FicWad

Midora strolled purposefully through the series of rib-like arches, until she finally found Armonia Justin. As usual, Justin was languishing in his chair, absentmindedly puffing on a cigarette. Midora wondered just how he kept getting a hold of those, seeing as how no one had seen Justin actually get up and move for about three hundred years. Whatever-she had a more important question.
“Hey, Armonia Justin,” she said. “I wanna go down to the human world for some bananas. How long am I allowed to stay down there if I don’t give a human a death note?”
“82 hours, so long as you kill a human before you return. Otherwise, you’ll…what the?” Justin said as a large group of shinigami appeared over the horizon, yelling his name. They hurtled downward and hit the ground running; Ryuk, Deridovely, Gukku, Zellogi, and…
“JUSTIN! HELP!” Sidoh yelped right in Justin’s face. Justin leaned as far back in his chair as possible, very surprised and more than slightly alarmed.
“Uh…what do you want?”
All five shinigami started yelling at once, and Justin looked even more alarmed. This was not how shinigami usually asked him for something.
“Everybody, shut up!” he shouted, and they obeyed. He looked at Sidoh-not difficult, seeing as how Sidoh was looming over him, only inches away. “Do you mind?” he asked. Sidoh took a few timid steps back. Midora chuckled at the spectacle in front of her…the five shinigami were acting like a bunch of frightened human children.
“Much better. Okay…uh, you,” said Justin, pointing at Ryuk. “What is it?”
“We’re all in big trouble, Justin! You see, we went inside the king’s tower…”
“You’re right. You are in big trouble. Extreme level. Sorry.”
“No, you don’t understand! You’re in big trouble, too! We’re all in big trouble! When we went in the tower…” Ryuk told Justin the whole story, beginning to end, including everything that Rem had told them, with the others chiming in occasionally when he forgot something.
“So, what do you think, Justin? What should we do?” Ryuk asked.
Justin gave him a long, bored, critical look. “You want to know what I think?” he said. “I think if you’re bored enough to come up with stories like that, you should go bother someone else with them.”
“But it’s true! He’s going to kill everyone! You have to think of something, quick! I did tell you you’re first on his hit list, right?”
“Yes, Ryuk, you did. It would be very scary, if I were dumb enough to believe you. You can leave now.”
Ryuk didn’t budge. “Justin, I am not kidding. Not even a little bit. You have to believe me, or we’re all screwed.”
“Nice try, but I’m not falling for it, Ryuk.”
Ryuk looked at the other four, who all shrugged at him. Dammit…why did Justin have to be so difficult!? But then again… now that he thought about it, Ryuk supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that Justin wasn’t buying their warning about the King. Hell, he wouldn’t have believed it himself, if he hadn’t seen Rem with his own eyes…of course! Rem!
“I have proof, Justin. Let’s make a deal. You’ll help us out…if I bring you Rem. Alive.”
Justin laughed. “Bring me a long-dead shinigami, eh? Sure. If you can magically restore her to life with that overactive imagination of yours, I’ll listen to anything you have to say.”
“Be right back,” said Ryuk, and the troop of five were on their way, arguing amongst themselves. Justin muttered something about time-wasters as Midora stalked off as well.
“Where they come up with this crap, I don’t know…my father, Xithl Beyondormason, huh?” Justin scoffed.
“…you had a brother, too. His name was Armonia Fedor…” a voice, soft as a breeze, drifted out of the landscape. Carefully, Justin turned his head in the direction the voice had come from. He stared intently at a tall rock that hadn’t been there before. It opened one eye and blinked at him.
“What are you talking about, Nu?” Justin asked warily.
The eye disappeared, and the rock said nothing more.
“Armonia Fedor,” Justin mentally repeated, wondering why it sounded so familiar…to his shock, out of the deepest recesses of his memory, the face of a black, skeletal shinigami sprang unbidden before his eyes. Suddenly, Justin felt uneasy.

Midora flew near the ground and down the hill covered in viciously thorny creepers, until she came to the area filled with jagged rocks arranged in spine-like tunnels and caves. As usual, Daril Ghiroza was stacking skulls with Vechello while Thruk watched and Calikarcha sat off to the side, albeit looking much more nervous than usual.
“Hey, Midora,” Thruk called from the top of the cave.
“Hey, guys. Do you wanna hear what Ryuk just told Justin? It’s some pretty messed-up stuff, and he swears it’s all true…”
“Sure. What’s he going on about?” asked Vechello.

A while later, when they got to the rock and pushed it aside, Rem was still down in the hole, and still looking very bad indeed, although she was up on her feet and looked ready to fight.
“Rem…”
“Oh…it’s only you,” she said as she sat back down. “I couldn’t be sure who was moving the rock…”
“All right, Rem, the bad news is that Justin doesn’t buy our story, and we’re gonna have to bring you to him before he will. The good news is I think I found you a shenzu nut, so maybe getting you there will be a bit easier. Am I right? Is this one of them?”
Ryuk tossed something into the pit, and Rem felt around until she grabbed a hold of it. Its knobbly texture was familiar…her talons found the seam in the pod, and it cracked open.
“Yes. Thank you,” she said before she eagerly began eating the seeds.
“So, we need to think of a way of getting you to Justin’s, before the…”
Ryuk paused as the words “old man” stuck in his throat. Knowing what the King had done, what he was truly capable of…he just couldn’t call him “the Old Man” anymore. That wise, kind being that had raised them with such care and concern, the being that every shinigami in the realm would have done anything for, was dead…no; he had never even existed in the first place. The Old Man had been nothing but an illusion, a façade concocted by the King to hide his true nature and win their undeserved respect, loyalty, and adoration...
“...before the King can find you. Have any ideas?”
Rem swallowed the last bite of shenzu nut before answering. “I was thinking about that, after you left…I realized there was a strong possibility that Justin wouldn’t believe you without proof. You won’t be able to convince him to get up and come here, so yes, you will have to take me to him, and the best strategy is to simply make a break for it as soon as I can move quickly. Get there and get there fast, spending as little time out in the open as possible.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to disguise her or something first?” Zellogi asked.
Rem shook her head solemnly. “I already thought about that. If a bunch of shinigami who usually sit and do nothing for centuries are seen carrying a large object around, it will attract unwanted attention, and I can’t even think of anything they’d possibly want to carry, or why they’d be doing so in the first place. The only thing to do is to go soon, go quickly, and hope for the best.”
“Oh, great freakin’ idea! Let’s parade Rem around the shinigami realm! There’s no way the old geezer’s gonna notice that!” Zellogi grumbled.
“Unless you have a better idea, Zellogi, shut up,” said Ryuk. “I don’t see you trying to…stop poking me, Sidoh! What’s the matter…Oh. Crap.”
Another shinigami had appeared far off on the horizon, and he was walking straight towards them…a large, blue shinigami, with bull-like horns and vivid red eyes. Ryuk and Gukku shoved the rock back over the hole, and Zellogi clapped a pre-emptive hand over Sidoh’s mouth.
“Do not scream, Sidoh. Just keep your mouth shut, and let Ryuk do all the talking.”
Ryuk gave Zellogi a resentful glare, but it was too late to say anything; the King was already within earshot.
“Hey, Ryuk, you got a minute?” he called.
Ryuk shrugged indifferently. “Maybe. Do I know you?”
“I don’t think so. Name’s Moloch.”
Moloch…Ryuk could’ve sworn he’d…
“Heard that name before? Yeah, I created a bit of a stir in the human world a while back…kind of like you, Ryuk. Anyhow, I’m looking for a female shinigami named Rem. White, bony, purple markings….you guys seen her?” he said, looking straight at each shinigami in turn. To his own horror, Sidoh started trembling.
“…where have you been, Moloch?” Ryuk said as he sat nonchalantly on the rock. “Rem’s been dead for nine years. She’s nothing but a pile of sand, down in the human world.” The tone and inflection of Ryuk’s voice was perfect. The other four shinigami had never been so glad that Ryuk was a terrific liar.
The King looked at him as though studying his response. Ryuk looked straight back, perfectly poker-faced.
“…that’s too bad,” said the King, turning to stare at Sidoh. “So, what’s wrong with him?” he asked.
“Stop shaking, stop shaking, he’ll know….” Sidoh thought desperately, but to no avail.
Ryuk was in his element. Lying was his game, and somehow, it always put him in the zone when getting caught lying was dangerous.
“Sidoh? The dumbass ate chocolate while he was down in the human world and got himself addicted. You might wanna get going…his withdrawal symptoms are already starting, and they’re annoying as hell. Once the shaking starts, it’s only a matter of time before he starts yodelling.”
The King looked very amused. “Thanks for the heads up,” he chuckled. With that, he continued off into the distance. Once he was out of earshot, Sidoh breathed a sigh of relief, but Ryuk dropped his bored smirk and finally looked worried.
“Oh, man! If the King’s out of the tower already…” said Ryuk.
“Does that mean it’s safe to speak again?” a muffled voice called from beneath the rock, which Ryuk pushed aside.
“Just your luck, eh, Rem? Now what?” he asked.
Rem shrugged. “This doesn’t change anything. It simply confirms our suspicions that the King is looking for me, and emphasizes the fact that I’ll need to move through the open quickly.”
“Speaking of which…Rem, if we got that wing plate off you, do you think you could fly?” Ryuk asked tentatively.
“Yes. I’m already starting to feel my strength return, due to that shenzu nut you found. I won’t heal completely for a while, but I should be able to move effectively on my own in about five days.”
“So…how are you supposed to take it off?”
Rem sighed resignedly. “There’s nothing for it…I don’t think it’s designed to just be “taken off”. You’re going to have to rip it out.”
“Are you serious? Won’t that hurt?” Sidoh asked in disbelief.
“I’m used to pain. One more instance of it won’t be the end of me.”
There was a long pause. “Any volunteers?” Ryuk said, half-jokingly. Every other shinigami stared directly at him, expectantly. “Geez, you guys are making me do everything today,” he grimaced as he hopped into the pit with Rem.
“…Your idea, Ryuk,” said Zellogi.
“Shut up, Zellogi.” Ryuk studied the wing plate on Rem’s back…it was held on by four screws, one in each corner. He thought he’d be able to rip it off by himself in one go…hopefully. He took hold of the sides of the plate and got a firm, strong grip.
“Ready. Are you sure about this?”
“Yes…I told you, I’m used to pain. Just get it over with,” said Rem.
Ryuk hadn’t known that Rem had that much guts…maybe describing her as “spongy” all these years hadn’t been totally fair. Ryuk resolved to think up a better adjective as he gave the plate a firm, hard yank.