Categories > Anime/Manga > Tsubasa/xxxHolic

Heart's Desire

by redex 2 reviews

Their love blooms in a hard place, where mine may not.

Category: Tsubasa/xxxHolic - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Angst, Romance - Characters: Fye, Kurogane, Other - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2006-02-26 - Updated: 2006-02-26 - 822 words - Complete

When they arrived four months ago, they didn't know where they were. It was one of our patrols that found them, in a villiage. There had been rumors of a great black swordsman in strange clothes travelling with a waife of a man with strange yellow hair who couldn't be hit.

Picking them up was not the hard part. When they arrived before me in my reception room, only the black one could speek some of our language with a strange accent. The other followed our conversation with a frown. This would have been puzzling enough on it's own, that they had gotten this far in our country without speaking the language hardly at all, but I soon realized that the blond one couldn't understand the dark one at all.

This alone would have been enough for me to doubt their story, but the familiarity that they had with each other was astounding, not to mention their fighting skills. They were easily the best fighters in the whole country, out of all my forces.

We soon collected their names, one of the few things that carried over no matter what the language. Fai and Kurogane. I asked if they were lovers, and Kurogane went a bright red, the first sign of weakness I had seen in him yet. He replied that yes, they were. Apparently it is not something that is asked in his country, wherever that may be.

I had them settled into quarters together, proclaimed personal attendants, and waited to see what they would do. They started by going through all the towns within a day's ride, searching for their missing companions. None were found. At the same time, the servents reported that there were no signs of sexual activity between them. Nevertheless, despite the wishes of my advisors, I kept them on.

Their sheer familiarity with one another, the ability to communicate without words, was what convinced me. It took only a touch, a movement, a half-grunt for them to efficiently point out all the flaws in my battle plan. It turned out that Fai was the better of the two when it came to strategy, but Kurogane was the one who truely wanted to fight.

That was when I first brought them onto the Castle of the Moon.

If anything, Kurogane seemed happier, almost joyful, in the middle of the bloodshed, wreaking havoc amoungst the tribe of Ashura, with Fai backing him up. A few glares and smiling shrugs took place when Fai took Kurogane's kill, but none of these silent arguments ever resulted in any rift between the two of them.

It was puzzling, and heartbreaking. If nothing else, I wanted that intimacy with someone. To communicate without words, to understand what the other is thinking before they even think it. But I knew that I would never have it, so all I could do was watch them.

We began to talk, Kurogane and I. He had a tendancy to drink, especially before a fight, and especially over Fai. After a month he admitted that they hadn't been lovers at the time that they arrived, but he did have deep feelings for "the mage".

It took a month of convincing for Kurogane to get up the courage, but soon I received reports of regular sexual activity in both men's beds. Some of the women servents even giggled over how loud they were, for men who barely spoke.

I caught them at it once, up against a wall in Fai's chambers. I had brought him a scroll to read, and found him pinned up against a wall with Kurogane's lips on his neck. It took a few moments longer than usual, but Kurogane suddenly noticed my presence and stepped backwards so quickly he nearly fell over. Exicuting the stiff, proper bow I had come to get used to from him, he blushed furiously. Fai only smiled in that quiet, amused way of his and raised a hand to rub at the bruise.

Fai was rapidly teaching himself our language, and yet the two of them still barely speak to one another.

I hold their love in my heart, hoping and praying that it will flourish in the place of my own. I have confided in Kurogane the pain of my feelings as I only grow more ill. Fai has tried to find some cure in the hours that are not spent on the battle-feild, but he does not know any of the plants. I reassure him that I will most likely be dead before he finds anything at all.

I am sure that they will find their companions and that which they seek, because they are full of hope and love. Their love for each other is strong, even though I am told they have only known each other for half a year. I am sure they will gain their heart's desire, as I know I will not.
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