Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Cold Cold Heart
fights and early morning visits...
Another love before my time made your heart sad and blue and so my heart is paying now for things i didn't do *Patrick story*
?Blocked
"Fine you know what if that's the attitude you have then just don't come over at all why even bother?"
He sighed and then he spoke sounding exhausted
"Kamil stop with the drama please."
I looked at the phone as if it had just sprouted a set of arms. Me? drama? Please
"You know what. Just forget it. I'm not going to hang up now I don't even know why I bother." And with that said I pressed the end button while he was mid yell on the other line and threw my sidekick on the bed in aggravation. He hated when I did that. Honestly I knew it was a horrible thing to do but he could be a stubborn prick sometimes and he deserved it. He deserved every bit of it.
Oh oh oh were so miserable and stunning. Oo oo oo songs for the genuinely cunning
I stopped my pacing and watched as my phone vibrated to the beat of the song alerting me of a new text message. Then it stopped. I looked at it for a few seconds and when it didn't do anything else I commenced my pacing. Stupid boy. I hate that I love him I really do. He's done nothing but drive me crazy since I met him anyway. But that's me. I always have to go for the challenge.
take a look at my girlfriend; she's the only one I've got. Not much of a girlfriend I never seem to get a lot. It’s been some time since we last spoke this is gonna sound like a bad joke
I looked at my phone and just watched it ring. The same verse repeated twice before I grabbed it off the bed and pressed reject.
I then proceeded to walk down the hall and into the kitchen where my room mate was making herself some ramen noodle soup. You gotta love ramen noodle soup... it was 20 cents a packet at Walmart and you could live off of them forever if need be. And being as to how we were 2 college students working full time and going to school full time that is exactly what we did. I placed my sidekick on the counter as I looked in the fridge for something... I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted but when I see it ill know. She was stirring her pot and I was still digging through the fridge when it began to sing again I acted as if I didn't hear it and kept on my search for my un named food item and Ashley just raised an eyebrow at me.
"Your phones-"
"I kno"
"Aren't you gonna-"
"Nope"
"But its-"
"I know"
"He's being a prick again?"
"Yup"
"Good for you"
"I kno" I said as I grabbed an orange and walked over to sit with her at the kitchen table. I peeled my orange and ate it as she ate her soup and we exchanged stories of school and work. It was nice to play catch up even though we lived together I barely saw her. An hour, 2 oranges and countless stories later we both got up from the table. I stretched my hands over my head and again my phone went off.
"What is this like call number 10? Doesn't he get it, your not gonna answer" Ashley says laughing
"More like call 6. And what I think text 13, with-" I looked at the phone for a second
"4 voicemails!" I said in mock excitement. Ashley laughed and said goodnight as she walked to her room. I turned off the kitchen light and walked into the bathroom. Stripping my clothes off as I got into the hot shower and just stood under the stream until the water ran Luke warm. I finished my scrubbing then and everything else so by the time I was finished with everything the water was freezing. I stepped out and wiped myself off threw the clothes I was wearing in the hamper and wrapped a towel around my body before stepping out into the hall and walked to my bedroom. I pushed play on my IHome but I didn't bother turning on the light, I knew where everything was so it defeated the purpose plus I wasn’t in the mood for brightness at the moment. I opened the second drawer to the right on my dresser and pulled out some panties. Put those on then opened the drawer below that one and pulled out the first shirt I felt. I put it over my shoulders and I groaned inwardly as his smell filled my nostrils. I WOULD pick his shirt out. He'd left it here god knows when and I'd washed it but it never lost that smell. I was walking towards my bed and suddenly I got a chill. I shuddered lightly and Last Request by Paolo Nutini began to play from my ipod. I looked over to the darkest corner of my room and got the same chill again.
"How'd you get in?" I spoke into the darkness softly
A figure stepped out of the corner towards the slight light of the window and opened its palm to reveal a familiar set of keys.
MY keys.
"You left them at my house" his voice sent another set of shivers down my spine.
"Why are you here?"
"You hung up and me! Then you didn't answer my calls" he said mater of factly as he stepped closer to me
"So you drive 30 minutes to my house from Glenview at 2am?"
"It was more like 20, there was no traffic and I was speeding"
"That's so beside the point Patrick, what do you want?"
"I couldn't let you have the last word. You ALWAYS have to have the last word. I was pissed and I came here to tell you I was pissed but then you walked in here naked... getting dressed in the dark and I sorta forgot why I was here. By the way why are you always in the dark?" he said slipping his hands around my waste
"Dark places for dark deeds Mr. Stumph"
"Mmm I love the way you say my name" he said coming down an inch to kiss my lips.
I kissed him back and the I remembered that I was mad at him. I pushed him away and he looked a little disoriented from the sudden departure of my lips from his and he looked at me
"Your testosterone might have taken over your rage but I'm still pissed at you Patrick"
He let out a deep breath and his shoulders slouched slightly.
"You misunderstood me Kamil"
I rolled my eyes
"Of course. Because I'm a drama queen and all."
"Kamil please" he said exasperated
"I didn't mean it like that please just-" he plopped down on the bed heavily. And I just looked at him. This whatever it was between me and him didn't seem worth it today. "Slow down, lie down, remember its just you and me. Don't sell out bow out remember how this used to be. I just want you closer. Is that alright? Baby lets get closer tonight. Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders. Lay down beside me"
"Singing to me won't fix this"
"I know" he said throwing himself back on the bed.
"You can't just pencil me in whenever its convenient for you like I'm some kind of chore or a fucking dentist appointment. If that's what this has become for you than I don't even know why I'm still here."
"Kamil you are not a chore" he had his upper half lying on the bed. His eyes were closed while his feet were over the side of the bed on the floor.
"Well that's how you treat me. Like your doing me some kind of service by giving me some of your time like I'm some kind of charity case."
"I'm here aren't I?"
"Are you? Sometimes I wonder if you are. It’s the fact that you act like you don't really want to be here that upsets me. Honestly if you don't want to be here then there's the door." He shot up from bed and looked at me for a long while before speaking. For a second I thought he would finally come to his senses and realize that he really didn't want to be around me then he would get up and go. But instead he grabbed my hand and pulled me to straddle his lap.
"Listen to me. I want to be here. I love being around you. I do it because I want to not because I have to. I want to make love to you" he kissed my lips.
"I want to kiss you" he kissed my cheek
"I want to touch you" he pushed my hair back and kissed my neck
"Can I do that now?" he asked kissing my lips lightly again. I didn't really answer him instead I pulled him by the shirt closer to me so his lips crashed onto mine. He kissed me with such hunger and passion. He touched me with such care and love. He entered me and it was pure bliss for me. This is what he was made for. Not to please his millions of fans. Not to make records. He was made to be inside of me. To be close to me just like this. His happiness was all over his face as he kissed and touched me. I don't understand why he fights it so much. And that is the root of all our 'problems' the fact that as soon as I get a little close to him he pushes me farther away. Why am I still putting up with him you ask? That's simple, because he loves me. Everyone knows it. He knows it. He just won't admit to his feelings. But in the end it all comes down to the fact that he can't sleep if he knows I'm mad at him. He can't go one day without hearing from me and my opinion is the only one that matters to him. For now that's enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello! its been a while. well this is something i wrote a while ago and since me and Kris are having some technical difficulties with the other stories i figured id give you something until we figure out other things. ummm. i have no clue where its going but let me know what you think.
Besos,
Kamil
He sighed and then he spoke sounding exhausted
"Kamil stop with the drama please."
I looked at the phone as if it had just sprouted a set of arms. Me? drama? Please
"You know what. Just forget it. I'm not going to hang up now I don't even know why I bother." And with that said I pressed the end button while he was mid yell on the other line and threw my sidekick on the bed in aggravation. He hated when I did that. Honestly I knew it was a horrible thing to do but he could be a stubborn prick sometimes and he deserved it. He deserved every bit of it.
Oh oh oh were so miserable and stunning. Oo oo oo songs for the genuinely cunning
I stopped my pacing and watched as my phone vibrated to the beat of the song alerting me of a new text message. Then it stopped. I looked at it for a few seconds and when it didn't do anything else I commenced my pacing. Stupid boy. I hate that I love him I really do. He's done nothing but drive me crazy since I met him anyway. But that's me. I always have to go for the challenge.
take a look at my girlfriend; she's the only one I've got. Not much of a girlfriend I never seem to get a lot. It’s been some time since we last spoke this is gonna sound like a bad joke
I looked at my phone and just watched it ring. The same verse repeated twice before I grabbed it off the bed and pressed reject.
I then proceeded to walk down the hall and into the kitchen where my room mate was making herself some ramen noodle soup. You gotta love ramen noodle soup... it was 20 cents a packet at Walmart and you could live off of them forever if need be. And being as to how we were 2 college students working full time and going to school full time that is exactly what we did. I placed my sidekick on the counter as I looked in the fridge for something... I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted but when I see it ill know. She was stirring her pot and I was still digging through the fridge when it began to sing again I acted as if I didn't hear it and kept on my search for my un named food item and Ashley just raised an eyebrow at me.
"Your phones-"
"I kno"
"Aren't you gonna-"
"Nope"
"But its-"
"I know"
"He's being a prick again?"
"Yup"
"Good for you"
"I kno" I said as I grabbed an orange and walked over to sit with her at the kitchen table. I peeled my orange and ate it as she ate her soup and we exchanged stories of school and work. It was nice to play catch up even though we lived together I barely saw her. An hour, 2 oranges and countless stories later we both got up from the table. I stretched my hands over my head and again my phone went off.
"What is this like call number 10? Doesn't he get it, your not gonna answer" Ashley says laughing
"More like call 6. And what I think text 13, with-" I looked at the phone for a second
"4 voicemails!" I said in mock excitement. Ashley laughed and said goodnight as she walked to her room. I turned off the kitchen light and walked into the bathroom. Stripping my clothes off as I got into the hot shower and just stood under the stream until the water ran Luke warm. I finished my scrubbing then and everything else so by the time I was finished with everything the water was freezing. I stepped out and wiped myself off threw the clothes I was wearing in the hamper and wrapped a towel around my body before stepping out into the hall and walked to my bedroom. I pushed play on my IHome but I didn't bother turning on the light, I knew where everything was so it defeated the purpose plus I wasn’t in the mood for brightness at the moment. I opened the second drawer to the right on my dresser and pulled out some panties. Put those on then opened the drawer below that one and pulled out the first shirt I felt. I put it over my shoulders and I groaned inwardly as his smell filled my nostrils. I WOULD pick his shirt out. He'd left it here god knows when and I'd washed it but it never lost that smell. I was walking towards my bed and suddenly I got a chill. I shuddered lightly and Last Request by Paolo Nutini began to play from my ipod. I looked over to the darkest corner of my room and got the same chill again.
"How'd you get in?" I spoke into the darkness softly
A figure stepped out of the corner towards the slight light of the window and opened its palm to reveal a familiar set of keys.
MY keys.
"You left them at my house" his voice sent another set of shivers down my spine.
"Why are you here?"
"You hung up and me! Then you didn't answer my calls" he said mater of factly as he stepped closer to me
"So you drive 30 minutes to my house from Glenview at 2am?"
"It was more like 20, there was no traffic and I was speeding"
"That's so beside the point Patrick, what do you want?"
"I couldn't let you have the last word. You ALWAYS have to have the last word. I was pissed and I came here to tell you I was pissed but then you walked in here naked... getting dressed in the dark and I sorta forgot why I was here. By the way why are you always in the dark?" he said slipping his hands around my waste
"Dark places for dark deeds Mr. Stumph"
"Mmm I love the way you say my name" he said coming down an inch to kiss my lips.
I kissed him back and the I remembered that I was mad at him. I pushed him away and he looked a little disoriented from the sudden departure of my lips from his and he looked at me
"Your testosterone might have taken over your rage but I'm still pissed at you Patrick"
He let out a deep breath and his shoulders slouched slightly.
"You misunderstood me Kamil"
I rolled my eyes
"Of course. Because I'm a drama queen and all."
"Kamil please" he said exasperated
"I didn't mean it like that please just-" he plopped down on the bed heavily. And I just looked at him. This whatever it was between me and him didn't seem worth it today. "Slow down, lie down, remember its just you and me. Don't sell out bow out remember how this used to be. I just want you closer. Is that alright? Baby lets get closer tonight. Grant my last request and just let me hold you, don't shrug your shoulders. Lay down beside me"
"Singing to me won't fix this"
"I know" he said throwing himself back on the bed.
"You can't just pencil me in whenever its convenient for you like I'm some kind of chore or a fucking dentist appointment. If that's what this has become for you than I don't even know why I'm still here."
"Kamil you are not a chore" he had his upper half lying on the bed. His eyes were closed while his feet were over the side of the bed on the floor.
"Well that's how you treat me. Like your doing me some kind of service by giving me some of your time like I'm some kind of charity case."
"I'm here aren't I?"
"Are you? Sometimes I wonder if you are. It’s the fact that you act like you don't really want to be here that upsets me. Honestly if you don't want to be here then there's the door." He shot up from bed and looked at me for a long while before speaking. For a second I thought he would finally come to his senses and realize that he really didn't want to be around me then he would get up and go. But instead he grabbed my hand and pulled me to straddle his lap.
"Listen to me. I want to be here. I love being around you. I do it because I want to not because I have to. I want to make love to you" he kissed my lips.
"I want to kiss you" he kissed my cheek
"I want to touch you" he pushed my hair back and kissed my neck
"Can I do that now?" he asked kissing my lips lightly again. I didn't really answer him instead I pulled him by the shirt closer to me so his lips crashed onto mine. He kissed me with such hunger and passion. He touched me with such care and love. He entered me and it was pure bliss for me. This is what he was made for. Not to please his millions of fans. Not to make records. He was made to be inside of me. To be close to me just like this. His happiness was all over his face as he kissed and touched me. I don't understand why he fights it so much. And that is the root of all our 'problems' the fact that as soon as I get a little close to him he pushes me farther away. Why am I still putting up with him you ask? That's simple, because he loves me. Everyone knows it. He knows it. He just won't admit to his feelings. But in the end it all comes down to the fact that he can't sleep if he knows I'm mad at him. He can't go one day without hearing from me and my opinion is the only one that matters to him. For now that's enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello! its been a while. well this is something i wrote a while ago and since me and Kris are having some technical difficulties with the other stories i figured id give you something until we figure out other things. ummm. i have no clue where its going but let me know what you think.
Besos,
Kamil
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