FicWad

A/N: Yay! Another Jo-Bros song from a Jo-Bro's point of view! I thought about making this one from Nick's point of view when Paige finally decides to go with Mac, but thought this one would make a better story. Kevin doesn't get enough love.

Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "Still in Love with You".

Song Used: Jonas Brothers' "Still in Love with You".



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Thirteen: Still in Love With You
Puppet: Paul Jonas Jr.


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She was all I ever wanted,
She was all I ever needed and more,
But she walked out my door,
Yeah, she went away...

Everyone always asked me why I seemed so scared of her, but what they didn't realize is that I wasn't really afraid of her. I was afraid of myself and how I'd respond to her.

Never before had I encountered a girl quite like Ollie before. She had such a different mindset in approaching things, such a fresh outlook on situations no matter how serious or small, such an amazing attitude toward life that it was a wonder no other guys had discovered her earlier. She made me think about things. She showed me new perspectives that I otherwise would've missed. She was always optimistic.

And she was just so beautiful...

And she knew me for who I was. She'd been my friend even before the Jonas Brothers became the newest rising stars of the music industry. She had always been hard to figure out when it came to what she thought of me, but at least I knew that she wasn't my friend because she was hoping to get some leftover rays of attention for being close with the band's guitarist. She didn't see me as some pop star on stage or some cute guy she'd seen on TV a few days ago. She wasn't like the other girls.

She was an oddball. And I loved it.

Actually, to say I loved her would've been the understatement of the century. Everything she did; the way she laughed at me for spending hours trying to straighten my hair, the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't looking back, the way those distant emerald eyes glittered like a polished stone whenever I smiled at her; was beautiful.

So intense were my feelings for her that I was afraid I would do something I'd regret for the rest of my life if I didn't hide it all away.

I'd already let her slip through my fingers once, saying I didn't love her and breaking the poor girl's heart. It had been an awful lie that almost ruined my life, and I'd watched her walk away with my head screaming at me for being such an idiot and my heart ripping farther and farther apart with every step she took away from me. But I'd gotten her back by using my greatest weapon: the truth.

I remember standing outside her door that night I hadn't been able to sleep, the full moon high in the dark night sky and the stars wishing their good luck upon me. The second the door had swung open to reveal my green-eyed, red-haired tigress I'd spilled my guts.

“I'm sorry I lied to you. I was scared. The truth is, I love you so much it hurts.”

She'd told me she loved me too. I promised myself I'd never have to see her walk away again...

But I was wrong. She'd gone again, and it hurt worse than it had the first time.

Left my heart in two,
Left me standing here,
Singing all these blues...

My room was eerily quiet.

Usually, I'd be listening to music or playing a video game, but I wasn't feeling usual. I was sitting in the corner with my back against the wall, my elbows resting on my curled-up knees, my eyes staring rather blankly ahead.

So quiet, so still was the air that I could very easily hear my brothers talking just outside my door, despite the fact that they were speaking in careful, hushed tones.

“What's wrong with Kevin?” Frankie sounded so innocently worried. I could just imagine him tugging gently at the hem of Joe's shirt and looking up at him with big dark eyes.

“Um...well, it's kinda hard to explain, Tank...” for once in his life, Joe actually sounded uncertain about something.

“He's lost something very important to him,” Nick, always the sensitive one when it came to matters of the heart whether it was his own or someone else's, helped answer the tough question our youngest brother had asked, “he's just a little sad right now. But he'll be better in a few days. I promise.”

Don't count on it.

Footsteps too light to be either of the older boys' departed. Frankie must've wandered off to find something more interesting to do than wonder about his big brother, but I didn't pay it much mind. He was only eight, after all. I couldn't expect a whole lot of sympathy from him.

You left without a single word,
Not even “sorry”,
It might have hurt worse just to hear you say,
“I'm leaving; goodbye”,
But your smile still makes my heart sing,
Another sad song,
I can't forget it, I won't regret it,
'Cause I'm still in love with you...

“We should leave him be,” Nick said after a moment, “he'll come to us when he's ready.”

I thought about opening the door for them to come in, but I didn't want to move. I contemplated yelling that I could hear them, but I didn't want to open my mouth.

I wanted to feel grateful that they were worried about me, but I didn't want to love.

I just really, really wanted to sit here and let it all just pass me by until I died.

Why had she left me like this?

We had fun under the sun,
And when winter came,
She'd be my angel,
We were so in love,
Then she went away...

I should've expected it to happen, but that didn't make me feel any better. I should've been used to her cryptic way of dealing with matters like this, but I still wanted to know why she didn't want to go anywhere with me; why she stopped saying, 'I love you too'; why she stood me up. I knew her. She simply didn't break promises like that. There had to be a good reason.

Something was bothering her. I could see it in those faraway eyes the day after; she was hurting. Someone or something had broken that hidden heart of hers and, just like I didn't want to love now that part of my soul felt as if it were missing, she didn't want to feel close to another imperfect being. I was just getting in the way. It didn't matter that I hadn't done anything to hurt her; she just needed some time to regain her trust.

But she wouldn't talk to me about it or anything else, and that hurt far worse than any break up ever could.

Didn't she know that I needed her to feel like she could trust me?

Didn't she know that I could understand if she just said she needed some space?

Didn't she know I still loved her?

I shivered in the cold November air. I was standing underneath a towering skeleton tree with a children's playground off to my right as I peered up at the dark night sky and wondered. Thought. Mulled. Brooded.

Left my heart in two,
Left me standing here,
Singing all these blues, yeah!

I wasn't sure why I was out here. I didn't know why I thought that wishing on a star would bring her back. I didn't even understand why she wasn't with me at that very moment.

We should've been together. She should've been cuddled up against me and pointing out the constellations I hadn't even known existed. I should've been holding her close, my jacket draped over her shoulders, only half listening because I was more interested in the sparkle in her jaded eyes rather than what she was showing me.

We should've been talking. We should have been communicating with one another. I should've been telling her how much I loved her and how much I missed her now that I knew what it was like, feeling miles apart.. She should've been laughing at me, teasing me and saying that I was a sentimental romantic but that she loved me anyway.

But we weren't together. We weren't talking.

You left without a single word,
Not even “sorry”,
It might have hurt worse just to hear you say,
“I'm leaving; goodbye”,
But your smile still makes my heart sing,
Another sad song,
I can't forget it, I won't regret it,
'Cause I'm still in love with you...

“Kev, you're really starting to scare us.”

“Yeah! You move any less and you're gonna start getting green hair.”

Both my curly-headed younger brother and I raised a skeptic eyebrow at Joe. I appreciated the concern, but Joe really wasn't very good at sympathizing.

However, he wasn't stupid and realized he'd said something very wrong. He ran a hand through his hair and smiled anxiously, his eyes shifting nervously from Nick to me. “Unh...heh, ya' know,” he shrugged sheepishly, “like a sloth.”

An awkward silence. Nick cleared his throat. “What he means is,” the little vocalist cast a scolding glance at the older boy as if that would somehow shame him into never saying something dumb again, “we think you should try and get out more. You haven't done anything fun since...”

“Yeah, nothing fun,” Joe once more echoed what our little brother was saying, “maybe if you went to some parties or something with us you'd meet someone you'll like even -”

“Shh!” Nick hissed desperately, elbowing the taller boy hard in the ribs. Joe groaned and doubled over, muttering something that Nick and I probably weren't supposed to hear. As for Nick, he looked up at me with big, apologetic eyes, it now being his turn to smile sheepishly. He started to say something, but I silenced him with a wave of my hand, a sad smile, and departing footsteps.

I don't know what hurts worse, baby,
Seeing you with him or being alone,
On my own,
I know he doesn't love you, baby,
Not like I do!
Oh, what's the point?
You're not listening anyway...

I wasn't angry. Even if I was, that wasn't going to bring her back. It wouldn't change the way I felt.

To say I hadn't thought about 'meeting someone else' would've been a lie. I had considered going to a party or two in hopes of meeting someone so I wouldn't feel so alone. I had considered the idea that maybe I could learn to love someone even more than I loved Ollie. But every time that blasphemous thought ran across my mind, I realized that it simply wasn't possible.

Which is why it broke my heart the first time I saw her with him.

You left without a single word,
Not even “sorry”,
It might have hurt worse just to hear you say,
“I'm leaving; goodbye”,
But your smile still makes my heart sing,
Another sad song,
I can't forget it, I won't regret it,
'Cause I'm still in love with you...

“How could you?”

I knew her well enough to know where she would be. She peeked around the popped hood of an old Plymouth she'd been working on, her eyes wide at the accusation as well as recognition. For only a split second did she look caught off guard, however, before her face melted into one of indigence. “What the Hell are you talking about?”

I crossed my arms across my chest. An argument was unavoidable. I was determined not to let her scare me. I was going to get to the bottom of this even if it killed me. For far too long I had wondered, agonized, brooded over why she had abandoned me. “That guy who's always hanging around here,” I answered, “how could you? Last I checked, we weren't officially split.”

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion, a gloved hand brushing a strand of flaming red hair out of eyes the color of a mint leaf. “What're you talking about?” She paused a moment and her eyes narrowed, “What guy?”

“Don't play stupid.” I growled.

“I'm not!” She barked back, turning few heads in the shop. She stalked around the car and got right up into my face. It was only then that I remembered that she had a fiery temper to match her hair and, for a moment, I was worried that the wrench she was holding would end up between my eyes. “I don't know what you're talking about!”

“I'm talking about how you've completely forgotten I exist,” I snapped back, “or did you just forget? Am I really that easy to pass off?”

She withdrew, the muscles in her face relaxing. “I didn't forget,” she replied, her tone much softer than it had been a few seconds ago, “I...I just -”

“Broke my heart, Ollie, that's what you did,” I cut her off, “but I'm still in love with you.”

You left without a single word,
Not even “sorry”,
It might have hurt worse just to hear you say,
“I'm leaving; goodbye”,
But your smile still makes my heart sing,
Another sad song,
I can't forget it, I won't regret it,
'Cause I'm still in love with you.


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A/N: At first I felt like the ending was horribly rushed and needed to be changed. But then I thought about it for a little while and realized, 'hey, it kinda makes sure you're interested in what happens next between these two'. Maybe that's just what I think. I dunno. I can't speak for the rest of you.