Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Immortal - Part I: Shadows of Guilt
Prologue - Ghosts of a Memory
1 reviewAs Voldemort begins his second rise to power, the eyes of the world are fixed on England. One man, a survivor of the First War, sends an operative to aid the child of prophecy.
-1Boring
Reviews
Immortal - Part I: Shadows of Guilt
(#) mathmans 2008-08-20
I like the story so far. I think you need some type of summary so people will take and interest in the story and read it.
As for grammar corrections: you did a very good job only three things I noticed.
One: Opening quotes should be above the line like "My name is Tim." the boy said.
Two: When new paragraph should be started when ever there is a new speaker.
Three: 'Safed' is not a word the word you should use is 'saved'. Off by only one letter.
Otherwise great job. I look forward to more.
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