Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Secrets We Keep...

Chapter 8

by flawedrainbow 2 reviews

-Holly- R&R!!

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2008-10-06 - Updated: 2008-10-07 - 3261 words

-Holly’s P.O.V.-

I didn’t feel well this morning. I was throwing up a lot, and Patrick stared freaking out, while Pete was just being an ass and sitting on the couch. There was a knock, and Pete refused to get it, so Patrick ran downstairs, and when he returned, Evie was with him. She handed me a bottle of water and I took a sip and rinsed my mouth out before taking a drink.

“Thanks.” I groaned.

“No problem. Come on, let’s get you to bed. I don’t think you could handle school right now.” She said, taking me to my room. I changed into a pair of pajama pants and one of Bill’s shirts that I kept around for when I missed him. It was a bit baggy, which is surprising, considering he can fit into my jeans pretty well, but still. I crawled into bed and Evie told me that she’d be downstairs if I needed her. I basically past out right there. What only felt like minutes later, I heard the soft plucking of my lullaby on a guitar. I smiled to myself. Evie had made that song for me when I got her the guitar, and she would play it whenever I was upset.

“Evie?” I asked, making sure it was her and not Patrick.

“Yeah?” When she stopped playing, I almost cried.

“Mhmm, keep playing.” She smiled and I dropped my head back onto the pillow, which smelt like William and my shampoo…it was an interesting scent. Not bad, but interesting.

I woke up hours later, as school should’ve let out. Evie was still playing the guitar softer. She looked up as I sat up in bed.

“Hey there sleepy head.” She smiled.

“Hi.” I said. “I feel better.”

“I bet. You look well rested.” Evie laughed, and put down the guitar.

“I’ll look better after I shower.” I told her, throwing off my covers and going into the bathroom. I took a fairly quick shower and brushed my teeth again and rinsed it twice. I got dressed and Evie came and watched me do my makeup. “Do you want to hang out with us this afternoon? Bill invited us to band practice again.”

“Oh no, it’s ok. I’m actually gonna hang out with Ryan.” She said. I was a little put off by that. Why all of a sudden would she hang out with one of the best friends of the guy who got me pregnant?

“Oh, that’s cool.” I finished up my eyeliner and put the cap back on the stick.

“Yeah. Well, it’s almost 3pm; Ryan’s picking me up from here.” She said.

“Alright, I’ll come downstairs with you. Bill’s picking me up too.” I said, following her downstairs. I grabbed my purse and we went outside, where the guys were having a conversation through the open windows of their cars.

“Hey!” Evie and I said. She gave me a hug and waved to Bill before getting in Ryan’s car and they pulled out of the driveway. I got in Bill’s car and he smiled at me.

“Hey.” He leaned over and kissed me, and went to pull away, but I pulled him back. I felt him laugh and his hands go in my hair. “Mm, babe, we gotta go, I’m late as it is.”

“Okay. I just wanted a really good kiss.” He laughed and put his arm around me as I buckled in and backed out of the driveway.

“So, should we tell the guys? I mean, about the baby?” Bill asked. “I think they’ll know when you start to show.”

“I guess. I mean, my parents don’t even know.” I said. “Do yours?”

“Not really.” He said. “I’ve dropped hints here and there, but I haven’t told them yet. I didn’t want to until you told you parents.”

“Thank you.” I kissed his cheek. “As for the guys, they should know they’re going to be uncles.” He smiled at me and pulled into Mike’s driveway. We decided to tell them after practice, so they could focus.

“Someone’s new. I can feel it.” I said as I stepped into the garage.

“Oh, this is Michael. He’s a friend of a friend and he’s auditioning for us today.” Sisky told me.

“What happened with Tom?” I asked. I was waaaay out of the loop.

“He wasn’t really helping out in anything, so we decided to kinda gently nudge him out of the band.” Butcher said. He was such a sweetheart. He never wanted anyone to feel bad, or hurt, and always put things as kind as possible.

“Oh. Well, hi, I’m Holly.” I said, sticking my hand out for Michael to shake.

“Hi.” He said. WOAH! Accent alert! “And we’re going to have to shake with our other hands. I busted one of my fingers on a box cutter, and it kinda hurts when people shake that hand.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I switched my hand and we shook. “Cool accent. Are you Australian?”

“Yeah!” His face lit up. “Usually people think I’m English, but I’m one hundred percent Aussie.”

“Well, you’ve just made one more American friend, good sir!” I said.

“Sweetie, you wanna take a seat on the couch so we can get started?” Bill came by and put his arm around my shoulder. I was used to this. He was never possessive or controlling, but just showed other guys I was his girl, and wasn’t going anywhere. He led me over to the couch and I sat down and watched as they talked to Michael and gave him a few kind words. They started playing and Michael was insanely awesome. Even with a janked up finger, he totally blew me away, as well as the guys; they all stopped as he played. Then he noticed he was the only one playing and stopped and blushed.

“I’m sorry, was I bad?” He asked.

“No! You were amazing!” Everyone started complimenting him.

“I say he’s in.” Sisky said.

“Me too!” Butcher spoke quickly.

“I third that.” Mike put in.

“And I’m cool with it that just leaves Holly.” Bill turned around and they all looked over at me.

“He’s in!” I shouted. I nodded to Bill, and he smiled.

“Okay, not to totally overshadow Michael getting in the band and all, but Holly and I have some news for you.” I stood up and went over by him and took his hand in mine.

“You guys, I’m pregnant. You’re going to be uncles.” I said. I shut my eyes tightly, not wanting to see the disappointed faces. I was scooped up in a giant hug, and so was Bill. Even Michael was in on the hug, although I think that was partly Sisky’s fault. That boy has a wide arm span.

“You guys are going to be great parents. Holly, don’t even worry that you’re too young, I’ve been around you long enough and I know you can be responsible when you have to.” Butcher told me. I smiled as happy tears formed in my eyes.

“Michael, you can totally be an uncle.” I told him. He smiled. “How cool would it be to have an Aussie as an uncle? This kid is pretty friggin blessed, if you ask me!”

“How far along are you?” Mike asked, putting a hand on my stomach.

“Not far enough to have a bump.” I said, pushing his hand away. “I’m only a few weeks.”

“Well, you guys are going to be sooooo happy.” Sisky said. “Are you two gonna get married or what?”

“We don’t know. We might.” Bill said, smiling down at me. “I’ve wanted to put a ring on that pretty little finger of hers for quite some time now.”

“Is that a proposal?” Michael asked jokingly. We laughed.

“Nah, it’s an imply of what could happen.” Bill kissed my cheek. ”We should get going. It’s getting late, and Holly need to sleep better now.”

“Ugh, no more parties!” I whined as Bill handed me my bag. “That suuuuuuucks!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll drink double for you baby!” Mike called as we left. I ran back to hug Michael and the others and went back to Bill and got into the car. I texted Patrick and told him I’d be staying at Bill’s that night and to tell mom. He texted me back and I shut my phone as we pulled into the parking garage of Bill’s apartment building. It wasn’t a crappy little apartment, you’d be surprised. It’s pretty awesome, for the wages he makes, then again, his parents help out somewhat. We got inside and I locked the front door and immediately pulled him to his bedroom. I just needed to be with him. I flopped down on the bed, only to feel him do the same next to me.

“Are you feeling okay sweetie?” He asked, brushing the bangs from my eyes.

“Yeah. I just kinda want you.” I told him. He smiled.

“It won’t hurt the baby.” He told me. Of course, I already knew, I asked the doctor at the appointment. “I looked it up online and found some books at my parent’s house.” I rolled over and snuggled into his arms and kissed him tenderly. It amazed me that he was so committed to this baby, even though it wasn’t his. I kissed him more and soon we ended up doing what got us here in the first place.

After, we laid under the covers, me snuggled up to his warm body and resting my head on his chest, while he toyed with my hair. I tilted my head up and kissed his cheek.

“I love you Holly.” He whispered to me. “I really do.”

“I love you too.” His other hand clasped mine that was lying on his chest. “I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.”

“You have to go.” He told me. “You need to graduate.”

“One more week.” As badly as I wished I could sleep, I couldn’t. To tell the truth, having a baby scared the living shit out of me. I don’t know how Bill and I can do this.

“We’re strong Holly.” He whispered again. Holy shit he’s a mind-reader. “We can do this. The band is sooo much better, and we’re starting to get noticed. I might have to tour a bit here and there to get some money, but I promise to be here for you and the baby.” He kissed my hand and took a deep breath.

“Are you going to love me when I’m huge?”

“I will love you when you’re huge, when you’re small, and when you’re old, wrinkly, and senile, just like me.” I laughed and kissed him. “Do you think you could sleep?”

“Yeah, now that I’m comfy at last.” I said, after settling in his arms. He chuckled and our breathing slowly got deeper and we fell asleep fast.


I woke up alone. I smelled coffee and stretched out underneath the sheets. I got up and got dressed in my uniform that I kept at Bill’s for times like these. He laughed as I jumped into the kitchen, pulling up my knees socks.

“Good morning baby.” He said, kissing me. “And good morning baby.” He bent down and lifted my shirt and sweater and kissed my for-now flat stomach. “Coffee?”

“Yes!” I said.

“Decaf. Regular is bad for baby Beckett.” He poured me a small cup of coffee and smiled.

“Baby Beckett?” I asked.

“Yeah. I figure since there’s no sex as of now, and we don’t have any names, I could call it baby Beckett.” Bill smiled at me wider.

“I like it. Baby Beckett.” He leaned over the island and kissed me. Then he turned back to the stove and put sunny-side up eggs on a plate with toast and bacon. “Housewife much?”

“I just want you eating healthy.” He started eating too and I bit into my toast. I hadn’t had toast in ages, mainly because I’m too lazy to make it, and Patrick always burns it. I’m just hoping that I don’t throw it up later. “You’re going to need some cover-up. You’ve got one too many hickies.” He went into the bathroom and brought out one of my small jars of cover up and put some on his finger and started rubbing it on the spots on my neck.

“You need to stop doing that sir.” I told him. “I understand that you like my neck, and you wish you were a vampire, but the marks are getting a bit ridiculous. He laughed and finished with the cover up, screwing the cap back on and setting it on the counter and washing his hands. We continued eating for a bit in silence.

“Mmm, we gotta go. I have to get you to school.” We put our dishes in the sink and I grabbed my backpack and we headed out the door. We drove to my school and I got out after a few lingering kisses. I waved him off and ran up the steps to my school.

“Hey Holly!” I turned and saw Brendon and Jon walking up. I faked a smile for Jon, although Brendon is pretty cool.

“Hey.” I said, turning to my locker and dialing the combination. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much.” Brendon said. “Have you seen Ryan?”

“Uh, no.” I said, glancing at them. I hated the way Jon looked at me. He knew, and I could tell. “Then again I just got dropped off by Bill.”

“Oh. He might be driving Evie somewhere.” I couldn’t hold my curiosity in.

“What’s with those two hanging out all the time?” I asked bluntly.

“You don’t know?” Brendon asked a bit surprised. “She’s living with him until her parents get back from vacation.” I was totally confused now. Why would she take up an almost-stranger’s offer to stay with them, when she’s known me forever? “Well, uh, I have to go. I’ll see ya later!” Brendon scampered off and I shook my head.

“Holly.” Damn. I had assumed Jon went with him. “Can we talk? Please?”

“Fine.” We went down to the abandoned hallway. No one went down here, not even teachers, so it was safe for us to talk there.

“Holly, are you pregnant? I need to know.”

“Why do you need to know?!” I asked. “If I am, it’s not yours!”

“And how can you be sure? You were oblivious to what was happening!”

“Because, if you must know, I had sex with my boyfriend earlier that day. It could just as easily be his!” I hissed back. “And I’m not pregnant, so stop asking and get out of my life!”

“I can’t just leave that easily!” Jon told me. “Holly, I really like you! I’ve liked you since freshman year! And now my band is friends with Bill’s band, and we’re going to seeing much more of each other.”

“Well, really, I’m flattered!” I said sarcastically. “But drugging me isn’t the way I like to be courted. I’m sorry. I-!” I was cut off by Jon mashing his lips against mine. I pushed him off of me and looked at him in disgust, my stomach churning, but this time, not from the baby. “You’re sick.” I turned and ran down the empty hall to my locker and grabbed my backpack and books and texted Bill to pick me up and bring me to the store. I couldn’t be there anymore.

I went in and sat in the office and when I saw his car pull up, I signed myself out and went out to his car and got in the front seat.

“Are you feeling sick again?” He asked concerned. “Because we can just go to my apartment, I can call someone in.”

“No, you don’t have to. I think the store would be better. Besides, we’ll need the money.” I mumbled. He nodded and pulled into the store and we went in. He picked me up and sat me on the counter, knowing the early morning would be slow.

“Tell me what’s wrong so I can make it better.” He said softly.

“Jon kissed me.” I told him. He went stone solid.

“He what?!” I flinched. Bill doesn’t yell a lot. “I’m sorry baby, he kissed you? When?!”

“This morning. He said he wanted to talk, so I gave him three minutes and he kept bugging me, asking if I was pregnant.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That I’m not, and that if I was, it wouldn’t ever be his baby.” I said. William hugged me tight to him and the shop door opened. Evie came in with a smile on her face that slowly faded.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Jon’s making moves on Holly.” I couldn’t hear his name without the bile rising in my throat.

“I’m going to go and take a nap. I’ll talk to you later Evie.” She hugged me and I hopped down from the counter, received a kiss from Bill, and went to the lesson room, where there was a very big, comfy bean bag chair. I pulled the blanket from underneath and pulled it over me. I fell asleep fast and the dream I had was so real.

I was sitting in Bill’s apartment with a baby on my lap, which looked so much like him, it wasn’t funny. It was a girl, around one or two years old, and she was giggling happily, while playing with a stuffed animal. Bill came in and put his guitar down and sat next to us and took her and kissed her cheek and started talking to her, bouncing her around on his knee and playing with her and her stuffed animal. I smiled as I watched this. Him and his daughter.

“Attack mommy!” He squealed and he picked her up and started tickling me and she joined in, giggling as she attempted to tickle me with her tiny little fingers. Her brownish-red hair was wavy like Bill’s, and was in her face. Bill stopped the attack and kissed me sweetly, before picking up the baby and taking her to the extra room. “Time for a nap, Makayla.” I smiled at the name. He put her down for a nap and came back and sat next to me and started kissing me. The kisses felt uber real, and then I woke up to Bill kissing my neck.

“Hey sleepy.” He smiled when I stretched underneath him. Evie was behind him at the piano. She turned and smiled.

“Were you having a good dream?” She asked. “You were giggling and laughing a lot.”

“Yeah I did.” I proceeded to tell them about it, and Bill stared at me, something in his eye.

“Call the doctor.” He told me. “I want another test done.” Evie and I stared at him bewildered.
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