Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > But I Can't.
GOSH! I didn't know you guys would like this one that much! x D Thanks for the reviews and stuff! This chapter will wrap up the whole "Matt" thing, so just in case you were worried about that, don't worry! : ) Ferard is soon to come!
Finch
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I didn't see Matt for a week after that, but that's only because I wasn't at camp that week. But there sure was a lot that went on the next few weeks. For starters we had a camping trip the next week and I was planning on spending a lpt of time with him. It rained most of the time we were there, and it was pretty miserable, but it didn't exactly get me down as much as you'd think. The only thing that I had been thinking about was Matt and how much I wanted to be with him. Seeing as everyone still thought Matt and I were two straight guys we had to be secretive of when we did anything together. Mostly I just sat next to him and secretly held his hand or leaned on him and acted like it was nothing. Everyone just thought that we were really close friends, and everything went fine for a while. One of the nights that we spent at camp I was utterly tired and ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. I gradually started to fall in towards him and I ended up resting in the crook of his neck. His hand rested on my leg underneath a blanket that we had, and no one thought anything of it for a while. The next morning was a nightmare. I had been getting weird stares all day and I was completely clueless. Conner, being the great friend that he was, filled me in that people thought that I was coming onto Matt and that I was gay. At that very moment I couldn't speak. I couldn't even open my mouth. I just started at him. I guess no one thought Matt was gay and they only thought that I was.
So eventually people got over the fact that I was bisexual. Well... not everyone. There were still a lot of kids, younger and older, that would completely ignore me there. More or less I felt like shit most of the time. Matt still ever gave up on me though. He would be so secretive about it too, no one ever saw a thing. One of the camping trips we went on he invited me to watch a movie on his cot while everyone was eating lunch at the campfire. He snuggled in close to me on the little cot and put his arm around me. Since he was about a two years older than me(and I was a little midget) he was considerably bigger than me. We watched some movie that I couldn't even pay attention to, mostly because he was kissing my cheek and feeding me candy the whole time. Who would have known that this Matt kid was bisexual? Nothing mattered to me at that moment though. That night I found my way over to his tent. Since we were both boys there was no problem with being separated. I laid next to him and we stared up at the top of the tent. His arm was underneath my head and perched my view slightly up. His finger ran up and down my neck, tickling the small hairs. Just when I thought that everything was cool and I was totally lot in the moment Marie opened up the tent. She just smiled like a bitch and laid down next to Matt on his other side.
Before I even know what's happening he's flipped over on top of that slut and making out with her. Before I could even comprehend what was happening I decided to run out of the tent and back to my own. I rustled into my sleeping bag and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I cried a little before finally giving up and just reading with my flashlight until the morning. The next day I ignored Matt completely and tried to go on without thinking about him. I had a few long conversations with him about how I would never trust him again, but I was still hurt severely for who knows how long. I found a few shards of glass in the ashes of the campfire, sharp enough to cut through my flesh. When everyone was sitting around the campfire eating breakfast, I was off in the trees making deep cuts in my arm. Since it was a rather cold summer I was able to cover up my wounds with jackets, or at least lie about them for a while until they healed. So I went on for the rest of the summer, miserably watching Matt run off with every single chick at the camp and not even turn to remember me. I was heartbroken for a while, and man, did I feel stupid about it afterwards. Not only had I trusted some douche bag I had met not that long ago, but I had fallen so hard for him so easily.
There was a lot of irrelevant people at the camp, not that I wouldn't remember them, but they just aren't important in this part of the story. But there is one relevant person that I had never noticed that much until this summer. His name was Gerard. If anything he was the only person at the camp that was similar to me in more than a few way. He wore tight pants like me, he wore skate shoes like me, and he even had the long hair like me. But the only thing was he worked there. Not only did he work there, but the whole two years that I had known him he always seemed to cool to be friends with some kid like me. There was always something in the back of my mind that told me that I liked him. I used to talk to him every so often, and once I even borrowed his jacket at the beach because I was cold. Sometimes I would lay in the grass next to him during lunch time and we would talk and stuff. One time he even asked me how old I was. He was 16 at the time and I was 13. When I told him how old I was he was a little surprised,
"Really?! Wow Frankie! I thought you were like, 15." He told me, sitting up.
I think the fact that I was that young made him a little uneasy about talking to me. I always wondered what was up with him though. It was weird that it never really hit me until one day when I signed onto my myspace. It said that I had new messages, and I had about five. I read through all of them and replied until I got to the last one. I remember adding Gerard the first summer that I met him, but we had never really talked on myspace. There was no subject and I could have never guessed what the hell the message was about.
"hey frankie"
I immediately noticed his illiteracy. It kind of bothered me but I couldn't complain, I was intrigued. I read on,
"can i ask you something?"
I still had no idea what he could have wanted from me. I replied with a simple answer,
"Sure, I don't mind." I wished he would notice my correct typing.
I didn't get a reply that day. Since the messages went on during the school year I hadn't seen him in a few months. I still remember his hair, his face, his eyes, his perfect disposition at the camp. There was no doubt that all the little 10 year olds had the biggest crush on him, and for some reason, it really bugged me. Now you're probably thinking, 'Well you should have figured it out by then, Frankie.' But may I remind you, I was a stupid kid back then. Heh. Back then, it was only a year ago. During the school year I was incredibly sulky about the whole Matt thing, but I didn't dare say anything about him to my friends, not that they would care that much anyways. Sure my friends were alrgiht most of the time, but I knew that they would never understand. They would only give me shit about how I shouldn't have liked a guy like that and blah blah blah. Sometimes people would mention him, he was, after all, one of the most well known pranksters in the history of my middle school.
Everyday that I didn't get a reply I would sit in class and think about it. It was really all I could think about besides Matt. So not only was I thinking about two BOYS the whole time but I was thinking about how much I was really hating yet missing one, and wondering what I felt for the other. Anyways, I waited patiently for him to reply. One day I finally got the message back from him. It was probably only a few days that I waited for it, but it seemed like forever.
"frankie, i wanted to ask you this, and your brother said it was okay but i still felt weird about it, but do you think im hot?"
At that moment I was frozen at the keyboard. There was pretty much nothing and everything running through my mind at the same time.
----------
Muhahahahah! Enter Gerard! : ) Yupp. From here things move a little slower, but that's because this is the part of the story that Frank actually cares about. : o Please review review review!
lovelovelove
FINCH.
Finch
----------
I didn't see Matt for a week after that, but that's only because I wasn't at camp that week. But there sure was a lot that went on the next few weeks. For starters we had a camping trip the next week and I was planning on spending a lpt of time with him. It rained most of the time we were there, and it was pretty miserable, but it didn't exactly get me down as much as you'd think. The only thing that I had been thinking about was Matt and how much I wanted to be with him. Seeing as everyone still thought Matt and I were two straight guys we had to be secretive of when we did anything together. Mostly I just sat next to him and secretly held his hand or leaned on him and acted like it was nothing. Everyone just thought that we were really close friends, and everything went fine for a while. One of the nights that we spent at camp I was utterly tired and ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. I gradually started to fall in towards him and I ended up resting in the crook of his neck. His hand rested on my leg underneath a blanket that we had, and no one thought anything of it for a while. The next morning was a nightmare. I had been getting weird stares all day and I was completely clueless. Conner, being the great friend that he was, filled me in that people thought that I was coming onto Matt and that I was gay. At that very moment I couldn't speak. I couldn't even open my mouth. I just started at him. I guess no one thought Matt was gay and they only thought that I was.
So eventually people got over the fact that I was bisexual. Well... not everyone. There were still a lot of kids, younger and older, that would completely ignore me there. More or less I felt like shit most of the time. Matt still ever gave up on me though. He would be so secretive about it too, no one ever saw a thing. One of the camping trips we went on he invited me to watch a movie on his cot while everyone was eating lunch at the campfire. He snuggled in close to me on the little cot and put his arm around me. Since he was about a two years older than me(and I was a little midget) he was considerably bigger than me. We watched some movie that I couldn't even pay attention to, mostly because he was kissing my cheek and feeding me candy the whole time. Who would have known that this Matt kid was bisexual? Nothing mattered to me at that moment though. That night I found my way over to his tent. Since we were both boys there was no problem with being separated. I laid next to him and we stared up at the top of the tent. His arm was underneath my head and perched my view slightly up. His finger ran up and down my neck, tickling the small hairs. Just when I thought that everything was cool and I was totally lot in the moment Marie opened up the tent. She just smiled like a bitch and laid down next to Matt on his other side.
Before I even know what's happening he's flipped over on top of that slut and making out with her. Before I could even comprehend what was happening I decided to run out of the tent and back to my own. I rustled into my sleeping bag and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I cried a little before finally giving up and just reading with my flashlight until the morning. The next day I ignored Matt completely and tried to go on without thinking about him. I had a few long conversations with him about how I would never trust him again, but I was still hurt severely for who knows how long. I found a few shards of glass in the ashes of the campfire, sharp enough to cut through my flesh. When everyone was sitting around the campfire eating breakfast, I was off in the trees making deep cuts in my arm. Since it was a rather cold summer I was able to cover up my wounds with jackets, or at least lie about them for a while until they healed. So I went on for the rest of the summer, miserably watching Matt run off with every single chick at the camp and not even turn to remember me. I was heartbroken for a while, and man, did I feel stupid about it afterwards. Not only had I trusted some douche bag I had met not that long ago, but I had fallen so hard for him so easily.
There was a lot of irrelevant people at the camp, not that I wouldn't remember them, but they just aren't important in this part of the story. But there is one relevant person that I had never noticed that much until this summer. His name was Gerard. If anything he was the only person at the camp that was similar to me in more than a few way. He wore tight pants like me, he wore skate shoes like me, and he even had the long hair like me. But the only thing was he worked there. Not only did he work there, but the whole two years that I had known him he always seemed to cool to be friends with some kid like me. There was always something in the back of my mind that told me that I liked him. I used to talk to him every so often, and once I even borrowed his jacket at the beach because I was cold. Sometimes I would lay in the grass next to him during lunch time and we would talk and stuff. One time he even asked me how old I was. He was 16 at the time and I was 13. When I told him how old I was he was a little surprised,
"Really?! Wow Frankie! I thought you were like, 15." He told me, sitting up.
I think the fact that I was that young made him a little uneasy about talking to me. I always wondered what was up with him though. It was weird that it never really hit me until one day when I signed onto my myspace. It said that I had new messages, and I had about five. I read through all of them and replied until I got to the last one. I remember adding Gerard the first summer that I met him, but we had never really talked on myspace. There was no subject and I could have never guessed what the hell the message was about.
"hey frankie"
I immediately noticed his illiteracy. It kind of bothered me but I couldn't complain, I was intrigued. I read on,
"can i ask you something?"
I still had no idea what he could have wanted from me. I replied with a simple answer,
"Sure, I don't mind." I wished he would notice my correct typing.
I didn't get a reply that day. Since the messages went on during the school year I hadn't seen him in a few months. I still remember his hair, his face, his eyes, his perfect disposition at the camp. There was no doubt that all the little 10 year olds had the biggest crush on him, and for some reason, it really bugged me. Now you're probably thinking, 'Well you should have figured it out by then, Frankie.' But may I remind you, I was a stupid kid back then. Heh. Back then, it was only a year ago. During the school year I was incredibly sulky about the whole Matt thing, but I didn't dare say anything about him to my friends, not that they would care that much anyways. Sure my friends were alrgiht most of the time, but I knew that they would never understand. They would only give me shit about how I shouldn't have liked a guy like that and blah blah blah. Sometimes people would mention him, he was, after all, one of the most well known pranksters in the history of my middle school.
Everyday that I didn't get a reply I would sit in class and think about it. It was really all I could think about besides Matt. So not only was I thinking about two BOYS the whole time but I was thinking about how much I was really hating yet missing one, and wondering what I felt for the other. Anyways, I waited patiently for him to reply. One day I finally got the message back from him. It was probably only a few days that I waited for it, but it seemed like forever.
"frankie, i wanted to ask you this, and your brother said it was okay but i still felt weird about it, but do you think im hot?"
At that moment I was frozen at the keyboard. There was pretty much nothing and everything running through my mind at the same time.
----------
Muhahahahah! Enter Gerard! : ) Yupp. From here things move a little slower, but that's because this is the part of the story that Frank actually cares about. : o Please review review review!
lovelovelove
FINCH.
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