Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > A Promise Broken
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A Promise Broken
(#) Ithilwen 2006-03-12
I can tell you two things right now that will get more people to read this story. 1. Don't use your summary space to give the disclaimer. Put it in the body of the text, and use the summary to tell the readers something about the story (or why they should read it). 2. Do not start with anything that could be construed as "It was a beautiful day in the sengoku jidai." That's the "It was a dark and stormy night" of Inuyasha fanfiction.
Your descriptions of chibi-Yash are just adorable, except for the lisping. The lisping bothers me.
Also, why does he say "bruzzer" at one point and "brother" at another?
Grammar etc:
You should start a new paragraph whenever there's a new speaker.
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