FicWad

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, don't own the basic plot and quotes you recognise from Californication.

WARNINGS: This story is based on the television series "Californication", if you didn't like it or were offended by it, please do not read. I have changed a lot of the plot to suit my own wicked ways but it still includes a lot of swearing, alcohol and drug use, sex in every shape and form and some volgarity. Please do not read if this offends.

Chapter Four - Can I get my dick out now?

"So ... I've got to ask. Um - Frank, what happened to Leathermouth? I mean, you guys were doing so well, we really enjoyed your shows.”

Frank took a sip from the bottle of water that was placed on the table in front of him. Since the split of My Chemical Romance, he had become some what of a celebrity all on his own. This wasn't so bad, most of the time, but it was just unfortunate he didn't like interviews all that much. Especially interviews without Gerard by his side to answer most of the questions.

"Things just didn't work out. We clashed," he said simply, shrugging off the question.

After Gerard ran back to Lindsey, Frank ran back to the one thing that he could always rely on. Drugs and alcohol. Naturally, this meant that his duties as front man for his newer band were seriously neglected. Once the band had had enough of him passing out backstage, they decided to call it quits. There was no way he was going to tell these fans that. That day still left a bitter taste in Frank's mouth.

A hundred more hands shot up into the air, fans wanting to ask Frank his deepest darkest secrets. Lately, he had far too many of those. That was probably why he didn't like doing these interviews anymore.

The organiser of the interview singled out a small girl who was bouncing around on the tops of her toes, trying to get noticed. Her stunt had clearly worked.

"Um - Hi Frank,' she started, gushing at him, Frank just gave her a small wave. ”Um - my friends and I saw you playing in your new band the other night. Like, I've got to say it's really cool to see you playing again. But, I wanted to ask though, was the movie 'Love is all you need' true to the concept you had made for Leathermouth’s final unrecorded album?"

She finished her miniature speech breathing heavily as though the speed in which she said it all in had cost her a fair bit of effort. Frank just smiled kindly at her.

"Firstly ... let me just say this. That movie has nothing to do with me. In fact, the message behind the movie couldn't be further from the message I was trying to portray in the CD. The bastard that so ruthlessly butchered my concept should be casterized for his crime."

The fans giggled amongst themselves at his words. It was clear by quite a number of their scowling faces that they too were displeased with the film. It must have been a relief to hear that Frank was not willingly a part of its creation.

"You're a fucking no hoper Frank, you know that right?"

Every face in the room turned away from Frank to examine the new arrival to the interview. A huge smile spread across his face when he recognised the man that was walking towards him with an expression of pure loathing on his face.

It was Benjamin Torwin, the one and only. The cock head that had written and directed the said movie from hell. The same cock head that had been completely oblivious to the fact that Frank had been screwing his wife behind his back. Just for pay back, Frank reminded himself.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is everyone, Satan himself," Frank announced, waving his hand to signal the newcomer. "This is the man you have to thank for creating that pile of shit film we were just discussing and, of course, for being heartless enough to give me some form of credit for it's bull-shit story line."

The fans booed and hissed accordingly, which clearly didn't help Benjamin's mood as he stood there looking livid, waiting for the noises to die down.

"God Iero, don't you even realise that, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't even still have all these fans today. Stop talking shit about me in your interviews!"

At Benjamin's words another outraged uproar rose from the crowd. It made Frank feel good about himself that the fans weren't just there because he unwillingly had something to do with some fucking movie, they were there because they genuinely liked him and what he did for them through his music. Caught in the moment, Frank stood up and made to close the gap between himself and Benjamin.

"Is that why you're here Benji? To tell me to stop talking shit about you? I thought you were here because I fucked your wife in nearly every room of your house!"

Some of the crowd went silent, others gasped, a few of the guys just cheered and clapped loudly until others were joining in to. It was clear most of the fans thought he was joking. The Frank Iero they knew from way back would never pull a stunt like this. But he wasn't the same anymore, that respectable human being died a long time ago.

"You fucking son of a bitch!" Benjamin yelled, lunging at Frank.

Of course Frank had been expecting this reaction, but he was still caught off guard when Ben threw his entire body weight onto him. Frank was only quite small after all and he went crashing to the ground the moment their bodies connected.

The punches kept coming and he could do little to defend himself in such an awkward position so instead he just let down his guard so he could throw his own punches in instead. Ribs aching, face bleeding and arms flailing about wildly, Frank didn't even notice when security rushed in and pulled them apart.

"He started it," Frank protested as he was grabbed around the middle and lifted off his feet. He hated that he was height impaired; it made it so easy for people to just pick him up and take him away.

Still, he put up a good fight and squirmed around in the large gorilla like arms of this unknown security guard. Some of the fans even rushed forward to distract the guard and help him get free.

Whoever it was that had a hold of him certainly wasn't Franks usual security guard. His was far too busy holding Benjamin at bay. Therefore, Frank didn't even bother to feel bad for this unknown man as he kicked out his foot and connected it with the guard’s groin.

Finally free of his restrictions, Frank marched towards Benjamin purposefully, but the security recovered quickly and once again, he was grabbed around the middle, only this time the grip that picked him up almost crushed his ribs; the guard was pissed.

"You're coming with me," the security guard hissed, limping slightly at the discomfort his balls no doubt felt.

The 'attack', as it was so nicely put, on the security guard ended up putting Frank in the back seat of a cop car. He was going to be charged with assault. This only made Frank giggle to himself as he wondered what it would look like in the papers tomorrow when everyone read that tiny Frank Iero 'assaulted' a massive security guard with muscles that could rival even Arnold Schwarzenegger’s.

When they arrived at the police station, he was thrown very unceremoniously into a cell where he sat for a few hours contemplating over the day’s unforeseeable chain of events. Just as he was beginning to wonder if he could be bothered bailing himself out, a police officer turned up and unlocked his door.

"Hurry up, move your ass," the police officer instructed, tossing his head in the direction of the open cell door.

"Huh? But, I refused to pay bail," Frank said, looking slightly confused as he refused to move.

It was true too. When the police told him how much bail was, Frank refused to pay, stating he'd rather stay in the cell for a little while longer. After all, it wasn't all that bad. He got a bed, there was promise of free food and he even got toilet breaks. He couldn't see what the problem was really.

"Someone must like you kid, now get out of my site," the officer said, loosing patience as he reached out a hand, grabbed Frank by the collar of his shirt and threw him out of the cell.

He ignored the 'kid' comment and made his way, very warily, down the hall. After all, who would pay to have him bailed out of jail? Mikey maybe? Gerard? Frank hoped to god it wasn't Gerard, this was all he needed to add to their ever growing list of problems.

"Here's your things," the older policeman at the front desk said, waving him down as he almost walked out of the door without realising he had stuff to collect.

"If I find that one of my cigarettes is missing, I'll be right back in here for assault again, I promise you," Frank stated quite simply as he accepted his wallet and pack of smokes off the aging policeman.

The older man just sighed.

"Let’s hope I don't see you in here again. I have two teenage boys Iero, they look up to you, I'm starting to wonder if I should discourage that."

At those words, the old policeman managed to blow a sharp blow in Frank's tough guy demeanor. It was true. Kids still looked up to him. Was this how he was going to repay their unfaltering dedication?

He bit on his lip ring, smiling a little awkwardly at the older police officer before he stepped outside, lighting up a cigarette the moment he did so. It was mid-afternoon when he had been locked up; it was quite disorientating to find that the sky was now pitch black.

"Finally got arrested huh? It's about time."

Frank groaned loudly at the voice that had just spoken, because it suddenly becoming quite clear who had bailed him out. It was Lindsey.

"Ah fuck - anyone but you," he whined, feeling that he would need another pack of smokes to deal with this new discovery.

"You're welcome Frank," she said bitterly, flicking her dark hair over her shoulder as she walked towards him. "God, you're such a fucking moron!"

He sucked on the smoke in-between his fingers, desperate for the fumes to eat away at his lungs and kill him on the spot. Shame they didn't work quite that quickly.

"Thank you for your kind words Lindsey. I'm curious though, why'd you do it for anyway? Do you like, need something in return? Cause I never asked for you to bail me out." Frank hated owing people favours, especially people he disliked.

"I only did it because you were too stubborn to let yourself out and I'm not that selfish that I would sacrifice the reputation of one of my bands simply because I wanted to see you rot in a cell."

"Ah, I see. So this is all because you need me to keep doing my little tricks for your precious little band," Frank came to the realisation, bitterly.

"You didn't actually think that I wanted to let you out for myself did you?" Lindsey said, forcing a laugh. Frank just put the cigarette back to his lips.

"So, you basically get me a job and now you're bailing me out of jail. Have you gone soft on me Linds?" he teased.

"That seems to be the long and short of it Frank. But, of course, you thought Mikey found you that little job you've finally picked up, didn't you? Who do you think it was that suggested the band fire their old bassist? He was no good for them, when I promised they could have you instead, they jumped at the chance. After all, I may hate you, but I'm not stupid, you're an incredible guitar player, I do what's best for the people I work with. So yes Frank, you do have me to thank for both the job and your freedom."

Frank hated himself all over again. Frank hated Lindsey all over again. But he couldn't help but wonder why Lindsey would go to all that trouble just to get him employed, since when did she care?

"Fucking hell! What is this? Do you like get off on seeing me squirm or something?" Frank intervened, the smoke in his hand suddenly not appealing to him anymore. He tossed it to the ground and stamped it out angrily.

"Just keep the job Frank. Work hard, get your life back on track so that you can get the hell out of mine and Gerard’s," Lindsey shouted out, scowling at his attitude.

And at that moment, it suddenly became quite clear what she was doing. She was forcing him to move on. She was forcing him to go back to being obsessively absorbed by music. His one and only passion. In doing so, it would mean that he would go back to being the same old Frank. That same old Frank that used to ignore Gerard.

When he had nothing else to say, she shook her head and walked away as he just sunk onto a step outside the police station.

The first thought to cross his mind was to quit the band, being unemployed was better then giving Lindsey what she wanted. Yet, a part of him wanted to prove her wrong, wanted to prove everyone wrong. If he could be in a band and still be in Gerard's life, then he was doing something that people expected him to fail in.

He could do this, he would do this. He could prove to them all, and most importantly, to Gerard, that he could have his old life back but still learn from his past mistakes.

Feeling slightly better about himself, he lifted his sorry ass off the step and marched back into the police station.

"You again? Back so soon? What did you forget?" the old policeman asked, watching him curiously as Frank ripped out the blank page at the back of one of the pamphlets at the front desk.

"You got a pen?" he asked, ripping that blank page once more, this time into two halves.

"Yeah, why? What are you doing?" the older man asked, watching him closely.

Frank scribbled his name and a small message on each piece of paper. He inspected them closely, smiling to himself. It had been so long since he had signed an autograph; it felt good to do it again.

"Here," he said, handing over the two pieces of paper. "They're for your kids. Try and explain to them I'm not that much of a fuck up, bad things just happen to good people you know."

With that he smiled kindly at the stunned old man, handed back the pen and headed for the door. But he turned when he heard the old man call out his name.

"Thanks. I'm pretty sure you've just made their week. Please don't let me see you in here again Frank."

Frank smiled once more and nodded his head as he pushed open the door and stepped back out into the open air. He didn't know what tomorrow was going to bring, all he knew was that right now, he needed a fucking beer.

That thought in mind, he lit up another cigarette as he pulled up his collar, stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking to the nearest bar.

------------------------------------------------

Frank had been playing at local bars and clubs on and off for months now. It was hard to get any time to just do something normal with Gerard. He hadn't seen a movie in god knew how long and he certainly hadn't been out anywhere nice for dinner in even longer. In fact he couldn't even remember the last time he had been out of the house for anything other then Leathermouth.

Still, that wasn't really his and Gerard's thing. They preferred to spend the short time they had together just watching movies at home, eating junk food and screwing each other's brains out when that got too boring. And that was what Frank planned to do that night when he took out his key and unlocked the front door to his and Gerard's place.

"Honey, I'm home!" he sung out, giggling at his rather lame greeting. "And I'm home for four fucking days without touring. Plus, Jack's gone away with Lindsey so it's just you and me ... Where the fuck are you anyway?"

For a fleeting moment, Frank thought he was shouting out to an empty house. He looked in the kitchen to see if Gerard was having his usual late night coffee, then he looked in the lounge room wondering if Gerard was reading on the couch again, he even looked in the bedroom to make sure he wasn't already sleeping. There was no sign of him.

"GEE?" he called again, wondering where the hell he would get to.

"Stop fucking shouting Frank, I'm right here," Gerard announced, poking his head around the corner of one of the spare rooms.

A huge smile spread across his face as he made his way towards the room. It was Gerard's art room. If he was in there, it meant he was in one of those artsy moods and Frank loved looking at Gerard's art.

"Did you hear what I said Gee? The whole fucking place to ourselves," Frank repeated as he entered the room and saw the state of disarray it was in. Mess bothered him, but this was Gerard's space, it was allowed to be messy.

"I heard you. But just try and keep your dick in your pants for five minutes would ya, I want to show you what I did today."

Gerard reached out and grabbed Frank's hand, pulling him in closer to the table he was leaning over. On it was a series of small little canvas' each one a different panel in a miniature comic book strip. Frank just stared in awe at the work in front of him. Gerard always managed to blow him away with these sorts of things.

"Do you like it?" Gerard asked, biting his nails as though truly nervous about how Frank would feel about his work.

"Gee - I fucking love it," Frank exclaimed, not taking his eyes off the colourful canvases in front of him. "I-it's ... Wow! It's amazing Gee. You're amazing!"

He must have read the strip five times over before he felt Gerard's lips brush gently against his neck. Caught up in the sheer amazement he felt over Gerard's work, Frank had completely forgotten that moments ago the only thing on his mind had been sex.

He turned his head slightly, in order to get Gerard away from his neck. Frank often had that nagging suspicion that Gerard was some form of real life Vampire because he had an odd obsession with biting his neck and leaving his mark. Frank didn't mind, it was kinky shit like that which kept him interested.

"Can I get my dick out now?" he whined, as he brushed his long fringe out of his eyes. Gerard laughed as his hands rested quite comfortably on Frank's belt buckle.

"You can do what ever the fuck you want Frank."

At those words Frank pushed his lips into Gerard’s, causing a slight moan to erupt at the sudden force that he was now displaying. Gerard was used to this kind of energy from Frank though and he just allowed the smaller man to take control as he was pushed against the table he had just been working at. Several of the cups of water on Gerard's desk, which he used for when he worked with water colours, toppled over.

"Shit, Frank ... bedroom. Now! You're going to destroy this place again," Gerard hissed as he was pushed onto a set of paintbrushes.

"You said I could do whatever I wanted though," Frank said cheekily, sticking his hand straight down the front of Gerard's pants.

"Ah fuck -" Gerard gasped at the sudden contact. "True, but not here. I think I have a paint brush up my ass."

Giggling, Frank removed his hand only to have it grab the waist line of Gerard's pants instead. In doing so, he was able to drag Gerard like that all the way to the bedroom. Walking backwards, he didn't realise how close he was to the bed until his legs connected with it and he stumbled down onto it, Gerard falling rather heavily on top.

Their kissing became furious and desperate, well; at least it did on Franks end. Gerard always tried to keep some sort of order, but in the end, the more energetic of the two always won out.

"These pants have to come off now," Frank instructed, trying to tug them off Gerard but not being very successful.

"Yeah, yeah, calm down, I'm getting there," the rather harassed looking Gerard exclaimed as he struggled to kick them off.

"This to," he said, this time tugging at Gerard's shirt. Gerard just shook his head as he did as he was told. Frank still had his pants on but his shirt was long forgotten. It was always the very first thing he removed from either of them; he would often claim the fabric was too restricting.

Frank was never very good at foreplay. The teasing that Gerard would often do, just to piss him off, only seemed to cause the guitarist some sort of crippling pain. As though the pleasure was too much for him to bare. For that reason, they only ground their erections into each other for a small while before Frank pushed Gerard away from him slightly, just so he could try and turn around on the bed. Face down, like he always seemed to be if he wasn't the one on top. But tonight, Gerard grabbed his shoulders and stopped him from doing so.

"Wait Frank, don't," he said, panting as Frank just looked at him in slight confusion. "I-I wanted to try something different this time."

Gerard swallowed hard at the proposition he was about to lay before Frank. Somehow he could already guess at his reaction, but he still had to find out. After all, most gay couples did it.

"What did you want to try?" Frank asked, still looking confused.

The problem was, sex was sex with Frank and whilst Gerard would never complain about it, after having such a successful day, he felt quite daring and had wanted to do something else with him for a long time.

Now that Frank was giving him his full attention though, he suddenly felt quite nervous, even ashamed to ask, because he knew how he was going to react.

"W-well, I was hoping we could, you know, maybe try doing it - like, um - facing each other this time," Gerard stuttered out, rubbing a hand through his already damp hair and licking his lip out of pure nervous habit.

He felt Frank tense slightly underneath him, his eyes searching Gerard's as though checking to see if he was being serious or not.

"W-why?" Frank asked simply, sucking his lip ring into his mouth as his eyebrows crinkled together in worry.

"Well ... it's just more intimate - I mean, that way we can sort of see each other," Gerard continued, his heart pounding quite fast against his chest. He felt stupid for even bringing it up now.

"Oh." Gerard saw Frank swallow as he wriggled out from underneath him a bit. "I-is it harder then what we usually do?"

Gerard could already see that Frank hated the idea, he knew he would. Intimacy was not Frank's thing, he liked to fuck you until he was worn out and be done with you, it was just his way. But Gerard knew he had to give it a shot, perhaps Frank would want to try, if only to do something Gerard wanted to do for a change.

"I'm not sure; I've never done it before. I'm guessing it's probably a little uncomfortable - but - you know what Frank, don't worry about it, really, sorry I brought it up," Gerard said, backing off slightly.

The more he talked about it, the more he realised how much of a bad idea it was. Frank had had enough trouble just getting into the whole swing of front to back sex, perhaps it was a little too soon to introduce such an impossible possibility. He didn't want to push him into it. Especially not after last time, Gerard didn't want to hurt Frank like that ever again.

By this stage Frank had removed himself from Gerard, sitting slightly further back, his knees tucked up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them protectively.

It was clear he didn't want to say no for the simple reason that it was what Gerard wanted to do, he didn't like to say no to him. Plus, the awkward look on Gerard's face only made him feel even more pressured to perhaps let him do what he wanted. But Frank just didn't feel ready for that sort of thing. It seemed too personal, he wasn't even sure if he was that comfortable with himself when he was with Gerard to let him see him in such a weak state. Immense pleasure was the weakest a human-being could be.

"It's okay Frank, really - I shouldn't have asked," Gerard said, picking at a piece of lint on the sheets.

"S'okay Gee ... maybe just not right now though," Frank mumbled out, hating himself for refusing Gerard and hating Gerard slightly for ruining the mood and putting him in this position.

The next day Frank felt terrible at shutting down Gerard when he was, for the first time in probably their whole relationship, trying to put a suggestion down onto the sex table.

That was probably why Frank accepted the gig at a local underground club for that night. Sure, they were supposed to be taking a break, but he didn't want to just sit their letting the guilt eat away at him, he needed to vent some of that energy.

He needed to figure out how he was going to explain himself to Gerard. How did you explain to someone who thought you were the strongest person alive that you were scared of a little bit of intimacy?

----------------------------------------------------------

Frank took another sip of his beer and sighed at the memories that came rushing back to him. Of all the places to have some sort of a flash back, it had to be at a fucking bar. It just went to show that it was a slow night. Not one person had come up to flirt with him whilst he had drifted off.

He knew all of his faults; he knew where he had gone wrong in his relationship with Gerard. The problem was, he never talked about his problems with him.

He remembered the day Gerard so innocently tried to suggest something different in the bedroom. It seemed to be the day that began Frank's ever growing need to push Gerard so far away that he was forced to run off back to Lindsey.

Of course, he hadn't meant to push him away. It was just; that was also the day that made Frank realise he was truly in a relationship with Gerard. It made him realise that Gerard loved him so much he wanted to watch him, head on as he reached his climax and came from the things that he was doing to him.

Sure, Frank wanted to watch Gerard in that position to, but never in his whole life had he felt as vulnerable as he had that day and that was just at the suggestion of face to face sex.

Frank was always the energetic one, the crazy one, the stronger one, especially when it came to things like emotions. The thought of being so vulnerable in front of the one person he wanted to be strong for scared the living shit out of him.

That was probably why they began having sex less and less after that day, which was probably why it all fell apart. All because Frank couldn't be intimate with the man he loved. Because, yes, he did love him, but that love also scared him. Weakness scared him and love was the ultimate weakness. Especially their kind of love.

Gerard was the first person to ever completely break through Franks armour. He was the first person to ever reduce him to so much pain that he feared for the state of his well-being. It was both frightening and moving. It was moments like that Frank would never forget...

--------------------------------------------------------

Whenever Frank and Gerard had sex, Frank had always been on top.

It was just where he felt he was supposed to be. Gerard had no problems with opening up fully to the idea of a gay relationship but Frank had to be eased into it more slowly. Therefore, Gerard received whilst Frank fucked him senseless.

Frank appreciated Gerard so much for letting him be in control. It made him feel dominant which was what Frank felt he had to feel. If he didn't have that dominance, he would sink away into that impenetrable shell of his and never come out. He hadn't felt vulnerable since he had been shoved into a locker at high school. He was older now, he was stronger, he made himself stronger and as a result he never wanted to feel that weak again.

It was important, no, it was vital that he had that strength in the bed room.

He never thought Gerard was weak in any shape or form, he just felt that he had to be strong for him.

Gerard had given him so much over the years, he was the one that gave Frank the chance to be in My Chemical Romance. Gerard changed his life that day, Gerard gave him a life. For that, Frank would give his own life for him in a heart beat. That was why he needed to be stronger, because it was the only way he knew how to show someone he cared about them.

"Wait Gee, stop for a second," Frank said, as Gerard lay on top of him, sucking and biting his neck as he always did.

Gerard stopped immediately simply because it was uncommon for Frank to ever stop him, even if he was biting down on Franks neck so hard that it bled.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern lining his pale features.

"Nothing's wrong ... I just - well, do you - you know - do you want to be on top this time?"

Frank had come to the realisation earlier that day that he loved Gerard. He loved him more then anything else in the whole wide world. He couldn't pinpoint an exact thought that made him realise that, all he knew was that the love was there. It was so strong it almost hurt.

Of course, he didn't say that out loud just yet, he didn't want to say it until Gerard said it first. What if the love wasn't returned? What if he opened up his heart to this man and he simply tore it up in front of his face?

Weakness! He couldn't handle that. It was too much.

But that new found love was probably the reason Frank was willing to give himself completely to Gerard. Besides, he was a curious person; he wanted to know what it felt like. He wanted to know what Gerard felt every time he fucked him into the sheets.

Gerard put one hand onto Frank’s chest and pushed away from him slightly. He just sat there, staring at Frank with a surprised look on his face.

"Are you sure Frank? I mean, I don't mind either way. If you want me to ... well, I will," Gerard explained, the awkwardness in his voice not going unnoticed. Frank loved that, no matter what, he could still surprise Gerard.

It was clear by the look on Gerard's face that he wanted to do what Frank asked more then anything. And as Frank just lay there, watching Gerard, shirtless and sweaty, dark hair falling into his shining hazel eyes, he knew he wasn't about to back down. He wanted Gerard to take charge for a change..

"Hell yeah Gee. I'm serious ... I want you to fuck me."

With those words, Gerard smiled down at Frank causing that heat in his pants to become almost unbearable.

He flipped himself over immediately, copying the move Gerard would usually do when Frank was the one on top. His pants were removed almost instantly and as he braced himself on hands and knees he realised just how boring it must have been for Gerard to just stare at the same old sheets every time they had sex, whilst Frank got a great view from behind.

"Ready Frank? I'm just going to prepare you a little bit first," Gerard said, his voice was shaky which only caused Frank to giggle slightly.

It amazed him how Gerard could be so nervous simply because the rolls were reversed. If anything, Frank should have been the nervous one, but he wasn't, he was just curious.

At that moment Frank felt one of Gerard's fingers enter him. It was the strangest feeling he had ever experienced but it wasn't painful. He often heard how painful these things could be, Gerard had never really complained before which naturally only led Frank to assume that he wouldn't feel much pain either. He spent most of his life injured, he was immune to pain, much more so then Gerard.

When the second finger entered he resisted the urge to sigh; it wasn't really doing anything for him. There wasn't enough action, he was getting antsy.

"Forget it Gee, just stick it in already, I'm prepared enough," Frank commanded, desperate for Gerard to be inside him and not just his fucking fingers. He felt stupid.

"Hold on Frank, let me do this right," Gerard said, running a hand through Franks hair in an attempt to settle him down.

It was at that moment that Gerard’s fingers pushed up against something inside of him and he clasped the sheets and groaned in pleasure. He pushed himself backwards, trying to urge Gerard to press on that spot again.

"Oh fuck Gee, do that again," he instructed, still pushing backwards. Gerard laughed as he removed his fingers, leaving Frank writhing, begging for more.

"Okay, ready?" he asked, moving his hands up and down Frank's ribs and stomach, clearly looking for something to hold onto.

"Yes! Fucking do it already."

Frank's impatience was probably the reason why Gerard didn't notice the rather obvious problem that they were faced with, he was no doubt so sick of Frank's commands that he was finally ready to have the chance to shut him up once and for all.

Meanwhile, Frank was simply too caught up in the good feeling to really think about what was happening back there, if he had of, he probably would have come to the same obvious realisation before it was too late.

Gerard was bigger then Frank. Yes, they had compared. It was something Frank just thought he had to do when they first started going down on one another.

The size of their dicks never really concerned Frank though, mainly because he didn't see why he should feel threatened when he technically owned Gerard's dick now to. Still, the implications of size never came in to play ... until now.

As Gerard lined himself up, pushing in only a tiny bit, Frank was oblivious to the problem at hand, he just grew impatient, as he always did.

"Come on Gerard, just find that spot again, get it in there," he demanded, pushing back slightly again.

No doubt frustrated at being bossed around, Gerard did as he was told, pushing in probably a little too quickly.

Suddenly, an unbearable pain ripped through Frank's body and he quickly bit down on the flesh on his arm so hard he instantly drew blood. It was all he could think to do to take the pain away and to stop himself from screaming. He didn't want to cry out. If Gerard could deal with it, so could he, the pain would subside, it had to. Nothing could hurt this bad.

Within seconds, it became too much. He couldn't do this.

But, he was Frank, he had endured all types of excruciating pain before, he had to do this. If Gerard could handle it, so could he. After all, he was stubborn.

"How you doing Frank?" Gerard asked when he was all the way in. His voice was almost hesitant; clearly he didn't want to be told to go faster or to push in harder anymore.

Frank tried to answer him, but the words came out all wrong. He had lost ... he wasn't stronger ... he couldn't handle this pain. Gerard was ripping him apart!

"Fuck! Gee, get it out! Fucking - stop - please stop - shit! It's fucking - ah shit!"

His words had an immediate effect on Gerard and he pulled out the moment he heard them and noticed that the strangely quite Frank was now drawing blood from his own arm.

"Fuck Frank! I'm so fucking sorry. Talk to me, are you alright?" Gerard shouted at him, moving away as Frank just collapsed into the sheets, moaning loudly and clenching his butt-cheeks together as he did so.

"Oh fuck! I think you punctured something, I'm fucking bleeding," Frank cried, twisting around trying to look at his own ass. "Holy shit! Is it supposed to hurt this bad?"

Gerard just leant over him, watching his face closely, Frank tried to look at him, if anything just to reassure him that he would live, but all Gerard could see was Frank clenching his perfect features into that of excruciating pain. Pain that he caused.

"I told you I had to prepare you first! Why didn't you just let me do it my way?" Gerard yelled out, looking extremely harassed.

Immediately he jumped off the bed and marched towards the bathroom. He slammed the door shut behind him as he went. Frank didn't bother calling out to him, he was too busy pulling up his pants, hoping that in some way it would stop the pain and stop the bleeding.

When the pain subsided to a dull throb, only coursing through him every now and then, he was able to breath easy again. His ass still ached, the memory of the pain still lingered. It was no doubt the worst feeling he could ever remember experiencing.

It wasn't till then that Gerard finally resurfaced from the bathroom. His eyes terribly blood shot as he sniffled slightly. It was clear he had been crying.

Without saying a word he made his way back to the bed and sat down, leaning against the wall behind it. Frank knew they must have looked a right site. Gerard sitting there with his arms folded across his chest as though he was a pouting child whilst Frank moaned, face down in the sheets, as pain rattled his body every now and then.

"Has it stopped bleeding?" Gerard finally asked, his voice a little shaky.

"Yes," Frank lied.

He knew it hadn't he could feel the blood slowly seeping down his leg. Still, he didn't want Gerard to think he still was, it meant more weakness and he had already shown enough for one night.

"Fucking liar, I can see it seeping through your jeans Frank," Gerard said, biting his lip as he searched Frank's eyes.

Frank had to look away. Gerard's gaze was too intense.

"Why'd you fucking cry for?" Frank complained, changing the subject.

When Gerard cried, Frank never saw it as a sign of weakness, at least, not on Gerard's behalf. When he cried, it only made Frank feel weak, because he had done the one thing he had promised never to do and that was hurt him. He had hurt Gerard.

"I'm crying because I fucking hurt you Frank! That's why! All the shit you do all the time, even when you broke your toes - I've never, ever heard you cry out like that. I fucking did that to you! You made me hurt you!"

Now it was Gerard’s turn to look away and Frank watched on closely, noting small little tears fall down Gerard’s cheeks before they were brushed away by him in anger. For once, Frank didn't know what to say.

They were both on the same page, they both felt the same way, just on different sides. In his own way, Gerard too was trying to be the strong one.

Frank shuffled over, wincing every move he made, but he didn't stop until he could successfully wrap one weak arm around Gerard's middle. Due to his awkward position, he just buried his face into Gerard's lower back, kissing it lightly.

"Fuck you Frank," Gerard sobbed one last time before placing a hand on Franks head and running his fingers through his hair again. The soothing gesture was welcomed and Frank squeezed Gerard tighter to show that he would be alright.

It was the first time he had ever had someone hurt him like that. It was the first time he had ever been so vulnerable like that. That was probably why, at that moment, Frank knew it was okay, he could say the words. Gerard deserved them.

"I fucking love you Gee," he said, his words slightly muffled as he was still buried in against his body.

The hand in Frank's hair stopped moving and there was another loud sob from the still upright Gerard.

"I fucking love you to Frankie."

The words meant everything and the pain was soon forgotten as Frank just lay there, awkwardly clutching onto the one and only person he had ever felt so naked in front of.

Gerard had done it. Gerard had officially broken him only to build him up again with those few simple words.

Even though he still felt as weak as fuck, the words were all he needed to feel strong again.

Frank was invincible.
--------------------------------------------------------------------

"You look as though you've just been bitten on the ass by that stool," a voice said, snapping Frank from his thoughts.

"Huh? What?" he asked, turning his head to find a dark haired girl watching him closely. Her face was littered with freckles and she had bright green eyes. There was no hint of another colour in them, they were just solid green.

She giggled as she shook her head at him.

"You. I've never seen someone so lost in their own head at a bar before. And a second ago you jumped so high I thought for sure you must have sat on a nest of ants or something."

Clearly Frank had been so caught up in his own memories, once again, that the thought of his first real time with Gerard had stirred up some sort of pain memory bank. His ass was throbbing into the bar stool he was sitting on. That was a night he was certainly not going to be able to forget about any time soon.

"That's not a very good pick-up line," Frank said, smiling back at her. She was quite attractive.

"No? How about this one? Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants."

"Nice. I'll admit, I haven't heard that one before."

Frank watched the girl blush slightly at her forward approach. Whilst he didn't feel quite in the right mood to take this girl home and screw her senseless right now, it didn't stop him from buying her a drink.

"So? What were you thinking about?" she asked, watching him closely over the top of her Vodka and raspberry.

"Just an old flesh wound. I'm all better now," he explained quite simply.

A silence fell between them. This in itself was the strangest thing Frank had experienced in a long time. He always had something to say, especially to attractive women. What was wrong with him?

It was at that moment an attractive male, sitting at a table just behind Frank's new found drinking buddy, caught his attention. He recognised the guy and it took him a few minutes to remember where he recognised him from.

It was the singer. The same singer he had picked up at the bar the night that Jack ran off to that teenagers party. It was the same singer he had had to kick out of his bed rather quickly, making up some half-assed apology. It was the same singer that had been quite pissed off at missing out on a root with the Frank Iero.

"Would you excuse me for a second," Frank said to the dark haired beauty.

"Huh? Oh, sure." She looked disappointed that Frank was leaving her to talk to some guy, but she was attractive, he knew she would find some other sucker to take home.

Frank wasn't even sure what it was that made him walk towards that table, but he did it anyway. When the singer looked up, clearly sensing that he was being watched, he rolled his eyes at the site of him. Frank just smirked and took the empty seat that was opposite the guy.

"Dining alone?" Frank asked, already noting that there were two settings on the table and therefore he wouldn't be dining alone. It was merely to make conversation.

"No, my boyfriend is here with me, so if you don't mind," the singer directed his eyes back towards the bar as though instructing Frank to piss off back there.

"Oh come on, you're not still pissed at me for kicking you out of my bed are you?"

"Yes actually, as a matter of fact I am," the man admitted, his blue eyes locking onto Franks.

"Why?" he asked, curious.

"Because I may have liked you - just a little bit," the singer admitted, his eye contact faltering slightly now. "And you just fucking changed your mind and threw me out of there."

"I didn't throw you out of there. And I swear it was a dire emergency, other wise I would have just told them to fuck off. If it makes you feel any better, I would have much rather been fucking you then off doing what I was doing."

Franks words seemed to impact on the singer as a small, attractive smile spread across his slightly sun-tanned checks. This one was a looker and there was something about him that captivated Frank's full attention. He couldn't ignore that.

"So? Have you got a name? I never got it last time," Frank explained, clearly not having any problems holding a conversation with his newest catch.

"It's Max," the singer said. And with that, Frank knew he had him.

"Excuse me," a patronizing voice said to his side.

"Oh shit, sorry, am I in your seat?" Frank drawled, clearly not too worried that he was in fact in this guys seat. "Just catching up with my old friend Max here, haven't seen him since high school. Anyway, it's been an absolute pleasure."

Frank stood up and put out his hand for Max to shake, he did so, watching Frank closely with his stunning eyes. Frank winked at him and then proceeded to walk back to the bar; he could feel the singer watching him all the way back there.

He had never had much of a thing for blondes, the only exception obviously being Gerard, but his hair had been more white then blonde and it didn't last long. Still, the singer had more of a dirty, slightly off-blonde colour. Frank liked it. If given the chance, he was definitely going to give that guy another go that night.

As Frank sat at the bar ordering drink after drink, he was kept company by the dark-haired, green-eyed female again until she stated her ride was there and she had to leave. It was clear she wanted Frank to go home with her, but he had his eyes on another prize at that moment. And soon enough, his patience paid off as he heard Max’s' well-spoken voice say goodbye to his 'boyfriend'.

It wasn't long at all before Frank felt someone sit down on the stool next to him, their leg brushing up against his just enough to send his imagination running wildly.

"Can I get a vodka and coke please?" Max ordered the moment he sat down.

Frank's stomach flipped. When Gerard used to drink, that exact mix had been his favourite. But it definitely wasn't the time or place to be thinking about him right now. It was time to move on. He had done a lot of thinking that night and he had made a lot of progress that week. It was time he got himself into another relationship. A proper relationship and Max just seemed to be in the right place at the right time to be the wining candidate.

It was time he tested himself. It was time to see how much he had really changed since Gerard.

"Your boyfriends an arrogant asshole," Frank said, straight out. After all, he could well be the one thing standing in Frank's way.

"You don't even know him Frank," Max stated quite simply, brushing some of his light-coloured hair out of his face. "And besides. He's not really my boyfriend ... he's kind of married."

Max picked at a small chink in his glass, glancing at Frank nervously as though afraid what he might think of him. Frank just grinned widely at him. After all, how could he judge Max when he did that sort of shit all the time.

"So you're the younger boy on the side then ey? Cause I did notice, he's a lot older then you are."

Frank watched Max closely as he seemed to look quite sad about something for a moment of two. But as he sipped from his drink and locked eyes with Franks' again, the look was gone and a smile was on his face once again.

"That's pretty much it. We've been seeing each other for a while now and he keeps saying he'll leave his wife for me. But he called this little dinner tonight to tell me it's taking longer then expected to get rid of her. I'm quite sick of it to tell you the truth."

Max kept smiling but Frank could sense the bitterness and perhaps even the well-hidden misery behind his story. Frank took advantage of that, it was what he did best after all.

"Well, then it's a good thing I came along, isn't it?" he nudged Max gently as he spoke causing the blonde to laugh genuinely, his almost perfectly straight teeth causing Frank to stare a bit longer at his lips.

Coming to an easy decision, Frank downed the last of the beer in his hand and stood up. Max looked quite alarmed, almost as though he had done something wrong and Frank was now so pissed that he was leaving. But Frank just stared at the rather disappointed looking singer as though he was being stupid.

"So? Are you coming or not?" Frank said, shrugging his shoulders as though he seriously didn't understand how Max could not have got the message.

"Serious?" Max asked, it almost pained Frank to see how unsure of himself the blonde was at that moment.

"Yeah I'm fucking serious. Let's go."

Max smiled brightly again before placing the glass full of Vodka and coke to his lips once more and sculling the remainder. Once this was done he jumped up with the excitement of a child that was going to Disneyland; it only caused Frank to loose himself in the moment and smile along with him.

As they left the bar and headed for Frank's house, making out for the entire cab ride, he couldn't help but feel that flip in the pit of his stomach. That same butterfly like feeling he hadn't felt in a long time.

Was Max going to be the one thing that could finally take his mind of Gerard? He was being given a second chance. Maybe this time, he could get it right.

----------------------------------