Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Bloody Murder


by DragonBlood 0 reviews

Luna killing Ron

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: R - Genres: Horror - Characters: Luna,Ron - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2008-07-12 - Updated: 2008-07-12 - 386 words

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter or Flappy Bob, but I think I own this way of killing Ron (if I'm wrong, don't sue) If
you do sue me, you will find your lawyer in 217 pieces. And yes, that is possible, especially for someone of
my.......... Interesting state of mine.


I have been working for Voldemort for nearly a year now, and he's finally given me a mission I will enjoy. That mission is the murder of one Ronald Billius Weasly. And he didn't give any instructions on how to do it! Heh, heh, heh...

I sneak into his room at night. I creep up to him and he wakes up. He grabs his wand and fires a stunner at me. There's a flash of red light, and suddenly he is on the ground, knocked out. The stupid prat's wand backfired at him. Damn, this will be even easier than I thought. And I thought it would be pretty easy to start with. I tie him up and I drag him outside. I then open a portal to another dimension, in which a clown named Blarkespiel is the supreme ruler with his army of pink-stripe-wearing, education-loving, soy-eating freaks. Also known as the worst nightmare of God and Lucifer. And Voldemort. And Dumbledore. And Harry Potter. And Hermione Granger. And Darth Vader. And the fuzzy dust-covered glockenspock that lives under my bed. So yeah, it's bad.

I am so glad I have freedom.

At this point, I wake him up to show him his fate. Of course, being the coward he is, he immediately begs and once he sees it does no good, he promptly faints. Again. I wake him up, and then quickly throw him in the portal and shut it before the happy, educating song drives me to insanity. My lord will be pleased.

And I will continue to my freedom.

As soon as I inform Voldemort of the manner in which I killed him, he appreciates the art of it and decides to make me his heir, seeing as he has none. All Lucius Malfoy can do is glares at me. Eventually, I will be the second absolute ruler of the world, and also the most powerful witch ever to live.

Ah, the Joys of Freedom

A/N: Still an old chapter.
Sign up to rate and review this story