Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Forbidden
Sunny’s POV
Ryan and I were sitting on a bench in the park across the street from home, having ice cream cones. We were still laughing at the movie we just saw and I couldn’t help but stare a little when he smiled, averting my eyes away the second he looked back. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact just yet. The whole situation was just stupid, why couldn’t I just go back to see him as my friend? My brother even.
“Hey, come on…” Ryan said after we finished the cones and took my hand, pulling me up.
“What?” I giggled as he leaded me to the swings. “You can’t be serious…”
“Aww, it will be fun. Just like when we were little.” He said with a smile as I sat down on the board and looked at him.
“It was fun until you told me to jump and I landed on my head.” We both started laughing at the memory.
“Well, it wasn’t my fault you actually believed me that you’d fly that way.” The giggles faded as I stared at my feet, pushing me back and forth. Ryan sighed and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Sunny…” He started.
“Ryan, just…” I was about to stop him, but he shook his head and I stopped.
“Listen. I know something is wrong with you. And even when I’m a little hurt cause you don’t wanna share it with your best friend…” He added a fake sniffle and placed a hand over his chest pretending pain. I chuckled and he smiled again. “…it’s okay. I’m really worried about you and I want you to be alright again.” I stared at the floor again, kicking the dirt. “So, please… even if you don’t wanna tell me, don’t push me away.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was things like this that made me love him so much, what made us friends in the first place. He always knows what to say and what to do, even if he has no idea what’s wrong. I looked up at him and smiled a bit, wrapping my arms on his waist and hugging him close, feeling his tummy shake from his giggling.
“Well, this is a start…” He said caressing my head.
“Oh, shut up. You’re ruining the moment.”
But the moment was ruined anyways when his phone buzzed in his pocket against my arm. I groaned and let go. Ryan gave me a sheepish smile and picked up: it was Brendon. I sighed heavily after he turned away to answer, feeling like the ice cream didn’t like staying in my stomach and was making its way up, I had to grip the chains of the swing to keep my hands from shaking. Jealousy in its worse form. But at least I could act like nothing was wrong when Ryan was back, grinning widely.
“Hey, Brendon called; he says there’s a party tonight. Wanna come?” I looked suspiciously at him, the smirk on his face wasn’t just happiness from talking to Brendon.
“Spill, Ross, what else is it?” I challenged. He just grinned wider.
“I’ll tell you if you promise to come.” Ryan was nearly giving small jumps from excitement.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine, I’ll go. What is it?”
“It’s in Spencer’s house!” He said, literally squealing. I couldn’t help but smile a little.
“You bastard. You set me up!” I said as the grin spread over my face.
Spencer, Ryan and me knew each other when they were kids and grew a little apart from going to different high schools. Now we were reunited and, even when Spencer didn’t spend that much time with us, in the few classes we share, he’s a total sweetheart. So I might have a little crush on him, besides the one I have for Ryan. And according to Brendon, the feeling is mutual.
Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me from the swing, nearly running back to our house, ranting on the way about how pretty I had to look tonight and how much of a hard work that would be, gaining a few slaps and a kick on his ass. When we got home, he pushed me hastily into the shower while he was picking up my clothes. Then it was like being in “Queer eye for the straight girl” when Brendon arrived and I was at their will, getting dressed, make up and hair done.
Never argue with two gay guys about clothes and looks, they will scratch you like rabid cats. I’m serious.
A couple of hours later we were driving to Spencer’s, an uncomfortable feeling growing in my gut that for the first time in weeks had nothing to do with Ryan holding Brendon’s hand in the backseat. Arriving at the place, we instantly mingled between the people, most of them we already knew from class. Brendon detached temporarily from Ryan to go greet his music classmates, so Ryan and I sauntered over the drinks table.
“Hey, guys!” Spencer’s voice chimed behind us. Ryan looked at me with a smirk and then turned to greet his friend. “Glad you could make it.”
I turned and gave him a small smile. “Hey. Yeah, Ryan kind of dragged me here for some reason.”
“I did not!” Ryan said with a giggle.
“I’m glad he did though.” Spencer said clearing his throat and making Ryan choke on his drink. “Well, you already know the house, but if you need anything…”
Then he excused himself and walked backwards to the kitchen. I let out a huff and Ryan elbowed me.
“You know you want to.” He said with a smirk.
“You have no idea of what I want, Ross!” I said defiantly, Ryan just looked back, amusement in is eyes. Then Brendon came back.
I don’t know how long after I was comfortably sitting on the couch, beer that magically appeared from nowhere in one hand and a smoke in the other, having the conversation of a life time with Spencer Smith. Truth is I hadn’t felt that comfortable with someone in quite a while, especially since I started having feelings for Ryan and everything between us changed even if he didn’t know. But at the same time, it was different. Cause it wasn’t that best friends feeling, it was something else. Once in a while my eyes would roam the house looking for Ryan, just to check what was he doing, making sure he was there, but then I totally forgot about it… about him.
I looked at Spencer again, at the way he smiled, his shiny blue eyes, at the shy way he tickled the back of my hand or got me snacks. I liked him and he seemed interested enough. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell Ryan anything after all and Spencer would be my way out of this mess. He surely was a cute, sweet and nice way out…
Ryan and I were sitting on a bench in the park across the street from home, having ice cream cones. We were still laughing at the movie we just saw and I couldn’t help but stare a little when he smiled, averting my eyes away the second he looked back. I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact just yet. The whole situation was just stupid, why couldn’t I just go back to see him as my friend? My brother even.
“Hey, come on…” Ryan said after we finished the cones and took my hand, pulling me up.
“What?” I giggled as he leaded me to the swings. “You can’t be serious…”
“Aww, it will be fun. Just like when we were little.” He said with a smile as I sat down on the board and looked at him.
“It was fun until you told me to jump and I landed on my head.” We both started laughing at the memory.
“Well, it wasn’t my fault you actually believed me that you’d fly that way.” The giggles faded as I stared at my feet, pushing me back and forth. Ryan sighed and placed his hands on my shoulders. “Sunny…” He started.
“Ryan, just…” I was about to stop him, but he shook his head and I stopped.
“Listen. I know something is wrong with you. And even when I’m a little hurt cause you don’t wanna share it with your best friend…” He added a fake sniffle and placed a hand over his chest pretending pain. I chuckled and he smiled again. “…it’s okay. I’m really worried about you and I want you to be alright again.” I stared at the floor again, kicking the dirt. “So, please… even if you don’t wanna tell me, don’t push me away.”
I didn’t know what to say. It was things like this that made me love him so much, what made us friends in the first place. He always knows what to say and what to do, even if he has no idea what’s wrong. I looked up at him and smiled a bit, wrapping my arms on his waist and hugging him close, feeling his tummy shake from his giggling.
“Well, this is a start…” He said caressing my head.
“Oh, shut up. You’re ruining the moment.”
But the moment was ruined anyways when his phone buzzed in his pocket against my arm. I groaned and let go. Ryan gave me a sheepish smile and picked up: it was Brendon. I sighed heavily after he turned away to answer, feeling like the ice cream didn’t like staying in my stomach and was making its way up, I had to grip the chains of the swing to keep my hands from shaking. Jealousy in its worse form. But at least I could act like nothing was wrong when Ryan was back, grinning widely.
“Hey, Brendon called; he says there’s a party tonight. Wanna come?” I looked suspiciously at him, the smirk on his face wasn’t just happiness from talking to Brendon.
“Spill, Ross, what else is it?” I challenged. He just grinned wider.
“I’ll tell you if you promise to come.” Ryan was nearly giving small jumps from excitement.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine, I’ll go. What is it?”
“It’s in Spencer’s house!” He said, literally squealing. I couldn’t help but smile a little.
“You bastard. You set me up!” I said as the grin spread over my face.
Spencer, Ryan and me knew each other when they were kids and grew a little apart from going to different high schools. Now we were reunited and, even when Spencer didn’t spend that much time with us, in the few classes we share, he’s a total sweetheart. So I might have a little crush on him, besides the one I have for Ryan. And according to Brendon, the feeling is mutual.
Ryan grabbed my hand and pulled me from the swing, nearly running back to our house, ranting on the way about how pretty I had to look tonight and how much of a hard work that would be, gaining a few slaps and a kick on his ass. When we got home, he pushed me hastily into the shower while he was picking up my clothes. Then it was like being in “Queer eye for the straight girl” when Brendon arrived and I was at their will, getting dressed, make up and hair done.
Never argue with two gay guys about clothes and looks, they will scratch you like rabid cats. I’m serious.
A couple of hours later we were driving to Spencer’s, an uncomfortable feeling growing in my gut that for the first time in weeks had nothing to do with Ryan holding Brendon’s hand in the backseat. Arriving at the place, we instantly mingled between the people, most of them we already knew from class. Brendon detached temporarily from Ryan to go greet his music classmates, so Ryan and I sauntered over the drinks table.
“Hey, guys!” Spencer’s voice chimed behind us. Ryan looked at me with a smirk and then turned to greet his friend. “Glad you could make it.”
I turned and gave him a small smile. “Hey. Yeah, Ryan kind of dragged me here for some reason.”
“I did not!” Ryan said with a giggle.
“I’m glad he did though.” Spencer said clearing his throat and making Ryan choke on his drink. “Well, you already know the house, but if you need anything…”
Then he excused himself and walked backwards to the kitchen. I let out a huff and Ryan elbowed me.
“You know you want to.” He said with a smirk.
“You have no idea of what I want, Ross!” I said defiantly, Ryan just looked back, amusement in is eyes. Then Brendon came back.
I don’t know how long after I was comfortably sitting on the couch, beer that magically appeared from nowhere in one hand and a smoke in the other, having the conversation of a life time with Spencer Smith. Truth is I hadn’t felt that comfortable with someone in quite a while, especially since I started having feelings for Ryan and everything between us changed even if he didn’t know. But at the same time, it was different. Cause it wasn’t that best friends feeling, it was something else. Once in a while my eyes would roam the house looking for Ryan, just to check what was he doing, making sure he was there, but then I totally forgot about it… about him.
I looked at Spencer again, at the way he smiled, his shiny blue eyes, at the shy way he tickled the back of my hand or got me snacks. I liked him and he seemed interested enough. Maybe I wouldn’t have to tell Ryan anything after all and Spencer would be my way out of this mess. He surely was a cute, sweet and nice way out…
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