FicWad

I was nervous about how Gerard’s performance would be during the concert but my worries proved to be unnecessary. He put on one hell of a show. The crowed fueled his passion. Alicia and I sat together on the side stage watching and thoroughly enjoying the show. It pleased me that Eve seemed to have disappeared after Jenny had led her away. My stomach finally began to settle down although I had to admit the idea of throwing up on Eve did make me smile. I made a mental note to thank Jenny for her part in breaking up the situation between Gee and Eve.
The band left the stage as Alicia and I were discussing Christa's absence. We wondered why she hadn’t joined us to watch the concert. Gerard came directly towards me and grabbed my hand. I shot a look at Alicia to say I didn't know what was up and allowed him to pull me along. We passed through the backstage area quickly. I finally spoke when he pushed open the door leading us into the cool night air.
"Gee, slow down."
He continued towards the bus but did slow his steps slightly. Once we were on the bus he spoke.
"I just wanted to get the fuck out of there."
I understood completely. "I know." I said softly.
The bus was eerily quiet. Everyone else was still backstage. Gee took me in his arms and hugged me tightly. "I'm sorry about that shit with Eve." He whispered.
"It's not your fault." I answered hugging him back.
"Yeah, it is." He said letting go and stepping back. "It's all my fault. If I hadn't been so fucking weak and intent on trying to destroy my life this wouldn't be a problem."
He had tired to destroy his life that was true. Still he needed to stop beating himself up about a past he couldn’t change. “Look Eve is vile. Just forget about what she said.”
“How can I?” He took a step back. “She won’t stop.”
As much as I hated to bring it up I needed to ask him something I felt was important. “Remember when I asked you about Troy and Eve knowing each other?”
“Shit, I knew you’d bring this up.” He moved over to the sink and poured himself a drink of water.
“I’m not bringing it up to upset you. But I think it may be important.” I said softly. “Obviously they did know each other fairly well.”
He set the glass down with a thunk, “Yeah, obviously they did. From what Eve said tonight it was really fun for her to watch Troy and me fuck. I swear I can’t ever remember a time I was with Troy that Eve was around.”
Shit, he was getting angrier by the moment. I tried to calm him down, “Gee, that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m trying to point out is if you did mention Merri to Tory while you were fucked up there is a good chance Eve knows about her too.”
He turned around to face me, “No, if Eve knew about Merri she would destroy me with that knowledge not fuck with my mind.”
“Not if she didn’t know the whole truth. What if you only mentioned some things about Merri? Remember we thought that might be what happened with Troy. We thought that maybe Troy had figured out that Merri was someone you had a bad past with. Not what really happened.”
He moved over to the sofa and collapsed. “Laura, none of this makes sense. Someone trying to kill you goes beyond just trying to fuck with my mind. Someone literally tried to kill you but got Jenny instead. Someone tried to push you in front of a truck.”
I sat down next to him feeling exhausted. It was more mental than physical. “Gee, I’m just trying to figure this all out. Troy gave Jenny that picture you drew or me. He’s the one who told her “she” hurt the wrong one. It had something to do Merri.”
“If he knew I fucking woke up next to her dead body he would have used the information to ruin me.” Gerard said looking down.
“I agree. That’s why I don’t think he knew. But I do think he knew there was something bad in your past that involved Merri. I think he was trying to push you, trying to find out what it was.”
“Why?”
“To get back at you.” I said softly then added, “And me.”
Gerard shook his head, “Fuck all this shit. I don’t know that to think. None of it makes any sense. If you’re right it still can’t explain everything. What about the drawing that showed up in our apartment? Whoever put that there would have seen the truth. The drawing was my bedroom, it was Merri in my bed. Fuck, anyone looking at that drawing had to know what happened.” He was growing more and more distraught “Whoever drew that knew the truth.”
I closed my eyes a moment to blot out the thought that was in my head.
When I opened my eyes again he was staring at me. “Oh shit. You think I drew it, don’t you?”
“Gee, there are a lot of things from that part of your past you can’t remember. Maybe you did draw it.”
He looked devastated, “And you think I hung it on the wall, don’t you?”
In truth I didn’t know what to think. “I didn’t say that.” I answered quickly.
He shook his head, “You didn’t have to say it.”
I just wanted to take him in my arms and tell him it would all be okay but I couldn’t lie to him like that. What was happening was very real. “Gee, I’m just trying to figure this all out. I think someone other than the four of us knows the truth or they think they know.”
“I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take.” He said leaning back and closing his eyes. “I can’t even think straight anymore.”
We sat in silence for several minutes both lost in thought. “What if I’m right about Troy knowing something happened between you and Merri and he told someone else. What if that person dug deeper? You told me that a lot of the people back in Jersey knew about Merri disappearing, right?”
“Yeah, a lot of people knew she disappeared but everyone figured she’d just taken off like before.”
“But what if whoever is doing this figured they could push you to the breaking point forcing you to say what really happened?”
“Why? Why would someone do that?” He asked opening his eyes and looking at me.
“Because whoever it is hates you.” I said honestly. “They do want to destroy you.”
“Well Eve seems to hate me.” He said “And so did Troy.”
Our conversation was halted when Bob and Frank entered the bus.
“Shit, I’m wiped out.” Bob said with a yawn. “I’m gonna crash.” He headed directly towards his bunk.
Mikey and Alicia entered next with Ray and Christa directly behind them. Frank and Mikey began talking about the concert. Alicia took one look at me and walked over to whisper in my ear. “You okay?”
Shit, no I wasn’t okay but I had to pretend I was. I smiled at her and nodded.
Gerard looked over at me, “I’ll be right back.” He left the bus before I could say anything to him.
I noticed Ray and Christa were sitting on the sofa holding hands. Something was very wrong it was obvious.
Gerard walked back in and came directly over to me, “I’ll grab our bags. Worms getting us a car.”
“You two are taking off again?” Alicia said with a smile.
Before I could answer Ray spoke up, “Christa and I will go with you.”
I gave him a shocked look. Up until a minute ago he and Christa weren’t even talking to Gerard and me. Obviously that was going to change.
Gerard seemed surprised but nodded, “Sure, grab your stuff.”
Shit, I was feeling sick again. I could just tell Gerard and I were not going to have a pleasant evening.

The tension in the car wasn’t making me feel any better. So far we’d driven for about an hour and Ray and Christa had only said a handful of words to us. I looked over at Gee who appeared to be concentrating on his driving but I knew better. His fingers were gripping the wheel tightly. Like me he knew something was coming.
I decided to try to start a conversation again. “I was surprised to see you.” I said turning my head to look at Christa. “I didn’t think you were going to be able to join the tour until right before the break.”
“That was the original plan.” She answered. “But I knew I needed to be with Ray.”
That sounded ominous. “Oh.” Was all I could think to say.
“How much further you planning on driving tonight?” Ray asked Gerard.
“Hey, I’m ready to stop for the night as soon as you say the word.” He answered.
I saw Ray nod, “That last sign said there’s lodging off the next exit.”
Gerard simply nodded. He took the exit and we saw the bright neon lights of a well-known hotel chain. It wasn’t until we’d pulled in the lot that Ray spoke again.
“As soon as we check in we’ll show you why Christa is here.”
Oh fuck that didn’t sound good. “Why she’s here?” I repeated.
Gerard pulled in front of the hotel and cut the engine. “What the fuck is going on?”
Ray took a deep breath. “Christa brought me a letter that was delivered to my mom’s house.”
“To your mom’s?” Gerard asked.
“Yeah, it was delivered to moms where I used to live back when the group was just staring out.”
My stomach felt sick. “Who’s the letter from?” I asked holding my breath waiting for the answer.
“Merri.” Ray answered softly. “It’s from Merri.”