FicWad

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't own the basic plot and quotes you recognise from Californication.

WARNINGS: This story is based on the television series "Californication", if you didn't like it or were offended by it, please do not read. I have changed a lot of the plot to suit my own wicked ways but it still includes a lot of swearing, alcohol and drug use, sex in every shape and form and some volgarity. Please do not read if this offends.



Chapter Five - One big pile of fucking crazy.

As far as Frank could remember, Max had been the first guy he'd actually slept with since Gerard.

Sure, he'd sucked off a few guys, mainly only to be sucked off in return, but, unless he was seriously so drunk one night that he still couldn't remember, Max was definitely the first since Gerard.

That was probably why he was so warn out. He had forgotten that some guys could have a lot more energy when it came to sex then most women did. That was also probably why, despite the cold, uncaring demeanor he carried with him lately, he was growing slightly attached to the singer. Even if, of course, he was never going to admit that out loud.

"Where are you going?" Frank asked in-between a yawn as he rolled over only to find Max wasn't lying next to him anymore. When he sat up to look for him, he saw him pulling on his t-shirt, thus making himself fully clothed.

"I've got to go to work Frank," Max said, rubbing the back of his head looking slightly nervous about something.

"Fuck work, you're in a band aren't you? You're the lead singer, just turn up late, they can warm up without you," Frank complained, yawning again as he let his head fall back onto his pillow.

"Our band isn't that good Frank. It's only my second job ... I'm also a lawyer."

Frank sat up again. A fucking lawyer? He didn't see that one coming; Max didn't look like he was old enough to be a lawyer.

"You're kidding right?" Max shook his head, no. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were smart. Man, I would have tried harder to impress you with my words."

The serious look on Max’s face broke for a minute, only to let one of his perfect smiles shine through. But it was gone again in a matter of seconds as Max sighed heavily and sat back down onto the edge of Frank's bed.

"This was good Frank, god was it fucking good. But, let’s face it, you're not into me. Let's keep this as what it is, a one night stand, that way I don't get hurt later on when you come to the realisation that I'm not quite your type...”

Max stared straight on at Frank as he spoke, his blue eyes catching some of the light spilling into the room making Frank stare back with just as much intensity. One night and this guy already knew him to well. Still, he hadn't forgotten his promise at the bar. He was going to fucking try this time.

"Well it's a shame you think that way, I was actually thinking we could do this again tonight." Frank sighed, shrugging his shoulders and falling back onto his pillow as though hoping Max felt like he was missing out on something now.

"It sounds good in theory Frank, but you wore me out last night, I don't think I could let you fuck me again tonight."

Frank didn't look at Max this time, only because, in his head, a million thoughts were racing around. Every logical thought told him to open his fucking mouth and try to be a boyfriend again, try to have a grown up relationship that actually worked. But, then there was also those other nagging thoughts that told him if he did this, he was giving up on everything he had fought for over the past year. And that was Gerard and getting him back again. He wasn't sure if he was ready to give up Gerard just yet.

"I'll see ya round Frank," Max announced at Frank's silence, tying up his shoes and finally getting up from the bed.

"Wait a second. How about I take you out tonight then? No sex, just a real date." Frank swallowed hard, not even really believing those words had just left his mouth.

There was a grin struggling to surface on Max's face, but he fought it for a little while until he seemed to realise that Frank was being quite sincere.

"You're serious?"

The excitement in the blonde's voice let Frank know that he had already won. This guy was totally into him.

"Yeah I'm serious. Come around when you've finished work. I'll do it properly this time, I swear it. Now go kick some other lawyer’s ass or whatever the fuck you do," Frank said, waving his arms around dramatically, signaling for the door.

Max bent low to kiss Frank, startling him slightly, before he practically skipped out the door.

Sinking back into his pillow once more Frank couldn't help but smile to himself. He could do it if he tried, he was going to find the pieces of that heart he once had and super glue it back together. After all, he was Frank Iero; nothing could keep him the fuck down.

After lying in bed a while longer, just until his stomach started growling, Frank tossed his legs over the side and slid his feet onto the floor. Stretching his back as per usual routine he yawned loudly, eyes half closed as he stepped around the corner of his bedroom ... And ran directly into the solid figure of another human being.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he shouted in alarm, taking several cautious steps away from the young brunette in front of him.

"Well it's always nice to see you too," Jess announced, that trade mark smile that said she was up to no fucking good looking straight back at him.

"How did you even get in here? What do you want?"

Frank was suddenly aware of just how naked he felt. Sure, he still had his boxers on, but that was all. And Jess had a way of fucking him with her eyes. In his current state of undress, it didn't take much.

Jess stopped smiling immediately at Frank’s words and sighed, bowing her head slightly.

"I'm late Frank."

Frank just stared at her, a little unsure of what she just said. It seemed a stupid and very short excuse for being over at his house.

"You're what?"

"I said I'm late!" she said, louder this time.

The words traveled from his ears to his brain where they seemed to send some sort of electric shock to his whole body. She was fucking late! But that meant, oh fuck! Gerard was going to kill him. Fuck Gerard, Lindsey was going to have his balls on a platter.

"Wait! No, fuck! You can't be ... I - I mean, I used a fucking condom! Shit - what the fuck?"

Jess' smile widened as she just rolled her eyes at him.

"I'm late for school Frank! Can you give me a lift?"

If Frank hadn't of been so worked up over the severity of her lie, he probably would have hugged her. That was too close for comfort; man was he going to be careful. He made a mental note to wear two condoms, even if he was screwing a guy. That way he could make absolute certain to avoid panic like that again.

"No! Fuck off! In the time it took you to walk here you could have fucking walked to school. Borrow my neighbour’s bike or something, just leave me alone."

It was at that moment that there was a knock on the door.

"Oh, were you expecting somebody?" Jess asked, immediately heading for Frank's front door. She was going to answer it.

"No you don't, get in there, lock the door and shut up!" he shouted, pointing to his open bedroom door.

She glanced into the bedroom and her grin widened. "Oh Frankie, did you have a busy night last night?"

"Shut up and just get in there, hurry up!" he practically pleaded, getting antsy now that the knock on the door sounded out again.

"Why should I?"

"Fucking hell. I'll drive you to school, I'll do anything, just, you can't be seen here!"

"I need an unfinished piece of music. Just some lyrics, some chords or notes on a piece of paper or something. I have an assignment and I didn't do it. Surely you have something lying around," she pulled away from Frank and started towards his lounge room.

Frank couldn't believe it. This girl was going to be the fucking death of him. There was another knock on the door. Perhaps whoever it was would just leave him alone, but he had a feeling that after yesterday’s events he knew who it was coming to visit him. He also knew that he definitely did not want them to see Jess in her school uniform, walking around his home.

"Yes, yes, fine. Whatever, I'll give you something just please, get in the fucking bedroom."

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that Frank," she sighed, smiling again.

This time though, she did as she was told and just in time too. At that moment the person knocking on his door got impatient and Frank heard it open as whoever it was just let themselves in.

"Hello? Frank? I know you're in here, the front doors unlocked ... again!"

Making sure that Jess was concealed behind his closed bedroom door, Frank moved into the hallway only to nearly run into a slightly startled looking Gerard.

"Hey Gee, to what do I owe this rather unexpected pleasure?" he asked, trying to collect himself and remain somewhat calm after that mornings proceedings.

Jess was completely forgotten about as he watched Gerard's eyes move slowly over his practically naked body. He licked his lips slightly, probably out of nervousness before swallowing hard and looking away.

"Did I catch you at a bad moment?" Gerard asked, his eyes now searching some of the rooms he could see from his current position as though expecting to find somebody there.

"I was just ... sleeping. If I had of known you were coming I would have, I dunno, baked a cake or something," Frank said, trying to get Gerard's mind off searching his place for Frank's latest fuck buddy.

Gerard's eyes flickered over his body again before he side stepped into Frank's kitchen, clearly eager for any chance to get away.

"You look - er - thin," Gerard said, clearing his throat slightly as he spoke.

"Why thank you."

"I mean, thinner. You know it wouldn't hurt you to get out of your fucking house every now and then. Go out, eat some real food." Gerard picked up a packet of pop-tarts and waved them around as though to prove his point.

Frank leant towards him and snatched them back. He got very possessive about his pop-tarts. Gerard knew that.

"As it just so happens, I'm doing that tonight. I have a date."

To Frank's great disappointment, his words didn't have as much of an effect on Gerard as he had hoped they would. Instead, the dark haired man before him just continued to search through the other items on Frank's kitchen bench.

"A date hey? Well don't forget to use one of these," Gerard announced as he grabbed something else off Frank's counter and inspected it closely. It was a packet of condoms. "Wow! Maxim hey? Did you have a growth spurt Frank?"

Frank put the pop-tarts into his left hand so he could use his right to jump at Gerard again and snatch the condoms away from him too. Gerard just stood there, smiling mischievously at him.

"Very funny Gee. And, as a matter of fact, I have. I've been working out. Hence my sexy figure as well. Lots of vitamins and shit."

Gerard laughed despite himself only causing Frank to smile at the sound. But it quickly died away as Gerard finally sighed and stopped searching Frank's kitchen bench. This time he leaned against it, folding his arms across his chest, his dark hair falling into his eyes until he flicked it away.

"Look Frank, I came over here because Lindsey told me what happened yesterday. I know you don't like her and I know what she said probably damaged that over-sized fucking pride of yours, but Frank ... don't stop playing base. Stick with it. You were born to play!"

Frank stared into Gerard's intense eyes. There was something behind them that almost took Frank's breath away. It was that same creative glow they always seemed to posses whenever Gerard used to be painting or writing music or running through the outfits for the next My Chemical Romance concert. Frank loved that look. The fact he had it whilst telling him to keep playing only satisfied him even more.

"I'm not giving it up Gee, but fuck, I just dunno if I can stay in that fucking band. I hate that woman! Why couldn't she have fired the rhythm guitarist or something? It's so typical of her to make me fucking play base! God Gee - I hate that instrument," Frank complained, clutching the condoms and pop-tarts so tightly they were beginning to collapse in on themselves.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise that floated out from underneath Frank's closed bedroom door. It was so loud that Gerard snapped his head up and stared between it and the worried looking Frank in confusion.

"So I did interrupt something," Gerard said, looking curious and perhaps a little bitter.

"N-no ... it's just, you know - rats."

"Rats?" Gerard looked skeptical as he stepped away from the bench and headed towards Frank's bedroom door.

All Frank could think was fuck! Because he really didn't want Gerard to walk in there and find Jess amongst a very ram shackled bed and a pile of discarded clothing, most of which was his.

"Gee, wait! Please don't go in there. It's fucking freaky, it'll change you."

Gerard stopped at the closed bedroom door, but he didn't open it. Instead he just turned around to face Frank, a look of pure loathing on his face. It made Frank cringe slightly and feel as guilty as hell.

"Fuck you Frank. God, I swear, I don't know why Jack likes you so fucking much sometimes. What's going to happen when he gets older and wants to be just like you? You're not setting a good example," Gerard yelled, making Frank almost hate himself had it not been for the fact he had gotten it all wrong. For once he didn't have some random women in there ... well, not one he was going to fuck again any time soon.

Frank was pissed off because he had been doing so well, with his job and with Max. Then, just like that, Jess had to ruin it all by turning up at his place for no reason other then to piss him off.

When Frank didn't say much else, just stood there, staring at the closed door looking nervous, Gerard simply shook his head and walked out the door. Not the best encounter they had had lately, but he could work on that later.

Once he was satisfied that Gerard had left, he swung open the bedroom door and was quite surprised when he found his room to be completely empty. Jess was no longer there.

In her place though, a small box that Frank usually kept under his bed, was now open and it's contents was spilled out all over his bed. It was the box he kept unfinished songs or scribbled messy guitar rhythms in. Jess had found it and had explored at her own bidding.

He had no idea if there was anything missing because he really had no idea what was in their anymore, he hadn't opened it in so long. Still, he had a feeling that she would have taken whatever she needed and fled with it.

It left Frank slightly glad at the fact he wasn't completely straight. Women could be such a bitch!

-----------------------------

"Dude, you have got to trim that fro, I can't even see your face anymore," Frank exclaimed, standing on his tip-i-toes so he could place a hand on the top of Ray's hair-do. The afro sucked in the hand immediately, Frank jumped back in fright. "It's going to fucking eat me!"

"You're in a good mood," Ray stated, poking Frank in the rib. "What happened? Did you get laid last night?"

At that point their conversation was interrupted, only by the young girl behind the counter at the Starbucks they had chosen to meet up at. She called out Frank's name and handed them their coffees. Together, they made their way to a secluded seat at the back of the coffee shop.

"As a matter of fact, Raymond, I have a new job," Frank said, sipping on his coffee as he proudly said the words.

"So I heard. It's base though, I thought you'd be pissed."

Frank clicked his tongue in annoyance at his friend’s words. When Ray had called, wanting to catch up, Frank was ecstatic. Mainly because he finally had something to brag about when they caught up again. It was typical of Ray to be one step ahead; he always knew everything about everyone.

"Yeah well, I got over it. Besides, it's good to have a guitar in my hands again, even if it is missing a couple of strings. How'd you find out anyway?"

"Come on Frank, you know Bob and I are in the whole band promotion scene at the moment. Lindsey called us up ages ago to see if we could help get a few of her bands out there in the big bad world. You're current band was one of them. They're quite good, don't fuck it up Frank," Ray finished, watching Frank closely.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm trying ... so tell me, how have you been? How's the wife? How's the kid?" Frank quickly changed the subject; talk of Lindsey only upset his good mood.

"Wife is great, kid is growing up way to fast for me. You know, you should come round and hang out with me and Bob sometime. We do miss you Frank," Ray looked awkward saying the words as though unsure how Frank would react.

Truth was, he had never meant to cut himself off from his old friends, but every now and then a part of him didn't want to go around and see them, especially knowing that he'd see them all happy with their own perfect lives.

Sure, he loved them more then anything in the world and their happiness was his happiness, but they had told him from the beginning he was going to fuck everything up with Gerard and when they had been right, he got sick of the "I told you so's". He knew they felt guilty as fuck about it later, especially after they noticed how much the whole situation killed him, that was probably why, slowly but surely they were trying to get Frank to come back into their lives again. As some sort of apology for rubbing his face in it.

"I'll visit soon, I'm just, trying to get everything back together again at the moment," he admitted, feeling slightly guilty that he wasn't around much. He did miss them.

"So I heard. New job and a new romance even?" Ray said, making Frank look at him in confusion.

"New romance? I have a date tonight, that's about it - but who the fuck told you that anyway?"

"Well Frank Iero on a date is definitely something to celebrate; last I checked you hated them. And Gerard told me this morning."

At these words Frank just continued to stare at Ray as though he was some form of alien. Frank had told Gerard he had a date that night just to see his reaction. Clearly, it had worked. Gerard may not have said much to him on the subject that morning in his kitchen, but he hadn't wasted any time in telling Ray the news.

Ray seemed to notice that Frank was thinking hard, he probably even guessed at what Frank was thinking. After all, they all still knew each other too well.

"Geeze Frank, you're not still in fucking love with him are you?" Ray asked, looking slightly apologetic but not all that surprised.

Frank bit on his lip ring.

"Little bit ... help me, please." He was smiling as he spoke, just so Ray knew he wasn't serious. And yet, a part of him was very serious. It had gone on so long; he knew he must have looked pretty pathetic.

Ray went silent for a moment as he stared out the window, his long fingers playing with the take-away lid of his coffee cup.

"You know Frank. I never meant the things I said. You know, after Gee ran off back to Lindsey ... I mean, Bob and I, we were pretty harsh," Ray's voice was softer now as he looked at Frank with worry in his eyes.

"I know that Ray, it's all good, forget about it," Frank shot in, but Ray wasn't finished.

"No Frank, it really wasn't okay. You came running to us all upset about it and we practically threw it all back in your face. We were just angry man ... I think, in a way, we kind of wanted you's to be happy, but we just knew it wouldn't last. I just wished we hadn't lost the band over it. I am truly sorry though, I should have been there for you."

Frank didn't intervene this time, in fact, he felt quite emotional at that point. Almost as if he could just let out all the tears he had been holding in for the past year and just wrap his arms around his friend and spill his guts out like a big girl. But he didn't, he just kept munching on his lip ring, staring at his friend.

"You really need a fucking hair cut dude! That thing is on its path to world domination."

Ray just rolled his eyes at Frank's typical maneuver to kill the mood. But he chuckled none-the-less, pulling at the ends of his curly hair.

"I guess it is a bit long. Kaitlyn likes it though, she says she likes the curls because her hair is always so straight," Ray said, puffing his chest out slightly as he talked about his daughter.

Ray and his wife weren't able to have kids. Frank still remembered the day their friend came to them, practically in tears when he had found out the news. Those things just happened though and there was nothing any of them could do. Ray was a crushed man.

Still, it was a matter of days before Ray returned to them again, this time with the biggest smile that they had ever seen permanently fixed on his face. They had adopted a young Korean girl, they were calling her Kaitlyn and she was, in Rays words, perfect.

Even though Kaitlyn wasn't their real daughter, it certainly felt like she was. The way Ray would talk about her with pride in his voice even calling up Frank and Gerard any time she so much as made a gurgling sound. Everyone had been so pleased that Ray was so happy.

It was clear that his little girl was still the light of Ray's life.

"Anyway Frank, I have to go; Bob needs me to fix the paper work. Honestly, I think the twins are becoming a real handful for him. You haven't even seen them yet, poor girls, they look just like him. Seriously though Frank, please man, don't be a stranger alright?" Ray demanded, looking as though he wasn't going to go anywhere until Frank promised.

"I will Toro, don't get your knickers all in a twist. I'll call you soon."

With that Ray reached out and ruffled Frank's hair before getting up and starting to walk away.

"Hey Ray," Frank called out, Ray turned looking thoughtful. "Um - thanks man. And I know you's didn't mean all that shit. I fucked up, in a lot of ways ... but, I'm getting better."

With that Ray immediately walked back to Frank and threw his arms around him, instantly Frank went into a state of panic as the side of his vision was blocked by locks of unruly brown hair.

"Get it away! Get it away," he cried, batting away at the curls. Ray just pulled away from him smiling.

"Fuck I missed you Frank. Have fun on your date tonight."

With that, Ray winked and disappeared, afro and all, from the coffee shop. Frank just lifted up the coffee cup and put it to his now smiling lips.

Things were getting better.

--------------------------------------------------

Frank couldn't remember the last time he had been this nervous. And he fucking hated himself for it because he shouldn't have been that nervous.

It was Gerard. They had been friends for years. They toured together for months on end, they dressed in the same space and now they were even fucking each other. Frank was pretty certain that there was nothing Gerard could say or do that would surprise him or make him nervous anymore.

Frank noticed how horribly wrong he had been as he just stood there, pacing his lounge room, wondering why the fuck Gerard wanted to take him on a date.

"A proper date Frankie. Dinner, a movie maybe even a nice walk in the park. I'll buy you an ice-cream," Gerard had said to him earlier that day. "I'm not taking no for an answer, when I get home, you better be ready to go out."

Since then, he had changed his clothes about six times, re-done his hair ten times more than that and practiced appropriate things to say in a public place in front of the mirror. It was safe to say he hadn't been that scared since he had experienced his first wet dream and had to find a way to explain to his father what the fuck just happened to him.

When he heard a key being turned in the front door, he stopped in his tracks and froze. His hands were sweating, his clothes were restricting and his heart was so loud he thought for sure people a million miles away would be wondering what the fuck that noise was.

"Frank? Why are you standing there in the dark?" Gerard asked, walking into the house and switching on the lounge room light.

"Gee ... I can't fucking do this," he said, rubbing his sweaty hands on his jeans.

Gerard just smiled as he approached him.

"You're kidding right? Don't tell me you've been standing here all day worrying about a little date!"

When Frank swallowed and nodded his head Gerard just burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

"What? What's so funny," Frank called out, feeling slightly harassed.

"God Frank! You know most people find having sex the hardest part in a relationship, I thought I wouldn't be able to do anything to throw you off. Who would have guessed I'd be able to do it with one simple word. Forget the word 'date' Frank; just think of it as the two of us hanging out."

Gerard stopped laughing when he realised how much he was getting to Frank, but he still couldn't stop smiling. This was incredibly silly.

"But we're not hanging out and it is a date! I'm expected to - well, that's it see, I dunno what you want me to do! I haven't dated in ages, what do I say? Is there a rule book for this sort of thing? How many times do I hold your hand before it gets too much? All that sort of shit." Frank spilled his guts without even thinking, it only made Gerard smile more.

"You're going to hate me Frank, but I like this side of you. You know, you really don't do this enough," Gerard said, the smile on his face gone as he looked quite serious now.

"Don't do what enough? Panic? Flip out?"

"No, open up to me. You always just go real quite and disappear into your own head; you never tell me what's wrong. This is a nice change, I like it."

Frank couldn't help but wonder if this had been Gerard's plan all along. If he purposely set him up like this so he could flip out and spill all his deepest, darkest and inner most fears.

Finally settling down slightly, Frank took a deep breath and locked eyes with Gerard.

"I'm hungry Gee."

The smile was back on Gerard's face instantly.

"Good! Hope you like pizza. We're going to pick it up and eat it at the park," Gerard announced, grabbing his keys and wallet off the kitchen bench.

Frank froze.

"What? We're getting pizza? You made me fucking worry about our date all day long and we're getting pizza? You made me put on every single pair of pants and every fucking shirt that I have ever owned and we're going to be eating in the park? Fuck you!"

Gerard erupted into laughter again as he just stared at the now pouting Frank.

"You're missing the point of a date Frank. We never leave this place; we're locked away in that fucking bedroom all day long. We can't do anything without it leading to something sexual and I think I've lost touch with my social skills. A date is a chance to get out of the house and spend some time with each other, just talking and doing fuck all. We get each other Frank, but we don't really know each other."

Frank uncrossed his arms and hung his head almost in shame. It still amazed him how deep Gerard could get sometimes. He felt like a bad person. It wasn't always about sex with them, surely not, they talked sometimes.

Still, what Gerard proposed sounded pretty good. Frank had to admit, he was getting sick of being stuck inside four walls every time he wasn't playing on some stage somewhere.

"Alright, lets go," Frank finally said, ruffling up his hair now that he knew they weren't going anywhere special. "I can't believe I dressed up for this.”

But as Frank made his way towards the door, Gerard just stood there staring at him. When Frank noticed he wasn't moving, he turned to look at him in concern.

"What is it?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at the still stationary Gerard.

"I dunno ... it's just - well - fuck Frank," Gerard paused, shaking his head slightly. Frank stepped towards him a little bit, slightly alarmed that he had done something wrong.

"Gee ... I'm sorry okay, it's just, I panicked, I'm an idiot. This is all just new to me you know, I don't want to fuck it up."

Gerard stopped shaking his head, only to look at Frank in confusion.

"It's not that Frank. It's just -"

"What? Fucking what?" Frank was getting really worried now. He had done something wrong, he had ruined it all.

"God Frank. It’s just that ... I love you so fucking much," Gerard said, causing Frank to stop and stare in complete and utter shock.

"Do people usually say that before their first ever date?"

Gerard just laughed as he threw the still surprised looking Frank his keys.

"You're driving."

-------------------------------------------------------

Frank was still the same old Frank in the sense that, he still fucking hated dates. Dating Gerard was never like dating, because they knew each other back to front and inside out. They had gone out before, when they had been touring and even when they had stopped touring. Just as friends, of course, but it was basically the same thing.

The butterfly's didn't hatch in his stomach until late afternoon when he realised that very soon Max was going to arrive and he would have to pull some form of a date out of his ass.

He had to admit though, the nerves he felt as he once again stood in front of the mirror trying on every outfit he owned, were absolutely nothing to those he felt on the first 'date' he and Gerard had ever gone on.

At the time he just thought it was his own stupidity and wild imagination that got him so worked up and worried about it, but looking back he knew he only felt so much pressure to get it right because he really cared about Gerard.

If he was nervous now then perhaps he cared about Max to. However, it didn't go unnoticed that the nerves weren't quite as intense. Perhaps he had a thing for Max, but it wasn't quite the same as the over-bearing emotions he had held for Gerard.

Luckily though, Frank was slightly more experienced now and when Max arrived at his place, looking better then he had at any of the times Frank had seen him so far, he suddenly felt he was quite ready to give this dating thing another try.

They went for dinner at the local bar. Sure, nothing fancy, but it was the place that Frank felt most comfortable and Max didn't complain, the atmosphere seemed to suit him. After all, he was in a small band that was used to playing in bars such as that one. Frank felt pretty good about himself, he had done the right thing.

"So you've got to tell me Frank, cause I'm a little confused," Max said, pushing a pea around his plate. "Are you gay, straight or undecided? Because I've heard stories and well, I just don't know."

Frank laughed. He hated being asked that question.

"Apparently I'm undecided. See, I thought screwing a guy made you gay, but apparently it doesn't, it just makes you curious and perhaps in desperate need of sexual therapy. I like women but I find some men to be interesting. Once I crossed that line, it was easy to do it again. Basically, I don't care, it's all the same."

Max raised his eyebrows at this statement, but he nodded his head as though impressed with his answer. Frank felt it was his turn to ask the questions, after all, there were things that he too actually found himself wanting to know about Max too.

"Okay, so tell me. That guy last night, the married one, tell me about him. I mean, in all honesty, I think you deserve better then that dick head," Frank said, leaning in closer to Max just so other people couldn't over hear their conversation.

To Frank's complete and utter surprise, Max bit his bottom lip and then began to cry.

"Fuck, I'm sorry Frank," he said, hurriedly wiping away his tears and trying not to sob loudly so as not to draw attention to himself.

"Shit! What did I say?" Frank asked, wondering how the fuck he always managed to make people cry. Max certainly didn't look the crying type, that was probably why he got so shaken.

"It's not you Frank, it's just. Man, this is going to sound so fucking stupid!"

Frank urged Max on anyway, he was very curious to see what had upset him so much.

"Tell me, it's cool, I've heard some pretty stupid things before, nothing can throw me off."

Max laughed slightly, his eyes still watery and his sobs still apparent as his chest heaved every now and again.

"Well ... we have a puppy together," Max said. Frank just stared.

"You have a puppy together? What does that mean exactly?" Frank handed Max his napkin, feeling as though it would help in some way.

"Um - it means we have a puppy together. Bill - that's his name - well, I guess he felt bad that he kept messing me around all the time, saying he'd leave his wife and then never doing it. So, he bought me a puppy, it was a birthday present. I had always wanted a dog but my mum was allergic so I never got one. Then, when I got older I didn't have time for one so always talked myself out of it. Naturally, when he gave it to me - well, lets just say it was the best present I had ever gotten. He knew me, you know, he really knew me." Max blew his nose on the napkin, the tears still leaking from his eyes.

"And ... what happened?" Frank asked, slightly caught up in the story despite himself.

"His fucking wife came back from her holiday a day early. I had to practically run the fuck out of that place. I left my puppy behind and the stupid bitch thought she was hers. Bill apologized but said that he couldn't give her back to me now because his wife would get suspicious. I know it's fucking stupid because I only had the dog a couple of days, but fuck - I just loved her so much."

Max finished his story, his sobbing getting more intense again. Frank couldn't help but feel a little sorry for the guy. He loved dogs, he could understand where he was coming from.

"What's her name?" he asked, Max stopped crying and looked at Frank in confusion. "The puppy, what's her name?"

"Sandy," Max said, dabbing at his eyes. "Because her fur was the colour of sand."

Frank rolled his eyes. At least he had discovered one thing about Max on the little date of theirs, he was very unimaginative.

As Max sat there, still sniffing and rubbing at his eyes, something seemed to click in Frank's head. This was it, this was his chance to prove to himself that he was still the same caring human-being that he had once been. But it was also a chance to prove to himself that he was also able to be more committed to a relationship. If that was in fact what he and Max had.

Sure, the date had gone well, but it just wasn't Frank's thing. He wasn't sure if he could be with this guy.

There was no chance he was going to break it off though, if they had something, because he was fucking stubborn. And, he still had a point to prove which was that he could be in a relationship again. So for now, Max was his and he had to give it a shot.

"Alright Max, get up," he instructed. Max stared at him, his blue eyes almost green due to the shine from the liquid that threatened to spill out of them.

"Why? Where are we going?"

"I'm going to get you your fucking dog back."

-----------------------------------------------------------

To Frank, getting back Max's puppy was in some form or other, his way of redemption.

He remembered back when he had Gerard and he had a particularly hard decision to make. Gerard's comic book series 'The Umbrella Academy' had been nominated for an award. To Gerard, it was a huge deal.

It didn't matter how much success My Chemical Romance got, Gerard was permanently scared with this idea of failure. He wasn't good enough for the comic book industry. His life's work, the one thing he dreamed about when he was kid, he was told he was a failure at.

So therefore, it was a huge thing when he was nominated for the award. Frank knew that, but that same day, 'Leathermouth' had their biggest show. It was the first time they would be doing a show on their own. It was just them and the fans. To Frank, it was just as big a deal.

They had a fight the night before; it was so insignificant that Frank couldn't even recall what the hell it was about now that he thought back on it. Still, they had been so mad at each other that Gerard had yelled at him saying he didn't want him at the awards. Frank had been so mad at Gerard that he didn't show up. Instead he did his concert and went out to get wasted afterwards.

Gerard won the award that day and had gone home to celebrate with Frank, upset that he hadn't showed up, but understanding nonetheless. When Frank didn't show up until early the next day, Gerard didn't talk to him. It was apparently the last straw because a week later Gerard announced that he had cheated on Frank. He had slept with Lindsey.

Naturally, he blamed himself. But when that got too much he blamed the band. When that got too much he just went back to blaming himself again until he drank himself into a stupor, thus destroying the band once and for all. In a way, destroying that which spoiled his and Gerard's relationship was his redemption, but now, he was going to do one better.

"Get in the drivers seat. When I run out, you're to take off. Got it?" Frank said, jumping out of his car and making sure Max understood the plan.

"Seriously Frank, you don't have to do this. What if you get caught?" Max asked worriedly, but he climbed into the driver’s seat nonetheless.

"I won’t. Remember, the second I get out, you start her up." Max nodded, Frank took a deep breath and headed towards the house.

“You’re insane,” Max exclaimed.

“Probably. We’ll worry about that when I get back.”

He had no plan of attack; he was running on adrenalin and stupidity alone. However, the first logical thing to do seemed to be to check a window. Maybe he could see what was going on inside. Hopefully Bill would be too busy watching some TV program or taking a shower to notice somebody come in and take his dog.

When Frank finally found a window that gave him a clear view of Bill's lounge room, he grinned to himself. Bill and his wife were on the lounge, screwing each others brains out. It was going to be all too fucking easy.

Abandoning his plan to climb in through a window, Frank assed the design of the house and decided his best bet would be the front door. Sure enough, it was unlocked. He made a mental note to lock the front door before having sex from now on. It was just too easy to get robbed when you were distracted by pleasure.

The moans and groans emitting from the lounge room gave Frank comfort enough, mainly because both of them were too fucking loud to hear Frank, even if he had fired a starting pistol he doubted they'd here.

He couldn't imagine why Bill would choose his wife over Max; the women's moaning was already giving Frank a migraine.

Finally, he saw the prize. Curled up in a small basket in a corner of the kitchen was a tiny golden retriever puppy. It's fur was definitely the colour of sand.

"Sandy, here girl ... come to Uncle Frankie," Frank whispered, glad that the shouts from the other room were getting louder but at the same time realising that he was running out of time.

The puppy sat up and yawned as it stretched out its paws. Inspecting Frank closely, its tail started wagging.

"That's it, up you get ... I'm here to get you away from this place, you lucky fucking dog," Frank continued to whisper as the puppy seemed to decided it liked him and came running towards him, ears flopping and tail still wagging.

Frank picked himself up off the ground and grabbed the puppy. He made to run to the front door, but as he did so, a painting caught his attention. It was very abstract and looked like the kind of thing that 'Mindless Self Indulgence' had on their cover albums. He wasn't even sure why, but he took that too.

It was at that exact moment that the squeals of delight from the other room escalated to their most glass-shattering point. He heard the synchronized groans of the man and the women come down off their high and he knew he had to get the fuck out of there.

He tried to tip toe out the door, but the fucking floor board gave him away, creaking under his weight.

"Who's there?" a man's voice, no doubt Bill's, boomed out. He heard hurried shuffling from the lounge room and his heart beat instantly increased.

Immediately he sprinted for the door. Puppy in one hand, painting in the other, he leapt down the steps and scrambled into the car.

"Drive Max, fucking drive!" he shouted. The shocked blonde in the driver’s seat obeyed his order and they sped off down the street and out of site of Bill's impressive home.

When they arrived back at Frank's place they were both on such a high from their little theft that they simply placed their winnings on the floor in Frank's hallway before they threw themselves at each other, hands traveling to every inch of flesh they could find.

"W-wait!" Frank shouted as Max started pushing him towards his bedroom.

Giving up on trying to remove himself from Max’s lips, Frank just dragged him with him as he headed back for the front door. Reaching out, he turned the lock and played with the handle, making sure the door was secure.

"Okay, now go," Frank said as Max obliged by dragging him back into the direction of the bedroom.

--------------------------------------------------

When Frank woke up the next morning, he was so exhausted and so at piece that it was hard to believe the events of the night before had actually taken place.

In fact, that was his first waking thought, that it had all been a dream.

“Max, stop pulling the sheets, I don’t want to get up yet,” Frank complained, as he felt the sheet he was wrapped in slowly getting pulled away from his torso.

He rolled over, taking the fabric with him but it didn’t take long before a strong force was trying to rip the sheet from his hand once more.

“Fine, fucking take it then,” he shouted, letting go of the sheet and feeling it immediately slide away from him.

Still refusing to open his eyes, Frank just lay there, boxer shorts once again the only thing covering his other wise exposed body. It was a little chilly and he thought about fighting for his sheet back, but it was at that moment he heard a growling noise coming from the floor. He forced his eyes open at once.

“What the fuck?” he questioned the empty room, because Max wasn’t lying next to him and the sheet was no longer on his bed.

Frank scrambled around, daring a peak over the edge of his mattress. When he did so, he saw his sheet lying on the floor and it was apparently moving. Something was wriggling around underneath it, emitting small yelps and growls.

Drowsy from sleep and extremely disorientated, Frank’s heart hammered against his chest as he dared to reach out towards the moving fabric. The moment his hand touched it he threw it upwards, exposing the moving object underneath.

He let out a surprised cry before he recognised the little golden retriever from the night before. It’s big black eyes were gazing up at Frank as it stuck it’s tongue out and started panting. Its small tail thumped the ground behind it.

“I thought you were a giant rat!” Frank said to the puppy, sighing in relief as the animal went back to growling at his sheet. “Hey, leave it alone.”

With that, Frank scooped up the puppy with one hand and gently placed it on the bed with him. It rushed at him playfully and the moment it was in arms reach of Frank’s face it jumped at him, licking anything it could get its tongue on.

“Ah, stop it - stop it!” he yelled, pushing the dog away only to have it bark softly and rush straight back for his face again.

“You’re up, it’s about time.”

Frank turned his drool covered head to smile weakly at the man who had just entered his room carrying two cups of coffee. Max put one on Frank’s bedside table before taking his spot on the edge of the bed.

Distracted by the newcomer, the puppy abandoned Frank and approached Max instead. Putting on a babyish voice, Max spoke nonsense to the small dog as it yapped at him.

“You’re dressed. Why are you dressed?” Frank complained, tugging at the pocket of Max’s jeans. He just smiled at Frank; looking probably the happiest he had looked since they had met.

“I have to work. Remember, smart-assed lawyer and all that.”

Frank growled at the tiny golden retriever as it tugged on his boxer shorts. It was a cute dog, he definitely missed the companionship of an animal.

“Oh yes, I remember now. Don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone that accomplished before,” Frank said, without actually noticing what he had just said.

Max’s smile grew, although he seemed slightly unsure of himself again as he spoke.

“You’re accomplished Frank, way more so then me. But ... is that what we’re doing? I mean, are we dating?” Max scratched the lab behind the ear, if anything, just for the distraction.

“Hm ... kinda, sorta, maybe - a little bit. You tell me ... is that what we’re doing?”

Laughing, Max just shook his head as he bent down, kissed the puppy on the top of the head and rolled off the bed.

“Guess we are Frank. I’ll call you when I’ve finished work.”

With that, Max waved and headed out the door, but Frank stopped him, he had to, because there was something Max was forgetting.

“Hey, what about your dog Max? Aren’t you going to take him with you?”

Max turned around, his face dropping slightly as he looked from Frank to the dog. He couldn’t believe he had stolen the thing for him and he could just forget it about it like that.

“Shit Frank. I didn’t have the heart to tell you - no one’s ever gone to that much trouble for me before. That’s not my dog. I’m sorry, but the bitch has a lot of them.”

“But, its all sandy coloured,” Frank whined, feeling shattered at the fact he had tried to do something good and had just ended up failing.

“Well, it’s more of a caramel ... but Frank, really, it’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done, ever. Don’t worry about it and keep the dog, I think she really likes you.”

With that Max just laughed at the rather disappointed look on Frank’s face, but he kissed him once for good measure before saying his last goodbye and heading out the door.

Frank watched the puppy crawl up closer to his face as though it was trying to do it without him noticing.

“Gotcha! Don’t even think about it, I don’t want any more slobber on me.”

The baby lab seemed to register something in his voice and it stopped and buried its face into Frank’s chest instead. He reached out and patted it on the head, feeling a genuine smile spread across his face.

He had a boyfriend and a dog. It was definitely enough for that sense of impending loneliness to leave him alone for a while.

----------------------------------------------

“Stop squirming,” Frank whined, trying to readjust the wriggling puppy with the same hand he was holding him in. He would have used the other but the painting he had stolen had taken residence in its grasp.

The moment he entered the small courtyard out the front of Gerard’s house, he heard the shuffling of papers and turned to see Gerard himself, hunched over his outdoor table, flicking through the pages of some book. It couldn’t have been very interesting cause he sighed loudly as he flicked to the next page and the next faster then any human could read.

Putting the painting by the front door, Frank tiptoed up to Gerard and peaked over his shoulder. The book he was reading was full of wedding invitation designs. A slight ache tugged at his heart, but he shrugged it off as he reached around the unsuspecting Gerard, picked up the book and threw it onto the ground.

“Hey!” Gerard shouted, spinning around in his chair. His expression immediately softened when he saw that it was Frank standing there. “Is that ... Frank, don’t tell me you got a dog!”

“Sort of - it’s actually a long story that one. Don’t tell me you’re actually going through with this marriage,” he was too busy still thinking about the wedding, Gerard was too busy focused on the dog as he ruffled up its fur and smiled fondly at it.

Gerard just ignored the question.

“Who on earth sold you a dog? Do they know you can barely look after yourself, let alone another living creature.”

Frank just rolled his eyes as he passed the excited puppy on to the equally excited Gerard. The look on his face when the puppy started chewing on his sleeve was priceless; Frank felt he could stare at him all day when he looked that happy.

“You know, I was serious last time Gee. If it was marriage that you wanted, I would have married you. Even if I had to dress as a girl to make it legal, I would have done it for you in a second.”

“You know Frank, once upon a time I was in love with you. But, not any more. I’m sorry, I’m marrying Lynz,” Gerard said, shaking his head as though he couldn’t believe Frank was still on that subject.

“I know you still want me Gerard, I see it in your eyes,” Frank teased, leaning in a little closer. As though to prove a point, Gerard didn’t pull away. And Frank had every intention to just keep moving in until his lips brushed against Gerard’s one more time, but a voice and a new presence stopped him in his tracks.

“Don’t you ever give up Frank,” Lindsey said, before staring at the puppy in Gerard’s hands in confusion.

“Ah Lindsey, just the person I wanted to see. I got you something actually,” Frank announced, reluctantly moving away from Gerard.

Lindsey looked at him in slight concern as he disappeared around the corner to retrieve the painting by the front door. Sighing at the unusual act of kindness he was about to do, he held the painting out for her to take.

Gerard and Lindsey both gaped at it.

“Frank ... what?” Gerard blabbed, his mouth hanging open. Lindsey was apparently speechless too.

“Consider it a thank you, of sorts,” he said, almost hating that she liked it so much. Still, he did owe her. The debt was now paid; he could be an asshole again without feeling too guilty.

“F-Frank,” she finally stammered, still inspecting the art. “This is a very expensive art work. Where the hell did you - how the hell did you even - why would you give it to me?”

“I know people ... who know people, who know people. I’m glad you liked it. Took me ages to pick it out.” He was glad he took something of value from that asshole Bill. Even if he did get the wrong dog, at least the shitty painting was worth a pretty penny.

“What’s up with you Frank ... you seem very -” Gerard thought for a moment, clearly struggling to find the right word.

“Happy?” Frank threw in for him, still grinning. It was clear Gerard liked this new Frank, that only made him smile more.

“Yes ... happy. I like the change,” he admitted, his pale face lighting up again as the small, pup yelped in his arms, angry at being forgotten about.

“Frankie!” an excitable voice sung out as Frank felt a miniscule body slam into his lower regions.

“Woah! Hey Jack, I got you a present to,” Frank exclaimed, bending down and kissing the top of the boys messy head of hair.

“A present? But why? It’s not my birthday yet,” Jack said, looking confused.

Frank moved over to Gerard and threw his arm around his shoulder. Gerard looked at him in confusion, but Jack seemed to notice what his present was immediately.

“A puppy! Daddy, daddy look, Frankie got me a puppy,” Jack squealed, jumping up and down as Lindsey and Gerard smiled at each other, shaking their heads in disbelief. But Frank’s good mood was definitely catching on.

“She doesn’t have a name Jack so you get to call her whatever you want. And don’t worry Gee, she can poop, eat and live at my house, you wont even notice she’s there,” Frank threw in, remembering how warn out Gerard had looked at the mention of a puppy last time.

“I wanna call her Frank,” Jack shouted out as Gerard bent down and placed the puppy on the floor so his son could play with it.

“Er - well it’s a girl dog Jack and Frank is a boys name,” Frank whined. “And besides, if she’s going to live with me, I’m not going to know if I’m talking to myself or the dog.”

“What about ...” Jack put his hand on his chin as though deep in thought. “Pansy!” he shouted.

“Woah! Where’d you hear that name?” Gerard asked, smiling at Frank. The name brought back a memory they both enjoyed and for a fleeting moment Frank felt closer to Gerard then he knew Lindsey ever had.

“I saw a picture of Frankie on Jess’ folder. His old guitar was called Pansy. Her name’s Pansy, can I have that name Frankie, can I?”

“Jess has a picture of you on her folder?” Lindsey repeated, staring at Frank in alarm, before glancing at Gerard rather suspiciously.

“What’s everybody looking at me for? I dunno,” Frank said, holding up his arms as though surrendering. “And yes Jack, I’d be honored if you called your puppy that. Although I got to say, people are going to ask questions.”

Jack sat on the ground whilst the little lab jumped up and licked at his face. The small boy giggled loudly as he struggled to keep Pansy from eating off his nose.

“Frank ... I just - I can’t believe ...” Gerard just laughed when he couldn’t find the right words to say. “You’ve done good Frank. God did you do good.”

With that Frank felt his heart swell. For a minute he was even afraid it was just going to keep growing until it exploded in his chest. That was until Jess walked onto the scene and Frank felt his face drop slightly at the memory of Jack’s words. He hoped to god that she kept her mouth quite.

“Wow! Don’t you guys look like one big happy dysfunctional family,” she announced, taking in the scene before her.

Lindsey put the painting she was still clutching onto for dear life aside, only to wrap her arm around Jess’ shoulder and move her forward into the group as though introducing her to everyone for the first time.

“I almost forgot. Today, I’m happy to report that Jess handed in one of the best pieces of music that I have ever had the pleasure to look upon. Her teacher was blown away and when she showed me - well, I just couldn’t believe it,” Lindsey said as she looked at Jess with pride in her eyes.

Frank winced at these words. Already knowing that it was in fact his music that Jess was claiming credit for. She just smiled her cheeky grin at him as Jack played with Pansy in front of them all, completely unaware of the secret turmoil between the adults all around him.

“The lyrics needed quite a bit of work ... but it doesn't matter, Jess has never even shown an interest in the subject before. I’ve got to say, I’m truly amazed,” Lindsey continued.

It was clear she couldn’t be prouder and for that reason alone Frank didn’t dampen the day by raining on their parade and announcing she stole some of his work. Jess may be a clingy little brat, but she had her fair share of problems too. It couldn’t be easy for a teen to have her dad run off and leave her with a step mother she had only known for a few years. It just went to show how much of a good person Lindsey truly was. That she would take on somebody else’s kid, on top of her own and still be that proud when they achieved something so good. Even if it wasn’t really their achievement.

They were definitely one big pile of fucking crazy.

“I’m sure the lyrics weren’t that bad,” Frank jumped in, feeling the need to stick up for himself.

“They weren’t bad ... just stiff. But that’s beside the point. You did an amazing job,” Lindsey continued to gloat, kissing Jess on the check.

In all the excitement Frank had forgotten about the fact that he was still standing merely millimeters from Gerard. When he felt the body next to him tense, he knew that Gerard was onto something. Perhaps he knew Jess couldn't write songs, perhaps he sensed that the piece was Franks, perhaps he finally clicked on and realised something was a miss, who knew. Frank was eternally grateful when Lindsey changed the subject.

“So Frank, dare I ask about the band. Are you staying or are you going to go back to unemployment and self loathing?”

At that moment, Frank simply looked all around him, particularly at the two most important people in his life; Jack and Gerard. Jack was sitting cross legged on the pavement, his new puppy, Pansy, curled up in his lap (clearly exhausted from all the licking). Next to him, Gerard was too entranced by his sons, and even Frank’s, new found happiness that he didn’t bother even getting into the conversation.

If he was going to be completely honest with himself, all of this change was started by his new job. Frank couldn’t turn it down, not now.

“Yeah Lynz, you got me, you lucky thang you,” he said, forcing a smile.

“Yay! Frankies gonna play again, Frankies gonna play,” Jack yelled out, causing the puppy in his lap to stir and awaken.

Lindsey nodded at Frank and smiled as though reassuring him that he was doing the right thing. There was still this nagging at his gut that told him to hate her, but at that moment, he couldn’t. She had been through just as much shit as him and nobody asked her to help him, she just did. Even if he tried to convince himself it was for her own selfish needs, looking out for her son, step daughter, soon to be husband and career was not his definition of selfishness.

Still, at that moment he envied her more then ever. She had everything he wanted.

“Fuck Frank! God, I’m so proud of you,” Gerard said, surprising Frank immensely when he pulled him into a tight hug and buried his face in his neck.

Frank felt his knees go weak. Coffee and sweat, that’s what Gerard smelt like, as he always did. He breathed it in, wondering if it was the last time he would do so.

“Thanks Gee,” he said. No more smart assed remarks, it was all he could say in return.

When Gerard pulled away, he sniffed loudly as though he had been crying, but there were no tears in his sparkling eyes.

At that moment, Frank was knocked away from Gerard as Jack ran at him again and threw his arms around his legs.

"I love you Frankie, I love you!" he shouted, clutching tightly onto the back of his jeans as though he was never going to let go.

Frank simply smiled down at the boy, glad that he at least still got to hear those words from somebody.

-----------------------------------

AN: Hey hey all, hope you're continuing to enjoy it all. This chapter took forever to write, some of it seems a little strained, I'm sorry. But, I dunno. I like it, just not my favourite, lol. Just felt it was vital, he he. xxx