Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Cold Cold Heart
I woke up to the sound of a voice speaking in whispers. I
opened my eyes and looked to the corner of the bed a little disconcerted as
Patrick’s naked frame came into focus. His shoulders were slouched a little
forward and he had his head on his hand. He also had an object in that hand and
I realized that it was my sidekick. It took a while to get my brain to focus
but when I did I take in who the voice on the other end belonged to and I began
to clearly understand what Patrick was saying.
“No Pete, this isn’t my imagination again its all clear as day right here on
her phone.”
Patrick pulled his hand away from his head and began to scroll through my
messages.
“DUDE YOU WENT THROUGH HER PHONE.THATS
FUCKING A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF HER PRIVACY MAN!”
Patrick shushed Pete.
“Dude, do you WANT to wake her up? Shut the fuck up. And yes I went through her
phone but only because it kept going off and wait? Why am I explaining myself
to you? Whose side are you on?”
“This isn’t about sides Patrick this is
about getting to the bottom of this. You can’t jump to conclusions Patrick ask
her what it’s all about. What did the messages say?”
Patrick sighed and I then noticed that his shoulders were shaking lightly so
when he spoke his voice cracked. It looked like he was crying but he does also
get like that when he’s very angry and since I couldn’t see his face it was
hard to tell.
“He told her he missed her”
“ok? And?”
“She answered me 2”
“Man I don’t know Pat. I say you ask her
and see what she says maybe you got it all wrong.”
Patrick snorted
“Right Pete. I’m not fucking blind. She doesn’t fucking love me, she never
fucking cared about me, she’s just with me because-“
“Because what Patrick?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was some kind of challenge or some shit, maybe just for the thrills of saying she fucked a ‘rock star’ I don’t know. This just proves it. It proves my theory she’s just like the fucking rest Pete. She never wanted me just the idea of me. Fuck man she’s a good actress I almost-” but he didn’t
finish his sentence he just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Just say it you almost let yourself love her? I don’t know something seems off in this whole thing. There’s just no way shed do this. That guy was a complete douche bag to her”
“I know what I read Pete. You know how it goes. They always go back to the
assholes. They always fuck me over for the asshole. Anyway man I’m going to go
she'll be up soon and I want to get the fuck out of here before she’s
up.”
“Man don’t do that dude talk to her”
“I’ll see you later man”
And with that he hung up on Pete. I was in tears now. I had turned away from
him mid conversation and my tears had soaked into my pillow. I felt the
bed shift and Patrick walked around the bed to my bedside table where he placed
my phone back to charge then walked to the pile of his clothes and began to put
them on. I heard his zipper go up then his belt being done I heard him put his
shirt on and his hoody his hat was on the bedpost he picked it up. With every
article of clothes he put on my heart broke a little more and my tears flowed a
little harder. He slipped back into bed and I froze. Maybe hell actually man up
and ask me. He moved himself against my body and I heard him sigh. He then put
his nose in my hair and took in a deep breath. I always told him this was a bit
creepy but he said he loved the smell of my hair. He ran his right hand down
the side of my body and I heard him sigh. He muttered a string of profanities
and got up from the bed and walked to the door. He was really going to leave
without saying anything. After everything he said yesterday. This upset me
beyond belief and as he had his hand on the knob to leave I spoke up.
"So you’re really just going to coward out and leave?"
He froze and turned to me.
"What?" he tried to play this off
"Don't fucking play dumb Patrick. I heard you talking to Pete."
"How much did you-"
"I fucking heard enough"
"You should have said something you had no right to spy on my
conversation"
"Oh yea sucks when people invade your privacy doesn't it?"
"That's different" he said defensively
"Oh how? Because it was you doing it? That's how it always is with you. Everything’s
A Ok as long as you’re doing it. But had it been me who looked through your shit
you would defiantly be singing a different tune."
"Well yea you'd have no right to look through my phone" he spat out
and his words cut through me like the many knives from my collection.
"Kind of how you have no right to look through mine" I spat back and
he just glared.
"Whatever Kamil; Ill
leave you alone and let you call your precious Juan. Since you guys miss each
other so much" he said bitterly as he turned to the door again.
"You don't know what the fuck you talking about so just stop" he turned
to me with an evil smile then
"Oh so what you’re going to deny that you talked to him now? I'm not
fucking blind I know what I saw"
"No I talked to him your right on that"
"Alright thanks for admitting to me your a two timing bitch. It makes this
all so much easier." He yelled as he stormed out the door. I grabbed my
sidekick from the nightstand and followed him out. He was at the front door
when I caught up with him. I grabbed him by the arm and swung him to face me
causing him to close the door with a slam.
"What? What more do you want from me Kamil? Let me fucking go already you
made a big enough fool of me already" he said in a harsh tone.
"Read the message" I commanded forcefully pushing my sidekick into
his chest.
He gave me a look that said I was crazy
"Well since you know everything Patrick read the fucking message again
enlighten me because I don't see what was so wrong about what I
did."
"Your kidding right?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding"
He looked at me for a second and then he read the message out loud.
"'Msg from7083457867: I miss you babe' see I don't know how this
is"
I cut him off though
"What time was the message received?" I asked he looked at me rolled
his eyes and read off the time
"1:37am"
"Ok now read my message"
He scrolled down and read my message
"Me too what's this suppose to pro-"
But again I cut him off
"And the time on that?"
"1:26am"
I didn't say anything else and he didn't seem to get it at first but then it
clicked in his head and he scrolled back up and down re-reading the messages
his face lost its color and he just stood there frozen. I snatched my phone
back from him and opened the front door.
"That's all." I said leaning against my door. He finally snapped out
of his trance and looked up at me with sad eyes.
"Kamil I-" but I lifted my hand to silence him and pointed to the
open door.
"Babe please" he said walking up and trying to grab hold of me
but I just shook him off
"Just get out" I said trying to keep my tears at bay.
"I-"
"Just go Patrick" he let out a deep sigh and walked out the door. I closed it and leaned back against it sliding to the floor with my head in my hands I cried. This was finally over. And as much as I hoped it would never end his stubbornness and immaturity got the best of him. His living in his past
relationships and he just wouldn't let it go. I dragged myself back into my room and under the covers of my bed. I snuggled into his side and cried some more as his smell surrounded my senses causing everything to just hurt worse. My phone rang a familiar ring and I picked it up not bothering to disguise the fact that I was crying.
"Yea Pete? “
"I'm sorry Sugar." He sighed into the phone
This made me cry harder.
"Did he call you?"
"He called me from his car. He sounds a lot like you do now, I just wish
he'd just listened to me" I sighed
"He's too blinded by stupidity and he's just always going to see what he
wants. He wants me to be cheating then everything in his fucked up head makes sense.
He has it just locked in his head that he isn’t worthy of anyone’s love. Why
can't he just accept the fact that I love him? And I want to be with
him."
"He loves you Kamil. He loves you like he's never loved anyone before. I’ve
never seen him so in love and that scares him."
"You see, but you telling me this isn't enough anymore Kingston. Me knowing it isn't enough anymore.
Nothings enough unless he tells me himself, unless he shows me. Love isn't
enough or worth it if he's not willing to shout it from the rooftops that he
loves me. I'd give my life for him Peter. In a heartbeat I'd give my last
breath if it meant he could take one more. But I can't do this with him
anymore. This is slowly destroying me. I can't do it anymore. I can't handle anymore
rejection from him I love him too much. I just- I need him to love me back"
Pete sighed.
"I really don't know what to tell you sugar. I wish I could just beat some
sense into him or something make him realize what he already knows." I
could see in my head how Pete was probably rubbing his temples at this very
moment. I heard Joes muffled voice come from the other end and Pete chuckled
lightly
"Was that my squishy?" I asked
"Yea. He says hello"
"Aww tell him I said hi and that I love him" suddenly Joes voice grew
louder and I heard some commotion as the phone exchanged hands
"Pete lied I said ill beat Patrick’s ass for being a douche bag and making
my dolly cry"
"Thanks squishy but please don’t fight with him"
"I don't get why you STILL protect him. He's being an ass"
"Regardless I don't want him in pain so promise me you'll leave him alone Joseph."
Joe grumbled that he'd try as Pete snatched the phone back.
"Hey sugar I hate to cut this short but he just pulled into my
driveway"
"Its alright Kingston. Just take care of him for me ok?"
"Yea sugar anything for you ill call you later"
"Bye Pete."
With that the line went dead and I threw my phone on
my side of the bed and snuggled into Patrick’s pillows a little more and
slipped into a restless sleep.
opened my eyes and looked to the corner of the bed a little disconcerted as
Patrick’s naked frame came into focus. His shoulders were slouched a little
forward and he had his head on his hand. He also had an object in that hand and
I realized that it was my sidekick. It took a while to get my brain to focus
but when I did I take in who the voice on the other end belonged to and I began
to clearly understand what Patrick was saying.
“No Pete, this isn’t my imagination again its all clear as day right here on
her phone.”
Patrick pulled his hand away from his head and began to scroll through my
messages.
“DUDE YOU WENT THROUGH HER PHONE.THATS
FUCKING A COMPLETE VIOLATION OF HER PRIVACY MAN!”
Patrick shushed Pete.
“Dude, do you WANT to wake her up? Shut the fuck up. And yes I went through her
phone but only because it kept going off and wait? Why am I explaining myself
to you? Whose side are you on?”
“This isn’t about sides Patrick this is
about getting to the bottom of this. You can’t jump to conclusions Patrick ask
her what it’s all about. What did the messages say?”
Patrick sighed and I then noticed that his shoulders were shaking lightly so
when he spoke his voice cracked. It looked like he was crying but he does also
get like that when he’s very angry and since I couldn’t see his face it was
hard to tell.
“He told her he missed her”
“ok? And?”
“She answered me 2”
“Man I don’t know Pat. I say you ask her
and see what she says maybe you got it all wrong.”
Patrick snorted
“Right Pete. I’m not fucking blind. She doesn’t fucking love me, she never
fucking cared about me, she’s just with me because-“
“Because what Patrick?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was some kind of challenge or some shit, maybe just for the thrills of saying she fucked a ‘rock star’ I don’t know. This just proves it. It proves my theory she’s just like the fucking rest Pete. She never wanted me just the idea of me. Fuck man she’s a good actress I almost-” but he didn’t
finish his sentence he just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Just say it you almost let yourself love her? I don’t know something seems off in this whole thing. There’s just no way shed do this. That guy was a complete douche bag to her”
“I know what I read Pete. You know how it goes. They always go back to the
assholes. They always fuck me over for the asshole. Anyway man I’m going to go
she'll be up soon and I want to get the fuck out of here before she’s
up.”
“Man don’t do that dude talk to her”
“I’ll see you later man”
And with that he hung up on Pete. I was in tears now. I had turned away from
him mid conversation and my tears had soaked into my pillow. I felt the
bed shift and Patrick walked around the bed to my bedside table where he placed
my phone back to charge then walked to the pile of his clothes and began to put
them on. I heard his zipper go up then his belt being done I heard him put his
shirt on and his hoody his hat was on the bedpost he picked it up. With every
article of clothes he put on my heart broke a little more and my tears flowed a
little harder. He slipped back into bed and I froze. Maybe hell actually man up
and ask me. He moved himself against my body and I heard him sigh. He then put
his nose in my hair and took in a deep breath. I always told him this was a bit
creepy but he said he loved the smell of my hair. He ran his right hand down
the side of my body and I heard him sigh. He muttered a string of profanities
and got up from the bed and walked to the door. He was really going to leave
without saying anything. After everything he said yesterday. This upset me
beyond belief and as he had his hand on the knob to leave I spoke up.
"So you’re really just going to coward out and leave?"
He froze and turned to me.
"What?" he tried to play this off
"Don't fucking play dumb Patrick. I heard you talking to Pete."
"How much did you-"
"I fucking heard enough"
"You should have said something you had no right to spy on my
conversation"
"Oh yea sucks when people invade your privacy doesn't it?"
"That's different" he said defensively
"Oh how? Because it was you doing it? That's how it always is with you. Everything’s
A Ok as long as you’re doing it. But had it been me who looked through your shit
you would defiantly be singing a different tune."
"Well yea you'd have no right to look through my phone" he spat out
and his words cut through me like the many knives from my collection.
"Kind of how you have no right to look through mine" I spat back and
he just glared.
"Whatever Kamil; Ill
leave you alone and let you call your precious Juan. Since you guys miss each
other so much" he said bitterly as he turned to the door again.
"You don't know what the fuck you talking about so just stop" he turned
to me with an evil smile then
"Oh so what you’re going to deny that you talked to him now? I'm not
fucking blind I know what I saw"
"No I talked to him your right on that"
"Alright thanks for admitting to me your a two timing bitch. It makes this
all so much easier." He yelled as he stormed out the door. I grabbed my
sidekick from the nightstand and followed him out. He was at the front door
when I caught up with him. I grabbed him by the arm and swung him to face me
causing him to close the door with a slam.
"What? What more do you want from me Kamil? Let me fucking go already you
made a big enough fool of me already" he said in a harsh tone.
"Read the message" I commanded forcefully pushing my sidekick into
his chest.
He gave me a look that said I was crazy
"Well since you know everything Patrick read the fucking message again
enlighten me because I don't see what was so wrong about what I
did."
"Your kidding right?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding"
He looked at me for a second and then he read the message out loud.
"'Msg from7083457867: I miss you babe' see I don't know how this
is"
I cut him off though
"What time was the message received?" I asked he looked at me rolled
his eyes and read off the time
"1:37am"
"Ok now read my message"
He scrolled down and read my message
"Me too what's this suppose to pro-"
But again I cut him off
"And the time on that?"
"1:26am"
I didn't say anything else and he didn't seem to get it at first but then it
clicked in his head and he scrolled back up and down re-reading the messages
his face lost its color and he just stood there frozen. I snatched my phone
back from him and opened the front door.
"That's all." I said leaning against my door. He finally snapped out
of his trance and looked up at me with sad eyes.
"Kamil I-" but I lifted my hand to silence him and pointed to the
open door.
"Babe please" he said walking up and trying to grab hold of me
but I just shook him off
"Just get out" I said trying to keep my tears at bay.
"I-"
"Just go Patrick" he let out a deep sigh and walked out the door. I closed it and leaned back against it sliding to the floor with my head in my hands I cried. This was finally over. And as much as I hoped it would never end his stubbornness and immaturity got the best of him. His living in his past
relationships and he just wouldn't let it go. I dragged myself back into my room and under the covers of my bed. I snuggled into his side and cried some more as his smell surrounded my senses causing everything to just hurt worse. My phone rang a familiar ring and I picked it up not bothering to disguise the fact that I was crying.
"Yea Pete? “
"I'm sorry Sugar." He sighed into the phone
This made me cry harder.
"Did he call you?"
"He called me from his car. He sounds a lot like you do now, I just wish
he'd just listened to me" I sighed
"He's too blinded by stupidity and he's just always going to see what he
wants. He wants me to be cheating then everything in his fucked up head makes sense.
He has it just locked in his head that he isn’t worthy of anyone’s love. Why
can't he just accept the fact that I love him? And I want to be with
him."
"He loves you Kamil. He loves you like he's never loved anyone before. I’ve
never seen him so in love and that scares him."
"You see, but you telling me this isn't enough anymore Kingston. Me knowing it isn't enough anymore.
Nothings enough unless he tells me himself, unless he shows me. Love isn't
enough or worth it if he's not willing to shout it from the rooftops that he
loves me. I'd give my life for him Peter. In a heartbeat I'd give my last
breath if it meant he could take one more. But I can't do this with him
anymore. This is slowly destroying me. I can't do it anymore. I can't handle anymore
rejection from him I love him too much. I just- I need him to love me back"
Pete sighed.
"I really don't know what to tell you sugar. I wish I could just beat some
sense into him or something make him realize what he already knows." I
could see in my head how Pete was probably rubbing his temples at this very
moment. I heard Joes muffled voice come from the other end and Pete chuckled
lightly
"Was that my squishy?" I asked
"Yea. He says hello"
"Aww tell him I said hi and that I love him" suddenly Joes voice grew
louder and I heard some commotion as the phone exchanged hands
"Pete lied I said ill beat Patrick’s ass for being a douche bag and making
my dolly cry"
"Thanks squishy but please don’t fight with him"
"I don't get why you STILL protect him. He's being an ass"
"Regardless I don't want him in pain so promise me you'll leave him alone Joseph."
Joe grumbled that he'd try as Pete snatched the phone back.
"Hey sugar I hate to cut this short but he just pulled into my
driveway"
"Its alright Kingston. Just take care of him for me ok?"
"Yea sugar anything for you ill call you later"
"Bye Pete."
With that the line went dead and I threw my phone on
my side of the bed and snuggled into Patrick’s pillows a little more and
slipped into a restless sleep.
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