (laughing aloud and waving in front of him) This is for the fans. They won’t mind having a fun time. I want to make it fun. I will answer everything this time, I promise. (holds up two fingers) But not objectively. How can I be objective if I like being myself?

Louis: Ok. Um, you helped Quinn at Blackwood Farm right? With his ghost problem. Did you feel scared? In the book there wasn’t much about you.

Lestat: Yeah, I was. But being the hero that I am, I couldn’t let it show, could it? So I tried my best to fight Goblin. Of course I’m not the expert on the occult so I sought help from Merrick Mayfair. Merrick was a colored witch, very pretty Bianca. I wish she didn’t give up her life.

Witches, I ought to explain more about them, in case some of you haven’t got the concept. They basically practice necromancy, but the Mayfairs are my focus here. These special bunch of them are not evil. They help people a lot. Because of Quinn, my relationship with the witches got stronger. Normally we don’t mix. It is illegal by law. But only witches can communicate with the dead and Merrick was the one I asked for help. She was unique in the sense that the Mayfairs are two clans, black and white, and she was a black woman. Merrick became a vampire when Louis took her. With all the qualities she was naturally more powerful than any of us. So Quinn and I helped her with her exorcism.

I didn’t expect her to be burnt, to die. I honestly hoped we would all come out alive. And we could see a happy ending. I wanted to give her the Dark Blood but it was already too late. (pause, contemplative)

After that I was exhausted. I must have looked like shit. The good thing was I became sworn brothers with Quinn. Now I can see the supernatural.


Bianca: Hmm. Previously you explained preternatural as supernatural. Now this definition will change right?

Lestat: Oh. Yes it will hafta change. I said that to avoid confusion if you haven’t read Blackwood Farm. Preternatural is vampires, werewolves, we’re still flesh and blood. Supernatural refers to ghosts. To fans, I hope it’s not too confusing to follow.

Ok let’s go to happier subjects.

He rises and removes his suit. Wearing a short sleeve gold tunic over the white sleeves.He whistles. A German shepherd bounces in, licking Lestat all over. He laughs, ushering him to the living room. The dog sniffs at everyone and smiles in his doggie way.

Louis/Bianca: Hello Mojo!

Lestat: This is my dog, in person. Hope you like him. Sit boy. He doesn’t need a leash or obedience school. (Mojo barks, wagging his tail. He holds up a paw to the others) That means he wants a treat. Boy where is it?

Mojo runs over to Louis and paws at his knees. Louis smiles shyly.

“Please don’t ruin my costume! Good boy down down.” Mojo barks, climbs up, presses the vampire, panting.


Bianca: Here, boy. The treats rubbed off on him. That’s why he is on him. I have it here. (shakes the bag of biscuits and Mojo runs over to eat)


Lestat: (pats his knee) Mojo over here. Right. Where were we? Ah Favourite colours of you both. Bianca?

Bianca: I like blue, and yellow and orange. Blue for the sky, for peace, yellow for the honey. Orange for the fun of it. I don’t like black and white.

Louis: (dusting off his costume at imaginary dirt with a scowl) Why couldn’t you clean your dog up? He’s a filthy creature.

Lestat: Hey we all love dogs. Besides it’s related to environment conservation. You asked me that the previous time. So I thought Mojo could be ambassador. I do clean him. He bathes twice a week. (Looks offended)

Louis: Yeah. Then why does my front have a stain! Oh no! I gotta change. Darn! (Exit)

Bianca: Vain guy! Lestat, Are vampires this vain?

Lestat: Unfortunately it comes with the package of being pretty boys and girls. I Love dressing up. But I didn’t know Louis de Pointe is that vain. He tried to kill my dog too. Mojo isn’t dirty. No one I love is filthy or looks horrible. I wouldn’t allow that on my show anyway.

I usually favour the 1800s fashion statement of France and Victorian era clothing. It’s hot but I like to wear those costumes. I look nicer too don’t you think? Can you picture me in modern wear, don’t I look better like this?

Bianca: Hmm, I do.

Lestat: Thank you. Hey Louis is back! Louis!

Louis is in another green attire, inside is scarlet coating. He is happier now.
“Yay, I’m clean again. Mojo, please!”

Lestat talks to Mojo in French and he sits obediently. Louis heaves a sigh of relief.

Lestat: But I can’t control him forever. He is a free animal. We should all love our pets, because they have so much love for us. I can testify for that. I didn’t say enough about animals the last time. Sorry! It is our responsibility to care for the animals because we’re of a higher intelligence. Especially our pets because they need us to care for them. Their love is more than enough reward. I feel sad that pets are being abandoned at higher rates, we don’t have time for them, we are not able to cater to larger sizes…. It truly breaks my heart.

Bianca: You have a good heart Lestat. But wait a minute, vampires do not have hearts!


Louis: We do. No heartbeats, but we feel. That explains why we are sad and depressed. This is a rare moment of happiness for the two of us.


Bianca: (smiles, thinking of their friendship) I see. What are the happiest moments in your lives?

Lestat: Um… with Louis and Rowan Mayfair. Rowan is my soulmate.
I believe she is a stable person who suits me. But I cannot give her the Gift like she asked me to.


Louis: Why?

Lestat: (he is slightly affected, his green blue eyes are full of pain)

She’s a top scientist. If I did, it would be selfish of me to assume Rowan has an understudy to carry on her research for cures to deadly sicknesses. In the medical field it is extremely hard to find truly good professionals to study sickness. So I asked her to think carefully.

The Dark Gift… I will never abuse my power with it again. I really hope all of you believe me. In the past I have been too rash. (frowning) It is my nature. It’s still new to me, to learn how to handle myself.


Bianca: It is alright. We know. (both of them grin) Yeah, Louis you didn’t talk about your favourite colors just now.


Louis:Yea, I like black. It can match well with many colors, bright colors contrast. And white. This green is nice, but I don’t like bright colors in general. What does your dog like?


Lestat: Me of course! (laughing offhand) And being friends with all of you. I need to add that I love all of you, as I have Marius, Armand, though I’m not talking to him now. David of course. All of you who has ever been in Lestat’s company, so I won’t leave you out. My fans too! Thank you!!! Over to Louis.

Louis: My happiest moment is the present in this show. I don’t wish to further weigh down the mood here.

Lestat: Nothing else to add, Beautiful One?

Louis (smiles): Nothing more.

Bianca: Why are you a man with few- words? (Lestat nods, massaging his pet)

Louis: Well I am an introvert. Isn’t that self -explanatory? For the benefit of people who don’t get this, introversion is a state of being where a person thinks more than talks. I need time to rest, to be alone. Which is why I chose to be alone after Lestat and I separated. Bianca, you’re the same are you not?

Bianca:Yep. Shapeshifters need to reflect and think. Not our main character though.

Lestat:Hey! You’re not being fair. I gotta sleep alone in my coffin. And remember my hibernation until 1984. Doesn’t that count? Sometimes I also pray, so I have to keep silent then. I do reflect. What I said earlier about how I felt, that is reflection.

Louis: Still it drives you mad when you’re ignored right? Don’t try and deny that.

Lestat: (sadly) It does. But not to the brink of madness. I can still look for other people. Or my doggie. (Mojo licks his hand and acknowledges his master) It really hurts being ignored guys! Please don’t ignore me. Pleeeeeease. (puppy eyes, irresistible)



Bianca: Lestat, why do you admit your weaknesses to others? It’s a vulnerability people may take advantage of. Are you not afraid of that?


Lestat: (pause for a long time) It is true, I have been taken advantage of lots…. Why I admit anyway, is because I am frank, open. You could say I belong to that time where people believed in naiveté. It is alright to me… I have no secrets, Bianca. I don’t believe in keeping them. (grins, curls one of his hair)

I can’t! I always talk about how I feel. My nature is like this. I feel hurt, I do not have to be afraid. Whatever happened to me because I was open, I do not regret. Like I do not regret being a vampire. My life is an open book. I have written a lot about myself. I can’t go and deny those things now. Is that enough of an answer?


Louis: Good answer. Thank you. The other vampires were unhappy about this, you making the Night world known to the rest of the mortal world.

Lestat: Huh! As if I care. I don’t care. I’m a reject already. I never felt part of anyone’s group. I’ve always been the unconventional Brat prince. I don’t wanna try and get into anyone’s good books.

Bianca: Then you don’t want to try being a good person?

Lestat:I want to be good! I meant I don’t wanna be a goody two shoes. I want to help others, change the world, show that we’re not as wicked as people make us out to be. Do you get what I mean by this? (smiles and relaxes at both of their agreement) I think even as an immortal, I make a lot of blunders. The Tale of the Body thief is an example. I actually thought I could become a mortal without any repercussions. I have been to Hell and Heaven. The Devil himself has tailed me. I couldn’t prevent that. Actually being immortals does not mean we are invincible.

Louis (thoughtfully chewing his pen after penning this down): Could you please elaborate on what you said about us having weaknesses?

Lestat: We can die by fire. I was lucky to escape. Still I was so physically and emotionally drained that I had to go into a long sleep. I had no more strength. A weaker vampire would have died if burnt like that. Sunlight also scorches us, though if rescued in time, the victim can be saved. When a stronger vampire donates blood to him or her. What else? Stakes, crosses and holy water are useless. They only scare American made vampires like those in Buffy. To me and Louis, that won’t.

Mojo sits up and paws his master. Mojo climbs up on the couch beside Lestat and lays his head on his lap.

Lestat: Isn’t he cute? Dogs are man’s best friend. Truly. Still got a lot of questions for me?

Louis: A few more. Why, fidgeting already?

Lestat smiles, rolling up his sleeves.
Nope. I’m just curious. A promise must be kept.

Bianca excuses herself. About 15 minutes later, she is wearing jeans and a comfy Tshirt. She’s smiling.

Lestat: Let’s talk about you, Bianca. You obviously don’t like this dress- up game. Why?

Bianca: I am a tomboy. If no one forces me I will be happy to be in pants all the time. I love pants, I can sit with my legs apart.
Lestat: That isn’t ladylike at all. Sorry, by all means this is the new age now. I tend to forget. How does it feel to be friends with us? Do you face any discrimination from others?

Bianca: Not that I care. I’m like you. I like to be my own person. It’s cooler that way. So far no one discriminates against me. It feels super to be your friend. I love it!

Louis: Thank you. Even if we’re grandpas already?

Bianca: Nah, you look too suave to be grandpas. I love you.

Lestat: Sweet cherie. We are honoured to be your friends. (blows her a kiss) Well do you guys have any more stuff to share? I think I’m done already.

Louis: Material- wise, how do you get so rich?

Lestat: A lot of people ask that… we just get by. My clothes are not stolen, I sold my plantations in New Orleans. And my father the Marquis left me some. I survive on that. Or I can take my victims’ apparel. Finder’s keepers!

Louis: I see. What would you do first if you set out to be a good person?

Lestat: (thinking) I want to… do so many things! I want to see who needs my help and not drink their blood. Then I want to erase poverty in this world, help out where I can. There is so much to do, we definitely can change the world. That is what helps me carry on, even when rumours about me hurt me deeply. For instance, I don’t feed off children. That is immoral.

I want to save poor and sick animals, kind of open a shelter. There simply aren’t enough homes for the abandoned. I was abandoned. I don’t want that to happen to anyone else.

Bianca: Is that why you took in Mojo? You treat him so well. I would have thought dogs and preternaturals do not get along. I mean, he can sense your goodness, Lestat. Is he scared of vampires?

Lestat: Hmm, I don’t know what goes on in his head. But we’re connected in spirit. Nope, he doesn’t fear anything! My cute boy. Mojo gazes at him adoringly. I wish I can listen to him though. Maybe I will be able to, eventually. We get by without words.

Louis: All right I think we’re finished here. Thank you for hearing us out.
If anyone has more queries we’d be happy to answer them. Guys?

Lestat: Goodnight. Um just not sensitive questions ok?


THE END





























Sign up to rate and review this story