FicWad

Waking up this morning was a bitch and a half.
It felt strange to be back.
(I skipped last week).

I zone out like I always do.
Yet sitting there,
In the pew,
Ma close by,
I couldn't help but feel
Like an outsider.

Like I'm not supposed to be there.
I look around
And I thought to myself

"These people know what they're doing.
No doubts,
No exceptions.
Solid
And
Secure."

So why can't I feel that way too?


When I got home
About three hours later,
I remembered the "old" me.

She's dead.
Never to come back.
You know exactly what'll happen to you if you let her too.

And I'm frightened out my goddamned mind.

I realize,
I have no fucking clue who I am.
I have no fucking clue where I'm going.
No fucking clue of what's gonna happen to me when I figure out where I'm going.
I'm sorry.
If I fifgure out where I'm going.

All I basically know is
I have to keep this up.

And another thing,
I have no fucking clue how.