Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Nobody Cares If We're Losing Ourselves
Am I Losing Myself?
1 reviewJaime goes to an MCR concert and wakes the next day changed. Dun dun dun.
0Unrated
The show was amazing, but she just wasn’t into it. She didn’t know any of the songs, and though they seemed pretty good, it’s just hard to get excited when you have no idea what’s going on. The fans were thrashing and screaming as one, and Jaime Evans was just standing there, taking it all in.
Her best friend Beth Bennett was screaming as loud as everyone else. Beth was a devoted My Chemical Romance fan. Sometimes Jaime even thought a bit obsessive. Beth had been to every My Chem show that ever came through their home town. This time Beth had even been lucky enough to win two tickets and backstage passes from the local radio station. And so Jaime was here, watching the band she had heard so much about from her friend, but had never taken the time to listen to.
The last song rang out to a dramatic end and the house lights came up. Jaime turned to Beth.
“Ready?” Beth asked, grinning.
“Always,” Jaime replied, offering her arm. Beth linked her arm with Jaime’s outstretched one and the two of them cheerfully made their way toward the backstage area where they would be allowed in to meet the band.
They were made to wait for about 20 minutes before security checked their tickets and let them through. They were led, along with about 20 other contest winners – all young girls, Jaime noticed – through a maze of hallways until they entered a large room with several couches and five familiar heartthrobs.
The band greeted the fans warmly, signing autographs and taking pictures. Beth immediately squealed and ran over to be the first in line. Jaime hung back, letting the more excited fans rush past her to meet their idols.
Jaime found herself near the singer for most of the evening. What was his name? Beth had rambled them all off before, was it Jerry? No, it was more unusual than that…He was polite enough, though he didn’t seem able to get close to anyone. Jaime understood in a way. He would be gone tomorrow, no point in making friends today. She wondered what it was like. She knew she could never live like that.
The evening was winding to a close when Beth came running up behind Jaime, jumping on her back and causing her to drop her open purse. Pens, paper and makeup spilled out of it. Jaime grumbled and pushed Beth off her back before squatting down to gather her stuff. Her hand bumped into someone else’s as she looked up to see the singer – Gerard! That was it! - on his knee, helping her pick up her things.
She smiled shyly, accepting his outstretched hand to help her to her feet. He offered her the things he’d gathered from the ground and she accepted them with a mumbled “Thank you.”
As their hands touched she felt a strange tingling shoot up her arm, and it wasn’t pleasant. She shivered, turning around looking for Beth, who was across the room again talking to the shorter guitarist. She turned around to find Gerard looking at her strangely. She gave him a weak smile.
“Hi,” she said curtly, trying to break the awkwardness, while at the same time not give him the wrong idea. She didn’t want to talk to him.
“Hi,” he replied. “I’m Gerard.”
She smiled again, uncomfortable. What did this guy think? That just because he was famous she would start bouncing up and down begging him to pay attention to her? She honestly couldn’t care less who he was and at the moment she was feeling quite anxious. She would love nothing more than for him to leave her alone. It was nothing against him, she was this way with just about everyone. Trust did not come easy for her, especially with guys.
She just stared at him. She knew she was being rude, but this guy just wouldn’t take a hint. “What’s your name?” he asked.
“Jaime.”
“You’re pretty cute,” he said. Cute? Fucking cute? “You’re different. You haven’t tried to get me out of my pants or tell me how perfect we would be together. You haven’t even asked to have my babies.” She noticed to gold band on his left finger and made a disgusted face.
“I’m with someone,” she snapped. He nodded.
“I respect that. Lucky guy.”
“Girl actually.”
She looked around nervously to find that the room was mostly empty now, leaving only the band, herself, and Beth. The short guitarist ran up to them and jumped on Gerard. Jaime turned toward Beth, who was patiently waiting for her so they could leave. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Gerard was behind her again. He handed her a small piece of paper with a slight smirk and turned around and walked away.
“Nice to meet you, Jaime.” He called back at her. She shivered again. He creeped her out.
In the parking lot Beth pounced. “So? What was going on with you and Gerard? What did he give you?”
As she got into the passenger seat, Jaime pulled out the piece of paper she had shoved in her pocket. It was, predictably, a phone number. Beth squealed.
“Are you going to call him?”
“No.” It came out too loud, too quick.
Beth shot her a glare. Instantly the mood changed, became heavier. “Jaime,” Beth said quietly. “What happened with Brandon was eight years ago.”
Jaime winced at the name. “I’m not over it.”
Beth looked skeptical, but thankfully did not respond. Jaime took her chance to lighten the mood. “Hey,” she defended herself. “I don’t know this guy. Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s not a creeper. In fact it makes him more likely to be one.”
Beth sighed and threw her arms in the air. “Hopeless! You’re completely hopeless!”
Jaime laughed. “Easy, Juliet. You want it?”
Beth laughed too. “No, he gave it to you, not me. It’d be weird and fan-girlish if I called.”
“Oh, right, because you’re so not fan-girlish.”
Beth reached across the car and slapped her arm.
The drive home was uneventful and Beth dropped a very sleepy Jaime off at the apartment she and her brother shared. Jaime stumbled her way to her room and changed quickly for bed. She threw the crumpled piece of paper in the trash.
She flopped down on her bed and fell asleep instantly. She woke hours later to rough arms shaking her.
“Come on, sleepy!” a voice snapped. “We’re late. Get up!” she opened her eyes wearily, to find the short guitarist from the band yesterday shaking her roughly. She let out a small yelp and smacked his hand away. What the hell was he doing here? She sat up quickly the cursed when her head made contact with something hard. The short man laughed at her.
“You’re an idiot,” he laughed. “Get up.”
He pulled her up forcefully for such a small person and pushed her down what looked like a bus aisle towards a small bus bathroom. Tour bus. She was on a tour bus. She vaguely remembered the singer hitting on her last night. And he gave her his number. She didn’t go to bed with him, did she?
“Not again,” she mumbled. “Please say I wasn’t dumb enough to do this again.”
She pushed her way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She had seen three other men sitting on couches in the front room. She noticed that the front man in question was strangely absent.
She straightened up and looked herself over closely in the mirror. She screamed at what she saw. Gerard’s reflection, her reflection, was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.
Her best friend Beth Bennett was screaming as loud as everyone else. Beth was a devoted My Chemical Romance fan. Sometimes Jaime even thought a bit obsessive. Beth had been to every My Chem show that ever came through their home town. This time Beth had even been lucky enough to win two tickets and backstage passes from the local radio station. And so Jaime was here, watching the band she had heard so much about from her friend, but had never taken the time to listen to.
The last song rang out to a dramatic end and the house lights came up. Jaime turned to Beth.
“Ready?” Beth asked, grinning.
“Always,” Jaime replied, offering her arm. Beth linked her arm with Jaime’s outstretched one and the two of them cheerfully made their way toward the backstage area where they would be allowed in to meet the band.
They were made to wait for about 20 minutes before security checked their tickets and let them through. They were led, along with about 20 other contest winners – all young girls, Jaime noticed – through a maze of hallways until they entered a large room with several couches and five familiar heartthrobs.
The band greeted the fans warmly, signing autographs and taking pictures. Beth immediately squealed and ran over to be the first in line. Jaime hung back, letting the more excited fans rush past her to meet their idols.
Jaime found herself near the singer for most of the evening. What was his name? Beth had rambled them all off before, was it Jerry? No, it was more unusual than that…He was polite enough, though he didn’t seem able to get close to anyone. Jaime understood in a way. He would be gone tomorrow, no point in making friends today. She wondered what it was like. She knew she could never live like that.
The evening was winding to a close when Beth came running up behind Jaime, jumping on her back and causing her to drop her open purse. Pens, paper and makeup spilled out of it. Jaime grumbled and pushed Beth off her back before squatting down to gather her stuff. Her hand bumped into someone else’s as she looked up to see the singer – Gerard! That was it! - on his knee, helping her pick up her things.
She smiled shyly, accepting his outstretched hand to help her to her feet. He offered her the things he’d gathered from the ground and she accepted them with a mumbled “Thank you.”
As their hands touched she felt a strange tingling shoot up her arm, and it wasn’t pleasant. She shivered, turning around looking for Beth, who was across the room again talking to the shorter guitarist. She turned around to find Gerard looking at her strangely. She gave him a weak smile.
“Hi,” she said curtly, trying to break the awkwardness, while at the same time not give him the wrong idea. She didn’t want to talk to him.
“Hi,” he replied. “I’m Gerard.”
She smiled again, uncomfortable. What did this guy think? That just because he was famous she would start bouncing up and down begging him to pay attention to her? She honestly couldn’t care less who he was and at the moment she was feeling quite anxious. She would love nothing more than for him to leave her alone. It was nothing against him, she was this way with just about everyone. Trust did not come easy for her, especially with guys.
She just stared at him. She knew she was being rude, but this guy just wouldn’t take a hint. “What’s your name?” he asked.
“Jaime.”
“You’re pretty cute,” he said. Cute? Fucking cute? “You’re different. You haven’t tried to get me out of my pants or tell me how perfect we would be together. You haven’t even asked to have my babies.” She noticed to gold band on his left finger and made a disgusted face.
“I’m with someone,” she snapped. He nodded.
“I respect that. Lucky guy.”
“Girl actually.”
She looked around nervously to find that the room was mostly empty now, leaving only the band, herself, and Beth. The short guitarist ran up to them and jumped on Gerard. Jaime turned toward Beth, who was patiently waiting for her so they could leave. She felt a hand on her shoulder. Gerard was behind her again. He handed her a small piece of paper with a slight smirk and turned around and walked away.
“Nice to meet you, Jaime.” He called back at her. She shivered again. He creeped her out.
In the parking lot Beth pounced. “So? What was going on with you and Gerard? What did he give you?”
As she got into the passenger seat, Jaime pulled out the piece of paper she had shoved in her pocket. It was, predictably, a phone number. Beth squealed.
“Are you going to call him?”
“No.” It came out too loud, too quick.
Beth shot her a glare. Instantly the mood changed, became heavier. “Jaime,” Beth said quietly. “What happened with Brandon was eight years ago.”
Jaime winced at the name. “I’m not over it.”
Beth looked skeptical, but thankfully did not respond. Jaime took her chance to lighten the mood. “Hey,” she defended herself. “I don’t know this guy. Just because he’s famous doesn’t mean he’s not a creeper. In fact it makes him more likely to be one.”
Beth sighed and threw her arms in the air. “Hopeless! You’re completely hopeless!”
Jaime laughed. “Easy, Juliet. You want it?”
Beth laughed too. “No, he gave it to you, not me. It’d be weird and fan-girlish if I called.”
“Oh, right, because you’re so not fan-girlish.”
Beth reached across the car and slapped her arm.
The drive home was uneventful and Beth dropped a very sleepy Jaime off at the apartment she and her brother shared. Jaime stumbled her way to her room and changed quickly for bed. She threw the crumpled piece of paper in the trash.
She flopped down on her bed and fell asleep instantly. She woke hours later to rough arms shaking her.
“Come on, sleepy!” a voice snapped. “We’re late. Get up!” she opened her eyes wearily, to find the short guitarist from the band yesterday shaking her roughly. She let out a small yelp and smacked his hand away. What the hell was he doing here? She sat up quickly the cursed when her head made contact with something hard. The short man laughed at her.
“You’re an idiot,” he laughed. “Get up.”
He pulled her up forcefully for such a small person and pushed her down what looked like a bus aisle towards a small bus bathroom. Tour bus. She was on a tour bus. She vaguely remembered the singer hitting on her last night. And he gave her his number. She didn’t go to bed with him, did she?
“Not again,” she mumbled. “Please say I wasn’t dumb enough to do this again.”
She pushed her way into the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face. She had seen three other men sitting on couches in the front room. She noticed that the front man in question was strangely absent.
She straightened up and looked herself over closely in the mirror. She screamed at what she saw. Gerard’s reflection, her reflection, was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.
Sign up to rate and review this story