Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Seven Ways To Sunday
“Baby, its time to wake up.” Pete said. I hadn’t been sleep. I was faking it, people were still staring at me from me singing and it was making me uncomfortable. I knew if they saw I was awake they would start to pry and I didn’t want that at all. He pulled me up from my chair and I headed off the plane and into LAX. We got our bags and then got into a waiting town car.
Marcia and I had done our best to cover up my black eye and all the bruises on my face with makeup and I realized that may have been another reason everyone was staring at me on the plane. It was definitely time to touch it up. We drove for about 30 minutes until we pulled into a gate. Then up to a house that was bigger than my house but not huge.
“You look like you’re surprised.” he said
“I just expected you to have this huge castle of a house, not something that looked normal.” I said as we got out of the car. The driver got out and started getting the bags. “I like this better,” I didn’t want him to think I was disappointed or anything.
“Well its only me and my dog. Every once in a while the guys come out but I have two bedrooms and that’s more than enough.” I smiled he wasn’t being the stuck up prick I took him for the first time I met him. “So I guess you can have the spare room.” my smile fell and he noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“I thought…Never mind the spare room will be fine.” I said. I was hoping that… well I don’t know what I was hoping. Okay I do know, I was hoping that he and I would share a room. I mean what was I exactly, I remember back at Bert’s he said he was my boyfriend, but we hadn’t exactly said that was what he was. We hadn’t really said anything about our relationship.
“…I just don’t wanna rush myself into anything so soon after what happened. I mean I think I need a little space for a while. I mean I already moved across the country. That is more than enough change for right now.” I rolled my eyes he was referring to me as himself again.
“But…” I started to tell him that I wasn’t afraid of being with him.
“Non, I don’t trust my self to sleep next to you and not touch you. I’m doing this for both of us. Right now you can’t handle that and I’m also going to look into getting you into rehab again.”
“Pete I’m already clean I don’t need to go to rehab again.”
“Well than you need to see someone,” he looked down at his hands. “You scared me the other day when you were in the car. You asked me if there was anything worth living for and it made me think that…” he had assumed right. I wasn’t going to simply kill myself in a conventional way like slitting my wrist or shooting myself in the head. I was going to go out slowly and let myself deteriorate over a few months using drugs. I would have been lucky to make it till the next year. I knew that while I was in that car and it wasn’t something I wanted to do but at the moment it seemed like the only way out. That’s why I called for help.
“Look I’ll talk to someone, but I don’t need to go to rehab again.” he looked like he wanted to fight.
“Then you will go to NA meetings, with out a doubt.” He opened the door letting us into the house. I wanted to protest but knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere so I dropped it. “Come on I’ll show you around.” We walked into the house and to our right and to our left were hallways and in front of us a stairway that went down. He turned right. “Here’s the kitchen, Hemmy’s room. We will pick him up from the dog sitters tomorrow sometime, but do yourself a favor and don’t ever try to sleep on his couch.” I smiled as I looked at the couch covered in half eaten pieces of clothing and other random stuff. “Oh and watch your clothes and shoes. He loves to eat shoes. Out here is the balcony it.” he opened the door and I followed him out. There was a hammock like bed and the view was out over the hills of LA.
We headed back inside the walked toward the other hallway that went to the left. There was a closet in the hallway then at the end were two doors. He went to the one to the left first.
“This is my room.” he opened the rood and there was a bed and a clothing rack with a bunch of hoodies on it. There was a huge tv and another door leading out to the patio. “There’s my bathroom.” he motioned to the door on the other side of the room. “Your room is across the hall. I’ll show you.” he took my hand and I followed him across the hall. He opened the door to reveal a fully furnished bed room. There was another large TV, and a queen sized bed. “Your closet is over there. If there’s anything you need let me know. You also have your own bath room, its right over there.” he pointed to another door on the other side of the room. “I’m going to go order a pizza, anything you want on it?”
“Surprise me,” he smiled. “Just don’t surprise me with anchovies.”
“Okay well you go ahead and unpack.” I just nodded and he left me. I opened the first zipper on my bag and sitting on the top was a group photo. They must have done that on purpose. It was all of us, before I started using, with Jepha, Frank and his old girlfriend Jamia, Gerard, Marcia, Janay and her then boyfriend named Seth. He was a cute kid but never really fit in with our group. I was standing next to Jepha and Frank, Jepha’s arm was around me and I was leaning into him with a huge smile.
I smiled at the memories I had, of before I turned into what I was now. Even through everything with my father, my other family always seemed to make things okay. I knew why it didn’t work this time, its cause now they knew. They knew about my father and everything he did. I mean I used to be able to hide things pretty well from them. Marcia thought I was getting in fights at school and the guys just thought I was clumsy as hell. It helped that I would fall on purpose a lot. Most times careful that one of them was nearby to catch me before any damage was done.
“I’m going to get better.” I said to the picture. “I’m going to get better for you guys. Then we can all smile.” I placed the picture on the bedside table and went back to unpacking.
Marcia and I had done our best to cover up my black eye and all the bruises on my face with makeup and I realized that may have been another reason everyone was staring at me on the plane. It was definitely time to touch it up. We drove for about 30 minutes until we pulled into a gate. Then up to a house that was bigger than my house but not huge.
“You look like you’re surprised.” he said
“I just expected you to have this huge castle of a house, not something that looked normal.” I said as we got out of the car. The driver got out and started getting the bags. “I like this better,” I didn’t want him to think I was disappointed or anything.
“Well its only me and my dog. Every once in a while the guys come out but I have two bedrooms and that’s more than enough.” I smiled he wasn’t being the stuck up prick I took him for the first time I met him. “So I guess you can have the spare room.” my smile fell and he noticed. “What’s wrong?”
“I thought…Never mind the spare room will be fine.” I said. I was hoping that… well I don’t know what I was hoping. Okay I do know, I was hoping that he and I would share a room. I mean what was I exactly, I remember back at Bert’s he said he was my boyfriend, but we hadn’t exactly said that was what he was. We hadn’t really said anything about our relationship.
“…I just don’t wanna rush myself into anything so soon after what happened. I mean I think I need a little space for a while. I mean I already moved across the country. That is more than enough change for right now.” I rolled my eyes he was referring to me as himself again.
“But…” I started to tell him that I wasn’t afraid of being with him.
“Non, I don’t trust my self to sleep next to you and not touch you. I’m doing this for both of us. Right now you can’t handle that and I’m also going to look into getting you into rehab again.”
“Pete I’m already clean I don’t need to go to rehab again.”
“Well than you need to see someone,” he looked down at his hands. “You scared me the other day when you were in the car. You asked me if there was anything worth living for and it made me think that…” he had assumed right. I wasn’t going to simply kill myself in a conventional way like slitting my wrist or shooting myself in the head. I was going to go out slowly and let myself deteriorate over a few months using drugs. I would have been lucky to make it till the next year. I knew that while I was in that car and it wasn’t something I wanted to do but at the moment it seemed like the only way out. That’s why I called for help.
“Look I’ll talk to someone, but I don’t need to go to rehab again.” he looked like he wanted to fight.
“Then you will go to NA meetings, with out a doubt.” He opened the door letting us into the house. I wanted to protest but knew it wouldn’t get me anywhere so I dropped it. “Come on I’ll show you around.” We walked into the house and to our right and to our left were hallways and in front of us a stairway that went down. He turned right. “Here’s the kitchen, Hemmy’s room. We will pick him up from the dog sitters tomorrow sometime, but do yourself a favor and don’t ever try to sleep on his couch.” I smiled as I looked at the couch covered in half eaten pieces of clothing and other random stuff. “Oh and watch your clothes and shoes. He loves to eat shoes. Out here is the balcony it.” he opened the door and I followed him out. There was a hammock like bed and the view was out over the hills of LA.
We headed back inside the walked toward the other hallway that went to the left. There was a closet in the hallway then at the end were two doors. He went to the one to the left first.
“This is my room.” he opened the rood and there was a bed and a clothing rack with a bunch of hoodies on it. There was a huge tv and another door leading out to the patio. “There’s my bathroom.” he motioned to the door on the other side of the room. “Your room is across the hall. I’ll show you.” he took my hand and I followed him across the hall. He opened the door to reveal a fully furnished bed room. There was another large TV, and a queen sized bed. “Your closet is over there. If there’s anything you need let me know. You also have your own bath room, its right over there.” he pointed to another door on the other side of the room. “I’m going to go order a pizza, anything you want on it?”
“Surprise me,” he smiled. “Just don’t surprise me with anchovies.”
“Okay well you go ahead and unpack.” I just nodded and he left me. I opened the first zipper on my bag and sitting on the top was a group photo. They must have done that on purpose. It was all of us, before I started using, with Jepha, Frank and his old girlfriend Jamia, Gerard, Marcia, Janay and her then boyfriend named Seth. He was a cute kid but never really fit in with our group. I was standing next to Jepha and Frank, Jepha’s arm was around me and I was leaning into him with a huge smile.
I smiled at the memories I had, of before I turned into what I was now. Even through everything with my father, my other family always seemed to make things okay. I knew why it didn’t work this time, its cause now they knew. They knew about my father and everything he did. I mean I used to be able to hide things pretty well from them. Marcia thought I was getting in fights at school and the guys just thought I was clumsy as hell. It helped that I would fall on purpose a lot. Most times careful that one of them was nearby to catch me before any damage was done.
“I’m going to get better.” I said to the picture. “I’m going to get better for you guys. Then we can all smile.” I placed the picture on the bedside table and went back to unpacking.
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