Categories > Celebrities > Guns n' Roses

Joke's On You

by littlemissbrownstone 6 reviews

In which our heroes are forced to get into the spirit of Halloween through a series of pranks from the King…

Category: Guns n' Roses - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor - Published: 2008-10-28 - Updated: 2008-10-28 - 1250 words - Complete

He silently pushed the door open so as not to wake his two friends who lay asleep, safe and sound in their bed. Tip toeing across the carpet, he approached the bed, desperately biting back his giggles. He placed the large, fake spider on the pillow next to Izzy's head as gently as he could before quietly exiting the room again. On to the next room...

He could hear the snores before he entered the room. He crept across the floor and stopped at the bottom of the bed before carefully stepping up onto the mattress, avoiding his friends' legs. He reached up and tied the loose end of the noose around the light fixture on the ceiling, once again trying his best not to burst into laughter. He made sure the dummy corpse would be facing his fellow Gunners when they woke up.

He went back downstairs to finish up his work in the rest of the house. Halloween was definitely Steven's favourite time of the year.


Izzy stirred in his sleep slightly and turned over on his side, bumping his nose on something hard and hairy. He opened his eyes but couldn't see anything in the dark so he switched the light on waking up Axl who turned to face him.


Axl and Izzy jumped out of bed faster than they could say "fuck". They stood there shaking and whimpering and holding onto eachother, cautiously looking back at the giant spider on the pillow, waiting for it to move or attack.

Meanwhile, their screams had woken Slash and Duff who turned on the light and had a rather similar reaction to their friends.


The Guns leapt out of bed and ran to the other side of the room, shaking with terror.

"What the fuck is that?!"

"Call 911!"

"How'd he get in here?!"

They looked at the corpse in the noose and then at eachother and then back to the corpse.


They sprinted out the door and ran right into Axl and Izzy who had come out to see what all the screaming from across the hall was about. All four Gunners were knocked to the ground like bowling pins.

"What happened?" Cried Izzy.

"There's a dead body in our room!" Shrieked Slash.

"Why did you scream?" Asked Duff, calming down suddenly as the cogs began to turn in his head.

"There's a huge spider in our bed!" Squealed Axl.

Duff looked from Axl to Izzy to Slash and cocked an eyebrow. He got up and went back into his room and poked at the corpse hanging from the ceiling.

"It's fake!"

"Huh?" Cried Slash as they all ran into the room.

"It's just a dummy!"

They all looked at eachother and knew exactly what was happening.

"Steven." Izzy grumbled.

"Let's go kick that little fucker's ass!" Shouted Axl and they all agreed.

Duff flipped the switch in the hall but the lights didn't come on. He flicked it up and down a couple of times more but still no lights.


Slash got his lighter out and by the pathetic glow from the flame the Gunners descended the stairs. Axl stepped on a strategically placed booby trap, which let out a loud squeak making all four Guns jump and shriek.

"What was that?" Cried Slash.

He held the lighter down by Axl's foot and picked up the offending object.

"It's a chew toy!" He noted.

"Err...we don't have a dog." Izzy pointed out.

"That sneaky little bastard! Wait'll I get my hands on him!" Yelled Duff.

They entered the living room and again found that the lights were not working. Slash walked over to the drawer to get out the flashlight and when he pulled the handle, out popped a jack-in-a-box. Slash screamed and the others jumped.

"Man, this isn't funny anymore! These stupid little kiddie's pranks are starting to really piss me off!" Shouted Duff.

"Hey maybe the streetlights outside could help us see where the little bitch is hiding."

Axl pulled back the curtains and let out an unnatural scream, leaping backwards in to Duff's arms and shaking like a leaf.

"It's not real Ax! It's just a dummy! It's fake!" Duff assured the shit-scared singer.

Standing in the window with its teeth bared was a dummy werewolf that looked more than convincing.

"Right...fake..." Repeated Axl, still keeping a cautious eye on the statue.

"I don't like this anymore," Whined Izzy, hugging himself, "Make it all stop."

The scared guitarist started backing up to the door, nervously looking around him, waiting for something to jump out and grab him.

"Izz man watch where you step, Steven's got traps everywhere." Warned Slash.

Just as he said it Izzy backed up one step too far and tripped over a string tied across the room. As soon as it snapped it released the paper bats from the ceiling. They swooped and fluttered around the room making a rustling noise, scaring everyone to death. Izzy curled up into a ball and screamed like a little girl until Axl ran over to calm him down.

"Dude this is getting way out of hand! It's not funny!" Cried Duff.

"Steven! Where the fuck are you?" Bellowed Slash.

Somewhere in the house Steven was made to bite back the giggles once more.

"Let's try the kitchen."

Duff opened the kitchen door and walked straight through a sheet of home made cobwebs. He screeched and flayed his arms about wildly as the gross feeling of cobwebs on skin overwhelmed him.

"Get it off me! Get it off!"

Steven could hold back no longer. He burst into hysterics and rolled out of his hiding place under the table and onto the floor. The others looked down at him in disbelief.

"You asshole! That wasn't funny!" Screamed Slash.

"That was...hilarious!" Steven was in tears now he was laughing that hard.

As the laughing prankster rolled about on the floor the four gotten Gunners mentally agreed to get Steven back for his practical jokes.


"Everything's in place?"

Slash nodded to the singer.

"As soon as we hit the last notes of the last song Steven's drums are going to explode with the whipped cream bombs inside it. He's going to be a total mess and in front of everyone!"

"Excellent." Axl said darkly.

It was time to get the king of pranks back by giving him a taste of his own sweet medicine.


The crowd starting cheering wildly as the last notes of Rocket Queen filled the tiny venue. As the song came to an end Izzy, Slash, Duff and Axl all shot knowing glances at eachother before looking back to the drum kit.

Steven was happily and obliviously drumming his little heart out. And that's when it happened...

All at once, a bucket of red paint splashed onto Izzy covering him completely, yellow paint on Slash, green paint on Duff and blue paint on Axl, which even splattered on to the unfortunate ones in the front row. Then thousands of feathers began to fall down on them with fans blowing them wildly about, making them stick to the rainbow Guns. A large, brightly coloured banner was suddenly lowered that read in big, bold letters, "Happy Halloween!"

Axl, Izzy, Slash and Duff looked at one another in complete and utter shock and disbelief while Steven beamed as he sat on top of his drum kit, revelling in the feeling of being the king of the pranks.

The End.
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