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“Kakuzu!”

There he went again. Screaming and complaining like always, never shutting up. “What is it Hidan?” Kakuzu found that asserting to Hidan’s needs early in the day would make him far more agreeable.

“Let’s stop for the day!” Hidan said, “We’ll start traveling again tomorrow.”

“No.” Screw asserting to his needs, they were not wasting a day. Kakuzu was fine if Hidan threw a tantrum.

“What? No! We’ve been walking for two day’s straight!” Hidan whined stomping his feet, “I’m tired!”

It was just like him, to over exaggerate. Hmm, Hidan wasn’t cussing. “We have traveled less then a day since our last stop, you moron.” Kakuzu turned to look back at Hidan, “So shut up.”

“But I’m fucking tired!”

“Maybe you should get in better shape.”

“What? I’m in excellent shape! I’m fucking ripped!” Hidan pulled his cloak open more, showing off a slightly sculpted chest, “Impressed?”

He was a fool really, had Hidan been a woman and they were in a town, a cop would give him a ticket for practicing prostitution with out a license. Who knows, they may give him one even as a man. “No I’m not Hidan.” Kakuzu said looking at the white haired man blankly, “Button up your cloak.”

“Fucking make me!”

Hidan was so stubborn. Kakuzu walked to Hidan and grabbed his cloak, slowly fastening it closed. “You’re a brat.”

Hidan shrugging was Kakuzu’s response. The shrug caused the cloak to slip of his shoulders to reveal his collar. “You wanna touch?”

Kakuzu looked up slowly. Hidan had to be high on something; perhaps chakra amplifiers? No, they didn’t work on him all that well; they wore off to quickly to really work or give him any symptoms. “Touch you? Why would I want to? No, why would you want me to?”

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” Hidan said in a sultry tone, “So don’t ask why.” He leaned forward splaying his right hand across his bare chest, giving Kakuzu a look that screamed whore.

Kakuzu looked at the albino ninja with confusion and resumed fastening his cloak.

Hidan smirked at his partner. “So you saw that it was a joke, hmm? You’re the first person to know that.” He began to go into a rather long explanation at how dumb people were.

Kakuzu squeezed his eyes shut. The boy was giving him a headache. He had to shut him up. And so he kissed him roughly, his tongue forcing it’s way into Hidan’s mouth.

Hidan’s eyes grew wide. He grabbed Kakuzu’s shoulders and pushed him away. “The fuck are you doing?"

“Shutting you up.” Kakuzu said walking away.

--

Days had passed after Kakuzu kissed Hidan, and the albino ninja had been relatively quiet. It was a dream come true for the stitched man.

“Kakuzu?”

His bliss was gone. “What Hidan?” Kakuzu asked, turning around to look at his partner.

Hidan picked at his sleeve nervously before using his hand to usher Kakuzu to lean down. When Kakuzu’s face was level with his, Hidan kissed him on his mask-covered lips.

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan’s neck and he slammed him into a tree. His hearts were beating franticly and his breath ragged. “Hidan?” He set Hidan on the ground and looked at him carefully before lifting up both hands to barely touch his thin face.

Hidan reached up and pulled Kakuzu’s mask down. “I hate you…” he muttered, licking Kakuzu’s lips then biting his nose. “Wanna touch?”

Kakuzu removed Hidan’s hachimaki. “God yes…” He cupped Hidan’s pale face in his hands and tenderly kissed him, “I want to touch you everywhere.”

“I hate you.” Hidan muttered again, “I want you to touch me everywhere, too. Son of a bitch, why did you have to kiss me?”

“I did it to shut you up.” Kakuzu said, bending his knees to lick from the base of Hidan’s neck to his chin.

“Bastard.”