FicWad

I sat outside for a good hour and thought over everything. The days were dragging on so slowly. I still have weeks left of this momentous summer and I was wasting them analyzing things to death.

The storm had passed quickly as I rested against the house siding. I don't know why but I urged for progression; there just had to be more than this. That was when I heard the slide door open and turned and saw Patrick walking up with a casual smile on his face as he said, "Mind if I join you?"
I shook my head and said, "Not at all. In fact, I sort of need the company. It was getting pretty depressing out here watching the clouds disappear all by myself."
He nodded, "Yeah, there‘s nothing like a good storm to get your blood, or in our case, hormones pumping."
I made a face in shock and asked, "Was that supposed to be a pick-up line?"
"I don't know. You tell me," he said while raising one eyebrow.
I exhaled a sigh and leaned over and kissed him softly. He wasn’t very surprised but leaned in as well and kissed back.
After a short time, I pulled away.
"Wow," Patrick said sarcastically, "I swear, it's like I'm growing attracted to you or something!"
I blushed and he asked in a prestige and intelligent manner, "Would you like to have a drink with me?"
I laughed and raised an eyebrow at him, which led him on to saying, "I promise I won't get you drunk this time."
"Fine then. Sweep me off my feet, Prince Charming, "I giggled and stood up and locked my arm with his as he led me inside.

We went inside and he opened this cabinet that was literally packed with nearly every alcoholic beverage that stood out from your usual description of getting a drink.
He picked one that was smaller and had less alcohol in it and pulled out two wine glasses and handed one to me. As he poured my glass, I thought really hard about something I could ask him. The quietness was killing me. I saw Patrick try to sneak a yawn in but it wasn't very secretive since a tear rolled down his cheek.
"If you're tired, you should go to sleep," I said and reached over and caught the tear on the tip of my finger before it hit the floor.

"Aw, but I want to stay here with you," he said pleadingly in a way that reminded me of a little kid. He was so cute. I grinned and said, "Well fine, stay awake with me. So...that kiss back there reminded me of a song I used to love."
He nodded and asked, "What song is that?"
"We're at the Top of the World," I said shyly as I rubbed the back of my head.
He smiled and we continued to converse until we moved onto the subject of school.
"What do you plan on doing now that you've graduated?" he asked instinctively.
"Um, I am thinking about going to school in Chicago to major in photo journalism. Also, I‘d take a few other courses to refresh my memory of basic knowledge," I explained.
He nodded and then comment, "That'd be a hard schedule to break especially if we ever make it big. We probably wouldn't be able to take you along with us on tours and stuff."
My stomach dropped. I hadn't thought of that.
"I'd still keep in touch with Andy though...I guess. That really is a flaw to my plan now, isn't it? Damn, and here I thought I'd be able to stalk your band with ease," I said, trying to make some humor to the conversation.
It was quiet and I was starting to think it was hopeless to keep the conversation going, but the Patrick said, "I'm sorry for saying that...now you're disappointed."
He wore a slight pout on his face, though behind his eyes, I could tell that my leaving was hurting him too.
I switched the subject by asking, "What's the name of your band?"
"We don't have one yet," he said under his breath.
"How about…something that reminds you of your hometown?" I suggested.
He nodded and gave me a smirk then said; "What, like the Simpsons?"

“Yeah! That’s a great idea! Be like…the sidekick, what was his name?” I asked.

“Fallout boy,” he answered sheepishly.

“I like that,” I muttered, “It’s got a ring to it.”

“Well, I’ll remember that for future reference,” he grinned with a gleam in his eyes.

So, it’s been a couple of weeks since I arrived and I’ve found that I really enjoy spending time with Patrick, Pete, and Joe. I feel bad for judging them so much at first, but I’m glad that I chose to come in the first place. It’s been so much fun! We’ve spent the last few weeks getting kicked out of shopping malls, lighting fireworks, and making amateur home videos. It turns out that I only had a week left and I really didn't want to spend them sitting at Pete's house doing nothing all day.
I had definitely grown a bond with Patrick and I knew that it would be really hard when I had to leave. I was positive now that they were going to make it in the music industry. I'd overheard Pete talking about making a record with this record label called Fueled by Ramen or something. And that made me realize how small a relationship would be compared to that. Besides, my conscience kept assuring me that any further effort was futile. We wouldn’t work. I have my goals and he had his. I wish things weren’t be so complicated.
Patrick started avoiding me after they’d found a record company that’d give them the time of day. He wouldn't look me in the eye anymore and he kept making excuses no why he had to leave so much. I knew exactly why but…I had to make sure that my conscience wasn’t leading me astray. I had to get my facts straight.

I approached him two days before I had to leave in Pete’s backyard and asked, “Why are you avoiding me?”

He sighed before looking me in the eye for the first time since this mess started and said, "I really like you...but you're leaving so there's no point in even trying to work this out. You've got college to look forward to and I have a tour. I don't see the point in even trying now."
I felt my breath shorten for a few seconds as I stood there in a slight form of shock. He was giving up on me. This could not be happening.
"I can‘t believe what I‘m hearing. Is that really what you think or is that what you think has to be done? I want to mean something to you after this!”

“W-well, I don’t,” he said lowly before walking off without another word.

I thought he meant everything he said. I thought he was the one who would stick it out in the end with me. I really thought he would be better than this person he’s sunk to.

It felt as if my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I could just fall over right there and not even be able to pick myself up. The tears spilled out my eyes like faucets as I turned and ran the other way, not caring who would find me. I had to run, run as far I fucking could without stopping. Maybe he’d change his mind about this stupid naïve girl he just threw away.

I didn‘t see him after that. By then, it was obvious that it meant that he really didn’t want to see me again. I-I thought he was different than those guys who do such terrible things to girls because they think its right not to get tied down.

It’s just pathetic that this horrible event could ruin my entire summer. All the fun I had… it just seems like a complete lie now. And after spending two days locked up in a bathroom because I didn’t want anyone to know about it, I had forced myself to realize the cruel knife of reality.

While I was getting ready to put my suitcase in the trunk of Andy's car, Pete walked outside to say his goodbyes. I gave him a long hug before I got inside the car, shut the door, and leaned against it as Andy started the engine. I stared out the window distantly as a few tears roll down my cheeks. I thought about how much I wished things could be different. And how they’d probably never be the same.

"You going to be okay, Nathalie? I don't want you to be upset over this. I’m sure that Patrick must be feeling pretty crappy right now and that he'll come around eventually," said Andy in an attempt to try to cheer me up.
"No,” I said firmly, “This summer is over. I’ve made my decision now. I want to go back home to Chicago.”
Andy sighed and started to drive a little bit, but something caught my eye. I saw someone running in the rearview mirror. I already knew who it was. I knew that it'd be useless to make Andy pull over, so I grabbed my notebook and wrote quickly, “Please don't look for me. This is what you wanted. To forget this summer…” and threw the whole notebook out the window. It had been filled with songs that Pete and me had written together whenever Patrick wasn't around.
I felt bad for leaving without saying goodbye, but I wasn’t going to pine over a dumb summer fling. That's all it was to him anyway...


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Three years later
“These are amazing pictures! When were they taken?" Jaden, my room mate, asked as she took the finished pictures off the wire and looked at them through the red light.

“They were taken three years ago," I answered dimly, not bothering to explain the events that occurred so long ago.
"Who's the guy in this one? He's kind of cute!" she squealed when she saw one of the pictures of Patrick on the swing. I didn't say anything which made her squeal and say, "Well whoever he was, he must've meant a lot to you if he let you take this one!"
I turned my head to look at it, expecting a picture of Patrick, but instead there was a nude picture of Pete. Startled, I screamed, "Oh my god! Gross! How the hell did that get on there?"
She laughed and commented, "I have no idea why you didn't develop these pictures before. They're incredible and the boys in them are so cute! You looked so happy back then…”
I rolled my eyes and turned my back and pulled another photo out of the developing fluid and hung it up.

“Who are they?”
“I don't want to talk about it,” I huffed stubbornly. There are just some things that people shouldn’t talk about. Especially, summer hook-ups.
“Aww come on, at least tell me who the nakey one is!”
“His name is Pete and he's a good friend of mine and Andy's,” I answered honestly.

“I can’t we’re looking at these,” I chuckled before turning the red light off and walking out of the developing room into my dorm room, which was wonderfully split in half with mine and Jaden’s side of the room. Mine being neat and normal looking and hers being messy and girly. Lovely.

Sitting on my bed, I laid my head on the pillow and started to shut my eyes when Jaden came in asking, “So, what’s the story with that boy? There’s a lot of chemistry in those pictures.”
Shrugging, I answered simply, “Patrick is a friend of my brother’s that I sort of had a thing with a couple of years ago. I haven't really talked to him in a long time so it doesn't matter now. He went on tour with his band and I‘m a college kid. And that‘s it.”
“Oh...is he in your brothers band? What was their name again? Fall out boy or whatever?" she asked.
“Yeah, Patrick's their singer and guitarist,” I answered normally. It was still mind-blowing that the years flew by like they did. I’ve grown up a lot in these years; I was no longer worried about what people think of me and I didn’t care if I let a little feminism show once in a while.
But all in all, Patrick did come to mind once in a while...but it only just made me wonder what could’ve happened if it didn’t end so badly. But hey, the past was the past.
"If he's in your brother's band, then why don't you keep in contact with him anymore?"
I rolled my eyes and answered, "Because I don't really want to talk to him. He didn’t want to be with me anymore so I let him go. It took a while, but it’s over now! And I’m moving on.”

I sent her a reassuring smile so she’d know that it didn’t really matter to me anymore, but she just frowned and went to the bathroom.


I went outside of my dorm and went downstairs to the main office to pick up my mail. There were a few bills and a flat box.
I opened the flat box and found a small CD inside it as I entered into my dorm room.
"Take this to your Grave. Fall out boy," I read aloud. Shrugging nonchalantly, I opened the CD case and found a tiny note inside that said; "Listen to Homesick at Space Camp. We (as in Patrick and I) wrote that for you, sweetheart. Love, Pete."
I sighed and dropped the CD onto my desk and said, "I'll listen to it later," and then asked Jaden if she wanted to go to the mall with me. She said yes, so I picked up my purse, and already started out the door when she picked up the CD I threw and asked, "Aren't you going to listen to it?"
"I wasn't planning on listening to it yet.." I trailed off. She shrugged and placed it in her bag anyways and walked with me to my car.
When we got into the car, she put the CD in the player as I started the car up. She switched it to track 5 and I spaced out as soon as the vocals started.
"Awww, Pete and the rest of the band miss you! This is a really good song by the way. I think I'm going to like this band," she said with a smile. She then flipped through the tracks and went to number 7; Chicago is so two years ago.
I felt a small little grin trying to sneak its way out of the corner of my mouth as I accidentally ran through a stop sign.
“It's illegal to not stop at a stop sign, you could've just been sideswiped by a single mother who drives an SUV. I could've been killed!" she giggled melodramatically.
“You're paranoid. Besides, no one saw it so it technically never happened,” I replied trying to confuse her. She had a blank stare out the window before she piped up and said, "Wait a minute! I saw it!"
I nearly smacked my hand over my head in reply to her slow mindedness but shook my head as I pulled into the mall parking lot. As we got out and walked across the large parking lot, I started to hum a familiar tune. Jaden smirked and asked, "Are you humming the Beatles? You dork, haha."
"Would you rather me sing it at the top of my lungs?" I asked and started to sing really loudly and purposely bad to make her self-conscious.
"But when I get home to YOU, I find the things that you DO, they make feel alright!" I screeched and laughed as she made several gestures at me to stop.
By the time we got to the door, we had already turned a bunch of heads as we pressed the buttons on the handicap doors. I started skipping towards a bench when I heard a familiar song being blasted from one of the stores. It was In too deep by Sum 41.
It was only shortly after that I stood on top of the bench, and started rocking out to the song with my hands in the air.

"Nat, what are you doing?" Jaden laughed as she whipped her phone out so she could get this on video.
As soon as the guitar solo came in the song, I did a handstand on the back of the two back-to-back benches and stayed there for like three seconds before coming down on the opposite side.

Jaden stood there with her phone, a shocked look on her face as she screamed, "That was super kawaii! Oh my god! I didn't know you could do that, you're almost like a ninja!"
I held my head and said, "I didn't know I could do that either...it had to be that energy drink you gave me earlier! I‘m never that coordinated!"

"Just don’t do it again or you could get arrested," she muttered as her eyes shot the security guard a dirty look.
She gave me a high five as we walked towards the music store and saw a large poster that said, "Take this to your grave- out today!!!"
"Wow, they're really well known here apparently," I said in a surprised tone. Just then, I received a text message on my phone that read; "Hey, isn't your birthday coming up?"
It was from Pete.
I texted back, "Yeah, why?" then received an answer from him saying, "It's a surprise."
I then wrote back, "Tell me so I don't flip out over it. Wasn't the CD you sent enough of a gift?"
"Hell no. haha, ILY lil girl. I hope to see you REAL soon