FicWad

“Here.” Gerard handed me the cup of herbal tea. I noticed that his hands were shaking. “Ray should be here any minute.”
I nodded. “Is he bringing Christa?”
Gerard sat down next to me on the sofa. “I don’t know. I just told him that something had happened and we needed to talk. I could tell she was with him because he didn’t ask any questions. He just said he’d be right over.”
I took a sip of the tea and tried to clear my mind. “It isn’t her.” I whispered.
Gerard got up and started to pace. “Laura you saw the video. That was her.”
“It couldn’t have been.” I answered. I sat down my teacup and stood. “You know it.”
“I don’t know anything.” He ran his hand over his face. “I don’t fucking know anything.”
I was so scared. We had come so far but now it seemed we were right back in the middle of the nightmare. I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. It broke my heart when I felt his body stiffen. He quickly pulled out of my embrace and began pacing.
As I started to speak again the doorbell rang. Gerard had moved to the window and was staring out into the night. I crossed the room and opened the door. Ray and Christa both greeted me.
“Come in.” I stepped back as they walked into our apartment.
Ray spotted Gerard. “What’s up?”
When Gerard turned from the window I wanted to cry. The look on his face was one of despair. “I saw her.” He said softly.
It was obvious Ray didn’t know what to say. “Her?”
I tried to take control of the situation. “Ray, Christa, have a seat.” They did but Ray kept his eyes trained on Gerard.
“What the fuck is going on?” Ray asked.
I waited a moment to see if Gerard was going to explain but he had turned back to the window. I took a deep breath, “I need to explain what’s happened starting with Jenny being attacked.”
Ray spoke up, “I know that is seems whoever attacked Jenny was really after you.”
Christa gasped, “What?”
So Gerard had told Ray but Ray hadn’t shared the information with Christa. I looked at her, “You know about Jenny being attacked?”
She nodded, “Yeah, I know it happened after she left your apartment.”
“Well, whoever attacked her called out my name before it happened. She was also wearing my hoodie so the attacker must have thought it was me.” I felt a tremor pass through my body.
“Oh, shit.” Christa whispered. She turned to Ray, “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”
He looked uncomfortable but offered no answer. Christa glared at him a moment then turned back to me. “God, I don’t know what to say. Why would anyone want to hurt you?”
“I don’t know.” I answered.
Ray broke into the conversation. “So what else has happened?”
I ignored him deciding that Christa had the right to know what else had happened. “Troy visited Jenny in the hospital the day he died.”
Christa looked confused, “I don’t get it. Does this have something to do with Jenny’s attack?”
I glanced over and saw that Gerard hadn’t moved. He was still staring out into the darkness. “Jenny said that Troy was really out of it when she saw him. He gave her an envelope to give to Gerard. He also told her that she said she’d made a mistake. That she had hurt the wrong one.”
A silence fell on the room. Finally Christa spoke. “Who’s ‘She’? I don’t understand.” When no one answered she asked another question. “Okay, so you think Troy knew who attacked Jenny?”
I sighed, “At first we thought it was Troy who had attacked her. Jenny said it was a woman but Troy could have disguised his voice.”
“But why would Troy attack you?” Christa was trying very hard to make sense of it all.
“To get back at Gerard.” I said softly.
“Because I love her so fucking much.” I hadn’t noticed my husband had crossed the room and was standing beside my chair. I smiled up at him and reached out to take his hand in mine.
“What was in the envelope?” Christa asked suddenly remembering that part of the story.
“It was a drawing of me that Gerard had done.” I answered. Gerard pulled his hand from mine and began to pace.
“But why would Troy tell Jenny that ‘she’ had told him she’d hurt the wrong one? I mean if he was the one who’s attacked her…” Her voice trailed off in confusion.
“Because we think that Gerard, when he was fucked up on drugs, may have told Troy about Merri. If he did then Troy was messing with Gerard’s mind.” Ray said joining the conversation.
“Oh fuck.” Christa whispered. She thought a minute then asked, “You really think you told Troy about Merri?” She asked looking at Gerard.
I answered, “We don’t think he knew about Merri’s death. Gerard probably just talked about her and Troy thought she was a bitter ex who would want revenge. I’m sure that if Troy knew about Merri’s death he would have done more than just try to play games with Gerard’s mind.”
“Play games with his mind?” Christa repeated, “Oh shit, you mean that maybe Troy drugged Gerard on the tour when he thought he saw Merri?” The picture was becoming clearer to her now.
“I believe Troy did drug him.” I said defending my husband. “I told you he didn’t take anything that day.”
“But he was drinking again.” Ray added softly.
Gerard stopped pacing and looked over at him, “Yeah, I started fucking drinking again.” The anger in his voice was clear.
“But he’s quit.” I said glaring at Ray.
Christa was still going over all the new information in her mind. “But Troy’s dead so any chance of Merri’s death being discovered is gone.”
I closed my eye and wasn’t sure what to say. Gerard spoke up.
“She’s not dead.” He said flatly.
Ray jumped to his feet. “You son of a bitch stop that shit. You and I both know Merri is dead. We fucking buried her.”
“You buried her.” As soon as the words left my mouth Ray’s anger was on me.
“Yeah, I fucking buried her. I fucking cleaned up Gerard’s mess.” He shouted.
Christa stood and went to him, “Ray, calm down.” She tried to put her arms around him but he took a step back. He moved closer to where Gerard stood, “Why did you say she’s not dead? What the fuck did you mean?”
Gerard looked down at the floor, “A police officer came by earlier. They have been reviewing the security camera footage trying to find Jenny’s attacker. The camera that would have caught the attack wasn’t working. They have been looking at footage from the other floors. The office wanted to show us the film they found of a woman entering the stairwell around the time Jenny was attacked.” He took a deep breath, “The woman in the video is Merri.”
Ray began shaking his head, “No, that’s not possible.”
I stood and went to Gerard. He opened his arms and I stepped into his embrace. For a moment I hugged him tightly then stepped back. I turned to Ray, “I saw the video. The woman looks like Merri.”
“But it’s not her.’ Ray said loudly, “It can’t be.”
“Tell me what the fuck is going on?” Gerard said at Ray, “Please. Tell me what the fuck is going on.”
Ray took several steps back and sat back down on the sofa. He just kept shaking his head, “I don’t know.”
Christa sat down next to him. “Someone is still fucking with Gerard.” She said.
Gerard looked over at her, “But who?”
None of us had an answer to that question.

Ray and Christa left an hour later after a very tense conversation. No one knew that to say about what was happening. It was obvious Ray still held a large amount of anger towards Gerard about what had happened with Merri. I believed his own guilt concerning her made this easy for him to do. Gerard on the other had had seemed to let go of some of the guilt he felt but definitely not all. And that worried me.
“Let’s go to bed.” I said walking up and putting my arms around his waist as soon as he closed the door following Ray and Christa’s departure.
“You go ahead.” He said sounding so tired, “I’m gonna stay up a bit and watch some TV.”
I didn’t believe him for a minute. In his present state of mind he wouldn’t be watching some mindless TV show. I shook my head. “No, I’ll stay up with you.”
He pulled away from me but not from me. “Honey, you need your sleep. You’ve got to take care of yourself.”
I felt tears spring to my eyes, “I just don’t want to leave you alone.” I whispered
He led me over to the sofa and we sat down together. “Stop worrying about me. I’m okay.”
I snuggled up next to him. “Yeah, sure you are.” I said softly.
He placed his finger under my chin and raised my face to look into his eyes. “I’m okay because I have to be. I have to be okay for you and the baby.”
Well shit. I broke into tears. He was being such a wonderful; loving husband and all I seemed able to do was blubber. I told him so and he just laughed.
“Sugar, it’s okay.” He said grabbing a tissue and drying my eyes, “Pregnancy has made you a bit emotional.
“A bit?” I giggled through my tears, “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
He stood and helped me to my feet. “Okay, now I’m gonna tuck you into bed and you’re gonna get some sleep.”
He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. Once I was in bed he pulled up the covers and dropped a kiss on my forehead. “Sleep, Sugar. I’ll come to bed soon.”
“Really?” I whispered.
“Really.” He stood up. “I’m just gonna smoke a cigarette out on the balcony and think. If you need me just yell.”
“I love you.” I said meaning it with all my heart.
“Love you, too.” He answered.
I watched him walk out of the bedroom with tears in my eyes. God, he was trying so hard to be a good husband for me. I just wished with all my heart that this nightmare would finally end and we could be truly happy. I tried to close my eyes but sleep wouldn’t come. After twenty minutes I gave up and got out of bed. Silently I walked through the darkened apartment to the balcony doors. He was sitting in the dark with his head bowed. When I slid open the door he looked up. I could see the tears glistening in his eyes.
“You can never let me be weak without seeing it, can you?” There was no anger in his voice only regret.
I moved towards him and he sat up so I could settle on his lap. “No.” I whispered, “No more than you can let me be weak and alone.”
He put his arms around me and buried his head against my neck. “Laura, I don’t know that to do. I’m so fucking afraid the sins from my past are going to harm you.”
“Nothing is going to harm me.” I said with conviction. “As long as I have you my life is complete.”
We sat in the darkness holding each other. For now there were no more words needed. Being together was all we needed.