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[Blurb: Random phone conversation with one of Alana's best friends, Tannia (Tany, 'Hestia'), because Alana wanted to touch bases with reality. Except, the problem with calling old friends is that they know you better then you know yourself. While the conversation alludes to a number of revenge schemes that Alana has pulled in the past (she's had some really bad luck with guys..) it ends when Tany hits the one nerve that Alana (Ally, 'Athena') hates the most--girly gossip about guys.

Note: Alana is in an active RPG, the 'gods' belonging to their respective players as much as that type of thing is possible.]



Alana just wanted a voice of sanity. It really didn't seem like that much to ask for. In this town, in a palce she'd only been for just over a month, her best friend was Athena, her boss was Zeus, the guy who attempted to ask her out on a date was Achilles, Eros was handing out arrows to mortals, a random customer that she'd nearly yelled at was Apollo and the was a serial killer on the loose.

And that's all without the added complication of wondering if Hera was around, if she'd still have her job at the bookstore, whether she wanted to see Alex again and what exactly Keiran expected from her.

Somehow, the normal route of dancing, reading and beading just wasn't bringing her the distractions that she needed. She was half afraid to go walking out and around for fear of running into yet another immortal and getting herself even further woven into the weave of chaos. She'd probably bump into Artemis next who'd wonder why she was even talking with guys.

It was in an attempt to aviod such things that she'd called one of her best friends, another dance teamer that had helped her to get through high school--and create mischief.

"Hello?"

"So, I know this girl, right? And she just got married and she moved into a new house. She used to swear to me she'd never meet the guy of her dreams and said if she didn't by the time she turned 25? She was going to take a vow to became a permanent worshipper of Hestia. But, like I said, she's married, and I'm the one who's 24 and still haven't found a guy worthy of my time, energy and attention. You don't think she expects me to take the vow in her place do you?"

"No," Tannia answered with a grin on the other end of the line. Alana never managed to keep a conversation normal when it came to talking on the phone. She was sure if it were possible, she'd throw a water ballon on her just before hanging up. "Though she might want to consider one to Athena or Artemis, since, you tend to be more inclined to the typical masciline jobs. I'm sure Artemis would let you hunt down the men, or maybe Athena would help you kick the ass of one who dared to try to touch you after you scorned him."

Alana nearly heard a giggle at the last statement and rolled her eyes. Actually, she probably could get Athena to teach her something. She'd just have to think of a way to repay her. "I'll have to ask her next time I meet her then. Maybe there's a way to actually pull the stick outta a guys ass rather then only shoving it in."

"Well, you never had any problem using one to beat them over the head.. or in the groin.. or the stomach." She paused, staring at a picture frame of the two after their senior year state dance team competition, the second place trophy in their hands. "Or the foot, or the shin." she continued with a bit of a sigh.

"Don't forget the car, the windscreen or the wallet. Though I still say that the stick in laundry was the best of them all."

"Alana, that was a grease stick and he had to buy a whole new set of clothes because of it."

"Like I said, the best of them all."

"Has there ever been a guy you haven't sought revenge after?"

"Has there ever been a guy that didn't deserve revenge?"

"...."

"I didn't think so."

"Hey, there was that Eric guy."

"Yeah, who showed up with flowers to say he was sorry and the card had another woman's name on it. In his own hand writing. Not to mention the hickey on his neck."

"Ew. Yeah."

"I mean, if you're going to get the name wrong, don't put a name on it at all. Clare, I think it was..."

"What'd you do to him anyway?" Tannia plopped down on her couch, holding the phone to her ear with one hand, the other being inspected for hang nails. Finding one, she started to chew on it.

"Eric was.." She had to tilt her head to the side as she thought about it. "Oh, he was allergic to roses. I had a bunch of petals stashed in his car and sprayed a rose oil on the two front seats and steering wheel."

Tannia froze. Did she dare to ask?

"I got the keys from his roommate and the allergic reaction was sneezing and watery eyes. Nothing worse that Gabel's hay fever." She supplied the answer to the unasked questions. Didn't Tannia have faith in her yet to handle things like a pro?

"Athena dear, you need help."

"Hestia child, that's what best friends are for."

"No, I'm serious." She gasped in a way that made Alana's eyes widen. That sound only meant one thing. She'd gotten an idea that would probably doom her friend to embarrassment for the next three weeks. "We'll get you a date from someone online! Or get Rachel to do one of her spells for you! She can-"

"NO!"

"No, hear me out. She'll look up the flowers that Aphrodite li-"

"NO! Tannia, no. Whatever you are thinking. No. I've only been in this town for just over a month and already I've got more chaos and drama then what we had in all four years of high school."

"Even after the Slut Scent and Broken Stag escapdes?"

"Yes. Even more so then that. We talking.. like.. Greek God Drama here."

It was a bad word choice, because the next thing she heard was a crash on the ground as Tannia had tried to jump out of her sitting position, tripped over her own feet, and landed on the floor. Alana cringed. As graceful as her friend was on the dance floor, she was nearly a twit when it came to anything girly and a complete klutz. She'd also spent as much time as possible studying the Olympians and their various stories, dragging Alana along for the ride. She was probably the only person that had read the Iliad and Odyssey for fun. And yes, she'd considered it fun.

"Spill! You so owe me some good gossip girl. I think that the last time you gave me even a half decent story, you were drunk off your ass and reciting the epic poem of your most recent revenge scheme."

"OK, a, I wasn't drunk off my ass. I was sitting on my ass and a touch tipsy. Drunk off my ass would have had me on your roof and reading sonnets with the words throughly butchered and your neighbors coming to throw fruit at me." Tannia snickered at the image. It was true too.. if you replaced singing disco with sonnets and neighbors with fellow drunks and the roof to the second floor balcony. Oh, and fruit to water ballons. It was summer. "And b, it was far from an epic poem of any stretch of the imagination. It was like, a freakin.. blurb or whatever compared to an epic poem."

"Whatever Alana! You were trashed. Accept it."

"I'll accept that I was trashed when you'll accept that I was right about Gabel's comment to Rachel."

"Oh, that's not even fair."

"So fair."

"You were working on inside information!"

"Hey, you think I'd lay down a twenty dollar bet about a relationship if I didn't know the inside scoop?"

"The way you read people from a distance is like a sixth sense for you and you know it. You aren't allowed to use it when making a bet like that."

"It's observation girlie. Years of watching relationships build and crumble around me as I jumped from place to place taught me a bit more about it then any person in their right mind should know." An exaggeration by far. She, in that case and most cases, actually did have insider information. It wasn't her fault people loved to relate love stories to the girl of revenge. "I won that bet and you know it."

"Pft. Whatever. I've learned not to argue with you by now."

"Praise the gods! She can actually learn!"

"Hey!"

"You want to hear this bit or not?"

"YES! And it better be good."

"Don't worry, I'll leave out the details." And Alana began to tell a highly edited version of the events since her time in Olympia. Her friends had once said she had a natural story telling ability; she'd told them they just never heard a good story teller. Which, with today's culture, was actually very true. "Alright, so drove around and came to this town called Olympia in Southern Carolina of all places. Found a cheap hotel to live out of and started my job search, mainly for odd jobs and the like. I ended up bumping into a woman named Keiran while I was in the park actually. She basically got to town 'bout the same time I did. We chatted, yada yada yada, nothing really big. I found this woman who had a.. garage apartment basically, except it's above the garage rather then in it, that, in exchange for fixing it up she'd knock down the rate." Alana shrugged. "So, I took that. Also found a new bookstore that wasn't even open yet and talkin' with the owner I landed a job there pretty much right off the bat."

"What's he like? Old and grumpy or recent college drop out?"

"Older then Christ with a temper to match." Her tone was dripping with sarcasm, despite the truth of the statement. "You wanna hear any more or should I stop with the info there?"

"Alana, you are leaving out so many of your normal details I don't even know where to begin. What are you hiding?" She gasped again, and Alana smacked her forehead with a cringe. It was that girly giggle gasp. "You meet a BOY! Tell me all about him. What's his name? Is he cute? Did you meet him at the bookstore?" Another intake, this time more scandalis, her voice dropping to a whisper, "Is it your boss?"

If they had been in the same room, Alana would simply have stood up and left. Instead, she clicked the phone off. Let Tannia have her moment of a giggle fit, dreaming up some random person that she would think her friend was secretly hiding from her. In the mean time, Alana was going to get something to drink.

The two really were best friends, and when Tany wasn't acting like a complete girly girl, it was actually very easy to see why. Some how, the rational and low key nature of the almost tomboy balanced the high spirited and feminine nature of her best friend. They had conspired more then once to carry out plots of mischief, Tany's innocence and overwhelming natural charm making up for the more gruff and less tempered nature of her friend at times when they probably would have gotten themselves in trouble. Then again, as a pair, they loved destroying egos and proving that not everyone was good at everything. It was a knack they'd found.

When her phone went off, she answered it with, "So, what does he look like?"

"Dark blode hair, very fit, about six foot, shy smile and perfect manners." Tannia grinned. If she were going to describe a dream guy for her best friend, she'd at least make him cute. "He.. hmm.. He was a high school jock, dated the head cheerleader-

"SLUT SCENT!" they both said at the same time, Alana losing it to a snicker, Tannia to another giggle fit.

"-was a good student and a completely nice honorable guy. Completely unlike Mr. Unmentionable. Then he.. hmm." She took a moment to consider what a guy that could catch Alana's eye might have done after high school. He was atheletic, so maybe he followed a scholoarship? Or the army! She nearly melted at the idea of a buff guy in a uniform. "Well, whatever he did, he kept his good manners and a good moral code yet he can't be a push over. Because any guy that's going to keep your attention for more then five minutes? Has to have a strong will."

"Uh huh. And name are you giving to this dream guy?"

"Brad."

Alana nearly did a spit take with her water. "What?"

"Brad. Ya know, like Brad Pitt?" she said smugly. Oh yes, she had a good clue about this fantasy guy now.

"How about Alex and a former army brat?"

"..." Now it was Tannia's turn to be stunned. "WHAT?!"

"Please, you think I really am gonna have a crush on a guy when I've only been here, what, five weeks?"

"Oh, you are so dead Ally. SO DEAD!"

And the phone was clicked off. Alana didn't bother to call her friend back.

The phone rang only five minutes later.

"Ok, so honestly, is there a guy?"

"Hestia my dear child, am I one to have a guy?"

"That's it. I'm calling Rachel."

"What? Wait-" CLICK! the phone went dead.

She spent the next few minutes trying to get through to Tannia, ready to threaten, beg or bribe her to not interfere. She couldn't really tell her friend the truth, but that didn't mean she wanted anything even close to a prayer getting heard. Or, more to the point, being answered. The cell phone was busy, the house phone never answered. Oh, Tany would pay for such treason...

Alana dropped her head repeatedly on the counter top. This could not be good.