FicWad

Snow crystallize white
Sky heavenly grey
Eyes shining blue

Come to me run to me
Do and be done with me
Cold cold cold

You're just being vicious. Vicious, vicious, ripping apart my insides with your already blood-soaked claws. But I'll deal with that if I must, if only I can be with you. Tear me all you want, inside, outside, whatever is your preference. Just let me know I can be with you.

Don't I exist for you
Don't I still live for you?
Cold cold cold

I had told you that I loved you. What a choice that was. I bared my open flesh to you in trust, in hope, and you just tore it out with glee. Watching me writhe under you covered in blood must be a particular fetish of yours.

You call me to your room now in that lazy way that precedes the bearing of the claws and teeth. I come, if only because it is the only time I can see you, you as you are. You don't realize it, but the reason why you're so vicious is because you're so venerable. Something inside you knows it as well as I do.

Everything I possess
Given with tenderness
Wrapped in a ribbon of glass

Kneeling nude in front of you is something I have done countless times. You circle like a wolf with its prey, finding the weakest spot to attack in a final blow. I'm still panting front your previous attacks, I've given in to the end, as I have so many times before. I struggle a little for your sake, though. If I just gave in and showed you how I let this happen, you should grow suspicious in my enjoyment.

Time it may take us but God only knows
How I've paid for those things in the past

I used to fight back. You think I still do. My heart isn't in it any more, though. I used to revel in snapping back at you, finding the weak spot in your defence and exploiting it. And I knew it hurt you. I'm willing to wait for both our wounds to heal before trying again to make you understand this all-encompassing love, if only there was an ending I could see. It will be a long time...

Dying is easy
It's living that scares me to death

You know what I mean when I say that death is easy and living is hard. You have been where I am now, on my knees with the pressure of the world on my shoulders, and the smallest thing holding you up. You don't know that I am reaching that place where living is too hard. If only you knew, maybe you'd understand that I can only do this for so long.

To everyone else I am a steadfast person who will live. I have only faltered once in their memories, and they choose to forget that moment more often than not. To everyone else, I am in a relationship that needs to stop, but I'm not going to let go. I know just how unhealthy it is for me, but there is nothing to be done about it. Until you cradle me and tell me that you love me and apologize for what has happened, or I die, whichever comes first, that will be the end of the pain.


I could be so content
Hearing the sound of your breath


Aftermath.

I lie here, on the couch, too tired and aching to move from here to the bed. If only I could lie in your arms, warm, content, safe. Instead, I tug the blanket tighter around me in the mimicry of an embrace and wait until dawn.

Cold
Is the color of crystal the snowlight
That falls from the heavenly skies
Catch me and let me dive under
For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes

Why is it that I'm always below you? Always on the ground, or heading there.

I lie in the snow, alone and at peace with nature. The sky is blindingly grey, soft and touchable as it sheds little pieces of itself in the form of crystallized water. Cold is snow is white is you. Your eyes are this color, the color of this cut-out shape. Crystal-clear, diamond-cut shining eyes. Look upon me, from where ever you are. See me? Here I am, infidel me, making a mess of the perfection, of the cold. Save me from my vertigo, as I fall and fall and fall down and away and I'm dizzy in the swirling of the cold and the grey and white as it shines.

Blood steams, melts snow.

I want to be with you baby
Slip me inside of your heart
Don't I belong to you baby
Don't you know that nothing can tear us apart?
Come on now come on now come on now

Tears prick at my eyes and I gasp silently as they drip down the side of my face, never freezing. I wish I could seek shelter in your heart. I know that it is guarded well, but I wish I could just sneak in somehow. Just like how you snuck into mine.

We were always meant to be together. We always were, and in the time that we weren't, you were always hiding in my heart anyways. Neither of us knew it. If only you'd accept that little piece of me that's in you... I know it's in there.

Telling you that
I loved you right from the start...
But the more I want you the less I get
Ain't that just the way things are...

It's always been in there. You damn idiot! Why won't you see it?! You put me through such pain, such loneliness, just because you won't accept it... I accepted it. I saw it. You are behind me again, and it's entirely your fault. I've always loved you for being up there with me. I almost wish you'd beat me one of these days.

And then, stupid stupid me, I told you that I loved you.

I told you, and now you're just tearing me apart like never before.

Winter has frozen us
Let love take hold of us
Cold cold cold

Anyone would argue that we are both cold, ice, frozen from emotion. And most would make the correct assumption that I am the less cold of us two. Please just see that it's not a weakness. Maybe I grow faster than you. Maybe I'm smarter than you. Maybe I've just had more opportunities than you. You could at least make an effort to let go...

Now we are shivering
Blue ice is glittering
Cold cold cold

The sky, the sky, the sky is grey, and the snow is white, and you, you are a blue, and there you are, up in the sky and the snow. Snow falls from your eyes, little pieces of your eyes. I let them fall on me, and make a wish that they will become a part of me. A little you in me.

Cold
Is the colour of crystal the snowlight
That falls from the heavenly skies
Catch me and let me dive under
For I want to swim in the pools of your eyes

I love you, I love you, I love you.

The snow is white is your tear. The sky is grey is your skin. The blue is your eyes, your eyes alone.

Hold me, hold me, hold me as I fall down down down away.

Don't you know it's
Cold cold cold...