FicWad

I couldn't help but to shrug and pull my top over my head, blushing as my naked chest was revealed in the pale lighting. I could hear Gee shifting and rustling in the sheets, either trying to make room for me or try to hide his utter discomfort. I cross my arms and stare down at him, and the small space he'd made so I could lay beside him, "You don't have to do this you know."

Gee shakes his head defiantly, lifting the comforter a little, "I want you to sleep with me. Not everything we do has to be sexual."

A small smirk tugs at my lips, "Well, I sleep naked. So live with it."

He looks up at me, a tiny grin dancing on his face. He starts patting the mattress in a weird rhythm, trying to coax me into the sheets. I just stand there, swinging my hips slightly to the beat. Frustrated and tired, a long groan pushes out of his throat, "Beeeeeeeeert, get in bed."

I giggle and crash beside him, the bed croaking loudly in protest and the headboard slapping against the plaster wall. I flip off the lamp beside the bed, sighing with content as he snuggles into my chest, "I picked a name."

"Hmm?" I grunt, closing my eyes.

He shifts and wraps his ankles around mine, "Houdini... cuz he magically appeared."

My eyes flicker open and I gaze down at him, his lids closed and his little pink tongue brushing over his lips as he mumbles. My sight then flickers to a shoebox on his desk; it's sitting under a heat lap and has been filled with tea towels. Gee lets out a tiny whimper of a yawn, before his breathing settles and I know he's slipped into sleep. I lean over and kiss his cheek lightly, allowing myself to drift away. How I missed sleep.


I'm woken up by a loud crash coming from the kitchen. I stretch out in the bed, a bit dazed by the lack of familiarity. I never remember my bed being this huge.

Shit! I forgot I fell asleep with Gee last night. And now I'm sprawled across an empty bed and there's crashing and yelling coming from the kitchen. I hop out of bed hurriedly and pull on my jeans discarded on the floor. I nearly fall over myself bolting down the stairs and sliding into the kitchen. Gee is standing in front of the toaster, hands slapped down on the counter top and a look of annoyance on his face. He's dressed only in a pair of green cotton boxers, his swollen belly hanging over the elastic of the shorts.

"Goddammit," he mutters, smacking the white metal with the back of his hand and glaring at the appliance.

I cock my eyebrow in confusion and walk towards him, trying not to laugh or make much sound at all. He grabs the nearby bag of bread, furiously fishing out a few slices of wheat and forcing them down into the slots. Then, with a snort of exasperation, he slams down the lever and turns the timer. Before long, thick plumes of smoke start pouring from the slots and Gee looks about ready to yank the toaster from the wall and tossing it the window. "I just want a piece of fucking toast..." he grumbles, slumping over on the counter.

I clear my throat and he looks up at me, eyes wide and glazed with sleep, "Bert? How long have you been here?"

I scratch my chest and let out a low yawn, "I dunno... long enough to see you ruin breakfast."

He lets out an angry, broken laugh, "Your toaster hates me."

I roll my eyes and walk towards him, my hands folding over my stomach. I inspect the equipment closely, before chuckling and lifting it up, "You had it turned to high. Anything you cooked would've become barbecue."

I nimbly turned the dial and set it back down on the dirty counter, smiling up at him, "Try it now."

Gee's gaze flicks from me to the toaster, before he grabs a another slice of bread and shoves it down, reaching into the adjacent fridge and drawing out the tub of cream cheese and a small jar of some kind of jam. Disgusting. I could never do the weird cravings thing. Nothing like a chocolate sundae with relish and Lucky Charms. Every other day he's begging Geoff to concoct something for him to satisfy his raging hormone surges. Yesterday he had chicken with oranges and mashed avocados. It looked like someone threw up on a plate and sprinkled cheese on top. I about blew chunks just watching him cook the damn thing. Not to mention the house still smells like old lady feet.

The loud snap of the toaster pulls me from my internal rant, and I look up in a daze to see Gee smearing liberal amounts of cream cheese onto his toast, before dumping half a jar of what looks like purple gunk on top of it. He has this euphoric, shit-eating grin on his face before he takes a loud chomp, his eyes rolling back with satisfaction as the strange food lingers on his taste buds. After about 20 minutes of me leaning against the counter, watching him shovel half a loaf of bread into his mouth, he belches loudly and looks up at me, smiling, "Want any?"

I feel my stomach warp and try to escape through my esophagus, and I shake my head furiously, trying desperately to suppress my nausea. He shrugs and saunters out of the kitchen, swaying his hips to some unknown tune in his head. He walks briskly up the stairs and into the bathroom, bursting out into song as soon as the door is closed. It's nice to see him in a good mood for once, even if he is being a complete psycho about it. I sigh softly and sit down at the table, rustling through yesterday's paper, trying to find something to pass the time before hunger kicks in and I gather the energy and will to brew a pot of coffee. Time passes slowly in the silence of the kitchen, occasionally being broken by Gee's soulful croons. He has such a pretty voice.

Before I know it, a wave of wild, passionate images fill my head. Gee, wet and naked and splayed across the bathroom floor, toes curled and back arched. Him wrapped around my waist, his hot mouth assaulting my neck while his hands explored uncharted territory. It was fast and violent, colors and images splashed together in blurs and patches. Glitter strewn across the canvas as more sexual tension is released in the form of mental images.

"Oo-oh..." I hear myself moan, my body stooped over the counter and my hand shoved down my pants.

"Jesus, Bert. I love you but goddamn."

I look up, feeling all the heat and color flush out of my body, along with the sounds of Gee's orgasmic screaming echoing through my head. Geoff is standing in front of me, rubbing his head and trying to keep the smirk from his face. I withdraw my hand slowly, wiping the sweat from my cheeks with my free palm. He just shakes his head and sits down at the table across from me, lacing his fingers together and tucking them neatly between his chin. "So... did you sleep well?"

I flip him the bird and snap the paper open, concealing my face from his prying eyes. I hear Gee stumble out of the bathroom and into his lair, still singing nonsense about guns and deserts and bouquets. "I'm going upstairs." I mumble, setting the paper down and scrambling up from the table, trying to retain my dignity.

I rush up the steps and knock quietly on Gee's door, biting my lip as I wait. Geoff is giggling and making lewd jokes from the kitchen, and part of me just wants to punch him in the face. Gee pulls open the door hurriedly, all the while struggling to zip up his pants. He's still in denial about gaining weight, even thought none of his pants fit and his shirts make him looking gorged and awkward. I go inside and sit down on the bed, looking up at him, "Feeling better?"

He nods happily and goes over to his desk, reaching his hands into the almost forgotten shoebox and scooping up his new pet, stroking it's head with his index finger, "Houdini is too. He even ate a bit of fruit."

A small grin lays on my face as Gee opens his hands and holds his arms towards me, a little spiky brown ball emerging from his palms. It sniffs around a little before blinking and curling back up. Gee giggles happily and sets him back into his temporary home, tucking him under a beige towel. Suddenly, he lets out a loud gasp and clasps his hand to his stomach. I bolt up from the matress and rush over to him, taking a hold of his wrist and lowering him into the office chair, "Gee! What's wrong?"

His breaths come out in little ragged gasps, before turning into faint peals of laughter, "Bert... I just felt it move..."