Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > But I Can't.
Hey guys, Finch here. I'm starting a new fic.! Woopdy doo! This one is going to be MUCH easier for me to write and I'll tell you why when the time comes. This is probably going to be a short story, I just needed to get the idea out of my head, which means it's probably going to be kind of shitty. So yeah, just sit back, relax, read, and review please! Thanks.
Finch.
EDIT!!!- Yeah, I fixed this chapter up for those of you who have already read it. It's a lot better and all my mistakes are fixed. When I was writing this I was still deciding the characters, and of course I didn't go back and edit it. -_____- So please re-read if you want to! Nothing is really changed except a few odd mistakes! OH and those stupid spaces. x D That's really weird. >___o
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Let's rewind to my first summer at camp. That was two years ago. I was quite the little loner if I do say so myself. I was 12 and was almost completely oblivious to everything. My hair was pretty short, and I just combed it all forward, a normal hairstyle for a 12 year old boy. But everything about me was pretty off when it came to being normal. I wore t-shirts everyday, maybe I'd bring a jacket on some occasions. I wore jeans that I thought looked good, but everyone else thought that they were "too tight", but hey, what did they know? Then I wore either my skateboarding shoes or my red Chuck Taylors. Now there weren't many kids at my camp who skateboarded, so that was kind of weird, but all the "popular" kids had started wearing Converse, so I wasn't that out-of-the-loop. I wasn't completely abnormal from the outside, but hell, I was weird on the inside. My name was Frank Iero, I was born on Halloween, and I wasn't like anyone else at my summer camp. I liked to just sit there and stare off into space, thinking probably. Then when I had made friends with some of the other loner kids(does that make us not loners anymore?) I was considered even more weird. Sure, they were genuine people, but hell, they were really weird, and got annoying pretty fast. And they were all into Magic cards, and to tell you the truth, I really wasn't in the least. But there's more! Not only was I another kid who would go unnoticed, I was bisexual. But seeing as no one knew that it really didn't effect my summer camp experience(until now at least). Besides that I was vegan, which was a pain in the ass for the camp.
The summer camp that I went to was more or less made up of kids who's parents had to work on weekdays and needed to get rid of them early in the morning. I usually arrived around 7 because my mom had to get to work around 8. Some days we would stop at Starbucks and my mom would get me a frappuccino or a mocha. So the camp was only during the weekdays and was usually from 6:30AM-6:30PM. Every week we would go on a "field trip" to somewhere awesome, but every other week we would go camping from Wednesday-Friday. Back then things were so simple. I was the favorite of one of the camp leaders, her name was Antoinette. Everyone loved her and she really only favored me because I wasn't just another stuck-up brat. As I grew older though, that bond slowly broke apart, but I'll get to that later. My older brother also went to the camp. My older brother was a pretty big ass-hole to me in front of people, but he stood up for me whenever he had to. Sometimes I really liked having him there, others I really didn't. His name was Theodore, but everyone called him Theo. He was one of those really cool guys that everyone liked right when they met him. I envied that for as long as I could remember. He was two and half years older than me so none of his friends were my friends, at least not for a while. My brother was the only one that knew that I was bisexual, and he had promised not to say anything to my parents or anyone at camp. I could never thank him enough for keeping that secret for as long as he could, but again, that'll come later in the story. I had my eye on one girl when I was that age. She was really cute and I was incredibly drawn to her. She was a year younger than me, but I really didn't care that much. Her name was Jessi.
Jessi was a pretty hyper chick. She had long, straight brown hair that was fringed over her eyes. We talked a few times, but for the first year that I knew her she just seemed kinda like... too good for me I guess. Shit. A lot has changed since two years ago. And I mean a lot. By the end of my first summer I knew a little bit about everyone that went there. From all the little kids, to the oldest kids we had there. But that's still not to say that I wasn't a loser. But I did feel good about being different than everyone. By the second summer I had grown up a lot. I had longer hair that reached my cheek bone and I was overall more attractive than I had previously been. My first day of summer camp that summer I walked into the room with Theo. There was only two people in the room. Some chick standing by counter. She had hair that was a lot longer than mine. She was blond and had a dirty look in her eyes. Then there was a boy sitting on the counter by her. I was honestly scared shitless upon entering. Theo walked over to the boy sitting on the counter and started talking like they knew each other, which apparently they did. I sat some distance away from them all on the counter and looked to my side, subtly glaring at them all. Theo looked over at me and smiled,
"Frankie! You know that bomb threat that happened at our school? This is the guy that did it!" He fucking knew everybody.
I smiled a little and waved at him. I was immediately attracted to him for some reason after that. Not that it would matter though, I was pretty sure that he was straight. I always kind of like the bad boy type, that would be a definite downfall for me eventually. So that summer he ended up kind of slowly talking to me. He would always try to brag about being sent to Juvie for the whole bomb thing and how he didn't go to my school anymore because he went to a school for "bad kids" or whatever. It used to be called School 72, but they changed it to a stupid name to make it sound less "harsh". The girl that was sitting by the counter had been sent to Juvie too, and was going to School 72 for the next school year too. She was at the camp for part of the sentence she was given. The boy that I had seemingly fallen for looked pretty nice on the surface, he was pretty eyes and wavy brown hair. His name was Matt. The girl that I would strongly befriend, the one that was there on the first day with Matt, her name was Marie. I also made another friend that year, his name was Conner. Conner had hated me the year before but we found that we had a lot in common actually. Conner became one of my best and most trusted friends that summer.
Matt turned out to have a thing for me I guess, but he also had a thing for three girls there too. Theo tried to warn me about him but I didn't want to listen to him. It was one of those "it's my life I do what I want" scenarios. On one of the first weeks that I knew him he wanted to show me some of his drawings. To say the least, he was a good drawer. He liked to do graffiti art on paper but he also did a lot of still life stuff. I watched him draw almost everyday, sometimes he would draw me things, but it was usually just little hears and words and animals. I thought they were all really cute though. By the end of the week he told me that he wanted to draw me something. I sat next to him on the couch in the room that we were in, humming along to the song on the radio that was always playing. I stopped humming to look over my his shoulder at what he was drawing. He turned to me so our faces were incredibly close,
"You stopped humming." He said in a sad sort of tone.
"Yeah?" I asked, as if wondering what was wrong with it.
"I liked it..." He told me with a cute little smile.
Damn I was falling for him back then.
He gave me the drawing right before he left. It was my name in blue, green and black. I looked at it closely and smiled in wonder. It really was something spectacular. He left the room and simply waved at me, no hug, no words, just a wave. So I sat there for about five minutes, just examining the picture and smiling to myself. Stuff like that really was a mystery to me back then. Little did I know that people were so good at pretending. It was almost time for me to leave when I walked over to the shelves by the door to grab my things. All of a sudden the door opened again. I looked up to see Matt standing in the door,
"Hey, uh, Frankie? Can I see that drawing I did again?" He asked gently.
"Uhm... sure." I said shyly handing it over to him.
He took it from my hand and ran over to the table and wrote something on the back. I sat there in the same spot, watching him closely. He ran out the door quickly, again, without a goodbye. I didn't make much of it because I was too distracted by what was written on the back. There was a lot of black bleeding through from the picture on the front so it was hard to read some of it.
"Find the hidden message." I read at first.
Through a little bit of searching and some squinting I found his message.
"It's not anything else that matters, it's personality. I love you." Who would have known that the tough guy actually had that much of a thing for me? What did he even see in me? Whatever it was it really made me think that I was in love with him. Oh but that was a while ago. I'm better off now I suppose. A lot smarter.
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Yes, yes! I know, Gerard hasn't come in yet. But don't be fooled! He will be a giant part in this story. He'll piss you off, but he'll make you smile. : ) So please review this story and tell me what you think of this "Matt" character.
lovelovelove
Finch.
Finch.
EDIT!!!- Yeah, I fixed this chapter up for those of you who have already read it. It's a lot better and all my mistakes are fixed. When I was writing this I was still deciding the characters, and of course I didn't go back and edit it. -_____- So please re-read if you want to! Nothing is really changed except a few odd mistakes! OH and those stupid spaces. x D That's really weird. >___o
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Let's rewind to my first summer at camp. That was two years ago. I was quite the little loner if I do say so myself. I was 12 and was almost completely oblivious to everything. My hair was pretty short, and I just combed it all forward, a normal hairstyle for a 12 year old boy. But everything about me was pretty off when it came to being normal. I wore t-shirts everyday, maybe I'd bring a jacket on some occasions. I wore jeans that I thought looked good, but everyone else thought that they were "too tight", but hey, what did they know? Then I wore either my skateboarding shoes or my red Chuck Taylors. Now there weren't many kids at my camp who skateboarded, so that was kind of weird, but all the "popular" kids had started wearing Converse, so I wasn't that out-of-the-loop. I wasn't completely abnormal from the outside, but hell, I was weird on the inside. My name was Frank Iero, I was born on Halloween, and I wasn't like anyone else at my summer camp. I liked to just sit there and stare off into space, thinking probably. Then when I had made friends with some of the other loner kids(does that make us not loners anymore?) I was considered even more weird. Sure, they were genuine people, but hell, they were really weird, and got annoying pretty fast. And they were all into Magic cards, and to tell you the truth, I really wasn't in the least. But there's more! Not only was I another kid who would go unnoticed, I was bisexual. But seeing as no one knew that it really didn't effect my summer camp experience(until now at least). Besides that I was vegan, which was a pain in the ass for the camp.
The summer camp that I went to was more or less made up of kids who's parents had to work on weekdays and needed to get rid of them early in the morning. I usually arrived around 7 because my mom had to get to work around 8. Some days we would stop at Starbucks and my mom would get me a frappuccino or a mocha. So the camp was only during the weekdays and was usually from 6:30AM-6:30PM. Every week we would go on a "field trip" to somewhere awesome, but every other week we would go camping from Wednesday-Friday. Back then things were so simple. I was the favorite of one of the camp leaders, her name was Antoinette. Everyone loved her and she really only favored me because I wasn't just another stuck-up brat. As I grew older though, that bond slowly broke apart, but I'll get to that later. My older brother also went to the camp. My older brother was a pretty big ass-hole to me in front of people, but he stood up for me whenever he had to. Sometimes I really liked having him there, others I really didn't. His name was Theodore, but everyone called him Theo. He was one of those really cool guys that everyone liked right when they met him. I envied that for as long as I could remember. He was two and half years older than me so none of his friends were my friends, at least not for a while. My brother was the only one that knew that I was bisexual, and he had promised not to say anything to my parents or anyone at camp. I could never thank him enough for keeping that secret for as long as he could, but again, that'll come later in the story. I had my eye on one girl when I was that age. She was really cute and I was incredibly drawn to her. She was a year younger than me, but I really didn't care that much. Her name was Jessi.
Jessi was a pretty hyper chick. She had long, straight brown hair that was fringed over her eyes. We talked a few times, but for the first year that I knew her she just seemed kinda like... too good for me I guess. Shit. A lot has changed since two years ago. And I mean a lot. By the end of my first summer I knew a little bit about everyone that went there. From all the little kids, to the oldest kids we had there. But that's still not to say that I wasn't a loser. But I did feel good about being different than everyone. By the second summer I had grown up a lot. I had longer hair that reached my cheek bone and I was overall more attractive than I had previously been. My first day of summer camp that summer I walked into the room with Theo. There was only two people in the room. Some chick standing by counter. She had hair that was a lot longer than mine. She was blond and had a dirty look in her eyes. Then there was a boy sitting on the counter by her. I was honestly scared shitless upon entering. Theo walked over to the boy sitting on the counter and started talking like they knew each other, which apparently they did. I sat some distance away from them all on the counter and looked to my side, subtly glaring at them all. Theo looked over at me and smiled,
"Frankie! You know that bomb threat that happened at our school? This is the guy that did it!" He fucking knew everybody.
I smiled a little and waved at him. I was immediately attracted to him for some reason after that. Not that it would matter though, I was pretty sure that he was straight. I always kind of like the bad boy type, that would be a definite downfall for me eventually. So that summer he ended up kind of slowly talking to me. He would always try to brag about being sent to Juvie for the whole bomb thing and how he didn't go to my school anymore because he went to a school for "bad kids" or whatever. It used to be called School 72, but they changed it to a stupid name to make it sound less "harsh". The girl that was sitting by the counter had been sent to Juvie too, and was going to School 72 for the next school year too. She was at the camp for part of the sentence she was given. The boy that I had seemingly fallen for looked pretty nice on the surface, he was pretty eyes and wavy brown hair. His name was Matt. The girl that I would strongly befriend, the one that was there on the first day with Matt, her name was Marie. I also made another friend that year, his name was Conner. Conner had hated me the year before but we found that we had a lot in common actually. Conner became one of my best and most trusted friends that summer.
Matt turned out to have a thing for me I guess, but he also had a thing for three girls there too. Theo tried to warn me about him but I didn't want to listen to him. It was one of those "it's my life I do what I want" scenarios. On one of the first weeks that I knew him he wanted to show me some of his drawings. To say the least, he was a good drawer. He liked to do graffiti art on paper but he also did a lot of still life stuff. I watched him draw almost everyday, sometimes he would draw me things, but it was usually just little hears and words and animals. I thought they were all really cute though. By the end of the week he told me that he wanted to draw me something. I sat next to him on the couch in the room that we were in, humming along to the song on the radio that was always playing. I stopped humming to look over my his shoulder at what he was drawing. He turned to me so our faces were incredibly close,
"You stopped humming." He said in a sad sort of tone.
"Yeah?" I asked, as if wondering what was wrong with it.
"I liked it..." He told me with a cute little smile.
Damn I was falling for him back then.
He gave me the drawing right before he left. It was my name in blue, green and black. I looked at it closely and smiled in wonder. It really was something spectacular. He left the room and simply waved at me, no hug, no words, just a wave. So I sat there for about five minutes, just examining the picture and smiling to myself. Stuff like that really was a mystery to me back then. Little did I know that people were so good at pretending. It was almost time for me to leave when I walked over to the shelves by the door to grab my things. All of a sudden the door opened again. I looked up to see Matt standing in the door,
"Hey, uh, Frankie? Can I see that drawing I did again?" He asked gently.
"Uhm... sure." I said shyly handing it over to him.
He took it from my hand and ran over to the table and wrote something on the back. I sat there in the same spot, watching him closely. He ran out the door quickly, again, without a goodbye. I didn't make much of it because I was too distracted by what was written on the back. There was a lot of black bleeding through from the picture on the front so it was hard to read some of it.
"Find the hidden message." I read at first.
Through a little bit of searching and some squinting I found his message.
"It's not anything else that matters, it's personality. I love you." Who would have known that the tough guy actually had that much of a thing for me? What did he even see in me? Whatever it was it really made me think that I was in love with him. Oh but that was a while ago. I'm better off now I suppose. A lot smarter.
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Yes, yes! I know, Gerard hasn't come in yet. But don't be fooled! He will be a giant part in this story. He'll piss you off, but he'll make you smile. : ) So please review this story and tell me what you think of this "Matt" character.
lovelovelove
Finch.
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