(#) Ina_meishou 2009-02-15As of the fifth chapter, this is quite bad.
Some of the gags, Dan's reaction to Minerva's reassurances for instance, are funny, but they aren't enough to ignore the problems.
The true love magical bond between 11 year olds is...laughable. IN addition, while polyamorous relations are perfectly viable, it's terribly unlikely that hey would work out so perfectly as this one has.
All that said, the writing itself isn't to bad at all. Ignoring the content, you seem to have a reasonable grasp of grammar and structure.
Author's responseThank you for sharing your opinion.
Your feelings of respectful affection are completely reciprocated.
- @ ina
seriously, in a setting where a child is magically transported across the country and meets a 3/4 girl 1/4 magical love bird creature, sticks make magical things happen, etc. etc. etc.
you really are nitpicking about a poly relationship working?
Cause those can actually occur, and the magic stuff - not so much.
And so far, it's all just buddy-buddy, no bump and grind.
Looks good so far, and I can see how the original plot bunny is able to reach godzilla proportions.
Can't wait to see it rampage through JK's work.
- Whip on the plot bunny before I skin it for its fur.
What happens to Fleur when Harry/hermione have to go to school? Does Luna's father come back looking for Her?
Who sneaks into whoes dorms and do they bother old prudish Dumbles with the details.
Do they even know the details themselves? Do they want to?
- Question are we going to have more chapters to this story?
Author's responseThanks so much! I hope to get something more of this put up in the next few weeks, once I'm done with this one article I'm working on.
Sorry I can't update more quickly, but I'm a graduate student, and don't have much time for writing lately. For writing fanfic, I should say--my life pretty much revolves around writing non-fiction.
(#) The_Resident 2010-04-10I quite enjoyed the 'bonding' of the 4 and the gentle way everything was handled. I found it quite 'child-like' in the best sense of the word. It makes me wish I had such a magical childhood. I do hope that you have plans to continue this special story. Keep up the great work.
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