FicWad

Sleepover

I stood underneath a eucalyptus tree during autumn. It was a cloudy and foggy day. Yellow leaves rained down, covering the ground up to my shins. Lily stood underneath the tree. She wore a white dress and had angel wings on her back. She went up to me and asked, “Sir, do you have any milk?” I kneeled down till my eyes were level with hers. I unbuttoned my shirt and squeezed my breasts. Milk started squirting from my nipples. Lily opened her mouth up wide.

Suddenly, my head felt a flash of pain. I fell to the ground in a daze. When I kneeled back up, I saw Mark. He had unzipped his pants in front of Lily.

“Would you like my milk instead, little girl?” he asked. Lily looked curiously at Mark as he took off his pants in front of her.

“No!” I cried. “Don’t take his milk!” I lunged forward but Mark’s friends grabbed me from behind.

I was too late. Lily’s face started to decay. Her mouth started to decompose. Her neck and subsequently her whole body rotted and imploded with maggots.

I woke up and found myself in bed. It was Monday morning. Since it was Labour Day, I didn’t have to go to school. I sat on my bed and thought about my nightmare.

My mind started to drift towards Lily. I reached under my pocket and pulled out Lily’s panties. I almost forgot I had them. I swiped them the last time I saw her. My fingers felt the panties in my hands and felt its texture. They had pink flowers on them. They were worn; I could tell because at the front the material was slightly coarse. There were bits of powder around the front—probably dead skin cells. The panties were drenched in a unique smell. I wrapped the panties around my nose and breathed in her warm girly scent.

I closed my eyes and could see upon the pitch-blackness underneath my eyelids a vibrant burst of colours, almost as if rainbows were exploding in my mind. It was psychologically satisfying to have remnants of her in me. These exploding colours in my mind were later replaced with an image of Lily. She was naked, running around in a church garden under the sunlight. She was running in slow motion. She was smiling.

“Keith, what are you doing?”

I opened my eyes and saw my dad standing near the bedroom door. I had Lily’s underwear wrapped all over my face.

“What have you got there?” He walked towards me.

I quickly brought the panties down and stuffed them under the blankets. “They’re my undies,” I said. “I was just seeing if they were dirty enough for the washing machine.”

Dad nodded cautiously. I’m not sure if he believed my lie. “Alright, well, hurry downstairs. Your mum’s made breakfast.”

When Dad went back out, I hid Lily’s panties under the bed and got changed from my pyjamas. I wore a grey t-shirt. Mum waited for me in the kitchen. She cooked pancakes for breakfast.

“Guess what happened,” said my mum.

“What happened?”

“Nancy went around the neighbourhood telling everyone how much of a great babysitter you were and today another family wants you to babysit their son.”

“Where is this new family?”

“Not far from here.” Mum served me the pancakes. “Two blocks away from our house…next door to Nancy’s house. They’re the Wozza family. You’ll be babysitting a nine-year-old boy named Edward.”

Eddie! He was the stalker who spied on Lily. I couldn’t wait to meet this boy. I could teach him a lesson for spying on Lily. I thought about it for a while. How was what Eddie did different to what I’ve been doing? I spied on Lily all the time. The only difference is that Lily never caught me spying on her.

“Eddie’s father is in a wheelchair,” said Mum. “He’s going to the hospital today to try out prosthetic limbs.”

“Is there a mother?”

“No mother. She was killed in the car accident. The father was lucky to survive, although that’s how he lost his legs.”

“How does that father take care of Eddie without any legs?”

“I have no idea,” said Mum. “It must be hard. I’m told he lost his job after the accident and is now on welfare. He hardly gets any money from the government. It’s definitely not enough to bring up a child.”

“What time should I be there?”

“As soon as possible. Go there as soon as you finish breakfast.”

I finished my pancakes, washed my face, and walked out of the house. The Wozza household was just as I recalled. It was a two-story house with red brick walls. The garden seemed dehydrated. The father obviously didn’t do a good job watering the plants. Even the grass was turning brown. The whole front yard was plain and colourless. I walked to the front door and knocked twice.

A middle-aged bearded man in a wheelchair greeted me. It wasn’t easy to keep my eyes away from the man’s lack of legs. All that remained were two fleshy cones that protruded from his body. The man didn’t bother covering up the amputated legs with casts or anything.

“You must be Keith Long,” said the man. “My son’s upstairs in his room. I’ll be back in the afternoon.” A taxi pulled up near the curb a moment later. The father wheeled himself towards the taxi.

I closed the front door and walked along a narrow corridor leading to the living room at the back of the house. The living room had one television and a small sofa. There was virtually nothing else in the room apart from junk on the floor like newspapers and beer bottles.

I climbed upstairs and entered what I thought was Eddie’s room. The room was about the same size as Lily’s—three metres in height, width, and length. The room was a perfect cube. It had nothing but a bed, a window looking out to the Jenkins household, a stack of magazines, and a desktop computer. There was no television, and the desktop computer looked really old. From what I’ve seen, this was a family living near poverty.

A small blonde-haired boy sat on the bed and stared at me. Below the neck his physical form was similar to those of girls his age. It’s during puberty that males and females develop significantly different bodies. The boy wore a black t-shirt.

“Hi, I’m Keith, your babysitter.”

“I’m Eddie Wosnitsuj.”

“Wosnitsuj?”

“Yeah…or Wozza.” Eddie didn’t smile. His voice had a gloomy consistency.

“Oh, I see.” I walked over to the stack of magazines on one corner of the room. Surprisingly, they were pornographic magazines. “Your dad allows you to read these magazines, Eddie?” I picked up a Playboy and flicked through the colourful pictures.

“Dad doesn’t know I have them,” said Eddie. “He can’t come upstairs. He’s got no legs. He doesn’t know what I do.”

“Where did you get these magazines from?”

“A friend from school.”

“Which school do you go to?”

“St Leonard’s.”

“That’s where I go.”

“I know,” said the kid. “I’ve seen you before.”

I picked up another magazine and browsed through it. The type of images I saw were unlike anything I had ever seen in my life. I had the Internet at home but was never curious about pornography the way other boys were. I admit though I take a few peeks now and then.

“Eddie, you’re ten years old, right?”

“Nine.”

“Don’t you think you’re too young to be looking at these pictures?”

“I don’t have the Internet at home. All my friends get to see this stuff but not me. It’s not fair.”

“Exactly who gave you these magazines?”

“Guy named Mark.”

“Mark Illeragnim?”

“Yeah. He charges thirty dollars for each magazine. He sells to other people as well. There’s a new magazine every week.”

“Where do you get thirty dollars a week from?”

“I use the lunch money my dad gives me.”

I understood now why the kid was so skinny. “How long have you been looking at these magazines?”

“About half a year.”

“Do you like reading them?”

“Yeah.”

I walked over to the window overlooking the Jenkins household. “Do you know the girl next door?”

“The girl next door…I’ve seen her.”

“Lily?”

“I don’t know her name, but I’ve seen her with you.”

“I was babysitting.”

“Did you touch her much?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you want to have sex with her?”

I remained silent for a few seconds. “What about you, Eddie? You like her?”

“Yes, I’d do anything for her.”

I was appalled. “Lily’s only nine.”

“So am I.” Eddie had a smile on his face as he stared forward.

“Lily doesn’t like you.”

“You don’t have to like someone to have sex with them.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t need permission to do it.” Eddie’s eyes widened. It looked like he was high on some illicit drug. “My friends at school talk about it all the time. They have the Internet. They tell me stories. Sometimes they show me pictures.”

“Why do you want to hurt her?”

“I’m not going to hurt her. She’ll like it. All girls I see on the Internet like it. All girls on TV like it as well.”

“Why do you buy magazines when you can get free pornography from the Internet?”

“I have a computer but I don’t have the Internet. I see pictures at my friends’ houses.”

“Your friends are all your age?”

Eddie nodded.

“They all look at Internet porn?”

“All of them.”

I thought about Lily. She was so young and vulnerable. I couldn’t imagine what would happen if Eddie got to her.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” I said.

“What deal?”

“I have the Internet at home and can access free porn. I can copy pornography from the Internet and transfer it to you via floppy disk. In return, you have to keep away from Lily. You can’t touch her or even go near her. You’ve got to stop spying on her from your room.”

Eddie knew it was a good deal. He wouldn’t have to buy magazines from Mark because he could get free images from me. He would be able to use his lunch money to actually buy food every day at school.

“Alrighty, I agree,” said Eddie.

“Shake hands?” I offered him my hand, and he shook it.

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Mum was pleased when she heard I made one hundred dollars that day. Dad always wanted me to be a banker. Babysitting was not part of my expected career path, but since it looked like I was making good money, Dad didn’t complain much.

Upstairs in my bedroom that afternoon I finished an economics essay due tomorrow. After all the fun events that happened over the weekend, the thought of going to school tomorrow made me a little anxious. I looked under the bed, trying to find Lily’s panties. I needed to hide it somewhere better. Oddly, I couldn’t find the panties. Someone had taken them.

I heard the bedroom door open and expected Mum to walk in and tell me to come down for dinner. Instead, Lily skipped in. She wore a white dress. She jumped on my bed. I could hear the springs stretching.

“Lily, how’d you get in here?” I asked.

She looked at me. “Your mum let me in.”

“Oh…okay.”

She got off my bed and walked over to me. She twisted her body around and pointed to the ceiling for no reason.

I should be studying, but I couldn’t resist talking to her. “Ready for school tomorrow?”

“No!” She made a look of disgust. “I hate school. I don’t have to go because I’m smart.”

“What did you do today?”

“Nothing. Ella is with her new boyfriend.” She turned her eyes to me. “What did you do? Did you see the scary boy who keeps looking at me?”

“I was babysitting him today.”

“Does that mean you won’t babysit me anymore?”

“No, I’ll always babysit you.”

She tilted her head at me and smiled. “Did you tell the boy to stop looking at me?”

“I fixed everything for you. He won’t hurt you ever again.”

She smiled even more. Her perfect white teeth were showing. I felt really good about myself.

I heard the sound of engines coming from outside. Looking out the bedroom window, I saw a Lexus pulling into the driveway of the Jenkins household. A door on the Lexus opened and Ella got out. Another door on the driver’s side opened and Mark Illeragnim got out. Mark walked around the car towards Ella and kissed her on the mouth.

“Eww!” Lily stood near me by the bedroom window.

My dad entered the room and saw me with Lily. “Lily, your mum just called,” he said. “She wants you back home for dinner.”

Lily walked up to my dad and started pleading with him. “Can I have dinner with you tonight?”

“Uh…I guess. I’ll have to tell your mother. She’s probably made food for you.”

“Can I sleep over, too?”

Mum happened to be walking by.

Dad asked Mum. “What do you think? Should we let her sleep over?”

“Sure,” said Mum. “Fine with me.”

“Where will she sleep?”

“We’ve got a spare camping mattress in the garage,” said Mum. “She can sleep in Keith’s room tonight.”

Dad seemed worried. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

Dad lowered his voice, although I still heard what he said. “I’ll discuss it with you in private. I think it’s better if Lily sleeps with us tonight.”

“Alright, whatever.” Mum smiled at Lily. “You don’t snore, do you?”

“I want to sleep in Keith’s room,” said Lily.

“Well, there you go,” said Mum, turning to Dad. “We’ll let Lily decide where she wants to sleep tonight.”

Dad remained silent for a few seconds before giving up. “Alright, fine. Lily sleeps in Keith’s room tonight.”

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That afternoon, Lily seemed glad to be at someone else’s house. Mum got on the phone and told Nancy about the arrangement. Lily wasn’t actually going to sleep in my bed. Mum got a sleeping mattress from the garage and laid it on the carpet. She quickly returned to the kitchen to cook dinner for four.

I walked out of the kitchen and saw Dad showing Lily around the house, showing her all the paintings and vases we had. Now that a guest was invited for dinner, the atmosphere around the house was different. The dinner table was more decorated than usual. Mum obviously wanted to make a positive impression. The cutlery was laid out neatly, seven candles stood in the middle of the table, napkins were folded up, and there were three wine bottles in the centre. The candles were all fixed upon a seven-branched candlestick that my dad called a menorah. Lily liked to move her palm towards the flame, seeing how far she could get her skin closer to the fire without burning herself.

“Dad, why are we using candles?” I asked.

“We need light,” said Dad.

“I want light,” said Lily. “I don’t like it when it’s dark.”

Mum finished dinner and went to the dining room. Our family had a rectangular mahogany table with crafted wooden chairs that looked like antiques. Although these chairs looked good, they were uncomfortable. Lily squirmed in her seat.

I sat next to Lily on one side of the table while Mum and Dad sat next to each other opposite Lily and me. The main meal was a giant roasted chicken. We ate the chicken with gravy, potatoes, peas, and carrots.

Mum started the dinner conversation. “I saw Ella’s boyfriend today,” said Mum. “He drives a Lexus! Lily, didn’t you notice that? Your older sister’s boyfriend has a Lexus.”

Lily stared ahead, puzzled by what my mum said.

“Do you know about Ella’s boyfriend?” asked Mum.

Lily didn’t say a word.

“Do you have a boyfriend, Lily?” Mum looked at Lily and grinned. Dad looked tense.

Lily spoke in a whispery voice. "No, I don’t have a boyfriend." She still seemed puzzled.

“When you grow up you’ll learn about boys.”

Dad spoke. “My advice, Lily, is to stay away from them.”

Mum looked at Dad. “If I were the type of girl who believed that, I never would have met you.”

“I’m just saying she should be careful.”

“She’s young. She should be out playing with boys.”

“That attitude will only hurt her. How dare you act like this in front of her!”

Lily didn’t seem to like being talked about. My parents noticed this and toned down their argument.

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After dinner, I brought Lily to my room and tried to teach her how to play chess. It took her a while to grasp the rules but after an hour or two she started playing with more confidence. Playing chess with Lily gave me an excuse to lie down on the carpet opposite her. The chessboard was only a foot wide so Lily and I were quite close. I’ve watched Pulp Fiction. They say a foot massage is intimate, but I consider a chess game more intimate. I could feel her breaths on my face. The air that once filled her lungs entered my lungs and the air that once filled my lungs entered her lungs.

After Lily and I played for three hours, she wanted to play games on my computer. It was getting dark outside. The night sky was filled with small stars and one giant full moon. One star in the sky stood out from all the others. It shined brighter and was bigger than the rest. I stared at the star and noticed that unlike the other stars around it this star looked like it had six points.

“There’s a fire there,” she asked, pointing to a column of smoke that rose from the thick bushes of the local park.

“That’s Dendy Park,” I said. “People usually go camping there.”

“Have you been camping there?”

“No, I don’t think you’re allowed to.”

“Why do people camp there then?”

“I don’t know.”

After I closed the window to make sure the smoke smell didn’t get inside the room, I went to the bathroom and had a long, relaxing shower. When I came back out, the house was suddenly silent. The top story corridor was dark. I felt my way back to the bedroom and saw Lily playing Quest for Glory 5 on my computer. The monitor lit up her face.

Without entering my bedroom, I looked towards the end of the corridor and saw light escaping from under the door of my parents’ room. I then heard talking. My parents were arguing over something. I walked up to their room and pressed my ear against the door.

“Don’t be crazy,” said my mum.

“I’m not crazy,” said Dad. “This morning when I went into Keith’s room he had someone’s underwear up against his nose. When he was at Eddie’s house, I went into his room and found this under his bed. Look at how small they are? Isn’t it obvious who they belong to?”

“You have no right to invade Keith’s privacy like that.”

“We’re his parents. We have to watch over our children. To be responsible parents we need to intrude a little on our children’s lives.”

I pulled my ear away. My dad had taken Lily’s panties from under my bed. I resented my father. He spoke about the need to intrude on my life for my own good but he never took an interest in my life unless I did something as extreme as sniffing a girl’s panties. If that’s what I needed to do to get his attention then in a way I was happy.

I walked back to my room and sat on my bed. Lily was on the computer, immersed in the computer game. The computer monitor illuminated the room with a dim glow. Nothing accentuated loneliness more than sitting alone at night. The darkness; the mute silence; and the stillness and lifelessness of everything around me—all this contributed to a feeling of emptiness. I always felt like this at night.

As I got up, Lily finished her game. I told her to leave the computer on. After I closed the bedroom window, I noticed that Lily had already gotten into bed. She didn’t lie down on the mattress as I expected. She was in my bed.

I sat down on the bed and looked at the little child, wondering if I should tell her to get off and sleep on the floor. I worked up the nerve to brush my fingers over her face. She turned her body and looked at me. She had nice light brown eyes. I brushed a few hair strands over her ears and started to move my fingers down her soft cheeks. I placed a thumb on her lips and felt its moisture. My hands then moved down her chin, along her curving neck, and down to her chest. She barely had breasts. I felt the bump of a nipple before I felt her heartbeat.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I took my hand away. I looked up, unable to face her. I felt both guilty and humiliated.

“Keith, do you like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like me more than Ella?”

“Yeah. Do you like me?”

She nodded. “You’re, like, my new daddy.”

“That would make you my daughter.”

I sat on the bed, looking down at her while she buried her face in my pillow and prepared to sleep. I thought about sleeping on the mattress tonight, but Lily rolled over to one end of the bed, obviously giving me room to get in. I turned off the lamp and went to bed cautiously. Enough moonlight from outside leaked in through the window for me to see where I was moving. I lied down fully awake and nervous, aware that I, an eighteen-year-old boy, was sleeping with a 9-year-old girl.

An hour later I was sure Lily was asleep. I could hear her breathing. She was so relaxed and peaceful. I had no idea what her dreams were, but by the sounds of her breathing her dreams could only be positive. People breathe rapidly during nightmares. It was amazing. She was probably dreaming about so many happy things. Birds, hills, sunlight, friends, laughter—these were the sorts of things I dreamed about when I was little, but over time the roughness of the world replaced this happiness with something else.

I inched my body close to hers. She had her back facing me. I lied on my back and let my left hand slowly crawl towards her body. My hand went up her dress and rested on her thighs. I felt her supple warm skin on my hands. I kept my left hand on her leg. My nose hovered over the back of her neck. I moved closer till my nostrils took in the smell of her hair. It was a full and organic smell, natural, slightly crude, yet full of flavour. My nose moved deeper into her hair. Sweat started to evaporate all over my body. Lily was still asleep.

I wanted to pull Lily’s dress up and touch her private parts. My hand grabbed the girl’s dress from under the blanket. I started lifting it up. Then I froze. The moonlight drifted in and lit up her face. She looked so innocent while she slept, so gentle, and so peaceful. She was like a vessel of pure happiness, and just one small puncture could spill this happiness, and she would be sad forever.

I moved away from the girl and lied on my back for a while, looking up at the plain white ceiling. My eyes and forehead started to feel hot. I fell asleep quickly.