Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Secrets We Keep...
~ Holly’s P.O.V. ~
I told Evie I was pregnant, and her eyes grew wide in shock, making me feel worse than I already was.
“What?! How?! Who?!” Evie sputtered.
“I’m pregnant. I think you know how. And I’m not sure.” I whispered, clutching my books tight to me and looking down at my shoes.
“But I though you and Bill were going out.” Evie said confused as we began walking to school. She always walked me to school before heading to work. I never knew what she did; she’d always change the subject when I asked.
“We are.” I said. “But I went to a party a few weeks ago, and got completely hammered. I think I slept with Jon Walker.” She stopped me and I looked at her.
“Oh gosh!” Evie said. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I told her. “I made love with Bill that morning, and then I think I slept with Jon, but I can’t get an abortion. It’s just not right for me. I have to tell them. I’ve been so stressed about all this, I didn’t get any of my school work done.”
“Well, Bill should be at the music store by now, you wanna go tell him?”
“No!” I shouted. “Sorry, I don’t want to tell him yet. Either of them. But we can go there.”
“Kay, let’s go.” We left the path to school and went to the music shop Bill worked out. He had gone to school with Evie and that’s how I knew him. We started dating a week after we met my freshman year, his sophomore, and had been steady ever since. He was the only other person I trusted with my life, besides Evie, although Evie can be really overprotective of me. I’m surprised she didn’t freak out worse. Then again, she might wait until I’m not too stressed to flip on me.
We went in the store and Bill came from the back room after hearing the bell on the door ring. He smiled at us and come over to me.
“Hey baby.” He leaned down and kissed me and I melted. He pulled away and smiled and turned to Evie. “Hey Evie.”
“Hey Bill.” She smiled at him and went to pick up one of the guitars as Bill led me behind the counter.
“So, are you here to see me before school, or are you skipping again?” He asked with a sly smile. I couldn’t help but smile back and get weak in the knees for him. I hopped up to my tippy toes and gave him a small kiss on the lips. He is soooo tall!
“Skipping. I didn’t do any of my work, and I’m not feeling in a school mood.” I answered, for the most part honestly. He got a concerned look on his face.
“Are you sick sweetie?” He asked, pushing my side bangs back and kissing my forehead. “You’re a little warm.” I glanced over at Evie, who looked up at me and nodded. I knew I had to tell Bill, but I couldn’t just yet. I shook my head, both at her and Bill, and he hugged me tight to him. Evie gave me a tiny glare, but went back to plucking gently at the guitar. I took a deep breath, knowing that this would be the last time I’d be able to breathe in his cologne. I pulled back and took his hands and led him into the back room solemnly. He studied me after I sat him down on a crate and paced in front of him.
“Bill, you’re going to hate me after I tell you this.” I started, taking deep breaths.
“Holly, I could never hate you baby.” He said softly, pulling me on his lap gently and looking into my eyes.
“Never say never.” I muttered under my breath. “Bill, I’m pregnant.” Bill’s face went blank. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and couldn’t hold them back. I felt his arms hold me tighter as I cried and kiss my cheek.
“I’m with you all the way on this Holly.” He told me looking at me with determination. “We’ll raise this child, and we’ll even get married if we have to, but I won’t let you and our baby go unloved by a father.” It broke my heart to hear those words, and the possibility that it couldn’t be his baby. I couldn’t tell him that Jon might be the father. I just pressed his lips to mine and kissed him for a long time. I pulled away and wiped my eyeliner and mascara stained cheeks with the navy sleeve of my uniform.
“My mom’s gonna kick me out when she finds out.” I whispered, fussing with the seam on my sleeve. William smiled gently and took my hands in his and held them to his heart.
“You can live with me. I have my own apartment, it’s a bit small, but it’s suitable to raise a small family. And you graduate in like, what, three weeks? You can get a job once the baby is a few months old. My income is just enough to have the both of us, so you’ll need to get one. You’ll be able to move in with me, and your mom can’t say anything.”
“But she can still disown me.” I muttered.
“Well, if that happens, you can always come to my mom. She loves you.” He smiled and I smiled a bit too. His mom treated me better than she treats him.
“Yeah, I guess that’d work.” I laughed a bit, which made Bill smile more.
“Okay, let’s go back out front. Evie’s all alone, and she probably thinks we’re having sex.” I rolled my eyes and I got up from his lap, straightened my skirt and ran my hands through my hair. I wish I would’ve washed it better this morning. It feels greasy and gross. Then again, I didn’t really wash it; I just stood under the water and let it run until it was cold. We went back out front hand-in-hand. Evie had moved to a piano now and I stood behind the counter with Bill.
“I’m guessing by how quiet she’s being, Evie already knows?” Bill asked me, as I hugged him.
“She’s the one who made me come here.” I looked up at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to tell you.” He smiled and brushed my bangs away from my eyes.
“It’s perfectly alright sweetie. I understand. Usually guys will jump and run, but Holly, I love you so much. This is our baby, and we’re going to be great parents.” He smiled and kissed me. We parted when someone cleared their throat behind us and I blushed and went to the guitar section and sat down. I studied the guy who came in. He was definitely cute. Black hair, big, brown doe eyes, and a really good smile. He greeted Bill like an old friend, and I watched as they talked a bit. I glanced over at Evie, who was looking at him too. Bill gestured to her and I saw her smiled shyly and turn quickly back to the piano and start playing again. I smiled and a plan concocted in my mind. Bill gestured to me and said my name and I stood up and walked over to them.
“Hi!” I said, bringing the brightness I lost this morning, back, now that Bill had made everything a bit better. “You are?”
“Brendon. Brendon Urie.” He smiled and shook my hand. “Nice outfit.”
“My school has uniform.” I shrugged off that comment. I got that a lot, I lived in a public school area, but went to private school. I got lots of attention from the public school boys, but the only one I cared about was William. “Do you and Bill know one another?” I asked politely.
“We graduated together.” Bill smiled at me. “He’s in a band, and needs some new equipment.”
“Really?” I asked as Evie saddled up next to me. “What are you guys called?”
“Panic! At the Disco, with an exclamation point.” Brendon laughed and Evie giggled shyly. He glanced at her and smiled. “Actually, you might know the others in the band, they go to the same school you do.”
“Really? Who?”
“Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, oh! And Jon Walker!” My blood ran cold when I heard that name, and I just stood there, frozen. I felt Bill shake my shoulder, but I couldn’t look at him, I knew the color was drained from my face and I think I almost passed out.
I told Evie I was pregnant, and her eyes grew wide in shock, making me feel worse than I already was.
“What?! How?! Who?!” Evie sputtered.
“I’m pregnant. I think you know how. And I’m not sure.” I whispered, clutching my books tight to me and looking down at my shoes.
“But I though you and Bill were going out.” Evie said confused as we began walking to school. She always walked me to school before heading to work. I never knew what she did; she’d always change the subject when I asked.
“We are.” I said. “But I went to a party a few weeks ago, and got completely hammered. I think I slept with Jon Walker.” She stopped me and I looked at her.
“Oh gosh!” Evie said. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know.” I told her. “I made love with Bill that morning, and then I think I slept with Jon, but I can’t get an abortion. It’s just not right for me. I have to tell them. I’ve been so stressed about all this, I didn’t get any of my school work done.”
“Well, Bill should be at the music store by now, you wanna go tell him?”
“No!” I shouted. “Sorry, I don’t want to tell him yet. Either of them. But we can go there.”
“Kay, let’s go.” We left the path to school and went to the music shop Bill worked out. He had gone to school with Evie and that’s how I knew him. We started dating a week after we met my freshman year, his sophomore, and had been steady ever since. He was the only other person I trusted with my life, besides Evie, although Evie can be really overprotective of me. I’m surprised she didn’t freak out worse. Then again, she might wait until I’m not too stressed to flip on me.
We went in the store and Bill came from the back room after hearing the bell on the door ring. He smiled at us and come over to me.
“Hey baby.” He leaned down and kissed me and I melted. He pulled away and smiled and turned to Evie. “Hey Evie.”
“Hey Bill.” She smiled at him and went to pick up one of the guitars as Bill led me behind the counter.
“So, are you here to see me before school, or are you skipping again?” He asked with a sly smile. I couldn’t help but smile back and get weak in the knees for him. I hopped up to my tippy toes and gave him a small kiss on the lips. He is soooo tall!
“Skipping. I didn’t do any of my work, and I’m not feeling in a school mood.” I answered, for the most part honestly. He got a concerned look on his face.
“Are you sick sweetie?” He asked, pushing my side bangs back and kissing my forehead. “You’re a little warm.” I glanced over at Evie, who looked up at me and nodded. I knew I had to tell Bill, but I couldn’t just yet. I shook my head, both at her and Bill, and he hugged me tight to him. Evie gave me a tiny glare, but went back to plucking gently at the guitar. I took a deep breath, knowing that this would be the last time I’d be able to breathe in his cologne. I pulled back and took his hands and led him into the back room solemnly. He studied me after I sat him down on a crate and paced in front of him.
“Bill, you’re going to hate me after I tell you this.” I started, taking deep breaths.
“Holly, I could never hate you baby.” He said softly, pulling me on his lap gently and looking into my eyes.
“Never say never.” I muttered under my breath. “Bill, I’m pregnant.” Bill’s face went blank. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and couldn’t hold them back. I felt his arms hold me tighter as I cried and kiss my cheek.
“I’m with you all the way on this Holly.” He told me looking at me with determination. “We’ll raise this child, and we’ll even get married if we have to, but I won’t let you and our baby go unloved by a father.” It broke my heart to hear those words, and the possibility that it couldn’t be his baby. I couldn’t tell him that Jon might be the father. I just pressed his lips to mine and kissed him for a long time. I pulled away and wiped my eyeliner and mascara stained cheeks with the navy sleeve of my uniform.
“My mom’s gonna kick me out when she finds out.” I whispered, fussing with the seam on my sleeve. William smiled gently and took my hands in his and held them to his heart.
“You can live with me. I have my own apartment, it’s a bit small, but it’s suitable to raise a small family. And you graduate in like, what, three weeks? You can get a job once the baby is a few months old. My income is just enough to have the both of us, so you’ll need to get one. You’ll be able to move in with me, and your mom can’t say anything.”
“But she can still disown me.” I muttered.
“Well, if that happens, you can always come to my mom. She loves you.” He smiled and I smiled a bit too. His mom treated me better than she treats him.
“Yeah, I guess that’d work.” I laughed a bit, which made Bill smile more.
“Okay, let’s go back out front. Evie’s all alone, and she probably thinks we’re having sex.” I rolled my eyes and I got up from his lap, straightened my skirt and ran my hands through my hair. I wish I would’ve washed it better this morning. It feels greasy and gross. Then again, I didn’t really wash it; I just stood under the water and let it run until it was cold. We went back out front hand-in-hand. Evie had moved to a piano now and I stood behind the counter with Bill.
“I’m guessing by how quiet she’s being, Evie already knows?” Bill asked me, as I hugged him.
“She’s the one who made me come here.” I looked up at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t want to tell you.” He smiled and brushed my bangs away from my eyes.
“It’s perfectly alright sweetie. I understand. Usually guys will jump and run, but Holly, I love you so much. This is our baby, and we’re going to be great parents.” He smiled and kissed me. We parted when someone cleared their throat behind us and I blushed and went to the guitar section and sat down. I studied the guy who came in. He was definitely cute. Black hair, big, brown doe eyes, and a really good smile. He greeted Bill like an old friend, and I watched as they talked a bit. I glanced over at Evie, who was looking at him too. Bill gestured to her and I saw her smiled shyly and turn quickly back to the piano and start playing again. I smiled and a plan concocted in my mind. Bill gestured to me and said my name and I stood up and walked over to them.
“Hi!” I said, bringing the brightness I lost this morning, back, now that Bill had made everything a bit better. “You are?”
“Brendon. Brendon Urie.” He smiled and shook my hand. “Nice outfit.”
“My school has uniform.” I shrugged off that comment. I got that a lot, I lived in a public school area, but went to private school. I got lots of attention from the public school boys, but the only one I cared about was William. “Do you and Bill know one another?” I asked politely.
“We graduated together.” Bill smiled at me. “He’s in a band, and needs some new equipment.”
“Really?” I asked as Evie saddled up next to me. “What are you guys called?”
“Panic! At the Disco, with an exclamation point.” Brendon laughed and Evie giggled shyly. He glanced at her and smiled. “Actually, you might know the others in the band, they go to the same school you do.”
“Really? Who?”
“Ryan Ross, Spencer Smith, oh! And Jon Walker!” My blood ran cold when I heard that name, and I just stood there, frozen. I felt Bill shake my shoulder, but I couldn’t look at him, I knew the color was drained from my face and I think I almost passed out.
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