FicWad

A galaxy far away in deep space. There, our story begins. In this galaxy is a planet four times the size of Earth with a similar structure. Its surface was made of land and water, with some ice, just like ours. From the very centre, an object burst out, straight through the atmosphere and into space.
The object was about six-feet long, made of a glass like substance. Inside was something which looked human but wasn’t quite.
Travelling at nearly the speed of light it soon burst into the Earth’s atmosphere. It flew down, zooming in on its destination as it fell. Great Britain. England. Dorset. Bournemouth. A housing estate. A garden. CRASH.
After years of learning what Earth was like and how to deal with everything and anything, he was finally here. Finn- to rid the 3rd rock from the sun of all it’s supernatural creatures.

*

Gary Nolan was sat at home playing on his computer. He was alone- his dad was still at work and his mum was forced to take Gary’s younger brother Joe to football training.
Gary was playing Grave Robber 4. It involved going around graveyards destroying ghosts, zombies and anything else that came at him. He just couldn’t get enough of it.
Just as he was about to chop a zombie into many tiny pieces, there was an enormous crash from the garden. Annoyed but intrigued, he shut down the computer and went to investigate.
“Huh?” Gary said. A boy a little older than he was appeared to have crash landed in Gary’s garden.
“Who are you?” Gary asked, still astonished.
“I’m Finn,” the boy replied, using the name he’d been given back home.
“Glad to meet you, Gary Nolan.” Finn spoke in a voice that was so clear it was unnerving. There was not the slightest accent or impurity. But at the same time it had the feel of someone who’d been taught English but had never really used it properly before.
Gary looked down at Finn’s outstretched hand. Should he shake it? Was Finn a person he could trust? In fact was Finn a person at all...?
“Wow that was quick!” Finn exclaimed. “You’re right: I’m not human.”
“Then.... what are you?” Gary stammered.
“I’m what you’d call an alien- I come from a different planet. The elders of our people train us up. Every few thousand years, on every planet with life on, one of us turns up. Last one here was called Jesus. Big star-him arriving. Manger-his ship. He managed to create a whole religion, Brilliant chap. Nowadays though we try to keep a low profile. And our technology is better.”
Gary couldn’t believe it. He’d never been religious but come on- Jesus- an extra-terrestrial. No Way!
But then, when he thought about it, it made sense. Where do people get these sci-fi ideas from. Reality-where else?
“What are you gonna do here?” Gary asked, now deeply interested.
“Rid the Earth of all things supernatural or unearthly,” Finn replied. “And you’re going to help me...”
*

A week later, Gary’s life had changed beyond recognition. He’d done 3 things- just 3. Now, everything was different.
1) He’d convinced his mum that Finn had run away from home and needed to stay somewhere. His mum said it was fine as long as he feeds and looks after himself- and for that he’d need money.
2) Gary had forged a letter saying he was going to leave school in a fortnight’s time. Everyone believed him- but he didn’t tell anyone at home.
3) Gary and Finn had made an advert for the newspaper:
Something strange going on?
Then call Finn’s Friends.
Supernatural Solutions &
Psychological Help.

The advert also said to find ‘Finn’s Friends’ at The Shed, Meridian Close. Meridian close was two streets away from Gary’s house. The shed was just that- a shed. They’d found it abandoned and took it over as their new headquarters. Now all they had to do was wait for the first customer.

*

“Finn, What are you doing here?” Gary whispered. “You’re meant to be manning the shed”
“Mr Nolan,” Gary’s teacher, Miss Bell announced. “Just because you are leaving next week does not mean you can talk in class. Who is that boy anyway?”
“He’s my cousin from America- where I’m going to live,” Gary lied. It scared him sometimes how quickly he could create a lie.
“Howdy, class.” Finn said in an over-exaggerated accent. “How y’all doin’?”
‘She won’t fall for that one,’ Gary thought. ‘Even she’s not that gullible.’ It turned out she was.
“Well, just be quiet,” Miss Bell ordered and continued talking drivel. Gary turned back to Finn.
“We’ve got our first customer,” Finn whispered. “Can you ditch school?”.
“Sure I’ll-” Gary began.
“Mr Nolan,” Miss Bell shouted. “Will you please be silent?”
“Bugger off, bitch,” Gary grunted.
“How dare you! Headmaster’s office now!”
“Whatever,” Gary sighed, and left the room, with Finn just behind him.
Instead, they left school altogether, ready for their first case. Destiny was taking Finn and Gary to a new situation that would change their lives forever.

*
When the pair returned to the shed, a small, quiet young man was sat waiting on a chair opposite the reception desk.
“Sorry about the wait,” Finn apologised, pulling up a chair next to the awaiting customer. Gary went to do the same but Finn stopped him.
“Go fetch a notebook and pen from behind the desk,” Finn instructed. “You’re being scribe” Gary returned momentarily holding the correct equipment.
“Are you sitting comfortably?” Finn asked. The man nodded. “Then we’ll begin” Gary was sure he’d herd this phrase somewhere before but couldn’t work out where. It seemed far too human for an alien to use though.
“What’s your name please?” Finn began.
“Jimmy O’hair,” the man replied. Gary wrote this down at the top of the page and underlined it with a neat wiggly line.
“So what’s the problem Jimmy?”
“A ghost,” Jimmy said simply. There was silence for a few seconds.
“What sort of ghost?” Gary intervened, leaning forwards.
“I don’t know I’ve never seen it closely. It drives around round the main road in an old, run-down Waitrose lorry,” Jimmy explained. Gary raised an eyebrow in Finn’s direction- this guy was clearly a crackpot.
“So why’s this ghost a problem then?” Finn questioned.
“It drives on the wrong side of the road straight at cars. I see the lorry most days on my way home from work. It destroys many a vehicle- my car has many dents and scratches itself. One day it could be me completely destroyed. I don’t know what I should do.”
“Leave it to us. Just give us your address and two emergency contact numbers and we’ll sort it out.” Jimmy gave the details and headed to the door.
“Whatever you do, please, please stop it,” he said and left the shed. Gary gave up trying to keep a straight face and burst out laughing. Finn gave him an icy stare.
“What are you doing?” Finn said coldly and in a way that made Gary stop sniggering immediately.
“You can’t seriously think that he’s not mental,” Gary joked.
“Maybe I was wrong to choose you as my assistant. Very wrong,” Finn said sternly, but then chuckled. “Mind you I don’t know why he chose a Waitrose lorry- Tesco lorries are much faster.”

*

Finn knew that the client seemed a little crazy, but his gut feeling was that there really was a ghost. It was time to visit Jimmy’s emergency contacts.
A doorstep in the small city of Salisbury was where Finn found himself standing, cowering out of the rain, the next day. He rang the bell which played ‘God save the Queen’. A woman in her mid-sixties answered the door.
“Yes?” the woman squawked.
“You are Sandra O’hair, mother if Jimmy O’hair?” Finn asked.
“That is correct”
“Good. Just a quick question- Jimmy has no history of mental health problems that you know of?”
“Jimmy is as sane as the next man-” she yelled. “-unlike you.” She then slammed the door in Finn’s face.
“I think that’s a clear enough opinion,” Finn murmured to himself, and wandered back to his taxi.

*

Meanwhile, Gary was sent to investigate Dan Jones, Jimmy’s long time friend. Dan worked as a shelf-stacker in a supermarket at the successful retail park, Castlepoint.
When Gary arrived, he found himself with the impossible task of searching the whole supermarket for his Jimmy’s emergency contact. After half an hour, by which time Gary was on the verge of giving up, there was still no sign of Jimmy’s mysterious mate. Gary decided to try one more aisle, and then call it a day. Fortunately, the next aisle was where Dan Jones was to be found, stacking tubes of Pringles-Gourmet. Gary walked up to him and began his investigation.
“Excuse me” Gary answered. Dan turned around to help what he thought was another customer.
“Shouldn’t you be at school?” Dan asked with his brow furrowed.
“I’m on work experience with the police,” Gary lied, once again surprising himself at the sheer speed his lying mind worked. “I’m here to speak to you about Jimmy O’hair”. Dan sighed.
“What’s he done now?”
“He’s just... under investigation,” Gary replied. “Do you know if Jimmy has any history of mental illness?” Dan chuckled to himself. “He’s a druggie. That’s probably why he seems a little wrong in the head.”
“Any idea which drug?”
“You name it he’s taken, injected or smoked it.”
“OK, thanks for the help,” Gary said placidly.
“No problem”, Dan replied. Gary then left the supermarket, knowing how he had proof there was no ghost.

*

“There’s no ghost,” Gary announced as soon as Finn had arrived back at Gary’s house.
“And how do you deduce that?” Finn questioned.
“Dan Jones reckons that our friend, Jimmy O’hair, is on drugs,” Gary said with a huge grin across his face. “Jimmy’s imagining the ghost; the drugs have altered his mind.” The information sunk into Finn’s brain. It would explain a lot but Finn’s instinct told him something was wrong. He could feel it in the air: something strange was going on.
“Bring him in,” Finn sighed. It was time to find out the truth.


Jimmy looked even more nervous than usual as he entered the shed.
“Ah, here at last,” Gary said sneerfully, even though Jimmy was only a minute late.
“Take a seat,” F inn instructed and the two Ghosthunters sat facing their client just like they had only a week ago.
“A little birdie tells me that you may have taken something not very nice,” Finn began. “Is this true?” There was silence for a moment, but Jimmy knew he couldn’t worm his way out of this one.
“I took LSD once, that’s it,” Jimmy blurted. “Once. And I will never do it again.”
“Fine, that’s all I need to know,” Finn replied. “We’ll contact you soon.”
*

Gary couldn’t believe that Jimmy’s ghost theory was not based on drugs, so he decided to do some investigations of his own. He booted up his computer and visited Google. He typed in LSD and the first site was www.wecanhelp.com/lsd.html -LSD, the things you need to know. Gary clicked on the link and read the page. He found what he wanted. ‘After taking LSD once, users can expect to live with the after effects, like hallucinations, for the rest of their lives.’
The proof was in the text. There wasn’t a ghost.
But nobody told the ghost that...
*

Jimmy was annoyed that Finn’s friends weren’t dealing with the ghost and thought his brain had been mangled by strange substances. Sure, he did have a hallucination every now and again but afterwards he knew it was just that- a hallucination. The ghost was as real as he was.
The automatic doors slid open as Jimmy entered the supermarket to buy some dinner. He bought a tuna pasta bake, which was his favourite meal. He paid for it as well as some bread and a box of teabags. To Jimmy’s delight, his favourite person in the world was serving him: Lucy Mackintosh.
“Hi, Jim, how you doing?” Lucy asked. She always called him Jim, and he had to admit he liked it.
“Oh, same old,” Jimmy replied. “How are you?”
“I’m not bad......How about we have dinner together sometime?”
“I’d like that,” Jimmy said, stunned. “I’d like that a lot.”
“Good. Tomorrow, 7 O’clock at mine?”
“I look forward to it. See you then,” Jimmy headed for the exit with a smile across his face.
*
Finn was thinking. Maybe Gary had been right all along. Perhaps Jimmy was imagining the ghost. There was no evidence to prove otherwise. He couldn’t help feeling that there was something missing- what didn’t he know? He was not giving up on this case so easily. He would find out what was really going on and sort it out.
*



Jimmy just about to leave the store when he bumped into his ‘friend’, Dan Jones.
“Hey, Jimmy, nice to see you,” Dan exclaimed. Jimmy opened his mouth to speak but he knew with Dan he’d never get a word in edgeways. “Been trying to fix these doors. They keep opening and closing like someone invisible keeps stepping in front of ’em,” Dan continued. The doors then proceeded to do just that, as if to demonstrate. “Anyway, must go and call the engineer. See ya”.
“Bye,” said Jimmy and Dan wandered off. Suddenly a thought hit Jimmy square in the face.
Someone invisible- someone like a ghost...
JIMMY a voice said, ear splittingly loud and as deep as a black hole. Jimmy spun round but he was alone.
I’M SPEAKING INSIDE YOU’RE HEAD, JIMMY The automatic doors kept opening and closing rapidly, enough to drive someone mad.
“What are you?” Jimmy asked. If there was anyone near he would have looked insane, stood there talking to himself. Fortunately there wasn’t anyone there.
YOU KNOW WHAT I AM
“Alright, a ghost, a spirit. But who are you?” Jimmy was now quaking with fear.
YOU KNOW THAT TOO, JIMMY At first Jimmy didn’t know what the voice meant but after a few seconds he realised.
THAT’S RIGHT. I’M MR SLAZZLER, YOUR OLD MATHS TEACHER. YOUR STUPID PRANK ON MY OLD LORRY MADE IT EXPLODE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT JIMMY?
“What?” Jimmy said defiantly, with pure hatred.
YOU WILL PAY FOR WHAT YOU’VE DONE, YOU WILL PAY INDEED...
*

“Gary.” Finn yelled. “C’mon. Jimmy’s been taken to hospital- sounds like trouble.” Being adults in every way other than the law, Finn and Gary had to take the bus as usual. It was a complicated route and seemed to take five times as long as it normally would.
The ghost hunting duo hopped off the bus and rushed across the road, getting an angry horn from an annoyed sixty-five year old driving a red Seat. Eventually, Finn and Gary found their way into A and E and then to Jimmy’s bedside.
“Jimmy, it’s Finn,” Finn announced, quietly but urgently. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“The ghost,” Jimmy began croakily. “It was speaking inside my head”
“Hmmm...Ecto-telepathation,” Finn murmured. “Did the ghost identify itself?”
“Yeah, it’s Mr. Slazzler, my former maths teacher. My childish prank blew up his car and killed him.” Finn was surprised by this, Jimmy had seemed so perfect other that the drugs thing.
“What can you do Finn?” Jimmy continued. “He’s already done this to me with the ecto-telepathy thing, what can you do to stop him?”
“I need to lure him to where he died, probably where he first started haunting- and we know where that is don’t we?” Finn smirked, pleased to see Jimmy smiling for once. “But there is one problem- Neither Gary or I can drive. Will you do it?”
“If it gets rid of old Slazzler once and for all then I will,” Jimmy replied instantly. “Dr. Singh reckons I’ll be out in about half an hour.”
“We’ll see you outside in about 30 minutes then,” Finn announced. “Come along, Gary”.

*

“How do we know this is true?” Gary asked as Finn found a sturdy wall to lean on. “He’s on drugs”.
“He took LSD once,” Finn pointed out.
“Yeah, but once is enough”.
AH, FINN I’VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU a voice said in Finn’s head.
“Are you alright?” Gary asked Finn, seeing the expression on his face.
GARY NOLAN TOO the voice said, this time to both of them. THE GHOSTHUNTERS MEET THE GHOST...
“Listen Slazzler,” Finn yelled. “We’re sending you and your lorry to deepest darkest Hades, where you belong”.
EVEN IF THE WOMAN JIMMY LOOOOOOOOOOVES IS IN THE BACK OF MY LORRY?
“You wouldn’t,” Gary whispered.
TOO LATE, GARY. A CERTAIN LUCY MACKINTOSH IS ALREADY GAGGED AND TIED UP. OOPS, WE WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT, WERE WE?
“She’s not part of this,” Finn said coldly. “Play fair. Let her go”.
GHOST’S DON’T PLAY FAIR Slazzler replied and the voice became silent.
“We’ve got to tell Jimmy,” Gary declared.
“No, we haven’t,” Finn replied icily. “There’s nothing we can do for Lucy. We can stop Slazzler’s ghost and save Jimmy”.
“But Jimmy’s life won’t be worth living without her,” Gary argued. “You can’t do it.”
“I’m in charge,” Finn muttered sternly. “So I can and I will.”

*

It was cold and dark in the back of Slazzler’s lorry and Lucy was worried. What was going to happen to her? What had already happened to Jimmy? She remembered back in her school days, when her class was told that Mr. Slazzler had been killed by a faulty vehicle. She recalled how quiet and far off Jimmy had seemed at the time. She’d guessed at the time what Jimmy had done and it had turned out that her guess was right. But she’d known back then, and still knew now, that Jimmy would never mean to kill someone.
Lucy’s normally perfect blonde hair was wet and tangled and she felt frightened and alone. So alone. If only Jimmy was with her...

*

“Afternoon, fellahs,” Jimmy greeted as he met the Ghosthunters. He looked more like he was ready to run a marathon than had just come out of A & E.
“You ready?” Finn asked.
“As I’ll ever be,” Jimmy sighed. Finn pulled out a key ring with several keys on. He selected a car key with the Audi rings on and clicked it. A nearby Audi TT flashed its lights.
“Where did you get those from?” Gary murmured, glaring at Finn.
“I....borrowed them from someone in the waiting room,” Finn replied, ignoring the glare. “Jimmy, let’s go.” The three of them got into the car and, to Gary’s disappointment; he was left to the cramped backseat. On this occasion though, he decided to stay silent.
OOOOH, THEY’VE LET YOU OUT ALREADY a voice said in Jimmy’s head.
“Ignore him,” Finn yelled, sensing the voice.
“Go back to hell, ET” Jimmy muttered.
“ET?” Gary questioned.
“Yeah, that’s who he looks like.” The trio giggled.
HOW DARE YOU Slazzler said, this time in all their heads. Suddenly, Slazzler’s lorry came screeching across the car park towards them.
“DRIVE,” Gary yelled. Jimmy didn’t need to be told. He turned the key and put his foot down. The Audi zoomed forward with the lorry just behind. Gary glanced behind to get a look at Slazzler. A cross between a man and an alien was sat at the wheel.
Jimmy skilfully did a handbrake turn out of the hospital and the lorry followed though, it has to be said, much less gracefully. He skidded through a red light, with cars swerving to avoid him all over the place, horns blaring.
Slazzler followed the Audi’s every move. But the traffic didn’t have to avoid his truck. As the lorry went through the red light, a large people carrier was in front of it. The lorry then went straight through the people carrier...
“Neat trick that,” Finn murmured, watching through the wing mirror. “Optional ghostly properties. Ghostly when he wants, real when he wants. Very handy”. Jimmy drove down the road as fast as he could manage, switching lanes continuously to avoid the traffic. The lorry however had a much quicker route; straight down one lane, going through every vehicle in the way. This still shouldn’t have caused a problem. The old lorry should never have been able to catch up with the sheer speed of the Audi TT. Yet it did...
“By the time Jimmy pulled onto the dual carriageway the lorry was almost touching him. Suddenly a deafening noise came from the back of the car.
“What is that?” Jimmy exclaimed. He wanted to accelerate away but there was too much traffic.
“Sounds like circular saws,” Finn chuckled.
“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” Gary moaned, the sound of whirring saws coming ever closer. “I’m about to be sliced in two!”
Jimmy suddenly realised what was in front of them. A car transporter truck. And for once the luck was on his side: the ramp was down.
“You’re not going to...” Gary said, seeing the look on Jimmy’s face in the rear view mirror.
“Oh, yes,” Jimmy answered, and put his foot down.

*

Lucy woke up with a start. The lorry she was sat in was moving, and at a fair lick too. Her first thought was of Jimmy- it looked like the end for her but maybe Jimmy still had a chance. She hoped so, with all her heart.
From nowhere, a strange sensation rocked through her body. She felt like she was a ghost, like nothing mattered anymore. She realised that her hands had gone straight through the ropes tying them together. The gag around her mouth fell away. She wasn’t sure what had happened. Maybe she was a ghost. It didn’t really matter- she could now escape.
*
“Wooooooooooooo-hooooooooooo” Jimmy and Finn cried as the Audi flew up into the air. Gary just screamed. Finn watched the lorry drive straight through the transporter and noticed a figure leap out of the side of the lorry and land on the grass verge. He smiled to himself.
The car landed on all four wheels, bounced and carried on moving.
“We’re here,” Jimmy told Finn, slightly exasperated from his little stunt. “This is Slazzler’s haunting ground”.
“Good,” Finn muttered, still smiling. He pointed his index finger at the lorry and a green spark flew out of it. The spark flew towards the lorry and, on contact, both vanished.
“Was that...magic?” Gary asked in disbelief.
“No, it’s just pure energy,” Finn replied. “Takes a week to build up that sort of energy. Fortunately, I’ve been saving it up for about 3 months.”
“How convenient,” Jimmy muttered, and they all laughed.
*

5 minutes later, Jimmy parked the car in the hospital car park.
“Leave the keys in the ignition,” Finn instructed, getting out. “I’ll leave you to discuss payment- I have some unfinished business to attend to...”
“I wonder what that’s all about,” Jimmy said as Finn walked away.
“Dunno,” Gary lied.
“What about the pay then? How much do you want?”
“Well...” Gary began.
*

Meanwhile, a young woman was trotting towards home on the side of the dual carriageway.
“Almost there,” She murmured to herself.
“Lucy,” said a voice from behind. She spun round. A boy, about 16 years old by the look of him, stood before her.
“Who are you?” She asked.
“I’m Finn, a ghosthunter,” he explained. “Someone you know...er...assigned me.”
“Jimmy,” Lucy breathed.
“That’s right”
“Is he OK?”
“He’s fine”
“And what about me? I know the ghost of Mr. Slazzler kidnapped me. But how did I escape?”
“Slazzler used a clever trick,” Finn began. “It meant he could give the lorry and everything inside it ghostly properties, so he could drive straight through things”
“Everything inside it? That included me?”
“Exactly. That’s how you escaped” Then he looked at his watch. “You’d better be going...I believe you’ve got a date”
“Of course...” Lucy exclaimed. “Bye Finn. And... Thank you”
“Anytime,” Finn replied. “Anytime”
*

“How much did you get?” Finn asked as Gary greeted him at the door.
“Five hundred pounds” Gary announced.
“Five hundred” Finn repeated breathlessly.
“I did wonder if it was enough...” Gary murmured. “How much did you want? Eight hundred? A thousand?”
“About fifty quid would have done,” Finn answered. He smiled. “But five hundred will do!”
The staff of Finn’s friends were quite pleased with themselves. They’d solved their first case and had been paid very well indeed.
*
At 6:59PM Jimmy rang the doorbell. He was more nervous about this then he had been when leading a ghost back to the place it died. Lucy opened the door.
“C’mon in, Jimmy,” She said with a twinkling smile. Jimmy did as he was told and Lucy shut the door behind him. It had begun. And it was going to be the best night in either of their lives...
*

That afternoon Doris Dimple left the hospital and went to find her car. She was sure she parked it in bay E7 but found it in G2.
She rummaged in her handbag for the keys but couldn’t find them. She peered through the window to find her keys in the ignition. She had definatly put them in her handbag. She wandered around the car to see what other strange things she could find and couldn’t believe her eyes. Someone had virtually sawn her Audi TT in half!

END